Corn Cob Man

I was tired.The daily commute in the Mumbai local train takes a lot out of you.

I'm waiting in the belapur station for it to stop raining.

Somewhere in the background of my mind  , a song plays itself over and over again.....

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feels a different kind of pain....

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.....

I'm hungry.The rain has become a drizzle-a weak pitter-patter .I brave through it.

           Mumbai is the same everywhere.Technically , CBD Belapur , which is where I live , isn't mumbai , but navi (new) mumbai.But the chaos and enthusiasm and endless energy of mumbai (I miss my old Bombay)infects everything and everyone around it, even satellite cities like navi mumbai.So Navi Mumbai sometimes acts like its big brother Mumbai.

                I was hungry.All I'd eaten was a Veg thali and had a cuppa chai-which does not qualify as a full meal to meet the needs of a growing (horizontally?) boy like me.

                 So I grumbled along the squishy-squashy wet way, while my tummy rumbled.

Squish-Squash-Grumble-Rumble,Squish-Squash-Grumble-Rumble

        I walked alone, where at once a delicious aroma wafted through.Somewhere ahead , there was a corn-cob man , grilling it with hot charcoal.My nose under the direct orders of my tummy lead me to the corn-cob man without any hesitation.

"Ek ka kitna" (How much for One ?) I ask in my ever-rusty hindi.

"Dus Rupiye , sir " he says(10 rupees)

"Arrey , chokra , Sir ko ek butta bana! Aur jaldi !" He says.

            The corn cob man was a Bol-bacchan , a raconteur .He'd be an accomplished barker in a carnival if there were any in mumbai.

Soon the corn-cob man started weaving tales around the corn-cob  beginning from its humble origins in the corn fields of punjab and ending up with the satiating a million hungry hearts all around India.The corn cob or as we call it the Butta was his daily bread and butter and he was there to elevate it to otherworldly realms beyond human reach.

Five minutes is all it takes .The butta is grilled on red-hot embers , and as the effect , the butta is charred from top to bottom.The aroma wafts every now and then , maddening the senses.

The corn cob man knows how to do his business.He stokes the embers continuously by fanning air , the heat on a chilly damp rainy evening is soothing , the smoky aroma is permeating everywhere, his stories have now left me more hungry than ever.

         The tummy rumbles.A physiologist might tell you that the rumbling is due to peristalsis, but believe me , it's because I'm hungry.

                   The now-charred butta is rubbed with a wedge of juicy lemon dipped in rock-salt.This imparts a sour and salty taste onto the corn-cob.Ummm.......I'm salivating !

"Sir , yeh lo aapka butta" he says handing over the corn-cob.He has a sly smile on his face.He's no MBA , but he probably knows how to sell his corn-cob, he in a sense knows the secret of a good sale-it is soft seduction-where a customer willfully indulges all his senses hedonistic-ally and comes out satisfied and guilt-free and wanting more.

                        I grab my corn-cob , pay him his money and leave.It starts to rain heavily after I've covered some distance.I unfurl my umbrella while watching many unprepared pedestrians run for cover.

          Hey ! I realize something...I'm not grumbling anymore and guess what I'm smiling :)

       My incisors dig deep into the corn-cob as I bite deeply and grab a chunk out of it , and chomp leisurely.I'm grinning like a fool with bits and pieces of the corn-cob stuck to my face and I don't give a damn ! A few street urchins stop playing in the puddles and start staring at me jealously as I chomp along in the rain.

Squish-Squash-Chomp-Chomp, Squish-Squash-Chomp-Chomp I walk towards home.

P.s. Oh man ! Corn-cob stuck between my teeth....Very painful...:(  Can anyone lend me some dental floss please ?

 

Blogworthy ?

blog-worthy	(adj):
	When something happens in your day that is worth mentioning on your blog (web log). Mike, "I can't believe that just happened. That is totally crazy." Chad, "Make sure you Blog It." MIke, "Ya, that is totally blog-worthy."

 

I thought I was following shakespeare's footsteps when I thought up of a word called blogworthy.It turns out many people before me have invented this word.So I cannot take credit for it.

It's an obsession of mine.All day as I observe , I make mental notes of al the events and experiences .These are basically categorised into two categories , viz. Blogworthy and Non-blogworthy.

It would be blogworthy because :

1)It is new

2)It is interesting.

3)It reflects me in some obscure way.

4)It is a brand new experience (for me)

5)It is strange/weird.

6)It is informative and something I want everyone to know that I know ;)

7)It is insanely hilarious.

8)I no longer want to keep it a secret.

9)Its something I created and want to share.

10)Its something I'm proud of.

11)Its something that makes me mad /angry/frustrated/sad.

All the subjects which do not meet one or all the requirements are non-blogworthy .

Are you Blogworthy ?

A Look At A Japanese Sex Doll Factory - Hemmy.net, A source of varied interests(18 + only)

http://www.hemmy.net/2007/05/28/a-look-at-a-japanese-sex-doll-factory
18 + only means , your mom might not like that you are looking at this page.

Ragged Trousered Philosopher

http://www.fullmoon.nu/articles/art.php?id=tal

Personality Disorder Test - Personality Test

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Once upon a time in la-la land ...Attraction is important

What can I say !

This isn't my story.

But, the writer wishes to remain anonymous , but he is a genius...

I'd like to tell you a story...

It's a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman.

At first, she was just another attractive woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her.

But there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes she would say things like "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue.

But something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn't acting like a woman that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that if she only knew how HE FELT, that she would feel the same way.

So he made a bold move.

He TOLD HER how he was felt.

He confessed that he was in love, and that he would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said "Thank you... I really mean that... but I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important to me...".

This only confused the man more.

He didn't know how to take it...

Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something?

Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long- term relationship?

Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?

Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore... he had to be with her.

He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so he took a big step, bought her a symbolic gift, and wrote her a long, long letter... again confessing his feelings.

And then the unthinkable happened.

She didn't reply.

He called her three times a day for almost a week before reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy, and said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go"... and hung up...

...but he never got a call back.

Over the following months, the man tried desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened.

THE END

OK, I'm back.

Now, wasn't that a sweet story?

Heart warming, huh?

I know, I should keep my day job, and not take up writing romance novels...

Now, let's talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

And I'm not talking about FICTION here.

I'm talking about a story that rings true for a great majority of men. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for most men?

Because we've all been there in one way or another... at one time or another... and many of us have been there OFTEN in our lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs... as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us of...

Stories and situations like this one really FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation I think there is a solution.

And it lies in understanding a secret that women know but MEN DON'T.

And that secret comes down to the reality that if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON'T WORK, they actually make things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a man does to try to make a woman LIKE HIM make her NOT like him. They make her run.

All those great intentions and emotional dedication actual cause the man feeling them to do things that make her go away.

It sucks.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens to you I'll help you avoid this painful situation in your own future...


THE "INSTANT EWWW"

I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...

So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.

Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor...?

Have you ever thought to yourself "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"...?

Yea, I have too.

Well here's the deal:

If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to backfire.

It's going to trigger a feeling that like to call the "Instant Ewww".

The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.

It's over.

It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a woman feels the Instant Ewww, she will start behaving differently.

In short, she'll disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the "Instant Ewww"?

I got it from WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was "confessing his love"... of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return.

So what causes the Instant Ewww?

And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels?

Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment a you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, women always know how men feel.

She already knew you wanted her.

She knew it from the beginning.

But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.

You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.

In summary...

You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...

Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you.

Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, If you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice thing for them, they will probably like you more.

On the other hand...

If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way, and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.

Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like her.Tell her you like her.She likes you

Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.

If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:

She thinks of you as a friend.You tell her you like her.She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...


THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back.

DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.

Don't buy her a big gift and write a love
letter...

Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a not that says "From your secret admirer".
Don't call her three times a day.

And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.

If you want to know how she feels about you, KISS HER .

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a woman if she's interested in your in a romantic way, or if you are "her type" will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.

Really.

The SECOND answer is to not get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what's the best way to learn THAT
skill?

I thought you'd never ask...

I've spent several years now studying the ways that men who are "naturals" communicate using their words, voice tone, and body language that makes them MAGNETIC to women.

And I'll tell you... it's not magic.

You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young.

And you don't have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY man can learn it if he wants.

But you're not likely to figure it out by "trial and error". Many of the keys to making women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense... and they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation if you didn't know the SECRETS.

 

Muddy Brown Moon

Muddy Brown Moon

Look at the stars
you'll miss them tonight
the lone moon stares
across the silent night

You pray ask
why such a plight ?
did she deserve
her very first fight ?

The prince of clouds
found her kissing
his friend , King Neptune
in the very sea she was setting

The prince of clouds
her jealous lover
ired by her betrayal
pushed away for his rage overpowered

on those nimbus clouds
He stormed away
and left her alone
to her dismay

 

The muddy brown moon sequel

The muddy brown moon
seems lonely tonight
her lover may come
If he has forgotten the fight

He'll come riding
on those nimbus clouds
he'll come wearing
those billowy shrouds

O muddy brown moon
your tryst has him spurned
he's gone forever
never to return

The muddy brown moon
seems lonely tonight
it is my boon , nay my only chance
to woo her with all my might.

 

Twilight

 
Twilight

Twilight creeps up ,
catching you unawares .
The dimming world has
gone ashen , in a second !
Colours dulled , boundaries blurred.

Lo! , up in the sky ,
My sun has retired ,
drowning beyond the horizon
bathing the celestial sphere
with shades of auric orange

Lo! the planets and stars shine bright
tis now the pixie hour
bring on the fairy dust
to sprinkle on goblins
who play catch with the squealing sprites

Soon the twilight will end
The pixies will run
the sprites will hide
and goblins must defend

For the witching hour is upon us
be brave soldier, or
cower or just pretend
that there is a tomorrow
just like today !

Mrs.Darth Vader

Foreign Policy: The FP Memo: The Endgame in Iraq

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/story/cms.php?story_id=3866&page=0

The Official Fake Detective Web Site

http://www.fake-detective.com/

Generically Handsome

                      You know how it is when some one stares at you .There is that inner 'click' that goes off.You instantly become aware of a pair of eyes that are trained on you.The back of your neck prickles.A freaky 'spidey sense' that all of us have got.You scan the periphery ,
stealthily .You don't want your secret admirer to find themselves being caught in the act
of surreptitiously looking.You want them to enjoy their voyeuristic act , because you too are secretly thrilled at being visually ravished.Ahh..but you can't resist looking .You'd
really love to see that person who has dared to stare at you.

I was at my usual restaurant ,in my usual table,alone, but a bit later
than usual time.For a change I had ordered Malai Kofta and rotis.A family sat in a table
diagonally opposite to mine .It was a usual city type nuclear family -there was the mom
wearing a very inappropriate loud red T-shirt that said "Ageing is an issue of mind over
matter .If you don't mind , it doesn't matter"
Dad looking weary , still wearing his office clothes , all rumpled and crushed by his
daily commute in the ever busy mumbai local .There was a daughter wearing pink and white
horizontally striped Polo T-shirt with blue straight jeans.She looked like a typical meek
girl , wearing cliched librarian tortoiseshell glasses and a meek oil slicked pony tail.
It was the daughter that set off my day's introspection.She started to
stare at me.It was kinda weird.She was a kid , probably seven to eight years younger than
me.Too young for me even to consider anything , let alone act on it .When I tried to make
eye contact with her , she would look at her feet and cement her eyes there.After a while
I'd catch her again staring at me.This time , I did not try to look directly at her.I used  my peripheral vision .It was clear .She was gawking at me , continuously.It even disrupted
her mom , enough to get her mom curious .Now she and her mom were staring at me .But her mom didn't find me intersting for long.She shook her head and then continued picking at her
plate (I think she was eating chinese fried rice) , but the little girl continued to stare.

        I know I'm not very handsome .I've long ago accepted it as my fate.I have wavy hair that
never obeys any comb , gel , spray or mousse ,and  a freckled face , my skin breaks out
frequently and is prone to blackheads , a huge nose , drooping bags under both eyes , a
high fore head and peeling lips.Mom told me I'd never be a heartthrob if I ever went acting
, but to tell you the truth , i never had any thespian aspirations.

I was an Okay-looker , a chalega boy , a guy with generic handsome-ness but just
so only.

But what about the daughter ? How was she , you would ask me , because even
though I described her as meek looking , she was still beautiful .There were moments when
her face literally lit up , and beauty flashed through .I guess its my weakness that I
that I find everyone beautiful.Everyone is beautiful in their own way .A heart warming
smile , a nose thats that is hooked just the right way , soft warm hands , that little
wrinkle between the eyebrows when the person smiles.It's a talent that I've got .I can spot
beauty in any person within seconds.

What did this girl see in me ?
I look at myself in the mirror , and attempt to answer my own question.I guess i am
generically handsome , a person who is actually a blank template of a face.I've had people
come up to me , calling me by different names

"Arre Roshan , how are you yaar ?"

or

"Oye karan singh ! ruk oye ! idhar toh aaa !".

All these people were convinced that they had found the right person.There were others who
were not so sure.They would simply stare , not able to entirely convince themselves whether
they were right or wrong.I believe my face is a bklank template , upon which an onlooker
could fill any qualities his mind desired- if you wanted to see a long lost brother , you
would see it in me , or a funny cousin who cracked one too many jokes or even a person who
had once stirred your soul and got away with it.It was generic handsomeness, the kind that
never stood out in a crowd , my face evoked a sense of deja-vu , the kind that vaguely
reminded you of someone in your life , but not really distinct.

I was amused , also intrigued.

What was her story?

The girl who stared at me ...

"I once had a boyfriend who looked just like you .He had to move out of town , and then he

completely forgot about me.I can't bear to forget him " I imagined her telling me her

story. .

But my reverie had come to an end .I had eaten 3 rotis and a Handi full of Malai Kofta.

"Check Please !" I called out to the waiter , looking at her with my peripheral vision .She
was no longer staring at me.Was she convinced finally that I was not who she thought
was? There was little I could decipher from her downcast eyes shielded by her librarian
glasses.At that moment , she was still absently picking at her food.I had to move on .

I am my own Grandpa !

He:Did I tell you how beautiful you are
She:Pschaw ! Tell me something new ...
He:My girlfriend just dumped me ...
She: Boohoo ! Grow up !
He :I'm in love with you.
She:Please ! Not that crap again ...tell me something new.
He:   It's true , I'm in love with you .Look , I don't even have a girlfriend , I made her up to      score some sympathy .She's not real , she never even existed !

           Your'e the ONE ! You're the only one !

She: C'mon , gimme something original ...
He : I'm in love with your sister too !
She:  yeah ! that's more like it .But More Drama ! More Drama !
He :Your mother is also my mother ; so we're actually family...
She: Ahh  yes ! The forbidden love angle ...Gotta love that ...Go On...
He : Ummm...Errrr...I'm My own grandpa ?
She: Yeah ! Bravo ! Thats it ! We'll play that old song too...Now sing it for me , sing it!
He :I'm my own Grandpa ...
She:Youre Off key , you Idiot  !
He :I'm my own grandpa Tra la la la
 
So presenting to you ,

I am My own Grandpa

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three
I got married to a widow
Pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown up daughter
With flowing hair of red,
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad,
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown up daughter,
Who of course was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandson
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because although she is my wife,
She's now my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw,
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

 

Tattoo Remover

How to remove your Tramp Stamps

I'm Not Okay(I Promise)

Well if you wanted honesty, That´s all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it´s better off this way.
For all the dirty looks,
For photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I´m not okay.
I´m not okay.
I´m not okay.
You wear me out.


What will it take to show you that it´s not the life it seems?
(I´m not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but still don´t know what they mean
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look!

I´m not okay.
I´m not okay.
I´m not okay.
You wear me out.


Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed

I´m okay.
I´m okay!
I´m okay, now
(I´m okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I´m telling you the truth
I mean this I´m okay!
(Trust me.)

I´m not okay
I´m not okay
Well, I´m not okay
I´m not o-fucking-kay
I´m not okay
I´m not okay
(Okay)

The Relationship Manual

                           Middle-class husbands are like appliances.They come with a manual of
instructions which you are supposed to read before install them.They are guaranteed by the church and Good Housekeeping , but the guarantee is void if you don't follow the
instructions.There are maintenance manulas on every newsstand telling you how to keep them oiled properly.And when you have worn one out , madam , you can turn him in for a good
price at the courthouse , after which you can stop worrying and send your clothes to the
laundry. Then you will have plenty of free time on your hands which you can use to sit
around the house and bite your nails.

                             Middle-Class wives are also like appliances .They come with a manual of
instructions you are supposed to read before you install them.They are guaranteed by the
Church and the Good Housekeeping, but the gurantee is void if you don't follow the
instructions.There are maintenance manuals on every newsstand telling you how to keep them  oiled properly.The difference is that instead of your wearing her out , sir , she wears you
out , and instead of your turning her in and getting part of your money back , she turns you in and you have you keep up the payments .What kind of washing machine is that ? No
wonder some men prefer the laundromat.

Dr.Eric Berne (Author of Games People Play )

So here's a skeleton manual for dealing with introverts in various relationships.



While some introverts are perfectly happy without a committed relationship , most prefer to
be intimately involved with someone.

             To avoid having to make the first move , introverts often find partners by being set up on dates or introduced by a friend, co-worker or family member.This arrangement seems to be
Fine with women , but it fails with a man , as he must always be the overt initiator in any
relatioship , as per the unwritten laws of the society.Men , If you wanna , U gotta make
the first move .

                  We see many introverts married or in a partnership with extroverts , and there are several good reasons for this .For one thing , there are more extroverts -thrre extroverts for
every one introvert - and they are easier to meet .While introverts may be surfing the
Internet , taking a solo bike ride , or snuggled up reading at home , extroverts are out
there mingling -at parties , sports clubs , or professional organizations .And then there's
the issue of 'otherness;.Carl Jung thought that as humans we are constantly seeking to be a
complete person.Therefore , he believed , we are attracted to and select mates who are our
opposites.Another reason introverts are drawn to extroverts is because extroverts often
assume the talking and "doing" duties in the relationship , which means introverts can
relax and feel less pressured.

                                       To introverts , extroverts look as if they could leap tall buildings in a
single leap .Look , up in the sky , it's SuperExtrovert.
(If you are reading this , this is why I like you very much, you know who you are)



Lets look at some of the permutations and combinations of a typical Introvert Extrovert couple relationship dynamics.



The advantages and Challenges of a Intro male-Intro female relationship.

Advantages

They listen attentively to each other

They are patient about thinking things over.

They understand each other's needs for privacy and quiet.

They have fewer conflicts.

Challenges

They may lose touch with the outside world.

They may see everything in terms of themselves.

They may avoid discussing conflicts , differences and separate needs.

They may rely on each other for too many emotional needs.


Advantages and Challenges of a Extro male-intro female relationship

Advantages

The female listens to the male

The male partner encourages the female to be active and social.

She has more freedom because her partner makes few demands on her time.

He has more personal autonomy because his partner enjoys her time alone.


Challenges

The male often lacks intimacy skills.

The female partner may not talk about her thoughts and feelings.

He may blame her for all the failures in the relatioship; she may accept the blame or

ignore it .

She may have trouble asking directly for what she wants.


(Often , an intro female is attracted to the extro male .Why not ? He is warm , friendly ,

outgoing )


Advantages and Challenges of a Intro male-extro female relationship.

Advantages

The woman may have more power than in traditional relationships

the man listens to her and values her opinion.

He has less pressure to take the lead.

Both partners have presonal space , and they balance each other's activity levels.


Challenges

The man can feel suffocated by the woman

The woman may not have emotional needs met ; she may become demanding.

She may feel ashamed of her partner ; she may see himself as weak , passive , or avoiding.

His self esteem may decline.

Techdo :: Forum and Blog » How to log on to Windows after 30 days Without Activation

http://www.techdo.com/how-to-log-on-to-windows-after-30-days-without-activation

Miscellaneous Masala/Spicy Stuff: Top 10 Sex Records

http://masalajokes.blogspot.com/2007/06/top-10-sex-records.html

These are pretty clever

http://www.funnyfunnel.net/Word-picturetest2.html

Fake Al Qaeda

http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/fakealqaeda.html
Draw your opinions on this one.

Introducing an Introvert

         Confession is often an avoidance of change,If I confess , I don't have to accept responsibility for changing it: "I confess .It's beyond my control " And it shifts the burden:"you've heard it , now what are you going to do about it?"
                                                                      Hugh Prather

So this is not my confession.But Yes I am an introvert.Research suggests that I was born this way.So there is not much I can do about it , other than rewire my brain  (Not possible with the current technology )

Extroverts outnumber us by a ratio of 3:1.

So we are the minority , always.

Lets have a breakup of what makes us different from the extroverts.

Introverts:

Enjoy time alone
Consider only deep relationships as friends
Feel drained after outside activities, even if they were fun
Good listener
Appear calm and self-contained
Think then speak or act

Extroverts:

Like to be in the thick of things
Relish variety
Know lots of people, considers lots of people friends
Enjoy chit-chatting, even to strangers
Feel stoked after activity
Speak or act then think OR think while speaking


Well , this does not apply exactly to everybody , so I have attached a 'Self Assessment' questionnaire which will determine your introversion or extroversion.

Advantages
Introverts Possess:

10) Work Well With Others, Especially In One-to-One Relationships

9) Maintain Long-Term Friendships

8) Flexible

7) Independent

6) Strong Ability To Concentrate

5) Self-Reflective

4) Responsible

3) Creative, Out-of-the-Box thinking

2) Analytical Skills That Integrate Complexity

1) Studious and Smart


Misconceptions
About Introverts:

10) Party Poopers

9) Unfriendly

8) Nerds

7) Lacking Social Skills

6) Won't Talk

5) Don't Like People

4) Withdrawn

3) Loner

2) Shy

1) Hermit

We'll have more on this in the future.

 

Oh yes.I used to be uncomfortable around starngers , but no more.I'm constantly improving.

Attachment: SelfAssessment.pdf

Shippy 6

Shippy 5

Shippy 4

Shippy 3

Shippy 2

More Photos in an around the ships I've worked on.
They aren't high resolution pics though , so Better watch them without maximising them.

Me V/s The Punching Bag

It was always Me v/s the Punching bag.

Yeaterday I punched it too hard.
Tore into its very fabric of existence .(I'm being sarcastically melodramatic).
Also tore its fabric !
Now My Punching Bag , My Companion has lost its usefullnes.
It has been put to sleep.

When a man fights brick walls , it's the man who eventually wins , because bricks never hit back.

My hands are still the same , mangled , knotty and heavily calloused.

And I'm forced to use my old punching bag which is 2/3 rd's of the torn one.(I used it when I was a kid )

True Blue (Sapna Bhavnani)

True Love will find you in the end
you'll find out just who was your friend
Don't be sad , I know you will ,
But don't give up until
True love finds you in the end..."            

crooned Daniel Johnston on the jukebox as I thought of  good friend I used to have.

                       He was a beautiful man and alive most of the time , when sober ,He loved catching butterflies on a warm summer day and making snow angels on a cold winter night.Things and people did not bother him much ."I am a shaman sapna.A shaman fueled by the Gods to make this world a better place"

                   As ridiculous as that sounded to an outsider like me , I believed him and played along.

     We would sit at our favourite bus stop in Chicago and watch the world of public transit go by(of course , I did not have a job then)

    It was like clockwork everyday .Wake up , pick up coffee n smokes and run to the stop.He'd be there smiling in anticipation ,He wrote a lot .His journal spoke in depth of his journeys had and yet to come.The commuters made a point to come early and listen to him recite a new poem everyday.He was weird , most intellects would confirm.

           I was 20 and completely smitten by him.I had never met anyone like him in my early days of life in India .I mean the bus stop is hardly a place I think of while hanging out in Bombay.He had made it his stage , his forum ,, his university .people enrolled .People would've paid if he charged .People are like cows right , they just love to be herded.
Maybe I was a cow too.

                He was late one morning .the commuters missed their bus waiting for him .I bit my toenails wondering.

              He did not look right.His face was dirty and his mouth seemed dry ." You ok ?"He smiled like he always did.He removed his shirt and then his pants and then his underpants and then took center stage butt naked"We are the children of a fatherless generation..." he sang , in perfect harmony with the traffic.

           It was only a mater of seconds before the cops showed up and arrested him .I followed .They took him to the local station and then transferred him to the mental ward of a government hospital.

          He escaped in two days and returned to his usual spot.

            Everything was back to normal.No questions asked.

            It was June 8 when I found him dead .He had overdosed on heroin, they said.
   
He lay on the bench with his journal beside him.An angel no snow could ever make.I requested the authorities to keep him there for a bit.

People mourned before they got on the bus to resume their corporate lives.I just sat there shamelessly reading his journal.

"This is a promise with a catch ,
  only if you're looking can it find you
   cause true love is searching too
  but how can it recognize you
  Unless you step out into the light ?
  But don't give up until
  True love finds you in the end...."

He had stepped into the light and taken center stage again.
PS: I have started hanging out at bus stops.

(Sapna Bhavnani runs a salon in Bandra , Mad-O-Wot )

From Geek To Freak !

It took me nearly a Year to become a Freak.

Watch my old.
I was a geek with a weird musthache.

Lola Boney M

Strangely I find Lola Kutty very sexy .
I also find Fran Drescher sexy...Go Figure !

I'm a cuckoo for sure !

9 Reasons American-Haters Are Idiots

1. Your beer is not better than ours
I hate to be the one to break this to the Germans, but Colorado has better beer. Here is a link to a list of Colorado breweries. There should be no more argument on this subject. If so, the rules state there has to be a drink-off. It will be me and some chicks versus some foreign guy and some chicks. Challenger buys.

2. Your chicks may be skinnier, but ours have bigger boobs
Boobs are what matter the most. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Although I do agree that Brazil kicks America’s ass when it comes to hot chicks… and European women are much more open about sex… and most foreign women like American dudes… wait, there was a point here and I think I broke it…

3. Fuck soccer
Girls play soccer. It’s not called football, it is called soccer. There is a reason the Vince Lombardi trophy is not awarded to the winner of the world cup. Vince was a man who only stood for man stuff, like football and running until you pee blood. Soccer players don’t pee blood. They pee horseradish. I’ve seen it...

4. Red Foreman was an American
So were Thomas Jefferson, The Rock, Hunter S Thompson, and Richard Pryor. Don’t get me wrong, there are cool guys in the rest of the world. Just not as many. What’s that you say? You don’t think The Rock belongs on that list? The Rock wipes a monkey’s ass with what you think. Oh yeah, and we’re taking Sean Connery. I claim him for America. Don’t dispute me. I’ll sick my monkey on you bastards!

5. 90% of the time, your country sucks worse than ours
I always find it funny when some asshole starts yammering on about how America sucks and when you ask him where he lives he says some shit like “France”. France has no room to talk about anyone else. At least the United States doesn’t have rioting going on in the streets and stupid guys named “Pierre” walking around drinking wine and speaking French. Maybe we do, but those guys get their asses kicked here. Unless they are Canadians, in which case it’s best to leave them alone during hockey season.

6. Your leaders don’t stand up to Bush…
We don’t allow dictators to terrorize the rest of the world, so why does the rest of the world stand idly by and allow them to terrorize us? A sarcastic thanks goes out for all the help you have given us. I guess taking out that Hitler guy must have been a freebie or something… speaking of Hitler…

7. WWI and II
We stopped the Germans from taking over the world. TWICE. This earth would be a lot worse of a place if it weren’t for the USA. German beer for all? We already discussed that in the first entry. Shizer porn everywhere? I’ll pass. The rest of the world can go ahead though; America is not here to judge.

8. Freedom
Not everybody has freedom. When someone doesn’t have freedom, they get mad at America for having it. What they don’t know is we get searched by cops for no reason, harassed by airport security at every turn, and lied to by our officials about everything they know. People without freedom: don’t hate America! We don’t have freedom either.

9. In the end, we are all products of the rest of the world in some way
Only the Native Americans have no roots somewhere in the rest of the world. If anyone should be hating here, it should be the god damn Indians hating the rest of the world for what they sent over here. Look at the mess you people caused over here. It used to be a nice forest. Shame…

Five-second rule for dropped food is wrong -- it's 30 seconds

Dropping a piece of food on the floor and then picking it up and dining on it is a germaphobe's nightmare.

Streptococcus. Staphylococcus. E.coli. Oh, my!

But how bad is it?

A college professor and her students are challenging the prevailing wisdom of the so-called five-second rule, which for generations has governed how long little morsels can remain on floors uncontaminated.

The window, the Connecticut team has concluded, really is 30 seconds.

"We wanted to look at a real-world situation," said Anne Bernhard, assistant professor of biology at Connecticut College in New London, noting the difference between her team's work and that of an earlier researcher.

In 2003, Jillian Clarke was a high school intern at the University of Illinois when she confirmed the five-second rule after painstakingly coating floor tiles with E.coli, then dropping gummy bears and cookie pieces onto them.

But as with all findings in science, there was room for challenge.

Most people, Bernhard said, do not smear their floors with E. coli.

And therein lies her "real-world" research. She and her two students, Molly Goettsche and Nicole Moin, chose the college's busy cafeteria as a test area.

Instead of gummy bears and cookie pieces, Bernhard and her students chose apple slices and Skittles.

"The students wanted two different types of food sources: a wet source and one that was a dry food source, to test any differences," Bernhard said.

"You would think that a wet food source would be more likely to attract bacteria very quickly."

Each food item was dropped in triplicate for specific intervals that ranged from 5 seconds to 5 minutes.

"We did this experiment in the main dining area and about 2,000 students traffic through that area," Moin said yesterday.

"So you'd think there would be a multitude of bacteria on the floor."

But in the first set of tests, in which moist apple slices were dropped, the students were stunned to find they had blown the 5-second rule to smithereens.

What they saw after 5 seconds were pristine morsels. It wasn't until the 1-minute interval that they found bacteria developing on the apple slices.

It took 5 minutes for organisms to colonize a Skittle.

The conclusion, Bernhard said, is that instead of a 5-second rule for moist foods that have fallen, the standard should be 30 seconds: As long as you eat a moist food within 30 seconds of its fall, you're very likely to be in a zone of safety.

For dry, less porous foods, she added, you might be safe even if you allow them to stay on the floor for 1 minute.

Each of the foods was picked up after its allotted time on the floor and placed in a petri dish.

Bernhard said the object was to see whether colonies of bacteria grew in the dish within 24 hours.

"I can say only one thing," added Moin, who is going to veterinary school in the fall.

"This is really testimony to the great housekeeping at our school."

Still an open question for any scientist willing to take the challenge is the longstanding "kiss it up to God" rule.

(Blue Footed) Boobies

http://hellishhumor.com/booby.php
Boobies -We all love BOOBIES !

Why Americans are Fat

How lazy can you be to walk your dog from your jeep ? Now you know why America has a big problem with overweight people … they are lazy.

Eject! Eject! Eject!: SEEING THE UNSEEN, The Great Conspiracy Theory

http://www.ejectejecteject.com/archives/000140.html

The Worst Date Ever

Read this guy's story...

On May 18, after spending the night smoking pot and having sex with a prostitute, a 39-year-old Lake City man decided he was going to get a beer. Sounds like a wild way to start the weekend. Little did he know he'd end up digging a hole in his backyard to bury a body.

According to the police report, the woman stayed behind at the man's apartment to take a bath while the man walked to a nearby 7-Eleven, returning home 20 minutes later. The man noticed his bathroom door was still closed. He waited another 15 minutes before venturing in. Upon entering the bathroom, the man found the lifeless body of the 47-year-old prostitute. In a panic, he shook her and slapped her but got no response. Then he really freaked out.

The time line the man provided is fuzzy in the report, but he told police he stayed in his apartment for the next three days, drinking and contemplating what to do with the dead prostitute's body. At one point, he climbed out the window of his apartment and began digging a hole. Perhaps due to some epiphany or newfound respect for the woman, the man decided he was "doing the wrong thing," according to the report—so he clambered back inside and filled his bathtub with cold water. He placed the woman's body in the tub to prevent her from decomposing.

The despondent man walked back to the 7-Eleven, where he called his boss from a pay phone. The next morning, the man and his boss called the police and the medical examiner retrieved the waterlogged body. A toxicology report is pending—but it doesn't look like foul play.

According to SPD spokeswoman Renee Witt, "failure to report a death" is a misdemeanor in Washington State. However, police are holding off on charging the man because, Witt says, "Why add insult to injury? He admitted he picked up a prostitute [and] this woman ultimately died. At that time, it wasn't appropriate or prudent for the officers to... make an arrest or file charges." Witt says that the man wasn't charged with soliciting a prostitute because "it was kind of after the fact. A lot of misdemeanors we have to see happen."

What could possibly possess a sane person to keep a body in his home for days? According to Witt, "It sounds like... he was afraid and didn't know what to do and didn't have anyone to call. There may have been some communication barriers."

The medical examiner's office would not comment on the case, but said it expects the toxicology report to be finished in July.

"In 14 years of police work, I don't think I've ever heard of anything like this," Witt says.

Classically Liberal: Pride & Prejudice: Inside the mind of the bigot.

http://freestudents.blogspot.com/2007/06/pride-prejudice-inside-mind-of-bigot.html

MySpace, Second Life, and Twitter Are Doomed - Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/zd/20070613/tc_zd/209428;_ylt=AlhvQtAn6H8FG1l_ML8F8gxkM3wV

Nature is sexy… | haha.nu - a lifestyle blogzine

http://haha.nu/funny/nature-is-sexy

The ORIGINAL Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

http://home.nc.rr.com/tuco/looney/acme/acme.html
Wile E Coyote's shopping list.

The Good Atheist » Is Atheism a Religion?

http://thegoodatheist.net/religion/06/18/is-atheism-a-religion

License to Wed Trailer

A marriage counselor puts one couple through a series of relationship challenges during a the most grueling marriage preparation course ever.

Christi Nielsen | I'm Just About to Get Skinny

http://www.christinielsen.com/blog/about2getskinny/labels/rape.html

If you are a woman wearing a short skirt...

                           A woman with a short skirt must perpetually classify men out of the corner of her eye , and that is her hell.These are those who avert their gazes when they talk to her.These are scared or hard to get .There are those who look boldly at her thighs , the franklly sexual ; and those who steal looks slyly , the dirty young men .There are those who look only at her face , the ones that dont need her.
            Then there are the ones who look first at her face and then at her thighs , and for them she is a person first and a sexual object after that.

                  Those who look away can be seduced, the bold used , the sly humiliated , the respectful respected , and the last loved.All this is noted by her and decided without a word or even a glance in return, and she has known it all since childhood if she is a real woman.If she puts her coat over her knees , then she is waiting for something or somebody , or trying to make up her mind about some trouble ; in that case she does not need nor want his glances , and the man has known this since childhood if he is a real man.

The most disastrous attitude for a woman is : I need a man , but you're not good enough.Either don't be that anxious , or take what comes.

Life , Death and Friendship.

Life is simple .All you have to do is figure out the most probable outcomes of various courses of conduct, and then pick the most attractive troublesome .only if you want certainity does it become difficult , because that you cannot have .Sometimes it amounts to deciding which of the things you don't want to you should go ahead with.For example , each day a man may have to decide whether he would rather have his testicles cut off or his brain washed.

What to do about death ?Finish everything and then wait for it like a rotting log ? Or leave things unfinished and die with regrets ? the art of living is to walk the earth like a prince , scattering apples wherever you go .
The art of dying is to finsih your own aple just at the right moment to say "I am content , the rest are for you to enjoy at my wake "

Often the next step in a relationship is friendship.The essence of friendship is that there is no active Parental ego state under ordinary conditions.That is , friends do not criticize each other in a Parent-to-Child way , although they may give each other advice.But this advice is not fingershaking , it is rational, factual statement.A friend does not say ,(parentally) , "smoking pot is awful , and only degenreate people do it.I'm only telling you that as a friend".A real friend says , instead "You know you van get a rap of upto 20 years for doing that openly .I'd miss you if you were away that long"

Friends "accept " each other ."Accept" is one of those words most people use wityhout defining clearly , like "Togetherness " "sharing" hostility" " dependency" and "passive".

If you ask them what they mean , they say , "You know what I mean "and get angry if you don't know .The reason they get angry is that they don't know what they mean and they rely on you to know.If you say you don't , you have left them stranded , and so they get angry.The only wat to be sure you understand an abstract noun is to draw a diagram or picture of what you mean.
You don't have to be sensible to have a friend, providing you both believe in the same nonsense.
A freind is basically a more solid form of companion.Friends may eat together , live together , talk together , have fun together , and go out together.But in addition they stay together for life and help each other in time of need.

To paraphrase Proust , a friend is one who has the same illusions you have , so he/she won't hurt your feelings he/she finds out you have them, too.

Parting Shot : Nothing interferes with friendship like sex , and nothing interferes with sex like friendship.

Mumbai

Diffrent faces of Mumbai through a N-80 Camera phone

Moby-Porcelain

Moby porcelain video original


Great work from Moby ..hope your all apreciate it !

Also one of my most favourite songs.

Simply Red - So Not Over You

So Not Over You lyrics by Simply Red.

Don't know why I still slept on my side of the bed
The emptiness when you were gone kept ringing in my head
Told myself I really had to move along now
Stop regretting all the things I left unsaid, yeah yeah

So I tore up your letters
Took your picture off my wall
I deleted your number, it was too hard not to call
Felt a little better, told myself I'd be fine
Got to live for the good times up ahead, yeah yeah

[chorus]
'Cos everywhere I go
There's a love song that reminds me of you
And even though I knew I had to be strong
I was still not over you
'Cos I still believe and I could see how there's nothing left of you and me
That time is over
'Cos I'm so not over you

All my friends try to tell me better find somebody new
Why waste time being lonely when there's nothing left to lose'
Anything to get you out of my mind
I'm a fool if I thought I could forget
And I could not forget

[chorus]
'Cos everywhere I go
There's a love song that reminds me of you
And even though I knew I had to be strong
I was still not over you
'Cos I still believe and I could see how there's nothing left of you and me
That time is over
'Cos I'm so not over you

Now I found a way to keep you there beside me
To where my love won't be denied
I can only hope to keep you there and guide me
There's no more need to hide from all this pain inside
Chorus

So not over you
That time is over
'Cos I'm so not over you Not

FindMyDouble.com

http://www.findmydouble.com/

Dateless Wonder

     So , you have fallen in  love with her.

       Ho -Hum.Let me yawn magnificently and display my profound lack of interest and boredom.
Were you waiting for the right time ?
And while biding your time , was your mind filled with fantasies where you foresaw a lovely future with her , where you were a stud superstar who impaled her with your mighty staff -making her moan and beg for more , like the girls in one of those movies you watch but are ashamed to admit ?

      So , what now , once you had gathered enough juice in your family jewels .
Were you man enough to approach her , your true love ?
Were you man enough to say - I love you ?

      I know your problem.You say to your shrink " Hey Doc , I don't need Prozac , I need a girlfriend" .
Grow up kiddo , we've all been there.
True love , Ha ! you just don't fall in love with any girl on the street and then tell me it is true love.

        So , tell me then...What did happen ? What were the outcomes you envisioned ?Did you think she'd scream in delight when you declared your undying love for her ?
Did quiet tears of happiness roll down her 'Oh-so-soft-and-sweet' cheeks when you dropped down on your knees and proclaimed your everlasting love ?
Or was she the cool type, who simply smiled back and asked you "what took you so long , moron ?"

        Wait , Don't tell me , you also had a worst case scenario , in which she kneed you in the groin (which is why you wore a cup , just in case ), called the cops and got a restraining order and a court injunction to castrate you.
           Wait , don't surprise me now...even your worst case scenario had a silver lining.Just before the cops castrated you , she realized that she loved you all along and then  she came back to you and made you hers forever.
But No , Now she must suffer a little , you decide .You won't mace her off course  ,or cal the cops .You will hurt her by making her wait .Ah...Isn't revenge sweet ?

      Well now , what really happened ? Let me hazard a guess.
Your family jewels are intact , you probably never went to the slammer either.
She probably wasn't the kind of girl who'd knee every guy who proposed to her .Phew ! What a relief !

But she neither got elated ,nor did she have any tears of joy , did she ?Tell me honestly - wasn't the look on her face a look of utter confusion ?Why was she so uncomfortable when you told her that she was the only girl that you've ever loved ?Wasn't this the part where she was supposed to feel extremely special ?Then why was she squirming , honestly , tell me .
Did you even notice that she was squirming ? I bet you didn't .Why did she give you the lame excuse that she was already in a relationship with someone else.C'mon you already knew that it was a lie.After all, you have been stalking her for the last three months.

And now what ? why isn't she answering your calls ?She's probably got caller Id, that bitch !So what about those SMSes ? No reply ! Hmmm...makes you wonder doesn't it ?What about emails , voicemails , instant messages? Nope , no luck whatsoever.
Sheesh ! Not a single reply , even after you sent her pictures  of those cute and cuddly photogenic kittens and puppies.Man ! She has a lump of coal for a heart , don't you think ?

  Well, since you've asked , let me give the synopsis .Considering your worst case scenario, you haven't done too bad.No swollen balls , no cops , no jail , no restraining order , well you get my point don't you ?
But considering your goals , you my man , suck big time.

And pray tell me , why have you come to me ?Wait , let me guess again.You want a wise man's counsel.I laugh at your bad luck. Ha ha ha , because you have come to the man who was once known as the 'dateless wonder'.

First let me tell you this.It is a disclaimer.I cannot read minds .But I guess , and I do it well.So lets hazard a guess as to what might have gone in your true love's head on that fateful and eventful day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        There she was , walking , minding her own business.Her mind's at turmoil.She's a good girl at heart , but lately she's had wicked thoughts and she now feels guilty.

She's also worried about her future, her career , her finances , her love life (not necessarily in that order ).
 In short , she's just your average girl, or so she thinks .

  And then you pop out of the woodwork .She sees you fumble.Mental Alarms bells ring - AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA , AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA , AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA , AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA .

Too late.Her bitch shield is up now.Its fight or flight mode.Nothing you say will make her agree.

       Aah, but its only you...she  now relaxes a bit , lets her guard down a little.,..and then what ? And then she hears a pathetic "I love you ".If only you were less pathetic.

'Love? You love me? Why ? Why do you love me ? OHMYGODHOWDOIGETOUTOFTHISMESS ?'

Alarms bells start ringing again.
AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA , AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA , AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA , AAAAA-OOOOO-GAAAAA .
Panic sets in.

While you were fumbling through your three-page recitation of love , she was busy formulating an escape plan.
               You probably didn't notice it , but she was silently pleading you to stop.You would have understood , if only you read her eyes.It was embarrassing her.Her friends were snickering at her.She thought it was a prank , but slowly it dawned to her that it was not.Onlookers stared as they passed by.She didn't want any drama, no conflicts , and right now , if you read her eyes , you would see in them that the only thing she wanted was to disappear, but you are relentless.

        She gave you the first excuse that came to her mind.Not really .Her first excuse was that she was mourning because her cat morris died yesterday, but then she didn't have a cat , and you know that.

So is she in a relationship ?No , she feels horrible when she  lies , but she wants you to back-off respectfully-while still keeping your dignity in one piece.
But there you are , always missing the subtle hints.

           And then the calls, the Smses , the emails ( she's sick of those cutesy kittens )They irritate her , disrupt her , infuriate her and make her feel a deep sense hatred for you .

Here's a secret though.She's secretly flattered that someone out there was attracted towards her.Its not everyday that someone tells her that he loves her.

But here's the truth:She isn't feeling particularly attracted towards you.Sure , you think you are handsome (every one does) , rich hardworking and successful in your own way-but she doesn't feel the tingling in the small of her back whenever she sees you or when she thinks of you.
Her face does not flush when your near.When you touch -there is no spark.
There is zero chemistry-this she concludes after examining and analysing every interaction she has ever had with you .
In short , You do not make her feel -which is really important.

Ten years from now , she coldly calculates that if she still hasn't found true love -she might consider you.But as if now , she still has time on her side and there is still hope.

My dear and uninformed and uneducated friend .There is a way to find a way to a woman's heart.The way is difficult , convoluted and tricky  and you lose your way often.I'm not going to waste my time teaching you ways to win a woman's heart.Its not my battle anyway, but without attraction , she is bound to say no.

Son , luckily , you have come to the right person , if I think I know what you are about to do.I wouldn't recommend you taking the same path as I did for the same reasons.I was an escapist at that time , I realize that now.

Son, Swami PRabhupadananda was once called the 'Dateless wonder'.He too fell in love , then crashed and burned ,fled the country and became a monk in a country where he thought snake charmers and elephants roamed everywhere.
The dateless wonder would have advised you to take a similar path , to avoid heartache again, but I Swami Prabhupadanada have learnt a lot in the following years.I still talk in my american accent whenever I see someone from my native country-but I've changed.
Son , God may never approve my advice , but here's something painfully real- she'll never be yours.You've simply blown your chances by begging for love.But , there are plenty of fish in the ocean.So happy fishing  and may Lord Krshna be with you.Now chant hare rama hare krshna , hare hare krshna krshna ,rama rama krshna krshna, hare hare krshna krshna , rama rama krshna krshna...

Read this Before Taking that important decision ....

Before you make that big decision you may want to read this set of articles,
which will shed light on not only our decision-making blind spots and errors,but also
how to actually make great decisions.



Reams of research show that in general:

1) People assume when they decide on something and it turns out
  well that they made a good decisionówhen it easily could have
  been attributed to chance (luck).

2) People tend to overemphasize the importance of pain by about
   2.5:1 in decision making.(People may not need to feel great but
    they donít want to hurt at all.)

3) People rationalize their emotional decisions instead of making ra-
tional decisions.

4) People make their decisions emotionally when the answer to a
question or proposition isnít obvious.

5) People make their decisions impulsively,then stand by their impulse
as if the decision was made rationally.
 
6) People make their decisions based on their experience and not the
experience of the masses.

7) People make decisions based on the socioenvironmental frames
they put the decisions into.(A woman going to Planned Parent-hood
for counseling will get different advice than the woman
going to her conservative pastor.)

8) People tend to make decisions on their own instead of seeking the
counsel of numerous others who can give additional perspectives.

9) People are unaware of the enormous power of the actual words that
are used to ask the question,and how the phrasing can make an
enormous difference in the actual decision that is made.

10)People are unaware as to how the influence of specific questions
changes their minds unconsciously.(ìAre you sick of driving that
old junker?îversus ìAre you thinking of buying a new car?î)

11)People tend to avoid what they perceive as risky.

12)People tend to lack the skills to calculate the chances that events
will or wonít happen.

13)People tend to decide on the sure thing even when it doesnít make
real sense to do so.They will take a sure $100 instead of a 50ñ50
chance at $250,for example.)

14)People tend to make decisions without a solid understanding of
ìthe real-life likelihood of events.î(Read that as mathematics,sta-
tistics,and probability.)

Not only do most of us make lots of bad decisions,we also tend to
dramatically overrate our decision-making skills! We tend to remember
our good decisions and think weíre actually good at decision making.

But wait! It gets worse! We tend to overestimate everything about our-
selves from the income we earned last year to the grades we got in ele-
mentary school.Here are just a couple of examples of how people
perceive their judgment in the real world to be in contrast to how it
really is.

Ninety-six percent of all men rate their physical appearance as average
or better!

Ninety-four percent of all women rate their physical appearance as av-
erage or better!

What ís wrong with this picture? (Obviously only 51 percent are aver-
age or better.The other 49 percent are below average.)

Ninety-one percent of all business leaders believe they are good or
very good decision makers.

Eighty percent of businesses fail in the first four years.
Ninety percent of new products fail to make a profit.

What is wrong with this picture?!

Now,with these amazing facts behind us,it would seem that seeking
expert advice from your broker,your agent,your attorney,your therapist,
or your mom would be helpful (maybe),but donít get too excited until
you look at this:

Heres an example of how we tend to overrate expert advice:
About 20 percent of all stock mutual fund managers select stocks that
ultimately do better than the S&P 500 index,often called ìthe market.îIn
other words,only 20 percent of experts ,people paid millions of dollars
per year to beat the marketósucceed at doing so.Think about that.Given
reams of computer analysis,data,and information,a full 80 percent of the
worlds smartest professional investors cannot do better than the person
who claims to know nothing about the market and simply invests in the
500 companies in the S&P 500!
Why are these experts so poor at deciding what stocks to buy?
Past performance is not always an indicator of future results ...but
most experts still make investment decisions as though it is.
Most experts donít consider the factors that really will influence the
future. They believe their own publicity clips.

Millions of people buy lottery tickets every day.The lottery (like
Powerball) is one of the worst bets on the planet.The odds are 55,000,000
to 1 that you will loseóand,yes,eventually someone has to win,but letís
put those chances into perspective:If you have been struck by lightning 40
times or have died in 20 plane crashes then you might just be the person
to win the lotteryóthose are the same odds as winning the jackpot in the
Powerball game! The fact is that you arenít going to win the lottery and
neither am I.It is a terrible decision to buy a ticket.Just take your dollar
bill or $10 bill and burn it.Feel better? Ouch!

What about the easier lotto games? What about games where you
only have to match three numbers to win $500 for your measly $1 invest-
ment? From 000 to 999 there are 1,000 total numbers that can be drawn.
Your odds of winning therefore are 1 in 1,000.That means that on aver-
age for every $1,000 you spend on the lotto you will get returned $500.
You should get $1,000 for a winner but the government/lottery sponsor
is giving you $500.I donít know how much you earn,but a lot of people
make only $500 per week and itís worth considering that the govern-
ment,which regulates the lottery,is really extracting a ìstupid taxîfrom
those foolish enough to decide to play.Now,could you pick the winner
tonight in a 1 in 1,000 event and win the $500? Sure you could.Lots of
people will.But itís still a foolish decision to buy the ticket just because it
could happen.

BBC World - The Happiness Formula

http://www.bbcworld.com/Pages/ProgrammeMultiFeature.aspx?id=83
Our quest for happiness has just begun when we choose to accept the fact that we can choose to be happy or otherwise.

Words Are Not Enough...... ..

Words Are Not Enough...... ..




The words "I miss you" can not display


The depths of how I care.



The words "I want you" do not betray


The extent of what I dare.



The words "I need you" can not convey


The extent of my prayer.



The words "I love you" do not portray


The heights of my err.



Funny Mathematics

1. SSC + HSC + B.Tech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT
2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com
3. One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since 1896
4. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan
5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park
6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 minute song in Hindi movie
7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality +
own production company = Kajol
8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your wife's favorite serials
9. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega +Crorepati = SUPERSTAR
10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan +Talent = Abhishek Bachchan
11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan
12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda
13. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan
14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt
15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
16. 1 engagement + 2 weddings + 3 wedding songs + 400 relatives + 1 house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One Sooraj Barjataya film
17.1 software engineer + No Work = 20 forwarded mails ...

John Titor - Time Traveler

http://www.johntitor.com/

Automatic Flatterer

http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html
Feel Good , visit this site !

Hyperpersonal effect- How the net helps us lose inhibitions.

                                We tend to interact differently online.We tend to be more honest , more intimate .The term 'Hyperpersonal Effect ' coined by Joe Walther of michigan State University USA in 1996 , says that communicating by typing gives people time to construct their responses .It also frees them from worrying about how they look and sound , so they can focus exclusively on what they are saying .Without typical visual cues such as facial expressions and mannerisms , people can build more positive impressions of each other without being conflicted with the jarring reality that might put them off.online , all you can see is thier personality (real or projected , although some of  my friends might disagree on the existence of personality)

Online communicating can also encourage people to take risks , because there is always an opportunity simply to disappear if things become embarrassing or awkward .And while it is certainly easy to lie online , it turns out its even easier to tell the truth.

In 2002 study , Walther showed that people communicate online were more likely to disclose personal details about themselves .Experts believe that this is because people are shielded from disapproving facial expressions and awkward consequences .

Hyperpersonal effect is also  derogatorily termed as Cyberstreaking , because thats what people tend to do , strip themselves in front of total strangers, by writing about their feelings and actions and sexual orientations in their blog and god knows what else.(I may be guilty too )

Out of Tune with Zach (Lorrie Benedick)

Music had always been a big part of my life , so when I became a mother singing to my baby
came as naturally to me as kissing his sweet head.Everyday I would sing to Zachary :lullabies, nursery rhymes and oldies that my mother had sung to me.
We'd snuggle into our favourite chair , as I serenaded him , he would gazedeeply into my eyes , his tiny hand upon my skin .Zach loved it and would coo along with me
before he could even talk.

Then suddenly , at about the age of three , he stopped liking it .Each time I started singing he would cry.The lullabies and softer tunes would set him off.He'd wail loudly and atonally.
So I stopped.

But every few months or so , I'd try again , hoping against hope that it had just been a phase.No way.
               I was devasted .Never before had I made anyone cry because of my music.
Somedays this felt like the worst rejection I had ever known .He wasn't pushing away the music -he was pushing me away .His reaction stung, like a slap.

I should mention , however , that Zachary is mildly autistic .Although he is high
on the functioning scale , he has many challenges .One of the physical disorders Zach copes
with is" Hypersensitivity".This means that he hears , sees , feels, smells and tastes more
intensly than others do.For Example ,if a neighbour several houses down from us mows the lawn , Zach paces frantically around the house with his forearms over his ears until the
lawn is cut.

Naturally I used Zach's hypresensitive hearing to help rationalize his acute
reaction to my singing .As the years passed , though , Zach developed a love for pop music
, begging me to find rock-n-roll stations on the radio whenever we were in th car.That
music didn't seem to bother him .On the contrary ! The louder the better .He also invented
complex rythms and enjoyed lying on his back in the bathtub , his ears just under the
surface , repeating them at peak volume, over and over.

At bedtime I'd say , "Zachary , why don't you choose a song for us to sing?"
He'd held a rollicking rendition of "Old MacDonald" or a jazzy version of "eensy weensy
spider " but never the exquisite "The lion Sleeps tonight" or heaven forbid , "Hush ,
little baby ".
Once a year or so , I'd ask him why he cried when I sang , but the
answer was always the same :"I don't know"

Two years ago , on the eve of the Valentine's day , I was putting Zach , then
seven to bed. Talking about the next day when his school class would exchange cards.
He was very excited , but couldn't settle on sending just one "Mom you know , I really like
sandra but I also like Bettina"

I replied " Its okay to like a lot of different people, sweetheart"

"But Mom , " Zach protested " I want you to be my real valentine "

I was touched ."Zach" I answered "You will always be my valentine"

Without thinking , I statrd to sing one of my old favourite standards:
"My Funny valentine , sweet comic valentine , you make me smile with my heart"

I never made it to the second line.Zach buried his face in the pillow and started to cry.
Of course I stopped singing immediately , but I felt terrible .Wordlessly , I held him in
my arms and rocked him gently .After a while he stopped crying.

"Zachary" I said , "I want you to take as much time as you need , but try to tell me why
you cry when I sing to you "

We stayed quiet for a very long time , and then Zach quietly said "Mom , Its too
beautiful"

I had wrongly assumed that zachary's reaction was the result of his challenges , when it
was just my son being himself -and very much like me .A touching song on the car radio can
have me tearing up to a point where I have to pull over and wait until its done.That
elevated , choked up feeling can occur without warning : at a school play , while watching
an award show , or at night when my husband and I go in to look at our sleeping angel -our
sweet , sensitive son .

Why are you not married?

WHY ARE YOU NOT MARRIED?

Here are some comebacks:

You haven't asked yet.

I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

Because I just love hearing this question.

Just lucky, I guess.

It gives my mother something to live for.

My fiancée is awaiting his/her parole.

I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.

Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

It didn't seem worth a blood test.

I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

Why aren't you thin?

I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

Bonus reply for Single Mothers: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

Interview in Infosys (Software company)

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Kondesh Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I cannot invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know , these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments..It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative ..

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: He he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer : Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate : Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'versioncontrol', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: He he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. :-)) We look forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys :-)

Employment Ads

Between the lines of Employment Ads:

Advancement Opportunity

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Entry Level

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No Experience Necessary

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Administrative Assistant

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Upbeat Personalities

-Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug/alcohol rehab benefit within the first year

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-$20K a year job that requires a $100K a year wardrobe

Pleasant Telephone Manner

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