Loved ones

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. These are the
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything. It is
a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing
in the stockroom.

Remember, spend some time with your loved
ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Give time
to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious
moment.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away...

-George Carlin
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There is a need for people to cherish their moments together.One realizes this when it is truly too late .Time, as we know flows in one and only one direction...


"Its all a part of God's plan" Erika said consolingly.

"God's plan ? God's plan ? " Jacob was shaking

"What about Laura's plans ? What about my plans ? What about our plans ?"

There was bitterness as well as sadness in his tired voice.

"Who is God to plan our lives ?" he said breaking down and sobbing.

"Life's not fair , dear...'said Erika.

"I knew life is not fair , but did it have to be this cruel ?"

Jacob was defeated.He had lost out to someone he did not comprehend.Was it god , was it the devil , or simply the grim reaper ?
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Love does not happen to everyone,      (Ishq Hota nahin sabi ke liye )
it is made for those lucky fools,          (Yeh bana hain, Yeh bana hain )
who risk their hearts and                     (Kisi kis ke liye )
surrender their souls
Anon

Jacob did not believe in love.He said that we all needed a partner , not for love , not for attachment , but to be a witness to our own lives.A chronicler as a partner and  a partner as a chronicler, which would make his or her life worth having lived.

But then love happened.And then love punched him in the gut , and left him with a deep void in himself.

Laura , the love of his life , succumbed to injuries inflicted by a car crash.It was nobody's fault though.Laura had swerved away from a doe on the road and the car overturned and crashed into a pit.The car was found four days later , with Laura in the wreckage , hanging precariously onto life.
The best medical teams could only bring her back into a brief period of consciousness.Jacob was by her .Laura was frighteningly lucid for a car crash victim loaded with antibiotics and painkillers.
Laura loved poetry...

"My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night ;
but, ah, my foes , and , oh , my friends-
It gives a lovely light"...... Laura whispered in her feeble voice.

"Yes , It gives a lovely light...it was written by Edna St.Vincent Milay , wasn't it Laura ?" Jacob asked suppressing his tears.

"When this is all over , I want you to open this " Laura said , handing over a small crumpled piece of paper."Promise me , you will not open it a moment too early "
"Promise me " .

"I promise "...

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Because I could not stop for death-
He kindly stopped for me-
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality
Emily Dickinson

Death swooped over Laura silently at the dead of night.It was as if she had made a pact with the reaper himself.

'Take me away silently in the night,
when my lover sleeps
lost in the bosom of dreams,
and I shall come away with you ,
without a fight '

She went away silently,light as a whisper ,cold as a winter breeze .

A few months  later ...                                                                                                         

                 
Jacob had become a mere shell of his former self.
His self-destructive rage and anger threatened to destroy what was left of him and everything else that was around him.
His rage had become toxic , like a festering pus filled wound .

Jacob was angry at himself , at Laura , at everything and everyone .
George Carlin's words mocked at him , stinging him with barbs of his own past  mistakes.

If only he had driven laura home that day...
if only he had not fought that evening...
If only he had told her that he loved her like no one else could...

If only ...

The list of  "If onlys " went on...

Months had passed on .He had not found the necessary courage to mourn for her.He was a pragmatist.He truly believed that If he swallowed all the pain it would remain inside and one day simply die inside of him.
He had not found the necessary courage to open the chit Laura had given to him.
"When the time is right..." Laura had said .

And now the time had come.He knew he had to do the right thing by opening the chit.Jacob did not know how opening the chit would affect him .But it was time.

It was safely tucked away along with his valuables.
For such a small paper, it held in itself immense power, for Jacob was shivering as he held it.

Jacob opened it carefully .
It was written weakly in pencil.It was not an accusatory , but in fact it was dying wish , a stern order , a command given by Laura.


In it was one sentence.


The sentence caught him unawares.He stumbled on to his bed.He wished that he were mourning Laura.

It was time to mourn now , all alone by himself.Jacob thought of all the good times they had together.
They felt so young and happy .
He felt so alive.

It had been a very long time since Jacob cried , so long that he had forgotten how.He had not even wept when his mother died.
But he began to cry now , in painful , lurching sobs , and for the first time since he was a small boy , Jacob cried himself to sleep, hoping that he would wake up finding this world a little better.

Weakly written , it was a dying wish from laura, a gift  to Jacob.

In it was one sentence which said " You Will Forget Me"