Valentine Rant

I hate februarys...

Just like garfield hates mondays,like calvin hates rosalyn...Well you get
the picture.

It's good to be on the ship.

There's no pressure on me to express my feelings...

I thought I'll begin feb by watching Rab De Banadi Jodi...

I sucks.

I don't know how you even liked it!

Or why?



This is a movie that I watched entirely in fast forward.

Lets get out the rant.



What The Fuchsia ?



Is the scriptwriter braindead? Is the audience stupid?



Is the heroine blind?

Can't she even recognise her own husband when he shaves off his mushtache?

Is the hero a masochist?



Are we the audience Masochists?



Story:(with a finger firmly placed on the FF button)



The hero apologises to the guests for his wife's absence...



SKIPFASTFORWARD...



The hero gets his mush shaved and screams like Macaulay Culkin ...AAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAH!...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



The hero looks like sharuck khan with a KKHH hangover...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



The hero miraculously becomes the dance partner of the heroine, who does not
recognise that it is actually her dorky husband with no facial hair and very
very tight garish clothes.How in the world did they meet again as strangers?
Perhaps it was fate,destiny...even love.At this point I control my urge to
puke...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Bike ride in the rain.

'Aapka dil chahta hain ki uska dard kam ho jaaye'

BARF!...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Golgappa competition...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Bike race...WTF??? Why is Yashraj trying to claim lost glory with Dhoom
Spoofs?...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP



Yeh Maacho Kya hain Ji?...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Ek ladki aakhir chahti kya hain?...I'm glued to the seat, I don't dare to
skip, and what do I get? Pure BullShit.



Ek ladki sirf itna hi chahti hain ke woh usse itna pyaar kare jitna kisine
kisise na kiya ho'



Dude, girls are selfish!She wants to hog all your love...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP..



Song sequence in a bike in a mustard  field...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP x 10



Raj uses entire Amritsar to express his love to Dhaani, and then tells her
that he loves her like a friend only...STUPIDIDIOTNINCOMPOOP...if you are
just a friend, don't ever ever do that mistake...she'll suspect you
forever(even if you were telling the truth)...Trust me.



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Silly sumo fight and a sardar wearing a kimono...Yes , now this is
confirmed to be a bollywood movie!

Mr.Dork wins against the sumo, but makes dhaani cry.Waaah!...My friend is
right.All women are crazy.



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Aap kuch chahen bina mujhe pyaar kaise kar sakte hain?...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Baagh jayiye mere saath....Aaj raat hamari amritsar mein aakhri raat
hogi.Tan Tana!



Grand Finale!

Yes, it ends with a dance!But the dork comes instead of Raj! Yay !Its a
dance of where all secrets are revealed! It has Flashbacks!It has unfocussed visuals and
voiceovers!It has flashy moves!And I hate it!...

SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



It's a happy ending ! Yay !

I'm barfing all the way!



Rab ne banadi hogi yeh jodi, but kis gadhe ne yeh banayi yeh movie?



Also watched Aryan,Jodhaa Akbar and namastey london which crammed into 49
min in a DVD.

Viva La pirated dvd !