Ice Queen

He's an astute observer of people.

He's usually never wrong.

He tells me, that I need to be loved by women,that I constantly crave their validation,  and so to gain that love and validation I will do anything they ask me.

I resented that.

I'm not like that.

I think.

I'm never sure...his eyes have a way of convincing you the absurdest of the lies he spouts out.

I tell him,"I don't even believe in love"

"So..who was she?", he asked.

"Who?",

"The one that broke your heart?",

"You won't believe me if I told you...", I said.

"Try me", he said.

"She was an imaginary woman of my creation...the perfect ice queen whose primary goal in life was to reject all men, while hoping and waiting for her Prince Charming."

I took a long breath before I could continue...I had to say it in a single breath, or else I would never be able to say it at all.

                       " I've placed this imaginary woman's mask on several women till date... and most of them have outright rejected it...but it fit one person very well, and it became her...no, not because she had all the qualities of my imaginary ice queen, but because I helped her bring it out slowly and gradually, until the mask got lost somewhere in the persona.

                          The objective of the entire exercise (futile as it may seem now) was to bring about a change in me (which it did in the end) but it had unintended(and tragic) consequences that it changed her as well.

                        I feel so ashamed of myself that I've stopped talking to her,distanced myself from her and hope that someday she might forgive me."

"It's too late to ask for forgiveness", he said,"she will hate you for the rest of her life".

"I know" I said.

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html
Yes Indeed...WTF happened to them?

The Maharishi Effect

The source of this article is a book called "This Book is Not Real" by Chris Campbell. (An excellent read, by the way)

'This Book is not Real' is a book which aims to unify all fields of science - all the way from spirituality to physics and from medicine to mass media and to glean  out and separate Reality from myth,illusion or maya.

Excerpt:

       "Regardless of how different they may appear from one another, every mind contains the pattern of the whole consciousness. And through that link we each have direct access to the entire pattern, in other words, we all have the power to change the hologram of our world. Scientific studies support these principles and have found that when people within a group share acommon experience of consciousness, the effects can be detected beyond the group itself. One example of this phenomenon is Transcendental Meditation (TM) and its effects on large populations. (Braden, 2007)

             Studies date back to the 60’s that show that when groups of people meditate on peace,and feel it throughout their bodies, it affects the environment, and people around them.This ‘theory’ has been proven over and over by top scientists and universities. It is what is called Transcendental Meditation, a technique where you keep your focus on one feeling that creates these results. 

                        Over 500 studies have been completed on the physiological, psychological, and sociological effects of the Maharishi Transcendental Meditation (‘TM’) and TM-Sidhi programs, making it perhaps the most intensively studied technology in the field of human development. These studies have been conducted at 210 different universities and research institutions in 27 countries, and articles have now appeared in more than 100 scientific journals. These studies have been gathered in Scientific Research on the Maharishi Transcendental Meditation and TM-Sidhi programs, Volumes 1-6,containing over 4,000 pages of scientific papers (TM.org, 2002)

                             The ‘Maharishi Effect’, which was named after Maharishi Mahesh Yogi about 50 years ago and states that the meditation of one person using correctly these TM techniques can affect about 99 people, according to their studies. Meaning, someone feeling extreme peace can calm about 99 people around them. Brain scans of unexpecting people in surrounding areas of meditations have shown this to be true. 

                        It was 1983 when Dr. Singh, the founder of TM.org and the creator of the TM-Sidhi programs assembled 7,000 trained meditators in Fairfield, Iowa for three weeks. During the three week long retreat there was a huge drop in violence and crime. These trained meditators were instructed to meditate solely on peace and to immerse themselves in nothing but peaceful thoughts. Everywhere the crime statistics dropped, as if a peaceful virus spread throughout the entire Earth.A global Maharishi effect was seen whereby conflict reduced worldwide by 30 percent and the effect was seen all over the world….

….We are convinced that we can create world peace by having a few groups, two to three, of 8,000.

Dr. Singh

                Another experiment done in the 1980’s was aimed for the war in Lebanon. This time only about 200 experienced meditators gathered in a facility near Lebanon. During the experiment, war deaths in Lebanon went down seventy-one percent, war injuries dropped sixty-eight percent, and the level of conflict stepped down to forty-eight percent.

                         Immediately after the experiment the violence rose again. When they stopped meditating, people fell back into their destructive habits.Studies show that EEG readings of people in the surrounding area have been affected by the groups from even 1,000 miles away! They also noticed that the brains of the people meditating and the people in the surrounding area produced more serotonin, the ‘happylove- peace chemical’. The serotonin levels rose and dropped in line with the times the meditators started and stopped. Low levels of serotonin is said to lead to aggression, depression, substance abuse, and crime. When the experiment was going on people were more peaceful and apt to be more optimistic. But, when the peace wasn’t in the area anymore they began to run old patterns and became more pessimistic. Somehow the meditators were able to raise the level of this chemical, and create peace all around them.

                   Studies all around the world prove this phenomenon over and over again. Even Washington DC got a taste of TM when Social Indicators Research predicted that an eight week long experiment with meditators would decrease violent crime in our country’s capital by 20 percent. They were close. During the eight-weeks, rape, murder, and violence all dropped by 23 percent. The odds of this happening coincidentally were calculated to being less than 2 in 1 billion. 

                David Edwards, a professor of government at the University of Texas in Austin says:“I think the claim can be plausibly made that the potential impact of this research exceeds that of any other ongoing social or psychological research program. It has survived a broader array ofstatistical tests than most research in the field of conflict resolution. This work and the theory thatinforms it deserve the most serious consideration by academics and policy makers alike.

                                        They concluded that if you took the square root of 1% of people in an area, that’s how many meditators it would take to affect that specific area. Claims have been made by many professionals in many different fields that since the square root of one percent of the entire Earth population is 8,000, that’s how many people it would take to create world peace."

Imagine! Meditation techniques like Sudarshan Kriya or Transcendental Meditation done correctly inducing peace in the society!

And proved by science!

Also see: Permanent Peace: How to Stop Terrorism and War — Now and Forever by Robert Oates. 

That book reveals 19 scientific studies that proved when groups of people meditate, the crime and violence in their areagoes down. 

Oates writes:

“ The basic idea is simple to state: Like ripples on a pond radiating outward from a pebble’s splash, ripples of orderliness and harmony

radiate outward from concentrated groups of meditation experts. And the evidence for this idea has been repeated and is statistically signifi

cant. Not only do signs of social disorder go down — such as violent crime, fires, traffic accidents, warfare, and terrorism — but signs of 

coherence and progress go up. Patent applications, for example, stock market levels, and economic indicators have all been shown to rise. ”

Matroska

I thought that I  dreamt that I remembered  dreaming of you, only to realize that I was still awake and a long night's sleep awaited me.

That Damn Smile (Did he just say that?)

The other day I saw this girl and for a moment I was confused.

No, she did not look like you.

For starters, she had bigger boobs.

But it was her smile .I can remember that smile anywhere.

That damn smile nearly killed me onetime.

I was watching a...ahem!...a movie where this girl was in a shower cabinet,doing what girls usually do in shower cabinets, and then she had to spoil it all by flashing a  smile.

I sat there dazed as the realisation slowly dawned upon me. She had your smile. 

That damn smile that nearly killed me onetime.

Were you her?

(That was a blasphemous notion...though kinky) 

Was she you?

(equally blasphemous and kinky)

No,she was not.

She had bigger boobs.

And baby lotion.

And perky music(among other perky things).

And extreme closeups.

And the rest of her assets that were so unlike yours.

So there I sat very confused,growing limper by the minute and my hand lotion drying up.

If she was not you, then did she steal your smile? 

Was she your doppelganger?

Holy shit! 

She smiled again...And I felt a part of me die inside.

That damn smile nearly killed me onetime.

She had your smile, the one that diffused evenly like ground coffee in hot water.

She had your smile,the one which suffused slowly and steeped into the violet sunsets.

She had your smile, which began like a candlelight and  gradually became brighter and brighter to a point where the entire person became radiant.

She had your smile,that which at completion gave a halo and a pair of angel wings made of snow white swan feathers.

she had that damn smile that nearly killed me onetime.

That's when I realised that halos and warm smiles could be faked.

Remind me never to trade a heart for a mere smile.

Now my self-flagellating guilt will not allow me to watch or enjoy that movie.The more I watch it, the more it reminds me of that smile.

Of that damn smile that nearly killed me onetime.

Your smile.

But I still have the...ahem! movie with me...just in case I need to remember that smile.

A picture's worth

A picture's worth is an experiment, and probably one of my last stories.

Attachment: A Pictures Worth.pdf

Great Expectations

There is no humanly comprehensible absolute truth out there, only differing viewpoints and theories.

 

George Carlin had his take and Scott Adams has his own. 

No matter how tongue-in-cheek or scientifically grounded something is it can never be the entire truth, but only a simplified model of reality.

It is a good model of reality only if it is of any use to you, if you can successfully apply it. Only you can decide whether anything is a good model.

 

So here we go again...From Scott Adams.

 

"Women believe that men are, in a sense, defective versions of women; Men believe that women are defective versions of men.

 (Although I don’t believe that either is defective)

 

Both genders are trapped in a delusion that their personal viewpoints are universal.

 

That viewpoint—that each gender is a defective version of the other—is the root of all misunderstandings.

 

Women define themselves by their relationships and men define themselves by whom they are helping.

Women believe value is created by sacrifice. If you are willing to give up your favorite activities to be with her, she will trust you.

 

If being with her is too easy for you, she will not trust you. You can accomplish your sacrifices symbolically at first, by leaving work early to buy flowers, canceling your softball game to make a date, that sort of thing.

 

Why does it seem like the rich and famous guys get all the women?

It is partly because the rich and famous are capable of making larger sacrifices. The average man might be sacrificing a night of television to be with a woman. The rich and famous man could be sacrificing a week in Tahiti. There is much to be said about the attraction of power and confidence exuded by a rich and powerful man, but capacity for sacrifice is the most important thing.

 

(I may not be rich or famous but Oh! I’ve sacrificed a lot- a lot of time and effort ...even money! More that I’d ever admit. But it was only because I believed she was worth every bit of it. 

I’d be ashamed if I did it for myself,if I had selfish reasons, but honestly I did it for her.)

 

Men believe value is created by accomplishment, and they have objectives for the women in their lives. If a woman meets the objectives, he assumes she loves him. If she fails to meet the objectives, he will assume she does not love him. The man assumes that if the woman loved him she would have tried harder and he always believes his objectives for her are reasonable.

 

What objectives?

The objectives are different for each man. Men rarely share these objectives because doing so is a recipe for disaster.

 

(Elsewhere in my blog I have used the term expectations instead of objectives. They both mean the same in the given context.  

Unfulfilled  or broken expectations (objectives), in my opinion, cause most of the heartbreaks. I may have been guilty of thinking that my expectations could be easily met by her, because others have met it often without much effort and often without my wanting or asking)

 

No woman would tolerate being given a set of goals.

 

(I know that because I've tried that. Never give a woman a list of things that you expect from her.She'll find it demeaning.

 Scott Adams tells you that women wouldn't tolerate it.

Of course that's true...Once you have told her…then...It is the loss of innocence…it is finally facing the naked truth …that things could have been better…but once acknowledged the knowledge hangs prominently like an ugly stain –an ugly stain of truth…which we all had pretended that it did not exist in the first place. There is a saying in Sanskrit which goes “Say the truth, or say what is sweet to hear. Do not say the truth that is bitter to swallow.”)

 

So what should a guy do if the woman in his life doesn’t meet these secret objectives? How can he get her to change?

 

He can’t.(Deep resounding evil maniacal laughter)

 

People don’t change to meet the objectives of other people. Men can be molded in small ways—clothing and haircuts and manners—because those things are not important to most men. Women can’t be changed at all!   

(Is Scott Adams implying that women value their individuality more than men? BUT I'm so glad to know that! It means that I don't have to wait anymore; because I know people are incapable of change .

Not just women, even Men cannot be changed where it matters to them.Try to make a chain smoker quit smoking and you’ll know)

 

The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations!

 

(At the end of the day, I’d choose someone with whom I can comfortably talk to for hours than a beautiful yet dumb bimbo who'd make me yawn after five minutes. in it for the long term.After years, beauty may fade, but the comfort factor can only increase between two people. I want to get old comfortably but not bored.)

 

Kenton Knepper, a world famous mentalist writes "There is a main difference between the way men and women face life: Men choose, but women decide.

Men concentrate on options. Women focus on the act of actually deciding. Since the role of men in society has been primarily the same, the role of a provider, men tend to walk straight paths, even when there is doubt or failure. Women face now the possibility of becoming providers and by doing so they usually reject their traditional role as mothers and supporters of men.

When men choose, they are choosing between one option and the other one, in a forward motion. Women always have the feeling of being forced to decide a completely different path in each choice, not options on the path. This generates a lot of tension and worry. Contemporary women are often wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Different from men, that "other side of the fence" is not another job or venture, but an entirely different way of life.

Women also tend to feel that they give too much and that their partners do not always reciprocate their investment. This is especially true in matters of communication and emotion.

 

And back to Scott Adams…

 

A woman needs to be told that you would sacrifice anything for her. A man needs to be told he is being useful. 

(It’s true…the worst you can make any man feel is to make him feel inconsequential.I remember a scene from the movie Young Victoria, where Prince Albert makes an earnest confession when he says “I wish to be of use to you”. 

That is how men show they love you…by being useful to you. Young Queen Victoria replies that she understands ,but not yet. Here they are candid about it and understand each other)

 

When the man or woman strays from that formula, the other loses trust. When trust is lost, communication falls apart.

Without trust, you can communicate only trivial things. If you try to communicate something important without a foundation of trust, you will be suspected of having a secret agenda. Your words will be analyzed for hidden meaning and your simple message will be clouded by suspicions.

 

How can I be more trusted?

You should lie about your talents and accomplishments, describing your victories in dismissive terms as if they were the result of luck. And you should exaggerate your flaws.

(I believe that being able to lie to a certain extent is necessary for a good relationship, especially if it is about not hurting them with insensitive honesty….No honey, you look fabulous in that dress, Of course , you can repair that engine all by yourself, No son…you are not a weirdo)

 

Isn't’t it better to be honest?

Honesty is like food. Both are necessary, but too much of either creates discomfort. When you downplay your accomplishments, you make people feel better about their own accomplishments. It is dishonest, but it is kind.

 

(My friend does that. He is incredibly talented and has accomplished a lot when you compare him to the rest of his peers. Yet no one is ever jealous of him. In all my years, I would be at awe at his towering intellect and genius, but never even once was jealous of him. He never allowed it to happen! He would constantly attribute his successes to luck than his efforts. He is kind and considerate in that way that he doesn’t rub his success in our collective faces. In many ways, I'm proud to have him as my friend and value his opinions.)

 

What about small talk?

You think casual conversation is a waste of time. Your problem is that you view conversation as a way to exchange information.

Conversation is more than the sum of the words. It is also a way of signaling the importance of another person by showing your willingness to give that person your rarest resource: time. It is a way of conveying respect. Conversation reminds us that we are part of a greater whole, connected in some way that transcends duty or bloodline or commerce.

Conversation can be many things, but it can never be useless.

 

(I always remember what Raknax wrote. He nailed it on the head when he wrote “Conversation is the King”. I remember that reading it made me think that I should have friends like him.)

 

A few other ingredients for successful social living:

Express gratitude. (Check)

Give more than is expected 

(I always give more than I receive. Why? Volume! Volume! Volume! )

Speak optimistically (check). 

Touch people (ok, this will be hard. I’m a little touchy on that issue). 

Remember names (check).

Don’t confuse flexibility with weakness

(This ones hard.When does flexibility become weakness? Is bending backwards a sign of flexibility or a weak spine?).

Don’t judge people by their mistakes; rather, judge them by how they respond to their mistakes (Ok, I’ll wait and watch).

Remember that your physical appearance is for the benefit of others (check).

Attend to your own basic needs first; otherwise you will not be useful to anyone else. (Check)

 

-heavily paraphrased from Scott Adams’  ‘God’s Debris’.

(Finally I’d like to add that I don’t want anyone to be compelled to fall in love with me, just because I love her.

It doesn’t matter whether I’ve loved you for 7 years or seventy.

 If you don’t love me, IT’S OK. 

It was just something that was not meant to be.

Who knows…maybe by not falling in love with me, you might have done me a favour.

I don’t want anyone to fall in love with me because I’ve blackmailed her…or because she’s the only one I’ve ever loved. Love is sometimes a one-way street.)

Gym Jesus

As you all know, I'm a fitness freak...

I have  helped my colleagues on the ship wherever they have required it.Many are thankful.

A funny thing happened on this ship.

I would work out quietly without disturbing or socializing with anyone.But then I noticed that all the other guys are following my exercise regime, studying and copying my moves!

Even without preaching , I had converted them.

I was Gym Jesus!

 

I have in the past written about fitness or weightloss.There I have written from an exclusively male perspective.

Finally I have come up with a broader perspective.

Simplest thing about fitness is :Most Men want big muscles.Most Women don't.

All the other goals are the same.Lesser body fat, more lean muscle,better body strength and coordination, enhanced immunity,better cognition skills, overall mental improvement etc.

After extensive research of some really big fat boring books (I even read the Merck Manual and several physiology textbooks that I borrowed from my cousin), I have developed a sureproof fitness program.

The only problem is that it canot be put down in a book.

Well, It can be, but then it will lose its efficacy.

So no dvds or infomercials either.(Thank god for that!)

This will be something like a intense five day course.

It will be one person at a time.(So at this point it is not a business model that will generate money.But it is a model geared for effectiveness)

In this five day course, you will have to spend an hour every day with me in my gym.My gym is just a room upstairs.It has one stationary cycle (which I don't use), one treadmill (which I don't use), one swiss ball, a few dumbbells,a punching bag (which I recommend that you don't use) and a pull up bar.

My gym is not the expensive kind that has an exorbitant yearly fee or lots of useless exercise equipment(some of which are downright damaging to your body.For example ; the smith machine, or the leg extension which will damage your knees more than high heels).

We will meet everyday for an hour in which I will come to know more about your fitness goals, your history, diet and body structure etc. 

You will exercise for roughly 20-25 mins and spend  the rest of the time interacting with me and learning a few cutting edge facts about exercise and nutrition.You will also unlearn many harmful beliefs that the general population harbours.As an added bonus, if requested, you will be taught holistic methods of fitness- which include subconscious activation of positive habits,deep relaxation techniques and meditation.Relax.The holistic methods are non-denominational.Keep your gods to yourself.

You will also learn a few boring things like how RMR is affected by aerobics and how to optimise your TDEE, which can be supplemented with actual proof.(charges apply)

Your exercise will be customised heavily based on your lifestyle,body composition,history and diet.You might be asked to  modify your diet based on your goals.

After five days, you no longer are required to come to my gym.You can do all the exercises in a regular gym or at home.I prefer you did them at home.

If required , you can visit after a month and review progress and fine tune the practices.

Now, you might want references.

I have none.

But I have experimented (I agree...it is a poor choice of words) with a few people and have had great success.

I've successfully helped two cousins lose weight with roughly 20 minutes of instruction.But that was possible because I  already knew to some extent all their history.

My mom has a problem of maintaining weight.She's been rapidly losing weight.You might think that is good, but she is distressed that none of clothes fit her now.

Well, I changed her fitness regime and now she finds her daily exercise more exciting than her old yoga routine, and she's maintained her weight for the past  year.

My dad has a weak back.So my primary goal was to strengthen his back, build lean muscle and lose fat.So far, he too has noted improvements in his back.Let me remind you.He is in his late fifties.His results will not be dramatic or quick.

Finally, I extensively experiment and keep tabs on myself.I like to safely change my body status.One month it is bulkier, the next month it is low fat.I keep tabs on what I eat and when and how.I recently discovered that my sugar cravings correspond to the days that I've worked out.On other days, I don't even feel like I want to eat that chocolate bar or drink that cola.

I never have had a craving for fast food.Truth be told, eating fast food makes me feel sick and sluggish that entire day.

I have a star on the mound of Luna on my right palm(I've studied Palmistry).

It is supposed to be a sign that I often punish myself. As far as exercising goes, I feel it is true.

Sometimes because I'm too overenthusuastic, I overexercise to the point I get sick for the next two days.

The U.S.Marines call it Over Traning Syndrome.It is a bodily reaction when the body goes into shock because it is overwhelmed by too my stress.

I do that sometimes - without realising it.For the next two days, I usually have a mild fever that goes away with simple rest.

I was briefly interested in Palmistry - until I read several books on it and realised that it was full of crap.

One ground rule is : No drugs.I've never studied drugs, legal or otherwise and using them without a professional's supervision is not something I'd recommend.

Apart from that I try every thing that I deem to be safe for me.I've even tried Brainwave entrainment technology.(results so far are inconclusive)

Well, I invite anyone interested to my "Gym Jesus Program of getting the fitness that you want". (Kinda corny name isn't it?)

As I want to test my theories and my accumulated knowledge on a wide variety of people, it will be complimentary to anyone willing to participate.

I'm promising results with twenty minutes or less of daily exercise that will leave you fresher than a daisy by the end of it.

And this is not an infomercial.

p.s. To all my detractors who tell me that I don't look like a bodybuilder.

Yes, you are right.I don't look like a classic bodybuilder.I don't strut around with a chest that can balance a glass of water or biceps that can be compared to pythons,boa constrictors or any other snakes.My thighs don't chafe and neither do my armpits.

When I'm fully clothed, I look like any regular garden variety Joe.

Three reasons:

1)I've deliberately under worked my pectorals,biceps,quadriceps and latissmus dorsii.I avoid all kinds of muscular hypertrophy in general.I don't want to end up looking like a collection of body parts pieced together.That being said, all bets are off once I take off my clothes. I do have definition and low body fat that other bodybuilders achieve by short term semi-starvation diets,intentional dehydration and abuse of metabolism catalysts like fat burners.Mine is a result of my exercise,diet and genetics.

2)I take no supplements, vitamin pills,no protein shakes,creatine powder,nitro kicks,fat burners,steroids and all other crap.I eat a regular low fat,moderate carbs and proteins and high fibre diet with lots of veggies and fruits.Salad is actually my favourite dish.My diet is actually very boring, because I'm one of those people who actually find eating a chore.The quicker and more efficient my meal is the better.

3)I don't want to look like the traditional body builder.

It is overkill.

That particular look is not how I define fitness.

Are you a man or a mouse? (Check out hitler cat!)

Its downright humiliating when you are being taught lessons about Manhood by a woman.

Apparently apart from cockroaches I'm petrified of dead animals.

Strangely enough,dead people don't faze me.I have a morbid fascination with death in human beings.In fact I experience cognitive dissociation and dispassion.When I see a dead body My mind is immediately off the dead body and upon imponderables pertaining to the soul,karma and other heavenly concepts.

Overfed cats pose a significant problem in urban areas.

A cat is a cat is a cat.

And that is that. (sorry I have a compulsion to make words rhyme, often for no reason)

No one or nothing can change their feline nature.Their keenly honed senses and instincts cannot be denied.Their feral nature cannot be denied.Even when fed, they have to hunt simply for the thrill of the hunt itself.

Our cats usually bring in dead mice and rats and on one occasion a dead bat!

Remember Hitler Cat?

 

Yeah! All cats are Hitler cats...

What I mean to say is, all cats are sadistic in nature.Believe me, I've had 8 cats so far.

My cats usually bring a mouse half-dead and then toy with it till death.Chubby, one of my cats,is usually the one with the brightest disposition amongst all,but when she catches something, then she gets transformed into a bloodthirsty monster!

The torture has to be made into a spectacle.She will wait with the half dead victim until we arrive and then she will lead us towards it.What happens next is a very grim danse macabre.She will repeatedly toy around with the captive and inflict just enough pain to keep it alive, and then finally when bored, simply eat its head(so that its really dead?), crunching and munching all the way leaving the rest of the body to us.

You should witness the twinkle in her eyes when she has caught something.She is proud, and she wants to show it.She usually stashes her victim in some prominent part of the house where it is easy to be found and then she'll lead us there.She has left dead mice on my bed,the kitchen table,the living room sofa and on every carpet of the house.

Of course, I cry for Mommy every time,

I'm scared of the mangled bodies, the headless corpses of rats and mice and other dead creatures.Stephen King's 'Pet Sematary' comes to mind.                                                What if the apparently dead mouse springs back alive for one last hurrah with yours truly?

Brrr!

Today, I found another dead mouse...but Mommy wouldn't help.She said that it was time I became a man.

I tried to explain genetics...Mom...an 'x' chromosome and a 'y' chromosome combines and results in a man...and then cultural and gender stereotypes are imposed unfairly on the child during vital stages of development and the child's true potential is lost...OH MOMMY MOMMY I DON'T WANNA DO IT...PLEASE MOMMY...PLEASE!

Nope! Didn't work.I can't melt her heart like I used to when I was ten.

Since it was in my room , I had to clean the mess...she said

...like a man, she added at the end.

Yes I did it.

It was scary but I threw the mouse out after poking it several times to confirm its death.

I was a man.

Yay! (is it manly to say Yay?)

But minutes later  I was screaming like a girl when Chubby carried the same dead mouse inside the house once again.

Shadow

"At any moment that you find yourself hesitating, or if at any moment you
find yourself putting off until tomorrow trying some new piece of behavior
that you could do today, or doing something you've done before, then all you
need to do is glance over your left shoulder and there will be a fleeting
shadow.

That shadow represents your death, and at any moment it
might step forward, place its hand on your shoulder and take you, so that
the act that you are presently engaged in might be your very last act and
therefore fully representative of you as your last act on this planet."

-Carlos Castaneda



One of the ways you can use this constructively is to understand that it is
indulgent to hesitate. When you hesitate, you are acting as though you are
immortal. And you, ladies and gentlemen, are not.



You don't even know the place and the hour of your death.



And so one thing you can do... to remind yourself that not to bother to
hesitate is not to act unprofessional... is to just suddenly glance over
your left shoulder and remember that death is standing there, and make death
your advisor. He or she will always tell you to do something representative
of your full potential as a person.

You can afford no less.


Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:09 UTC
Message-id: 713514223S121

My memories will haunt you

Those familiar footfalls that echo,
resound and reverberate,
quickening your pulse
are not mine, but they once were



My memories will haunt you...



Those endless susurrus of sweet nothings whispered,
as soft lips brush lightly
against your earlobes
are not mine, but they once were



My memories will haunt you
like a cold winter's breeze...
but I am your creation,
just a figment my dear!

a fragmented figment of your imagination



And those nimble fingers that trail
and trace your curves
and linger, so longingly linger
are not mine, but they once were



My memories will haunt you
like a cold winter's breeze
that touched you in places,
long forgotten out of existence



You reach out, arms outstretched
to touch, to hold,to surrender
But I fade away, rendered to wisps of past memories
and imaginings long forgotten



And My memories will haunt you
like a cold winter's breeze
that touched you in places, long forgotten out of existence
and surprise you with a shiver and a smile



And those caresses that tickle and make you blush,
those gentle tweaks that makes you flush
and shudder, Ah! Those wonderful guilty pleasures
memories that you still treasure
dissolve and crumble as you wake up...

and all you are left is with my memories

and my memories will haunt you
like a cold winter's breeze









p.s. I miss you too.

The Best Romances.

 "The best romances are the ones you never had"

The Obligatory Goodbye Post

Hi guys

This is the obligatory Goodbye post.

I'll be joining tomorrow in singapore.

This time , I'm sure I'll not be able to post or read your stuff or generally interact with you for almost six month.(I can see a few of you are letting go a sigh of relief )

You know what my biggest fear is ?

It's that I'll be forgotten when I come back.

It happens.I'm guilty of forgetting too.But I don't want to be forgotten.

So do keep in touch...

I'll ask KCG to post my ship's email Id...

I'd be happy to read your stuff on board too.

Goodbye.

Vikas

A volley of SMSs is all you get.

I confess(like I've done before)
Every time....every single time
I get afraid, very afraid
But there you go expecting and get disappointed
And then you expect to be disappointed
Its not you , its me its true
I feel unworthy , even to be next to you
But you wield the power , to transmute
To heal and make forget
And having done all that
You expect and get disappointed
and then you expect to be disappointed
But forgive this heart
It pounds the drums of doom,
wildly, shaking me up
The more I think of it the weaker I get
I'm afraid I can't call you...because I'm afraid
Please consider my heart and what it goes through
The more I think of it , the weaker I get ,

So don't wait for me to call ,
Because In the end,
           A volley of SMSs is all you get.

I weel dreenk your blaad !

How does one walk against gale force winds at sea ?
Watch and learn.
First , you grit your teeth.(like this)
Then you clench your jaw(like this)
Now muster up the most manly expression on your salt chapped leathery mug ,replete with a masculine grimace of masochistc pleasurepain (like this)
Now you are ready .
The rest is really simple.
Pray to whoever you want to protect you from the gusts of wind that knock you off your feet.Pray that you are not swept crashing  overboard by a giant wave , never to be found again.
Pray once more and hold on to something solid with a rigor mortis grip , and never let go.
And then trudge ahead grudgingly , pushing and fighting against an invisible barrier made out of intangible air, swearing uselessly at the winds for howling past you like screaming banshees out of hell .
It's that easy.
Trust me.
I know.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WEAK MORTAL FOOL !

HOW DARE YOU EMPTY YOUR INNARDS IN MY PRESENCE ?

Ah ! the perverse pleasure of seeing someone heave and retch and puke his guts out and then gasp for air.

THY WEAKNESS DISGUSTS ME !

I WEEL DREENK YOUR BLAAD ! BWAHAHAHA !

Ah ! the immense feeling of relative superiority you feel at that instant...

Every ship has six degrees of freedom when freely afloat at sea.
They are :- Rolling, pitching , surging, swaying,yawing, heaving.Let us collectively call them rollingpitching for the sake of ease.

A ship undergoes all these six types of motions  when out at sea, in varying degrees of severity depending on the wind , waves and swell.

When the weather goes bad at sea two things happen.
1)The ship rolls and pitches in a degree that is directly proportional to    the inclemency of the weather.
2)People get seasick.

                                              It takes a lot to get a seafarer sick.
Your everyday garden variety rollingpitching will not get him seasick .He is used to that sort of thing.Take the inclemency a notch or two up (Visualise "The Perfect Storm") and then see the fun.

("Sick as a seasick seafarer ,sick as a seasick seafarer".... say that ten times very quickly )

                                     A family of lows(low pressure areas) loom north of us nearly 300 miles away.The resultant effect is huge 20 foot waves and swells relentlessly tossing the ship like a weightless ragdoll.
My colleague, the seasick seafarer, the poor fella , has to keep his navigational watch on bridge for four hours , and the ship is rollingpitching helplessly at the mercy of neptune's fury.
"Vikas , dont talk to me , dont even look at me " he says , looking miserably spent , awfully wasted
"Vikas, dont even look out, I can't ...OOooorrghhh...AAaaaarrgghhh....hwaaaack gaaack"(Thats the best I could capture the sound of retching)
And then he covered his mouth with both his hands and ran towards the nearest toilet to empty out his stomach juices and half digested food .
Poor guy .
I felt pity & revulsion at the same time.

Me ? I thought ...I'm different.
I belong to the sea as she belongs to me.

Forever , made for each other.

I 've been out at sea since I was an infant(I embarked on my maiden voyage was when I was 3 months old , I'm told, where I was yanked onboard by my hair by the boatswain, when  he nearly lost his grip on me as the ship had unexpectedly rolled at anchor).

       The proof of my seaworthiness in my salty bones and rusty blood  & sea chapped leathery skin (Which I moisturize daily ).
                            In fact , my parents like to remind me every once in a while (much to my embarrassment) that I was conceived out at sea , somewhere near Romania.( No wonder I aIways feel like saying I weeel Dreeenk Your Blaaad ! Bwahahaha !)

                                         Romania ... Dad winks at me repeatedly when he tells his version of the story.The wintery chilly romance (wink , wink), the lonely lonely locales(wink, wink)..., the splendidness of sensual isolation (wink, wink, wink)...  
 DAD ! Stop winking ...I GET IT, I GET IT !
You and mom , mom and you , I GET IT !  
(God ,  don't make me visualize it and be traumatized for the rest of my life)
                     Mom has her own version.She goes into nostalgia mode. Mom's eyes go misty and glaze over.They go blind to the present and open the windows to the past.
                          Memories of the first sight of snow, memories of walking on slippery ice , wearing long johns and layers of sweaters, silly snow boots,slipping and falling hard and laughingcrying at the same time, memories of her first snow fight, the taste of snow...the rambunctiousness and the  warm hospitality of the rosy cheeked romanians,how they liked her bindi, and how they all sang their favourite raj kapoor hindi song...

             Although these shoes are japani...
              this pantaloon englishstani...
             this red hat that is roosi...
             My heart remains hindoostani...
             Phir bhi dil hai hindoostani...
             Phir bhi dil hai hindoostani.

Some memories are meant to be forever.

Perhaps it was their stories that  laid the foundation for my untethered life , my quest to find solace in neptune's abode.
I can only surmise...
             
The proof is in the pudding.
Here's some pudding.
 When the weather goes bad , two things hapen to me
1) If the ship rolls I get sleepy.(possibly due to natal memories of the soothing rocking and rolling)
2)If the ship pitches I get ravenously hungry.(I don't know why).I eat a lot. A  LOT !
Its physics actually.
The free surface effect of an empty tank  is large and potentially destructive.When you fill up the tank with ballast or cargo , the free surface effect becomes nil.
So this is what I do. I fill up my tank of a stomach to its bursting limit when the ship begins its danse macabre of rollingpitching and then watch the sea in her various moods .

                                                           So today , when the ship was rollingpitching , like a big bucking bronco out of control , I just made sure that I had a heavy meal (today we had chinese noodles and biryani) so that I can enjoy the ride for the next four hours.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I up and realized the malleable nature of dreams...the subtle ways in which they are altered by external factors.
The ship was rollingpitching violently , shudderring and groaning and fluttering in the most  unhuman ways, and there I was asleep and dreaming  and knowing that I was dreaming (it's called lucid dreaming dumbo !)
As the ship pitched violently , In my dream our ship had capsized (Much like in the movie posiedon) and I noted sadly that I did not panic.My first reaction as the ship capsized was to grab a lifejacket and head for high ground , in a totally calm and detached manner.
What was weird was , I always thought I'd panic in such situations, maybe even shit in my pants.I don't.I'm surprised .I'm impressed.

I guess I don't really know myself as well as I think I do.
But then , who really does ?

Read and Weep !

Women tell us that their ideal man is loyal and solid,spiritual, good-humored, romantic, caring and sensitive, and
committed to family values. But if women truly select such men, why are caring, romantic-minded men routinely
dumped for apparent losers and showboat guys who couldn’t care less about the prized women they’re dating?
Every man, of every race, color, creed, height, and financial status, has the same dream: There is a special
person out there. She is beautiful and good, the kind of person who inspires you to your very best, so you can fight
all the battles, right all the wrongs. It’s destiny. There’s a magical moment when you know that she is for you, and you
for her. And then you live happily ever after, with a batch of kids and a house like a small patch of heaven.

Reality, however, is profoundly different from romantic fantasy. Today there are any number of obstacles
standing between you and the woman you are interested in.
There are advantages and disadvantages to every possible factor: appearance, personality, race, height, popularity,
financial status, social status. The list goes on and on with factors people never state openly.(Most of these factors are subconscious)
Have you ever gotten up enough nerve to call or talk to a beautiful, interesting woman only to be completely
rejected for an unknown reason?
It’s not about confidence. Consider one study on race.
Three people-- a white man, an Asian woman, and a Japanese man were seeking romance in Tokyo, so they
posted personal ads seeking romance in the Tokyo Classified Ads, Japan’s largest free circulation publication. Within a
few weeks, the Asian woman received close to two hundred replies to her personal ad, from men of all races. The white
man received about 100 replies from interested Japanese women. The Japanese man received only two replies, both
from men who had mistaken his name for a woman’s name.
So much for the Gaijin Theory !
Another study was done on height. There was an American TV special where a news crew performed a kind of
poll to see how women might view height as a romantic factor. The news crew lined up about 10 men of varying
height, and they put them behind a double mirror, where they could be viewed by a parade of passing women. Because of
the double mirror, the men could see only reflections of themselves, while the women could see each of the men
clearly.
The news crew gave the women false information about each man behind the glass. For example, they told the
women that certain men were doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, writers, and had various occupations. They
even gave the women false personality profiles of the men.
For example, they pretended one man was a good cook who loved kids and enjoyed gardening, while another loved
karate, hated kids, and ate Chinese food a lot.
Then the news crew polled the women. They asked
the women which of the men they would be interested in as possible boyfriends. The results of their poll showed that in
America, the men under 167 cm (i.e. 5 ft. 6 inches) were never chosen as boyfriends, even if they were portrayed as
millionaires with outstanding personalities.(I'm a modest 5 ft 9 inches, i.e I'm five feet tall and nine inches long)
Even when a woman says that she consciouly doesn't have such criteria , subconsciously she will.Some women like bad boys, some like married men, some like them black , some hate black , some are into gays , and some daddy's little girls are looking for a surrogate father figure.
I bet the same goes for men too.
Sadly, there’s an old theory that comes to mind: the more advanced the information technology, the more openly
short height in men and obesity in women are detested.

Promise

Here is the truth.
To live is to fight, for this world is but a hurricane of challenges all aimed at you.
If it ever becomes too much, if you get down on your life, you will look for encouragement.
And you will not find it.

Everyone puts on the appearance that they want the best for you, that they want you to succeed.
But in reality, the thing they least want is you to succeed.
They want you to fail!
When you start to change your life, people will notice it.
They will not like it. We all get used to placing people in certain 'categories'. You're showing them that there is more to you than they thought. That instead of letting life define you, you are defining life yourself. You're literally fighting for life and this makes them uncomfortable because they didn't (and once they realize it, they know it is too late!).

 
Endure. For it is the same for 99% of the people, they get grounded up into comformity and become bewildered as their lives become more and more joyless. They will feel threatened by you. You may even want to stop your metamorphosis by how uncomfortable it is to others you knew and even for yourself.
 But those who stop can never realize their dreams and so never can be truly who they are.
The more successful you become in life, the more and more people will despise you. No one despises the innocent Nice Girl who happily takes orders. But everyone envies the one who knows what she wants and takes it.
All your married friends... they want you to fail. They will whisper in your ear that you should do like they did.
All your friends... they want you to fail. They will confer to you that you ought to shrug off these 'ideas' of yours. "Live like us!" they will tell you.
Most people remain static all their lives. They do not change and cannot change. They are basically the same now as they were five years from now.
But YOU are totally different, for now you have improved and refined yourself while they stayed the same in their vaporous habits.

 Imagine they are gathering in a circle around you and your life. They are all taking bets on when you will stop and fail. And when you do, they will let out a sigh of relief and say, "Thank goodness!"

People do not want you to succeed, especially people you've known your entire life. They want you to stay the same or fail.
Their lives can only succeed by seeing you fail.
For nothing can overtake the power of Endurance!
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated failures.
Endurance alone is power ultimate.
You and I have come a long way...
Our journey has just reached the crossroads of tough decisions and some hard ones have to be made.
These decisions will hurt you and your loved ones.
But it is only temporary.
You are in it for the long run.
A life just begun living , with miles to go, many milestones to cross.
So endure.
We are more than the sum of our parts.
We are the sum of our endurance.
And promise me that  we will not let others define us any longer.

Male Bonding:Yellow Monkey

Fact :Yellow Monkey exists in reality .It is a small bar situated in Yosu , South Korea.Try Googling it sometime.
          No yellow monkeys were harmed during the making of this post.

Fact: The Author does not smoke.Hates it amongst other things.

Fact:The Author is a self confessed compulsive liar.This is true, If you choose to believe it.

Fact:All the above are true ,
          depending on what reality you choose to accept.
           It's your drug of choice.
          The blue pill or the red pill.
           It's your drug of choice, your choice of reality.

So here we go again ...

The thing I most hate about alcohol is the company I have to endure.

Give a drunk a sympathetic ear and he'll tear it off and keep it for himself , my uncle used to say.

No , not really . My uncle said something in the lines of ' give a drunk a sympathetic ear and he'll bore you to tears'.

My uncle wasn't much of a writer, or a thinker .
Not much of anything really.
He died recently.
I hate him for what he did to his family.

As I was saying 'give a drunk a sympathetic ear and he'll tear it off and keep it for himself'.

(I may not be much of a writer or a thinker or much of anything , but  I wont be dying of liver cirrhosis and abandoning my family,at least).

Open the inebriated pandora's box at your own risk.
The outpour results in a ridiculous deluge.
Accomplishments-real and imagined , regrets-for things done and not done , usually not done , rage against slights and offences when there were none, empty boasts stacked upon a pack of lies- all come out of the previously constipated , now alcohol laxated sphincter of the mind .

But this is where real male bonding takes place.
But this is where macho men break down and weep , hug each other and exchange' I love you man' s with each other and mean it .
As the old joke goes , drinking makes you talk more , weep , feel bloated , drive badly, argue pointlessly etc....
i.e it makes you a woman.

So why do men enjoy such routine emasculation ?

I don't know.But I hate the entire experience.

What I hate about alcohol is the loss of control: physical and mental.I hate not being in control of myself and being  under someone else's influence.

So I do what I best know.
I fight .
I fight really hard to regain control over my motor system , my senses and my impulses - effectively ruining the intended effect of intoxication.

So there we are , me and him , in the Yellow Monkey.
That's the name of the lounge bar .It was the strange name that  made us venture into this place.It is slightly upmarket.(No yellow monkeys to be found anywhere.)The clientele are wearing buisiness suits and stylish blazers and everyone looks like he or she has had a facial , manicure and pedicure recently.
We on the other hand are wearing our standard jeans & T-shirt combos, are un-shaven , un-combed , possibly smelling bad: like the bourgeois  crap we are.
                                         We are the only foriegners there , the odd couple - a self professed teetotaler and a self confessed alcohol abuser ,  seated on a comfy lounging sofa overlooking the busy streets , busy smoking and drinking ~ imbibing one poison after the other and spitting out pure venom tinged with bittersweet nostalgia.
The world has betrayed , hurt and deceived us many times and therefore we imbibe large amounts of noxious fermented liquids that make us giddy .
This is how we get back at the unjust and uncaring world.
Up yours Universe ! Yeah !

Its cold.
               My hands are so cold and numb that I wince and fumble every time I urinate.

I notice I've got goosebumps all over.Dotted for pleasure ;)

My life is a transient one , in a constant state of flux.A few days ago it was so hot , humid and sticky that you had peel your dick off your balls(if you had one) before taking a leak.But here it is so cold that it has been many days since my last hard-on and then there's that famous shrinkage...No one will believe what a whopper I've got thanks to shrinkage !

George Costanza was right .
You never want to get caught with your pants down when you've got shrinkage.

                                               Yet we see brave (vain ? fashion conscious?) young women in impossibly short skirts and almost nothing else (with that I mean 'No stockings').Here we are wearing three layers of winter wear and still shivering miserably and there they are : unflinching and unusually comfortable.

The drunk mind is the devil's workshop  .Also an idle mind ,the crazy mind, the overly ambitious mind and so on.
It seems that the devils sets up her workshop everywhere possible.
(What ? You think the devil is a man ?Think Again. God on the other hand is a man.If he were a woman , all the men in the world would have been destroyed long long ago , leaving only asexually reproducing women ,  using mitosis and meiosis to proliferate)

I have to remind you ,my friend and I are LUI.( Lounging Under Influence).
(I'm also WUI, i.e Writing ...)
It is certainly not a crime , but sometimes the devils workshop in the intoxicated mind creates strange concoctions of weird hormones and chemicals that tend to give to imbiber what they call ' liquid courage'.
My friend is almost out of control and I am fighting to gain some of it.
He's staring at her  bare thighs while shivering.
She is wearing an impossibly high skirt , has an anime doll face that looks deadly cute.She's sitting in a corner drinking what I believe to be Steaming Hot Cocoa and minding her own business .
My friends eyes were following her all the way from outside .She is not even wearing a coat , he remarks .
An evil grin creeps slowly across his face .(No doubt , he's under the influence of the devil).He whispers to methat he has some questions for her and that he will go to her and feel her thighs and find out if those yummy thighs are generating any unusual amount of heat which enables her to be comfortably warm in such cold climes.

I'm afraid he'll actually do it.
And get beaten .
Korea's national sport is Tae-Kwon-Do.
The last thing he'd want is to molest a tae-kwon-do expert and get knocked out by a roundhouse kick to his alcohol soaked head...
But lucky for him,he wont feel a thing for he's comfortably numb.(and dumb ?)

But he'll get me beaten up too , I'm afraid.
I'm not that numb that I wont feel a thing.
And I don't want to be beaten up nothing.
I didn't eve tease nobody.
Atleast let me feel her warm thighs if you are going to beat me up.(She does have a great pair of legs , worthy of showing off in whatever weather she feels like showing it off) (Atleast Give me something if your'e going to beat me up !)

So I'd rather run away and live another day.Die a hero , or live as a coward...many men have come across this rubicon that decided their self worth , character , their future , their everything...

A 100 watt bulb flashes on top of my head. TING !
That's not the sound of the bulb.That's actually a toaster I'm using to make my toast .It's smeared with peanut butter and jelly fish.mmmmmm.....yummy.

As the bulb flashed , I knew what I had to do to avert a potential disaster.

"Quick ! Yellow Monkey ! " I said pointing nowhere in particular.
Alcohol is a depressant.It took him some time to follow what I said.
He slowly turned his head towards where I pointed .
"Huh ! Wh-What , where...?!" he said.
"You gotta be quick man .You just missed it."
"Huh , You shitting me man ?, I'm nosh thasshh drunk "
"Yeah sure ...Whoa , look at that !, There it is ! " I pointed elsewhere...
He turned slowly"Wh-where...?!?!"

While his eyes were off her , I had to do something to avert the crisis.

I knew I'd hate myself for what I was going to do next,but it was for everyone's best.I'm sure she'd forgive me if she knew the circumstances.I'm sure she knows I'm a decent man acting under unusual & dire circumstances .
I'm sure she'll like for who I really am.(Tell me , who's more drunk , me or my friend ?)

 l positioned myself in her line of sight and locked my eyes onto hers.(It was the devil making me do it, I swear).

I made a clucking sound , grabbing her attention.

She saw me see her .

I had to act fast.
I clucked again , making sure I got her full attention.
I gave her an exaggerated wink , and mouthed silently " YOU AND ME GIRL ,YOU AND ME " and made  silly pouty smooching faces at her as I  took a huge swig of beer and grinned lasciviously.

Please God (Devil?) , let this work ...Let this work...

Sure enough , she got up , her face filled with disgust ,  left in a huff.

Whew !

"Hey, hey She's leaving , she's leaving ..." My friend said ,"I had sho-o-o-o many quessshuns" he slurred.
"I'm sure you did .Hey ! Want another beer ? Its on me !"

"Hey , where's the yellow monkey ?" he asked , still remembering.
"I think it was the Yellow monkey which made her leave " I said  trying hard not to smile.

Why Intelligent People Tend To Be Unhappy

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

- Ernest Hemingway, author and journalist, Nobel laureate (1899-1961)




Hemingway, who took his own life in 1961, knew his share of both intelligent people and of unhappiness. He lived through two world wars, the Great Depression, four wives and an unknown number of failed romantic relationships, none of which would help him to develop happiness if he knew how.


As Hemingway's quote was based on his life experience, I will base the following speculation on both my personal and my professional experience as a sociologist. Not enough study exists to quote on this subject.


Western society is not set up to nurture intelligent children and adults, the way it dotes over athletes and sports figures, especially the outstanding ones. While we have the odd notable personality such as Albert Einstein, we also have many extremely intelligent people working in occupations that are considered among the lowliest, as may be attested by a review of the membership lists of Mensa (the club for the top two percent on intelligence scales).


Education systems in countries whose primary interest is in wealth accumulation encourage heroes in movies, war and sports, but not in intellectual development. Super intelligent people manage, but few reach the top of the business or social ladder.


Children develop along four streams: intellectual, physical, emotional (psychological) and social. In classrooms, the smartest kids tend to be left out of more activities by other children than they are included in. They are "odd," they are the geeks, they are social outsiders. In other words, they do not develop socially as well as they may develop intellectually or even physically where opportunities may exist for more progress.


Their emotional development, characterized by their ability to cope with risky or stressful situations, especially over long periods of time, also lags behind that of the average person.


Adults tend to believe that intelligent kids can deal with anything because they are intellectually superior. This inevitably includes situations where the intelligent kids have neither knowledge nor skills to support their experience. They go through the tough times alone. Adults don't understand that they need help and other kids don't want to associate with kids the social leaders say are outsiders.


As a result we have many highly intelligent people whose social development progresses much slower than that of most people and they have trouble coping with the stressors of life that present themselves to everyone. It should come as no surprise that the vast majority of prison inmates are socially and emotionally underdeveloped or maldeveloped and a larger than average percentage of them are more intelligent than the norm.


Western society provides the ideal incubator for social misfits and those with emotional coping problems. When it comes to happiness, people who are socially inept and who have trouble coping emotionally with the exigencies of life would not be among those you should expect to be happy.


This may be changing in the 21st century as the geeks gain recognition as people with great potential, especially as people who might make their fortune in the world of high technology. Geeks may be more socially accepted than in the past, but unless they receive more assistance with their social and emotional development, most are destined to be unhappy as they mature in the world of adults.


People with high intelligence, be they children or adults, still rank as social outsiders in most situations, including their skills to be good mates and parents.


Moreover, they tend to see more of the tragedy in the communities and countries they live in, and in the world, than the average person whose primary source of news and information is comedy shows on television. Tragedy is easier to find than compassion, even though compassion likely exists in greater proportion in most communities.

The route to better recall:Pain is good:Blogging makes you smarter !

Muddled Thinking ?
Faulty Memory ?
Try this surprising solution:Grab a pen , and put down your thoughts and feelings about a difficult experience from your past, suggest researchers Kitty Klein , and Adrien boals from North carolina State University in Raleigh.
The researchers asked 35 undergraduates to write about an unpleasant , highly emotional experience while another 36 students wrote about something dull.Afterward , the first group scored consistently higher than the second on tests of working memory - the brainpower we use for everything from calculating the grocery bill to finding the car keys.
Why it works :We all tend to avoid thinking about painful experiences , and that mental effort , even when mostly unconscious , ties up our working memory.

This writing exercise can help you free up more of your brainpower.

Delve Deeply:Write about your deepest emotions and thought.

Prepare for an emotional reaction:You  may feel down for a few days afterwards.

Expect immediate and longterm results :The researchers saw improvement up to 4 months after the initial experiment.