Once in her eight month , the doctor had shot her a look across her table.She was a different doctor, more empathetic.She said , "If you don't want this baby , I know plenty of people who do"
"I want it " she lied.
She's read classics.She's read Mills and Boons (some might say they are classics in their own respect , but let us not digress).
She knows what a strong woman , a heroine of a novel would do.
She knows how the plot is supposed to turn out.
Basically she has two choices.One , she could invest all her hopes for her own future in this ambiguous mass of tissue -this foetus , her child.My child , it was always my dream to climb to the stars.Now tears of joy spring at the sight of your overwhelming success.
The very thought made her sick , sick enough to retch , or maybe it was morning sickness.
Or two , she could abandon the baby and her husband and become really successful and really evil.Haw haw , she tried to initiate an evil guffaw , but failed.
The second option was far more attractive , but none of her heroines from her worn out novels hadn't done it.None of the real persons whom she knew had done it.And , though an attractive option , she really didn't believe in it.
What , then ? What choice was left her ?
Just like the heroines she had admired , she knew what had to be done.She had to be strong.Strong for her would be husband , strong for her in laws , strong for her mother , strong for her child , strong -for Herself.
Answers were not clear, but a path was hazily forming.The baby would come first, and then all her dreams.She would not abandon her dreams , neither her child.Somehow she would make it all work , somehow.
She often wondered if she was really lying when she said , I want it ?
She decided she was not.
So , once again , Azra looks at her swollen belly and decides to narrate once again.She's been telling her child stories.She's told it everything-her discovery of pregnancy , her confrontations , her confessions, her past , her present and her yet -undecided future.
She looked at the distended belly and said "I didn't lie " and smiled "I wanted you "
"I'll always love you , its a promise"
The End.
The End?! THE END?!? Wait a minute, what a rip off! You said you had a ten-page draft and we only got 4 and a half posts (yes, the other one was just half a post)! Where did the rest go?
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying the story's not rounded out nicely, I'm just wondering where the rest went.
haha...I got the same shock too...but I think Vik's got all the other parts still being edited. Don't rush him....
ReplyDeleteThis one looks like a rush job. Vik, you'll have to decide whether you want the story in past or present tense. And don't blame the keyboard.
Yup , thats the end.
ReplyDeleteThe story has a lot of potential , I can explore in many directions, but the story itself will lose track.So , sadly this is the end.
Btw, there were 7 entries , not 4 and a half.
ReplyDeleteI'm a pen and paper guy.My stories are written on paper.So a 10 page draft looks daubntingly huge on paper but dissappointingly small on wordpad.
It was confusing , because the story would alternate between first person and third person, present tense and past tense.
I hope it brought out the struggle and angst in azra ...
you mood killer you...
ReplyDeletethis story have so much potential... single unwed mum (that right?), you writing as a chick, you writing as a pregnant chick, the coat hanger abortion, the family issue, the gender issue, more of you writing as a chick.. come on, you! i haven't even warm my seat yet, don't take away my drink!
agree with you raknax, there are still the issues which she has to resolve.... and the long months of morning sickness, condemnations and ridicule she'll have to go through, conflicts with in-laws...(the works)...how she gets through all that would take a lot of research the actual situations that real people go through...e.g. you can find lots of examples to glean from in the Agony Aunt's page in the Sunday papers.
ReplyDeleteI feel good now...I'm responsible for killing so many moods...Yaay
ReplyDeleteI was in a bad mood after writing this piece. But now I feel good !
The story was a hard one to write.
The woman's point of view.
Phew !
And then , how and where do I end this story ?
Do I follow azra till she gives birth , or till she fulfills her obligations and her destiny or till her death itself?
So I decided to end it here, where she finds peace with herself keeping the baby.
I thought I'd fail miserably , why ?
Reason 1: I'm a dick.
Reason 2 : I have one. (Dick)
So , I Did do a lot of research , but then found out that this series was the least read of all my blogs.
Even my last disaster called the "cockroach saga " was read more than this.
So , I hastily brought and end to a never ending saga , because as you know , there is simply no point in flogging a dead horse.
But then , if I write a novella , I'll definitely explore all possibilities.
But , as of now , its time to move forward.
A note to myself:
ReplyDelete1) This is an interracial love story.
2)The girl is from gujarat , so godhra incident can be used.
3)The moral police and Bajrangi and his men and their ethnic cleansing story can be used.
4) and then , I can explore the situation of an unwed mother and her dreams of the future.
This note is for myself , so others can simply disregard it.
so the continuity of your stories are gonna based by both readership and comments?
ReplyDeletehave u ever consider the fact that this azra read have less replies than the cockroach saga is because we are holding our breath at the intelligence of the plot and waiting in quivering silence for the next read.
vikas. i'm not judging you becos i'm not qualify at all and don't take this the wrong way. but perseverance plays a big part in 'to be continued...' stories. the dead horse is just a matter of opinion.
that's just an assumption. what if there was a reader of yours, and that is WHAT IF, and he or she just happens to awfully busy and in between things, and then there were gazillion windows open on his or her computer because of:
ReplyDeletea. errands
b. office
c. emails
d. research
e. chat
and so and so forth
and the cockroach saga was long and WHAT IF since cockroaches really didn't matter but so that SUPPOSED person/persons just read couple of phrases at a time and logged in and logged out a lot of times because
a. multiply keeps logging off
b. boss keeps showing up
c. officemates / customers / friends / other people keep bothering
d. kept loosing track because too many windows are open on the computer
e. snack break / lunch break / toilet break / coffee break
f. computer went to sleep mode
and so and so forth
which, in conclusion resulted to an absurd number of clicks to your cockroach saga EVEN IF in actuality, and this is ONLY WHAT IF, that particular post was just read 1 time???
Hmm...You have a point there...
ReplyDelete