I don't gamble, especially with money.
But sometimes I have to, just for the sake of keeping up appearances.
Today we had our New Year Party.
It was slightly better than the sad x-mas party we had on this ship.
For one, I won some money!
Secondly, we had some more suckling pig.and this one looked hideous! I could
see its eyeballs, its ears and even it's teeth-intact and vulgarly sticking
out. Most of us wouldn't go near that thing.
We all watched it like it was an exhibit from a nearby freak show.
We also had a turkey.I know, traditionalists will claims turkeys for
Thanksgiving, but out at sea, beggars can't be choosers. The turkey had an
apple stuffed up its wazoo.which led to some very interesting and
entertaining discussions.
Nobody wanted the apple though!
It was tainted forever by going where the sun don't shine!
We played Housie.
As I said before I don't like to play with money.but whenever I do, I always
break even.
Mysterious forces or not, I can always predict my winnings with an uncanny
accuracy.
For a 5 $ ticket, I won 25 $...and last time I played I won 15 $.
I usually win back the principal, but on rare occasions, I win a lot more.'
But I always win.
Rather, I play only when I know that I'll win.
I'll sit out a game if the gut feeling is all wrong.
I usually don't play more than a game, because it causes general resentment
among those who usually don't win.
Also, I don't want to push my luck. I don't know I f I'm saving it up, but I
don't want to use it all up on something as frivolous as Housie.
Well that's all for now.
I don't have anything smart or witty to say, but I do wish all of you a very
Happy (whatever 'Happy' means to you) New Year from the bottom of my heart
(wherever that is).
Happy New Year!
May this year be much more interesting than the last one.
Amen.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 31 Dec 2008 12:37 UTC
Message-id: 710771485S244
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Terms Of Endearment
This is getting to be irritating!
We went to the bank in westernport, Australia to exchange some local
currency.
After I went in , I stood there waiting near the information booth and the
bank teller, a thirty something lady said to me 'Honey! Child ! Go stand
over there , and someone will come talk to you shortly'
Honey? Child?
I'm not a f%$^%*ng child!
Women, a word of advice.
Do not use terms of endearment when you don't mean them.
Don't call me a Dear if I'm not dear to you.
Don't call me Honey, if I'm not your Honey.
It irritates the hell out of me.
I know, you girls do it with quite often with each other, but I'm not a
girl!
Mean it when you say it. Or don't say it at all.
That's all.
In the local pub, the barkeep asked me how old I was.
25, I said.
She wanted proof.
She said I looked way too young.
I asked her age.
She said she was 21.
And I shot back saying 'You don't have to lie to me, you know...I don't mind
talking to older women'
Ho Ho! Revenge is sweet!
No, No! She protested that she was 21 and flashed her license at me.
I said I didn't care.
And I didn't have to prove my age because I didn't come to the bar to drink
alcohol.I came here with the other crew members for the company.
I told her about the strict Zero-Alcohol policy on board and asked for a
coke.
But really, it's not that asians look younger.
It's just that most caucasians look older when compared.
A 16 year old caucasian girl would look more like a 20 year old asian
because they are physically more developed in all areas.
They are usually taller,heavier and fuller bodied, whereas your asian
counterpart is so waif-ish and short looks like she's just had her sweet
sixteen!
Of course, you don't have to agree with me, as this is just a rant.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:41 UTC
Message-id: 709949549S35
We went to the bank in westernport, Australia to exchange some local
currency.
After I went in , I stood there waiting near the information booth and the
bank teller, a thirty something lady said to me 'Honey! Child ! Go stand
over there , and someone will come talk to you shortly'
Honey? Child?
I'm not a f%$^%*ng child!
Women, a word of advice.
Do not use terms of endearment when you don't mean them.
Don't call me a Dear if I'm not dear to you.
Don't call me Honey, if I'm not your Honey.
It irritates the hell out of me.
I know, you girls do it with quite often with each other, but I'm not a
girl!
Mean it when you say it. Or don't say it at all.
That's all.
In the local pub, the barkeep asked me how old I was.
25, I said.
She wanted proof.
She said I looked way too young.
I asked her age.
She said she was 21.
And I shot back saying 'You don't have to lie to me, you know...I don't mind
talking to older women'
Ho Ho! Revenge is sweet!
No, No! She protested that she was 21 and flashed her license at me.
I said I didn't care.
And I didn't have to prove my age because I didn't come to the bar to drink
alcohol.I came here with the other crew members for the company.
I told her about the strict Zero-Alcohol policy on board and asked for a
coke.
But really, it's not that asians look younger.
It's just that most caucasians look older when compared.
A 16 year old caucasian girl would look more like a 20 year old asian
because they are physically more developed in all areas.
They are usually taller,heavier and fuller bodied, whereas your asian
counterpart is so waif-ish and short looks like she's just had her sweet
sixteen!
Of course, you don't have to agree with me, as this is just a rant.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:41 UTC
Message-id: 709949549S35
Anger Management
How do you get your grip on rage when all you want to do is beat the crap
out of someone just to spend your anger?
I got really angry today.
I've been seeing a growing trend of neglect and apathy these days on the
ship.
Just after the safety drills ,I found the SCBA (short for Self Contained
Breathing Apparatus) kept the wrong way, despite telling people that it will
get damaged in that position.
What's more , I even found a safety lantern missing from the SCBA
harness.Some Bloody Motherf*ckin Idiot had taken it and never bothered to
return it back.One of the buttons on the SCBA was damaged and the forward
fire hose was leaking...In short -Total Disaster.
And who's gonna be held responsible?
Me.(And the Master of course)
Why?
Because I'm in charge of their maintenance.
Arrghh!
I tried to find out who had taken the missing safety lantern and I was met
with total indifference,lack of co-operation,apathy and evasiveness.
'No, I've never seen it'
'What? You were the last one using it!'
'Yeah, but it was like that when I got there...Yeah, it was like that when I
got there'
There was a tide of impotent rage rising in my blood, and it made me wanna
go...
Arrghh!
WTF@$#^%&*@()&)@!WhatiswrongwithyouyoustupidmotherF@#$@$!^*)%^
Ok this is my secret for being thin ( despite eating like a horse)
I exercise when I get angry.
Many have admired the fact that they have never seen me getting angry.
But I do get angry.
And then I release it with exercise.
At home , I release it on my punching bag.
So far I've damaged three punching bags as a result.This time Dad has
promised a custom made heavy duty punching bag that can withstand my
onslaught.
I doubt it.
I'm pretty relentless.
But what about it when I'm on ships ?
Well,I had a missing lantern, a leaking hose, a damaged button -and all
these things were important enough to get the ship detained in any of the
ports.
This was not small stuff that I could just pooh-pooh it away.
My anger was rising like mercury on a hot summer day,and then Zen happened.I
had a mini 'Satori', a moment of clarity , of revelation.
I realised that people are assholes and they would remain to be so.
My anger was impotent because it led me nowhere closer to the solution.I
would now have to waste precious hours tracking a stupid safety lantern and
these assholes would not make it any easier in finding it.But it had to be
done.In the scheme of all things important , this was on the top ten list.So
it had to be done.With or without their help.
Well, fuck them.
So I tried to calm myself down , trying to explain to myself how my anger
was unproductive and how these people did not even deserve my anger, but it
didn't work.
My anger was frtothing over and I decided to start looking for the
lantern.An hour's worth of searching yielded no results, but worse, my anger
had not simmered down and I didn't like the fact that I'd give into an
outburst if this rage continued.
So I went to the gym, locked the dood, and started loading the barbell until
it was very heavy.(60 kg)
Started with a few Clean and Jerks and then did a few military presses.Now
with the physical exertion my anger was subsiding.
Did a few other lifts including my favorite- The Deadlift using all the
plates on the barbell(nearly 90kg)
That left me tired and spent but feeling very peaceful and no longer angry.
p.s. Yesterday I told you about the sinking Yacht.It's name was Georgia.
It came on the 6 o'clock news today.All of them are ok.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 27 Dec 2008 13:05 UTC
Message-id: 709879628S9
out of someone just to spend your anger?
I got really angry today.
I've been seeing a growing trend of neglect and apathy these days on the
ship.
Just after the safety drills ,I found the SCBA (short for Self Contained
Breathing Apparatus) kept the wrong way, despite telling people that it will
get damaged in that position.
What's more , I even found a safety lantern missing from the SCBA
harness.Some Bloody Motherf*ckin Idiot had taken it and never bothered to
return it back.One of the buttons on the SCBA was damaged and the forward
fire hose was leaking...In short -Total Disaster.
And who's gonna be held responsible?
Me.(And the Master of course)
Why?
Because I'm in charge of their maintenance.
Arrghh!
I tried to find out who had taken the missing safety lantern and I was met
with total indifference,lack of co-operation,apathy and evasiveness.
'No, I've never seen it'
'What? You were the last one using it!'
'Yeah, but it was like that when I got there...Yeah, it was like that when I
got there'
There was a tide of impotent rage rising in my blood, and it made me wanna
go...
Arrghh!
WTF@$#^%&*@()&)@!WhatiswrongwithyouyoustupidmotherF@#$@$!^*)%^
Ok this is my secret for being thin ( despite eating like a horse)
I exercise when I get angry.
Many have admired the fact that they have never seen me getting angry.
But I do get angry.
And then I release it with exercise.
At home , I release it on my punching bag.
So far I've damaged three punching bags as a result.This time Dad has
promised a custom made heavy duty punching bag that can withstand my
onslaught.
I doubt it.
I'm pretty relentless.
But what about it when I'm on ships ?
Well,I had a missing lantern, a leaking hose, a damaged button -and all
these things were important enough to get the ship detained in any of the
ports.
This was not small stuff that I could just pooh-pooh it away.
My anger was rising like mercury on a hot summer day,and then Zen happened.I
had a mini 'Satori', a moment of clarity , of revelation.
I realised that people are assholes and they would remain to be so.
My anger was impotent because it led me nowhere closer to the solution.I
would now have to waste precious hours tracking a stupid safety lantern and
these assholes would not make it any easier in finding it.But it had to be
done.In the scheme of all things important , this was on the top ten list.So
it had to be done.With or without their help.
Well, fuck them.
So I tried to calm myself down , trying to explain to myself how my anger
was unproductive and how these people did not even deserve my anger, but it
didn't work.
My anger was frtothing over and I decided to start looking for the
lantern.An hour's worth of searching yielded no results, but worse, my anger
had not simmered down and I didn't like the fact that I'd give into an
outburst if this rage continued.
So I went to the gym, locked the dood, and started loading the barbell until
it was very heavy.(60 kg)
Started with a few Clean and Jerks and then did a few military presses.Now
with the physical exertion my anger was subsiding.
Did a few other lifts including my favorite- The Deadlift using all the
plates on the barbell(nearly 90kg)
That left me tired and spent but feeling very peaceful and no longer angry.
p.s. Yesterday I told you about the sinking Yacht.It's name was Georgia.
It came on the 6 o'clock news today.All of them are ok.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 27 Dec 2008 13:05 UTC
Message-id: 709879628S9
Friday, December 26, 2008
Party Pooper
We had to postpone our x-mas party by a day.
This party was held tonight .
The unanimously held opinion on board was that this party was the worst
x-mas party ever to be held in the history of Clipper Sun.
The food was not so bad-Malai Kofta, Fried Rice, suckling pig , some
Filipino chicken leg thingy, a few pakoras,veg pulao and soft drinks .That
was our fare for the day.
But something was missing.
We all felt dry.
The problem with most tankers is that they are Dry Ships.
Dry in the sense that there is not a drop of alcohol on board.
The cargo (33000 Tons of Butane and propane in this case) is deemed to be
far too precious to be put in the hands of inebriated sailors.
Thus alcohol of any kind is not allowed by company policy.
Now for a non-drinker and non-smoker, vegetarian -bean-sprout eating health
nut-exercise freak like me, this poses no problem, but to many others still
not habituated to lack of alcohol ,it does .
They crib all day about the lack of alcohol, but know that violating company
policy is grounds for immediate dismissal.
So we had a very dry x-mas.
We sang a few carols, and then bims and goc-ong (we call him Goku-The super
saiyyan) played a few of their favorite x-mas songs and then we ate plum
cake and that was it.
But then we had a Party pooper.
An emergency !
I was summoned to the bridge as we had received a distress message from a
yacht nearby.
There was a Yacht race going on and one of the boats started flooding and
they had initiated a mayday call.
We were nearby and so bound by the Sydney Coastguard and by Maritime laws to
assist the sinking yacht.
We made all preparations but then another yacht nearby had provided
assistance to the sinking yacht and we were released from our obligation and
allowed to continue our voyage.
Now we are on our way to south korea. The last I heard about the boat was a
message on the VHF radio by the coastguard warning all sailors about the
boat being awash at so-and so position.
The crew of the boat were rescued with no loss to life.
Well, I just felt like telling this to someone else before going to sleep.
Good Night.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Fri, 26 Dec 2008 12:45 UTC
Message-id: 709685818S24
This party was held tonight .
The unanimously held opinion on board was that this party was the worst
x-mas party ever to be held in the history of Clipper Sun.
The food was not so bad-Malai Kofta, Fried Rice, suckling pig , some
Filipino chicken leg thingy, a few pakoras,veg pulao and soft drinks .That
was our fare for the day.
But something was missing.
We all felt dry.
The problem with most tankers is that they are Dry Ships.
Dry in the sense that there is not a drop of alcohol on board.
The cargo (33000 Tons of Butane and propane in this case) is deemed to be
far too precious to be put in the hands of inebriated sailors.
Thus alcohol of any kind is not allowed by company policy.
Now for a non-drinker and non-smoker, vegetarian -bean-sprout eating health
nut-exercise freak like me, this poses no problem, but to many others still
not habituated to lack of alcohol ,it does .
They crib all day about the lack of alcohol, but know that violating company
policy is grounds for immediate dismissal.
So we had a very dry x-mas.
We sang a few carols, and then bims and goc-ong (we call him Goku-The super
saiyyan) played a few of their favorite x-mas songs and then we ate plum
cake and that was it.
But then we had a Party pooper.
An emergency !
I was summoned to the bridge as we had received a distress message from a
yacht nearby.
There was a Yacht race going on and one of the boats started flooding and
they had initiated a mayday call.
We were nearby and so bound by the Sydney Coastguard and by Maritime laws to
assist the sinking yacht.
We made all preparations but then another yacht nearby had provided
assistance to the sinking yacht and we were released from our obligation and
allowed to continue our voyage.
Now we are on our way to south korea. The last I heard about the boat was a
message on the VHF radio by the coastguard warning all sailors about the
boat being awash at so-and so position.
The crew of the boat were rescued with no loss to life.
Well, I just felt like telling this to someone else before going to sleep.
Good Night.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Fri, 26 Dec 2008 12:45 UTC
Message-id: 709685818S24
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Meri X-mas?
It was a busy x-mas for us at Clipper Sun.
We were loading butane in three of our four cargo tanks to discharge it in
South Korea and Japan.
Now we have departed from Australia, never to return again (until next time)
on X-mas evening.
We are tired. Dog Dead Tired.
I haven't slept in the last 18 hrs.
This isn't something new. It happens a lot.
Welcome to my world.
There's a saying here on the ship...'On a ship, there are no Sundays ‘,
which is true, because every day is a work day no matter what and will
remain so until you sign off and go home.
A ship berthed next us went on a strike and refused to work on x-mas eve and
x-mas and the day after .We salute their foolhardy courage. (And tch tch
their short spanned careers)
But the 3 weeks prior to that was something else...We went to Botany, roamed
around in Sydney, and then anchored for a long time in Bonython.
In Bonython a sense of normalcy had crept in sneakily. We felt like we were
ashore.
We all had local sim cards and were talking to friends and family every day.
Even I used to call up my friends everyday! (Something rare because I hate
phone calls)
The other reason was because I could surf daily on my cell phone.
Multiply has a wap site, so I could visit multiply daily and check posts. I
also scrapped a lot of friends on orkut. (Apart from Multiply and Orkut I
have not joined any other social networking site).
It was a poor substitute to my normal broadband connection, but beggars
can’t be choosers, as the cliché goes.
But today was the last day for the illusion of normalcy to persist.
From tomorrow, a different normalcy will be enforced upon us, a normalcy
where we are cut off the rest of the world.
From tomorrow, our ship will be a self contained island once again.
Season’s Greetings Everyone!
It’s the most Non-denominational Greetings I can offer you for free. (I
charge for Hanukkahs and janmashtamis)
P.s. I read what I just wrote. It's the most uninspiring, insipid thing I've
written so far. All the best to my readers!
p.s. Let me crack a one last pj ...
Ye na meri hain na teri...
(Wah Wah Wah!)
Ye na meri hain na teri
(Wah Wah Wah)
Par hain sabki x-mas
Toh mat bolo Merry X-mas
Bolo Sabki X-mas
Happy X-mas
(Wah Wah Wah!)
(Wow , I've hit a new low in poor standards of writing)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:16 UTC
Message-id: 709454970S35
We were loading butane in three of our four cargo tanks to discharge it in
South Korea and Japan.
Now we have departed from Australia, never to return again (until next time)
on X-mas evening.
We are tired. Dog Dead Tired.
I haven't slept in the last 18 hrs.
This isn't something new. It happens a lot.
Welcome to my world.
There's a saying here on the ship...'On a ship, there are no Sundays ‘,
which is true, because every day is a work day no matter what and will
remain so until you sign off and go home.
A ship berthed next us went on a strike and refused to work on x-mas eve and
x-mas and the day after .We salute their foolhardy courage. (And tch tch
their short spanned careers)
But the 3 weeks prior to that was something else...We went to Botany, roamed
around in Sydney, and then anchored for a long time in Bonython.
In Bonython a sense of normalcy had crept in sneakily. We felt like we were
ashore.
We all had local sim cards and were talking to friends and family every day.
Even I used to call up my friends everyday! (Something rare because I hate
phone calls)
The other reason was because I could surf daily on my cell phone.
Multiply has a wap site, so I could visit multiply daily and check posts. I
also scrapped a lot of friends on orkut. (Apart from Multiply and Orkut I
have not joined any other social networking site).
It was a poor substitute to my normal broadband connection, but beggars
can’t be choosers, as the cliché goes.
But today was the last day for the illusion of normalcy to persist.
From tomorrow, a different normalcy will be enforced upon us, a normalcy
where we are cut off the rest of the world.
From tomorrow, our ship will be a self contained island once again.
Season’s Greetings Everyone!
It’s the most Non-denominational Greetings I can offer you for free. (I
charge for Hanukkahs and janmashtamis)
P.s. I read what I just wrote. It's the most uninspiring, insipid thing I've
written so far. All the best to my readers!
p.s. Let me crack a one last pj ...
Ye na meri hain na teri...
(Wah Wah Wah!)
Ye na meri hain na teri
(Wah Wah Wah)
Par hain sabki x-mas
Toh mat bolo Merry X-mas
Bolo Sabki X-mas
Happy X-mas
(Wah Wah Wah!)
(Wow , I've hit a new low in poor standards of writing)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:16 UTC
Message-id: 709454970S35
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Ghost Stories
She told me stories that kept me begging for more.
Scary stories with ghostly sirens dressed in white, who walked in the dead
of the night, luring unsuspecting men to certain doom.
These sirens' footprints appeared in reverse, confirming their origins from
the perverse netherworlds.
I don't know what I fell in love with...with her or with her stories.
I asked her to marry me.
I was ten.
She was nineteen.
I've always gone for older women.
The age difference didn't really matter, as long as she kept those ghost
stories coming.
She refused.
I wasn't her type.
I placed forth an irresistible deal, an offer so enticing that no woman in
her right mind could refuse.
I'd give her my favorite cap if she agreed to the marriage. It was the one
with the blue superman logo on it that I had won in the local fair a few
days ago.
She laughed, but then realized my seriousness by the manner in which I
presented my offer.
She took the cap and said that she'd have to think about it.
I gave her a week, no more.
Otherwise I'd take my cap back.
I was serious about this too.
In that week, she told me many more stories -scarier ones, ones with bigger
monsters and grislier endings.
I think she liked me.
It was the happiest week of my life.
Also it was the week where I was scared shitless.
I fell deeper in love.
She returned to her home at the end of the week.
Years later I met her again.
Only this time I was nineteen, she was not.
Married and with a year old kid, but still as beautiful as before, if not
more.
Age had not diminished anything of her.
She approached and placed her year old on my lap.
I held it gingerly, not knowing when it would pee or puke on me.
(For such was the nature of one year olds)
She said she still had my cap.
And the kid played with it sometimes.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:49 UTC
Message-id: 708959900S46
Scary stories with ghostly sirens dressed in white, who walked in the dead
of the night, luring unsuspecting men to certain doom.
These sirens' footprints appeared in reverse, confirming their origins from
the perverse netherworlds.
I don't know what I fell in love with...with her or with her stories.
I asked her to marry me.
I was ten.
She was nineteen.
I've always gone for older women.
The age difference didn't really matter, as long as she kept those ghost
stories coming.
She refused.
I wasn't her type.
I placed forth an irresistible deal, an offer so enticing that no woman in
her right mind could refuse.
I'd give her my favorite cap if she agreed to the marriage. It was the one
with the blue superman logo on it that I had won in the local fair a few
days ago.
She laughed, but then realized my seriousness by the manner in which I
presented my offer.
She took the cap and said that she'd have to think about it.
I gave her a week, no more.
Otherwise I'd take my cap back.
I was serious about this too.
In that week, she told me many more stories -scarier ones, ones with bigger
monsters and grislier endings.
I think she liked me.
It was the happiest week of my life.
Also it was the week where I was scared shitless.
I fell deeper in love.
She returned to her home at the end of the week.
Years later I met her again.
Only this time I was nineteen, she was not.
Married and with a year old kid, but still as beautiful as before, if not
more.
Age had not diminished anything of her.
She approached and placed her year old on my lap.
I held it gingerly, not knowing when it would pee or puke on me.
(For such was the nature of one year olds)
She said she still had my cap.
And the kid played with it sometimes.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:49 UTC
Message-id: 708959900S46
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Kabayan Paso
Bims had very clear cut instructions.
'If somebody greets you with kabayan paso, you reply with a paso, nothing
else...no too much blah blah blah...or may be ...maybe they find out'
'Ok Bims', I said , obeying my new guide and secretly getting excited at the
same time.
Maybe in future I could be an undercover agent !
Rao !
Vikas Rao !
Neither Shaken, nor stirred...I'll have extra olives though ! And could you
pass on the 'License to Kill' please !
Dishkaawww !
Loneliness is a hunger.
Loneliness is a hunger that refuses to be fed.
The irony is evident.
Even as I crave human contact,
I am demanding and withdrawn
leading to a spiral of isolation...
And unbelongingness keeps me stuck in it.
Unbelongingness and loneliness are good bedfellows, for one shadows the
other...No...Loneliness and Unbelongingness are more of soul mates, for each
feeds and augments the other.
But unbelongingness has a paradoxical dichotomy within itself.
It is because someone like me does not belong anywhere that I can just as
easily fit in everywhere.
Although I've been mistaken for a foreigner in India, in cities like
Bangalore or in my hometown of Mangalore where people mistake me for an out
-of-towner, I've also been mistaken for being a local dude just about
everywhere else including Indonesia,Malyasia,Thailand,South
Africa,Canada,Argentina,Australia.
By Russell Peters' definition I'm a Beige Baby and that certainly helps.
By the virtue of unbelongingness, thus a person can belong anywhere!
Bims told me that the locals would not fleece me because I looked like I was
100% genuine pinoy!
Now, I just had to act pinoy enough!
I told him,' C'mon, I can be a Filipino very easily!'
'For starters ...I like karaoke !'
'Hey, I too can belt out classics, like Desperado, Annie's Song, Leaving on
a Jet Plane, Can't cry hard enough etcetera etcetera...'
'Hell! I can easily fool the locals'
'I'll just whip out my version of Hotel California for them!'
Cool!
Rao!
Vikas Rao!
International man of mystery and intrigue, an intrepid adventurer and a
consummate seducer of women, now! With a License to Thrill!
Dishkaaww !
Hey, once in Korea, the locals called us Americans.
Maybe it was because we were a bit too loud.
(And a wee bit drunk, or it might be the other way around, I'm not sure now)
But here in batangas there was a problem.
While Bims and I could pass off as Filipinos, the chief engineer's bright
red turban was sticking out like a sore thumb and there was no way in hell
we could convince the locals otherwise.
But the chief engineer had come prepared. He said we needn't worry.
He told us the colorful history of Sikhs in Philippines, and how some of
the more enterprising Sikhs made a living in this country as loan
sharks..Ahem... "Money Lenders"
These "Money Lenders" were known to the locals as 5-6 because of the strange
chronological rituals they maintained while lending money. But they were
honest loan sharks...ahem Money Lenders.
The locals also called Sikhs 'Satellites'(because of the strange dish
antennas they sported on their heads, oops ... I mean turbans!)
Early in the morning, we went to the market and got a good look at the
general hustle and bustle and the brisk business of street vendors.
But what interested me was something entirely different.
'Bims! These girls are beautiful! , I don't know why you like Indian Girls
so much...these here are gorgeous !' I exclaimed.
'Maybe...longtime on ship ...so you find every girl beautiful', Bims
replied.
Could be true you know.
You know how thirsty a man gets in the desert don't you?
A shippy friend of mine had once given me some sage advice.
He said,' Don't ...I repeat; don't meet girls for at least two weeks once
you have come home.
The mind ...will be weak and you will fall in love with the first girl you
meet...and you will end up marrying her...and believe me, you don't want to
do that...there are so many fish in the sea , and you don't want to end up
with a chum bucket !'
A true sailor at heart, he's always got a fishy metaphor or euphemism at
hand!
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia and dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
from the disposal, wiping it off ,painting over the ugly parts and recycling
it for more than it's worth.
-'Everybody's Free (to wear Sunscreen)
My friend, the one with the sage advice, had after nine long months at sea
come home, fallen in love and married the girl he had never met before in
his life -all within three months.
People told him he was crazy and acting too fast.
He disagreed.
It was true love, he said.
But now he agrees with those people and is considering the temporary
insanity plea!
Bims, Chief Engineer and I then went to worship the Gods of Mall-land.
We had some retail therapy in mind.
Consumerism is supposed to keep the economy buoyant, so what the heck? , we
thought and went to the nearest SM mall to spend some money and keep the
global economy buoyant for a while.
Every time I go to a mall, I always have a specific goal.
This time it was to buy underwear.
I believe that everyone must wear great underwear, sexy underwear or at
least something that would not gross out people when you are in your undies.
Unfortunately, due to a laundering accident, most of my jockey briefs had
come to resemble adult diapers in form, consistency and shape.
Keeping in spirit with my Underwear policy, my quest in this mall was for
sexy underwear. (For men)
Everywhere I went, I spoke exclusively in English, and though the
salespeople would initially respond in English, they would eventually slip
into Tagalog.
Their provincial rat-tat-tat-rapid fire Tagalog.
Now, I've always asked Bims to teach me tagalog.And it has always roused his
worst suspicions.
'WHY? Why You want to learn ? 'Bims would ask...
My reply would always be 'There's this chick...you see... that I want to
impress ...She's the coolest chick ever, and the best part is that she...'
'No! ...Your English is good enough' Bims would say before lapsing into a
catatonic silence.
So, as a result, I didn't understand much of what the salespeople said when
they switched over to rat-tat-tat rapid fire Tagalog.
It was all gibberish. Like chinese.Like japanese.Like korean.Like...you get
the picture
'No! No! Only English! No Tagalog!'
Crap! I must have come across as a snooty Filipino who insisted that they
only spoke in English with me!
Finally, I had landed at one spot in the mall where they sold men's
underwear.
'Sirrr...May I help you Sirrr...' She purred from behind.
The atmosphere was electrically charged, and the hair stood on the back of
my neck...
I had goose bumps!
It was love at first Hear...
I turned around, and it was love at first sight!
A compact powerhouse of a filipina, short, no more than 5 feet tall, needle
straight hair parted evenly and falling gracefully onto the shoulders,
complimenting that heart shaped face with those large almond eyes and soft
kissable lips and that oh-so-cute button like nose.
'Say that again, babe! Say that again!' I said.
I'm a very aural person.(No I haven't tried phone sex.Not yet.The holes are
too small. a Ha.).I have a strong auditory representational system.
I'm a connoisseur of beautiful pitch perfect voices...And I had found the
perfect specimen...
How could I not fall in love ?
How could I ?
I have always found the Filipino English the sexiest south east Asian
english.It has so many flavours,so many sonorous plosives,and such rich
timbre!
It sounds so exotic...so much like Spanish !
But initially understanding it was a bit difficult.
But it had that 'Banderas Effect' on me.
First let me explain the Banderas Effect.
When Antonio Banderas first burst into Hollywood, women suddenly discovered
the Banderas effect.
The effect always elicited the following response from scores of love struck
women
'I don't know what he just said, but he sounds so damn sexy !'
And so I said' Say that again ,babe ! Say that again !' with puppy dog eyes.
A bit confused, she repeated,'Sirrrr...?'
'May I help you Sirrrrr....?' she purred deeply , spurred by my amorous
response.
'Bims ! ', I whispered hoarsely, 'Can you talk to this girl, ask her if she
wants to go out with me ?'
'No ! , Maybe ...maybe...Her parents come with sticks, maybe they kill you'
Bims said apprehensively/laconically.
I've found that whenever Bims uses the word 'Maybe', he is very sure.
So it made it difficult more difficult that I had to buy underwear from her.
Incidentally , the tag line of the brand helped me buy my sexy underwear!
The tagline said' Sexier than Nude', and the poster boy was a handsome male
model with puffed pecs,bulging bi's and rippled abs.
Hey , I wanna look like that !(But not so gay)
So I bought 'x' underwear, for it was the only men's underwear that promised
to be 'Sexier than Nude'.
I have always thought that men have never looked sexy when totally nude.
The flaccid penis (or the limp dick) is perhaps the most pathetic thing
anyone has seen apart from a soggy noodle or(insert your own version of the
most pathetic thing)
You may not share my view, but I've stood for hours in front of the mirror,
naked and flexing,jiggling,jumping and doing all other things that would put
me away in the loony bin forever.
And I've never found myself remotely sexy...I look...well ...kinda funny
...and pathetic.
But excited by the prospect of looking sexier than nude, I bought 3 pairs in
Superman Blue,Banana Black and Ash Grey from my love, Gretchen...yes, that
was her name.
But taking heed of Bims' warnings of dire consequences involving sticks and
certain death , I bade a heavy hearted farewell to my love, to Gretchen.
But she didn't seem to notice that I was leaving.
She had to deal with another guy with big puppy dog eyes.
In retrospect , now I can tell you that you should never look for sexiness
in men's underwear.
Although I ended up buying the right size , my sexy underwear ended up being
too tight. So tight that it felt like my balls were in a bear hug ...All the
frickin' time.
Now I know how a Chippendale's dancer feels like.
The constant pressure ...it feels like someone is steadily squeezing. And
that's not a pleasant feeling...there is no wiggle room, no room for
expansion, it does not accommodate for sudden mood changes, or night time
woodies.
In the end , I had to revert back to my old and faithful jockeys.
After all they were the next best thing to being naked !
In the end, as we returned, I noticed that none of the locals had detected
me as an imposter.
So I wanted to see how far I could go with my subterfuge.
At the entrance at the jetty , at the security checkpoint , I greeted the
guard.
'Kabayan Paso !'
'Paso' he replied absently, as he went through my passport.
Then he realized .
He stopped.
He rechecked the passport thoroughly.
He let slip a wide toothy grin as he let me in.
He was shaking his head, talking in rat-tat-tat rapid fire Tagalog with his
partners. God only knows what he said.
Hey
James Bond Here I come !
p.s.BTW, what the heck does it mean ?
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 20 Dec 2008 12:49 UTC
Message-id: 708246503S342
'If somebody greets you with kabayan paso, you reply with a paso, nothing
else...no too much blah blah blah...or may be ...maybe they find out'
'Ok Bims', I said , obeying my new guide and secretly getting excited at the
same time.
Maybe in future I could be an undercover agent !
Rao !
Vikas Rao !
Neither Shaken, nor stirred...I'll have extra olives though ! And could you
pass on the 'License to Kill' please !
Dishkaawww !
Loneliness is a hunger.
Loneliness is a hunger that refuses to be fed.
The irony is evident.
Even as I crave human contact,
I am demanding and withdrawn
leading to a spiral of isolation...
And unbelongingness keeps me stuck in it.
Unbelongingness and loneliness are good bedfellows, for one shadows the
other...No...Loneliness and Unbelongingness are more of soul mates, for each
feeds and augments the other.
But unbelongingness has a paradoxical dichotomy within itself.
It is because someone like me does not belong anywhere that I can just as
easily fit in everywhere.
Although I've been mistaken for a foreigner in India, in cities like
Bangalore or in my hometown of Mangalore where people mistake me for an out
-of-towner, I've also been mistaken for being a local dude just about
everywhere else including Indonesia,Malyasia,Thailand,South
Africa,Canada,Argentina,Australia.
By Russell Peters' definition I'm a Beige Baby and that certainly helps.
By the virtue of unbelongingness, thus a person can belong anywhere!
Bims told me that the locals would not fleece me because I looked like I was
100% genuine pinoy!
Now, I just had to act pinoy enough!
I told him,' C'mon, I can be a Filipino very easily!'
'For starters ...I like karaoke !'
'Hey, I too can belt out classics, like Desperado, Annie's Song, Leaving on
a Jet Plane, Can't cry hard enough etcetera etcetera...'
'Hell! I can easily fool the locals'
'I'll just whip out my version of Hotel California for them!'
Cool!
Rao!
Vikas Rao!
International man of mystery and intrigue, an intrepid adventurer and a
consummate seducer of women, now! With a License to Thrill!
Dishkaaww !
Hey, once in Korea, the locals called us Americans.
Maybe it was because we were a bit too loud.
(And a wee bit drunk, or it might be the other way around, I'm not sure now)
But here in batangas there was a problem.
While Bims and I could pass off as Filipinos, the chief engineer's bright
red turban was sticking out like a sore thumb and there was no way in hell
we could convince the locals otherwise.
But the chief engineer had come prepared. He said we needn't worry.
He told us the colorful history of Sikhs in Philippines, and how some of
the more enterprising Sikhs made a living in this country as loan
sharks..Ahem... "Money Lenders"
These "Money Lenders" were known to the locals as 5-6 because of the strange
chronological rituals they maintained while lending money. But they were
honest loan sharks...ahem Money Lenders.
The locals also called Sikhs 'Satellites'(because of the strange dish
antennas they sported on their heads, oops ... I mean turbans!)
Early in the morning, we went to the market and got a good look at the
general hustle and bustle and the brisk business of street vendors.
But what interested me was something entirely different.
'Bims! These girls are beautiful! , I don't know why you like Indian Girls
so much...these here are gorgeous !' I exclaimed.
'Maybe...longtime on ship ...so you find every girl beautiful', Bims
replied.
Could be true you know.
You know how thirsty a man gets in the desert don't you?
A shippy friend of mine had once given me some sage advice.
He said,' Don't ...I repeat; don't meet girls for at least two weeks once
you have come home.
The mind ...will be weak and you will fall in love with the first girl you
meet...and you will end up marrying her...and believe me, you don't want to
do that...there are so many fish in the sea , and you don't want to end up
with a chum bucket !'
A true sailor at heart, he's always got a fishy metaphor or euphemism at
hand!
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia and dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
from the disposal, wiping it off ,painting over the ugly parts and recycling
it for more than it's worth.
-'Everybody's Free (to wear Sunscreen)
My friend, the one with the sage advice, had after nine long months at sea
come home, fallen in love and married the girl he had never met before in
his life -all within three months.
People told him he was crazy and acting too fast.
He disagreed.
It was true love, he said.
But now he agrees with those people and is considering the temporary
insanity plea!
Bims, Chief Engineer and I then went to worship the Gods of Mall-land.
We had some retail therapy in mind.
Consumerism is supposed to keep the economy buoyant, so what the heck? , we
thought and went to the nearest SM mall to spend some money and keep the
global economy buoyant for a while.
Every time I go to a mall, I always have a specific goal.
This time it was to buy underwear.
I believe that everyone must wear great underwear, sexy underwear or at
least something that would not gross out people when you are in your undies.
Unfortunately, due to a laundering accident, most of my jockey briefs had
come to resemble adult diapers in form, consistency and shape.
Keeping in spirit with my Underwear policy, my quest in this mall was for
sexy underwear. (For men)
Everywhere I went, I spoke exclusively in English, and though the
salespeople would initially respond in English, they would eventually slip
into Tagalog.
Their provincial rat-tat-tat-rapid fire Tagalog.
Now, I've always asked Bims to teach me tagalog.And it has always roused his
worst suspicions.
'WHY? Why You want to learn ? 'Bims would ask...
My reply would always be 'There's this chick...you see... that I want to
impress ...She's the coolest chick ever, and the best part is that she...'
'No! ...Your English is good enough' Bims would say before lapsing into a
catatonic silence.
So, as a result, I didn't understand much of what the salespeople said when
they switched over to rat-tat-tat rapid fire Tagalog.
It was all gibberish. Like chinese.Like japanese.Like korean.Like...you get
the picture
'No! No! Only English! No Tagalog!'
Crap! I must have come across as a snooty Filipino who insisted that they
only spoke in English with me!
Finally, I had landed at one spot in the mall where they sold men's
underwear.
'Sirrr...May I help you Sirrr...' She purred from behind.
The atmosphere was electrically charged, and the hair stood on the back of
my neck...
I had goose bumps!
It was love at first Hear...
I turned around, and it was love at first sight!
A compact powerhouse of a filipina, short, no more than 5 feet tall, needle
straight hair parted evenly and falling gracefully onto the shoulders,
complimenting that heart shaped face with those large almond eyes and soft
kissable lips and that oh-so-cute button like nose.
'Say that again, babe! Say that again!' I said.
I'm a very aural person.(No I haven't tried phone sex.Not yet.The holes are
too small. a Ha.).I have a strong auditory representational system.
I'm a connoisseur of beautiful pitch perfect voices...And I had found the
perfect specimen...
How could I not fall in love ?
How could I ?
I have always found the Filipino English the sexiest south east Asian
english.It has so many flavours,so many sonorous plosives,and such rich
timbre!
It sounds so exotic...so much like Spanish !
But initially understanding it was a bit difficult.
But it had that 'Banderas Effect' on me.
First let me explain the Banderas Effect.
When Antonio Banderas first burst into Hollywood, women suddenly discovered
the Banderas effect.
The effect always elicited the following response from scores of love struck
women
'I don't know what he just said, but he sounds so damn sexy !'
And so I said' Say that again ,babe ! Say that again !' with puppy dog eyes.
A bit confused, she repeated,'Sirrrr...?'
'May I help you Sirrrrr....?' she purred deeply , spurred by my amorous
response.
'Bims ! ', I whispered hoarsely, 'Can you talk to this girl, ask her if she
wants to go out with me ?'
'No ! , Maybe ...maybe...Her parents come with sticks, maybe they kill you'
Bims said apprehensively/laconically.
I've found that whenever Bims uses the word 'Maybe', he is very sure.
So it made it difficult more difficult that I had to buy underwear from her.
Incidentally , the tag line of the brand helped me buy my sexy underwear!
The tagline said' Sexier than Nude', and the poster boy was a handsome male
model with puffed pecs,bulging bi's and rippled abs.
Hey , I wanna look like that !(But not so gay)
So I bought 'x' underwear, for it was the only men's underwear that promised
to be 'Sexier than Nude'.
I have always thought that men have never looked sexy when totally nude.
The flaccid penis (or the limp dick) is perhaps the most pathetic thing
anyone has seen apart from a soggy noodle or(insert your own version of the
most pathetic thing)
You may not share my view, but I've stood for hours in front of the mirror,
naked and flexing,jiggling,jumping and doing all other things that would put
me away in the loony bin forever.
And I've never found myself remotely sexy...I look...well ...kinda funny
...and pathetic.
But excited by the prospect of looking sexier than nude, I bought 3 pairs in
Superman Blue,Banana Black and Ash Grey from my love, Gretchen...yes, that
was her name.
But taking heed of Bims' warnings of dire consequences involving sticks and
certain death , I bade a heavy hearted farewell to my love, to Gretchen.
But she didn't seem to notice that I was leaving.
She had to deal with another guy with big puppy dog eyes.
In retrospect , now I can tell you that you should never look for sexiness
in men's underwear.
Although I ended up buying the right size , my sexy underwear ended up being
too tight. So tight that it felt like my balls were in a bear hug ...All the
frickin' time.
Now I know how a Chippendale's dancer feels like.
The constant pressure ...it feels like someone is steadily squeezing. And
that's not a pleasant feeling...there is no wiggle room, no room for
expansion, it does not accommodate for sudden mood changes, or night time
woodies.
In the end , I had to revert back to my old and faithful jockeys.
After all they were the next best thing to being naked !
In the end, as we returned, I noticed that none of the locals had detected
me as an imposter.
So I wanted to see how far I could go with my subterfuge.
At the entrance at the jetty , at the security checkpoint , I greeted the
guard.
'Kabayan Paso !'
'Paso' he replied absently, as he went through my passport.
Then he realized .
He stopped.
He rechecked the passport thoroughly.
He let slip a wide toothy grin as he let me in.
He was shaking his head, talking in rat-tat-tat rapid fire Tagalog with his
partners. God only knows what he said.
Hey
James Bond Here I come !
p.s.BTW, what the heck does it mean ?
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 20 Dec 2008 12:49 UTC
Message-id: 708246503S342
Friday, December 19, 2008
Letters to God
Real Kids' Letters to God
Dear God,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?"
Because if you did, then I'm going to punch my brother.
- Love, Cindy
Dear God,
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean?
I don't know and nobody will tell me.
- Love, Allison
Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.
Is that okay?
- Your Friend, Nigel
Dear God,
I would like to live 900 years like that guy in the Bible.
- Your Friend, John
Dear God,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, you
can look it up.
- Ben
Dear God,
We read that Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they
said you did it. I bet he stole your idea.
- Love, Angie
Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why
don't you just keep the ones you have now?
- Jamie
Dear God,
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an
accident?
- Deena
Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they
had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
- Evan
Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a
puppy.
- Love, Susan
Dear God,
I didn't think purple went with orange until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday.
- Allyson
Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his fishing
words in the house?
- Kenny
Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that a trick?
- Dylan
Dear God,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right.
They're just kidding, aren't they?
-Kristen
Dear God,
If you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new suit.
- Mike
Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the
whole world all the time. There are only 6 people in my house
and I can't do it.
- Nancy
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Fri, 19 Dec 2008 10:58 UTC
Message-id: 707989420S221
Dear God,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?"
Because if you did, then I'm going to punch my brother.
- Love, Cindy
Dear God,
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean?
I don't know and nobody will tell me.
- Love, Allison
Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.
Is that okay?
- Your Friend, Nigel
Dear God,
I would like to live 900 years like that guy in the Bible.
- Your Friend, John
Dear God,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, you
can look it up.
- Ben
Dear God,
We read that Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they
said you did it. I bet he stole your idea.
- Love, Angie
Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why
don't you just keep the ones you have now?
- Jamie
Dear God,
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an
accident?
- Deena
Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they
had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
- Evan
Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a
puppy.
- Love, Susan
Dear God,
I didn't think purple went with orange until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday.
- Allyson
Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his fishing
words in the house?
- Kenny
Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that a trick?
- Dylan
Dear God,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right.
They're just kidding, aren't they?
-Kristen
Dear God,
If you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new suit.
- Mike
Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the
whole world all the time. There are only 6 people in my house
and I can't do it.
- Nancy
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Fri, 19 Dec 2008 10:58 UTC
Message-id: 707989420S221
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Dreams and Predictions
(I wish I told )
I hope all my grand predictions come true.
I
really
do.
In being a good mirror , I've reflected onto you what you always wanted deep
within yourself. Call it a latent ability , but I have an uncanny ability
for being accurate about other people's dreams, maybe because I lack
any
of
my
own.
Here's the truth; your dreams may all come true or may remain unfulfilled ,
but only
time
will
tell.
The future does not exist yet .It is created by minute perturbations in the
fabric of the present, with causalities that go beyond your sole actions.
I hate to lie , to deceive , but can't help doing it when I see you enjoying
these
false constructs so happily.
I'm sorry ,
but I'm feeding you
your own lies.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:04 UTC
Message-id: 706693261S348
I hope all my grand predictions come true.
I
really
do.
In being a good mirror , I've reflected onto you what you always wanted deep
within yourself. Call it a latent ability , but I have an uncanny ability
for being accurate about other people's dreams, maybe because I lack
any
of
my
own.
Here's the truth; your dreams may all come true or may remain unfulfilled ,
but only
time
will
tell.
The future does not exist yet .It is created by minute perturbations in the
fabric of the present, with causalities that go beyond your sole actions.
I hate to lie , to deceive , but can't help doing it when I see you enjoying
these
false constructs so happily.
I'm sorry ,
but I'm feeding you
your own lies.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:04 UTC
Message-id: 706693261S348
Repulsion /Closeted Secrets
Repulsion:
I. once . hated. myself. deeply .so. deeply .that . now . I .grudgingly
.admit .it. as. I. haltingly. type. this. sentence.
What. I. hated .about. myself . I'm. no .longer .sure .now . but .I. worked
.SO. hard .on .myself .erasing. my. past . recreating. myself. that. now .I
.NO .longer. recognize .myself .in .the .mirror.
Closeted Secrets:
I'm finally coming out of the closet.
Yes, I'm an atheist.
(Sorry mom.
Well, at least I'm not an art student or gay
or both!)
(Not that it's bad to be both)
But
With no god , who do I turn to for answers ?
Will I find them buried deep within me ?
Where do I start digging ?
?
?
?
!
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sun, 14 Dec 2008 11:30 UTC
Message-id: 706611830S339
I. once . hated. myself. deeply .so. deeply .that . now . I .grudgingly
.admit .it. as. I. haltingly. type. this. sentence.
What. I. hated .about. myself . I'm. no .longer .sure .now . but .I. worked
.SO. hard .on .myself .erasing. my. past . recreating. myself. that. now .I
.NO .longer. recognize .myself .in .the .mirror.
Closeted Secrets:
I'm finally coming out of the closet.
Yes, I'm an atheist.
(Sorry mom.
Well, at least I'm not an art student or gay
or both!)
(Not that it's bad to be both)
But
With no god , who do I turn to for answers ?
Will I find them buried deep within me ?
Where do I start digging ?
?
?
?
!
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sun, 14 Dec 2008 11:30 UTC
Message-id: 706611830S339
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Coffee,tea or...?
'Toh , Tum Coffee ,tea vagairah peete nahin ho ?'
'Coffee se neend khul jaati hai...It wakes me up'
'That's what it supposed to do, my friend...Jolt you into wakefulness, clear
the cobwebs of your mind, clarify thought and action,et cetera et cetera'
'Neend khul jaayegi...Bas isi baat ka toh darr hai ki kahin neend khul
jayegi..Aur main jag utoonga...'
'Yeh duniya sab maaya hain...That's what they say...Nothing in this world is
real, it's all maaya, an illusion ,a mass hallucination , a shared psychotic
reality.'
'Kya pata, coffee might wake me up and force me to face reality...Sometimes
Illusions are more useful than stark naked reality'
'Dost ! Ek baat kahoon, agar tu bura nahin manega toh ?'
'Sure'
'Duniya badalnekeliye apna nazariya badlo'
'Aur Jaago Mohan Pyaare!'
A few days later...
'Arre ! Tu toh keh raha tha ki coffee peeta nahin hain , aur poora zindagi
sotey bitana chahate hain !, Ab kya hua maharaj ?...haath main coffee kyun
hain ?'
'I've just realized...Coffee is not enough.'
(Sorry ,No translations)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 13 Dec 2008 23:30 UTC
Message-id: 706523164S383
'Coffee se neend khul jaati hai...It wakes me up'
'That's what it supposed to do, my friend...Jolt you into wakefulness, clear
the cobwebs of your mind, clarify thought and action,et cetera et cetera'
'Neend khul jaayegi...Bas isi baat ka toh darr hai ki kahin neend khul
jayegi..Aur main jag utoonga...'
'Yeh duniya sab maaya hain...That's what they say...Nothing in this world is
real, it's all maaya, an illusion ,a mass hallucination , a shared psychotic
reality.'
'Kya pata, coffee might wake me up and force me to face reality...Sometimes
Illusions are more useful than stark naked reality'
'Dost ! Ek baat kahoon, agar tu bura nahin manega toh ?'
'Sure'
'Duniya badalnekeliye apna nazariya badlo'
'Aur Jaago Mohan Pyaare!'
A few days later...
'Arre ! Tu toh keh raha tha ki coffee peeta nahin hain , aur poora zindagi
sotey bitana chahate hain !, Ab kya hua maharaj ?...haath main coffee kyun
hain ?'
'I've just realized...Coffee is not enough.'
(Sorry ,No translations)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 13 Dec 2008 23:30 UTC
Message-id: 706523164S383
Friday, December 12, 2008
Travesty of Justice in South Korea :Hebei Spirit
INDIAN SEAFARERS FEDERATION (ISF)
National Union of Seafarers of India,
The Maritime Union of India
NUSI Bhavan, 4, Goa Street,
Udyog Bhavan, 4th Floor,
Ballard Estate,
29 Walchand Hirachand Marg,
Mumbai- 400 001.
Ballard Estate, Mumbai- 400001
Tel: 22618368 / 9,
Tel. No. 22613052 / 2261507
Email: nusi@vsnl.com
Email: oceanite@vsnl.com
11th December, 2008
Dear Sir
Sub: Unjust Judgement on "Hebei Spirit" issue Shipping fraternity terms it
"outrageous"
The ship "Hebei Spirit" was at safe parking (anchorage) in South Korea. It
was collided by a tug-towed crane barge owned by Samsung Heavy Industries
resulting in an oil spill. Capt. Jasprit Chawla and Chief Officer Syam
Chetan were detained since December, 2007 in South Korea despite being
proved innocent on 23rd June, 2008 by the Court. The matter went into
appeal. Mr. Roberto Giorgi, President, V. Ships, Technical Managers of the
Hebei Spirit, commented "on the possibility of Samsung and Korean
authorities 'colluding' for the retrial to overturn the initial "innocent"
verdict for both Master and Chief Officer, brought down on June, 23, by
another Korean judge". This is exactly what had happened.
Justice was denied when the judgement, which was delivered on December 10th
2008, found Capt. Jasprit Chawla and Chief Officer Syam Chetan guilty and
sentenced them for 18 months and 8 months respectively. The two Indian
seafarers were handcuffed and paraded in blatant disregards to human rights.
This is yet another example of criminilisation of seafarers.
In the meeting held between the stakeholders of shipping fraternity i..e.
National Union of Seafarers of India (NUSI), the Maritime Union of India
(MUI) Foreign Owners Representatives and Shipmanagers Association (FOSMA)
Maritime Association of Shipowners, Shipmanagers and Agents (MASSA) and the
Indian National Shipowners Association (INSA) the following was decided.
1. Appeal to more than two hundred thousand seafarers, their family
members, and other proud Indians to boycott Korean products especially
Samsung.
2. Appeal to Indian shipowners to review the orders placed for new
ships presently being build in Korean shipyards which runs into billions of
dollars.
3. Appeal to shipowners to stop operating ships, particularly tankers,
to Korea.
4. Appeal to seafarers worldwide to seriously reconsider before
entering Korean waters and ports as they might meet the same fate as
seafarers of "Hebei Spirit". Such a boycott by seafarers will have severe
consequences on the Korean economy.
5. We have also approached Mr. Abhinav Bindra and Mr. Aamir Khan who
are brand ambassadors of Samsung products to support the cause of Capt.
Jasprit Chawla and Chief Office Syam Chetan.
6. Seafarers are apprehensive to go to Korean waters after the
judgement, in the same way, as they are apprehensive to go to the waters of
Somalia.
p.s.
I agree that oil pollution is very damaging to the ecology and economy .But
here , the Master was not at fault(despite what media might say)
The Master of Hebei Spirit had done everything that was humanly possible.
His efforts were lauded by the international seafaring community. The
Master of was even awarded the 'Mariner of the Year ' award this year.
I hope it will come handy to him in prison.
It is readily apparent that these seafarers were innocent scapegoats here.
This is a sad day for shipping.
And a very demoralizing piece of news for the rest of the seafaring
community.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:03 UTC
Message-id: 706336576S348
National Union of Seafarers of India,
The Maritime Union of India
NUSI Bhavan, 4, Goa Street,
Udyog Bhavan, 4th Floor,
Ballard Estate,
29 Walchand Hirachand Marg,
Mumbai- 400 001.
Ballard Estate, Mumbai- 400001
Tel: 22618368 / 9,
Tel. No. 22613052 / 2261507
Email: nusi@vsnl.com
Email: oceanite@vsnl.com
11th December, 2008
Dear Sir
Sub: Unjust Judgement on "Hebei Spirit" issue Shipping fraternity terms it
"outrageous"
The ship "Hebei Spirit" was at safe parking (anchorage) in South Korea. It
was collided by a tug-towed crane barge owned by Samsung Heavy Industries
resulting in an oil spill. Capt. Jasprit Chawla and Chief Officer Syam
Chetan were detained since December, 2007 in South Korea despite being
proved innocent on 23rd June, 2008 by the Court. The matter went into
appeal. Mr. Roberto Giorgi, President, V. Ships, Technical Managers of the
Hebei Spirit, commented "on the possibility of Samsung and Korean
authorities 'colluding' for the retrial to overturn the initial "innocent"
verdict for both Master and Chief Officer, brought down on June, 23, by
another Korean judge". This is exactly what had happened.
Justice was denied when the judgement, which was delivered on December 10th
2008, found Capt. Jasprit Chawla and Chief Officer Syam Chetan guilty and
sentenced them for 18 months and 8 months respectively. The two Indian
seafarers were handcuffed and paraded in blatant disregards to human rights.
This is yet another example of criminilisation of seafarers.
In the meeting held between the stakeholders of shipping fraternity i..e.
National Union of Seafarers of India (NUSI), the Maritime Union of India
(MUI) Foreign Owners Representatives and Shipmanagers Association (FOSMA)
Maritime Association of Shipowners, Shipmanagers and Agents (MASSA) and the
Indian National Shipowners Association (INSA) the following was decided.
1. Appeal to more than two hundred thousand seafarers, their family
members, and other proud Indians to boycott Korean products especially
Samsung.
2. Appeal to Indian shipowners to review the orders placed for new
ships presently being build in Korean shipyards which runs into billions of
dollars.
3. Appeal to shipowners to stop operating ships, particularly tankers,
to Korea.
4. Appeal to seafarers worldwide to seriously reconsider before
entering Korean waters and ports as they might meet the same fate as
seafarers of "Hebei Spirit". Such a boycott by seafarers will have severe
consequences on the Korean economy.
5. We have also approached Mr. Abhinav Bindra and Mr. Aamir Khan who
are brand ambassadors of Samsung products to support the cause of Capt.
Jasprit Chawla and Chief Office Syam Chetan.
6. Seafarers are apprehensive to go to Korean waters after the
judgement, in the same way, as they are apprehensive to go to the waters of
Somalia.
p.s.
I agree that oil pollution is very damaging to the ecology and economy .But
here , the Master was not at fault(despite what media might say)
The Master of Hebei Spirit had done everything that was humanly possible.
His efforts were lauded by the international seafaring community. The
Master of was even awarded the 'Mariner of the Year ' award this year.
I hope it will come handy to him in prison.
It is readily apparent that these seafarers were innocent scapegoats here.
This is a sad day for shipping.
And a very demoralizing piece of news for the rest of the seafaring
community.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:03 UTC
Message-id: 706336576S348
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Women, to find your perfect man, you must...(read further)
Young woman, if you would marry a hero, impersonate beauty.
Maiden lady of quite impossible age, if you would marry the best man in the
world, impersonate youth and beauty.
Dear languishing widow, if you would marry a real man, impersonate youth,
beauty and wealth. You will win.
Men follow actresses around the world because they impersonate love,
passion, beauty, virtue and nobleness. The men really think actresses must
possess what they portray. You see, it is all a matter of thinking. It does
not matter how many times a man has lost on the races, if he is a good sport
he will bet on the next horse that looks good to him. Women need to
impersonate looking good, better, best. Not on occasions only, but all the
time.
Men like women who are good pals. So ladies impersonate sympathy, kindness,
patience, good fellowship, enthusiasm, in the things that interest men.
If you belong to the Citrus family, impersonate the Peach.
If you belong to the Nettle family, impersonate the Violet.
You may be so homely that your face pains you, but think of the
impersonations of beauty you can buy at the drug store.
Impersonate silence. A young lady in Philadelphia lost her voice and she had
nineteen proposals that year.
Impersonate form. You may be as angular as the streets in Boston, yet almost
any department store will shape you up. You may be so fat that you haven't
seen your feet in years, still you can impersonate so much good nature that
men will be attracted to you as flowers to the sun.
And remember, Satan did not bring the temptation to Eve instead of Adam,
because woman was a weaker, and man a superior being. He brought the
temptation to Eve because a woman isn't afraid of the Devil. If he had
brought it to Adam, he would have been running yet.
So keep in mind that a bare statement is not necessarily the naked truth and
act accordingly.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:04 UTC
Message-id: 705951145S343
Maiden lady of quite impossible age, if you would marry the best man in the
world, impersonate youth and beauty.
Dear languishing widow, if you would marry a real man, impersonate youth,
beauty and wealth. You will win.
Men follow actresses around the world because they impersonate love,
passion, beauty, virtue and nobleness. The men really think actresses must
possess what they portray. You see, it is all a matter of thinking. It does
not matter how many times a man has lost on the races, if he is a good sport
he will bet on the next horse that looks good to him. Women need to
impersonate looking good, better, best. Not on occasions only, but all the
time.
Men like women who are good pals. So ladies impersonate sympathy, kindness,
patience, good fellowship, enthusiasm, in the things that interest men.
If you belong to the Citrus family, impersonate the Peach.
If you belong to the Nettle family, impersonate the Violet.
You may be so homely that your face pains you, but think of the
impersonations of beauty you can buy at the drug store.
Impersonate silence. A young lady in Philadelphia lost her voice and she had
nineteen proposals that year.
Impersonate form. You may be as angular as the streets in Boston, yet almost
any department store will shape you up. You may be so fat that you haven't
seen your feet in years, still you can impersonate so much good nature that
men will be attracted to you as flowers to the sun.
And remember, Satan did not bring the temptation to Eve instead of Adam,
because woman was a weaker, and man a superior being. He brought the
temptation to Eve because a woman isn't afraid of the Devil. If he had
brought it to Adam, he would have been running yet.
So keep in mind that a bare statement is not necessarily the naked truth and
act accordingly.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:04 UTC
Message-id: 705951145S343
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Purple Prose
'The novel is not the author's confession' ,says Author Milan Kundera in his
novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being. He adds that' it is an
investigation of human life in the trap the world has become'
Milan Kundera admits when he says, 'characters are not born like people, of
woman; they are born of a situation, a sentence, a metaphor containing in a
nutshell a basic human possibility that the author thinks no one else has
discovered or said something essential about. But isn't it true that an
author can write only about himself?'
The characters in my novels are my own unrealized possibilities. That
is why I am equally fond of them all and equally horrified by them. Each one
has crossed a border that I myself have circumvented. It is that crossed
border (the border beyond which my own I ends) which attracts me most. For
beyond that border begins the secret the novel asks about. The novel is not
the author's confession; it is an investigation of human life in the trap
the world has become'
I'm not Milan Kundera. I'm just a mediocre writer who aspires
to be an aspiring writer.
I'm in love with my purple prose.
It is overwrought, dreary and tiresome to read .I'm a flawed writer.I write
only about myself. Sometimes I try to be too smart and end up doing a shoddy
job of it.
But I love what I write. Sometimes I go over my old stuff and reminisce.
Those are happy times...
In 'Hurt'
I write,
'I spend hours and days
planning in ways
to hurt you
the way you hurt me...'
'Is this not True Love?' I ask.
Who have I addressed here?
Nobody.
Let me deconstruct the magic. It is time I show you how I pull rabbits out
of my hat...
Let us examine the empedoclean paradox (see Empedocles) given below. It is a
Japanese poem I once read somewhere that goes something like this...
'To think that I am not going to think of you anymore
is still thinking of you...
Let me then try not to think
that I'm not going to think of you'
This was the inspiration for the post titled 'Hurt' and to it I had to
incorporate raknax's cryptic aphorism which said,
'It's practically raining disappointments. Thy monsoon of talking into the
dark.
One of these days, eventually you have to give me what I want.
No?'
Its relative vagueness and sensate richness in metaphor bowled me over.
I had to steal the line and use it somewhere.
I told him I would.
So I did.
Now let's read an excerpt of 'Running Away'
It says,' I see the world too clearly. It is not filled with shades of
grey.It is I who gets to fill it with colours and I'm in no mood to paint
the town red.
'So this is me running away'
'Far away from a colourful yet drab world that has nothing to do with me or
me anything with it'
'You owe me nothing, and I owe you my sanity, my humanity, and my everything
else.
I don't deserve you, nor do you deserve the pain and misery that is mine to
give'
'I'm not playing hard to get. I'm not pushing you away'
'I'm simply pushing you to forget me
and to believe in a lie that we were never meant to be'
'It would be a lie if I told you that I don't love you. But I'm a better
liar than a lover. So good that I believe in my lies'
'I love you more than the entire world itself, but at the same time I don't
want you to love me'
'Does that make sense? No? '
'Not to me either'
Running Away was clearly inspired by two people. Author Manil
Suri, and his book 'Age of Shiva' and 'Yes I will push you away' by our very
own Ms.J.
Ms.J has written very powerfully...It had a strong visceral impact on me ,
so much so that I wondered if I could write something similar...maybe
something from a man's perspective...a commitment phobic man's perspective,
and thus "Running Away' was born.
If you have read 'You think you know me,
Where I appear angry when I say
'You think you know me?'
'So you 'vet read everything, seen everything ...and now you think you know
me !
You think you know what makes me tick ? You think you know the inner
workings , the minute gears, cogs and sprockets that run this rust bucket ?
You think you know me?
You think you have figured me out ?'
'It takes a lifetime to know someone , and even then , one is not sure ...
The mind is a terrible thing. It goes deep. Deeper than the deepest pools
you have swum in '
'It is darker than the darkest places in your heart .
It is more frightening than the most frightening nightmares that wake you
up in the night'
which was in fact inspired by Robbie Williams song 'Madonna'(strange isn't
it ?)
(Factoid: Rudebox was voted Robbie's worst album ever)
Or in one of my imaginary confessions , I write
'She seemed perfect in every way .Her imperfections didn't matter then. I
wanted her to save me , from myself, like I always told her. Always.
'The heartbreak was in itself very un dramatic...with a simple sentence ,
she nudged me from a 'Potential Mate' to 'in your dreams , Mate! '.
It was a pre-emptive strike...much before I could do anything stupid and
humiliate myself and her'
'I hopelessly return to the same subject...over and over again. It seems
I'm powerless not to...'
'No. I haven't stopped grieving, and yes I'm still healing'
'I don't love her anymore, I still respect her , but I also have lost my
ability to fall in love with anyone anymore.
I only hope that time proves me wrong'
and this was inspired from a Jagjit singh ghazal .(No , I cannot explain it
any more than that, for I don't understand the mechanics of inspiration
myself)
Why am I saying this?
Well , I realize that you are taking my posts literally and too seriously...
That is good and bad news...The good news is , my writing is effective. The
bad news is, you are making it personal.
Let me confess once again...
like I've done so many times before,
and let this be true ,
(unlike before ?)
I'm like Jack Nicholson's character Melvin Udall in the movie 'As good as it
gets' , where Jack Nicholson plays a OCD patient addled with intimacy
issues...Although never in a relationship, he makes a living writing romance
novels (which are ironically best sellers)
No. I'm not in pain. I don't need help, nor therapy...This is just something
I write, because my brain is hardwired this way.I haven't gone through a
heart break...I've never been in a relationship...
until now.
Now, I keep meeting so many wonderful girls , I feel there are too many to
choose from !
Just kidding !
I'm still a loser ...with no girlfriend .
I'm just a guy in love with his own purple prose.
(Check this out: If you look up a dictionary , you'll find that 'purple
prose' is almost an oxymoron)
I'm not worth wasting your time.
Believe Me.
I have an answer to your question...
What I want is freedom to write anything I want...and for you to be
unaffected by it.
My writings may mean the world to me...but they should be meaningless to
you.
They are in a way meaningless, if you read them carefully. They never add up
!
I'm not insulting your intelligence by writing abstruse posts...
I'm tired of saying this, but believe me.
I'm not worth wasting your time.
My favourite bit in 'Hurt ' is (and always will be)
'I've prepared
Hot words & cold shoulders,
tepid indifference,
deafening silences,
sharp stinging barbs and rebukes honed to a deadly precision,
just waiting for your next mistake'
for no particular reason.
(Ah ! If not for the email size restrictions, this post would have been much
longer)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:22 UTC
Message-id: 705663344S347
novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being. He adds that' it is an
investigation of human life in the trap the world has become'
Milan Kundera admits when he says, 'characters are not born like people, of
woman; they are born of a situation, a sentence, a metaphor containing in a
nutshell a basic human possibility that the author thinks no one else has
discovered or said something essential about. But isn't it true that an
author can write only about himself?'
The characters in my novels are my own unrealized possibilities. That
is why I am equally fond of them all and equally horrified by them. Each one
has crossed a border that I myself have circumvented. It is that crossed
border (the border beyond which my own I ends) which attracts me most. For
beyond that border begins the secret the novel asks about. The novel is not
the author's confession; it is an investigation of human life in the trap
the world has become'
I'm not Milan Kundera. I'm just a mediocre writer who aspires
to be an aspiring writer.
I'm in love with my purple prose.
It is overwrought, dreary and tiresome to read .I'm a flawed writer.I write
only about myself. Sometimes I try to be too smart and end up doing a shoddy
job of it.
But I love what I write. Sometimes I go over my old stuff and reminisce.
Those are happy times...
In 'Hurt'
I write,
'I spend hours and days
planning in ways
to hurt you
the way you hurt me...'
'Is this not True Love?' I ask.
Who have I addressed here?
Nobody.
Let me deconstruct the magic. It is time I show you how I pull rabbits out
of my hat...
Let us examine the empedoclean paradox (see Empedocles) given below. It is a
Japanese poem I once read somewhere that goes something like this...
'To think that I am not going to think of you anymore
is still thinking of you...
Let me then try not to think
that I'm not going to think of you'
This was the inspiration for the post titled 'Hurt' and to it I had to
incorporate raknax's cryptic aphorism which said,
'It's practically raining disappointments. Thy monsoon of talking into the
dark.
One of these days, eventually you have to give me what I want.
No?'
Its relative vagueness and sensate richness in metaphor bowled me over.
I had to steal the line and use it somewhere.
I told him I would.
So I did.
Now let's read an excerpt of 'Running Away'
It says,' I see the world too clearly. It is not filled with shades of
grey.It is I who gets to fill it with colours and I'm in no mood to paint
the town red.
'So this is me running away'
'Far away from a colourful yet drab world that has nothing to do with me or
me anything with it'
'You owe me nothing, and I owe you my sanity, my humanity, and my everything
else.
I don't deserve you, nor do you deserve the pain and misery that is mine to
give'
'I'm not playing hard to get. I'm not pushing you away'
'I'm simply pushing you to forget me
and to believe in a lie that we were never meant to be'
'It would be a lie if I told you that I don't love you. But I'm a better
liar than a lover. So good that I believe in my lies'
'I love you more than the entire world itself, but at the same time I don't
want you to love me'
'Does that make sense? No? '
'Not to me either'
Running Away was clearly inspired by two people. Author Manil
Suri, and his book 'Age of Shiva' and 'Yes I will push you away' by our very
own Ms.J.
Ms.J has written very powerfully...It had a strong visceral impact on me ,
so much so that I wondered if I could write something similar...maybe
something from a man's perspective...a commitment phobic man's perspective,
and thus "Running Away' was born.
If you have read 'You think you know me,
Where I appear angry when I say
'You think you know me?'
'So you 'vet read everything, seen everything ...and now you think you know
me !
You think you know what makes me tick ? You think you know the inner
workings , the minute gears, cogs and sprockets that run this rust bucket ?
You think you know me?
You think you have figured me out ?'
'It takes a lifetime to know someone , and even then , one is not sure ...
The mind is a terrible thing. It goes deep. Deeper than the deepest pools
you have swum in '
'It is darker than the darkest places in your heart .
It is more frightening than the most frightening nightmares that wake you
up in the night'
which was in fact inspired by Robbie Williams song 'Madonna'(strange isn't
it ?)
(Factoid: Rudebox was voted Robbie's worst album ever)
Or in one of my imaginary confessions , I write
'She seemed perfect in every way .Her imperfections didn't matter then. I
wanted her to save me , from myself, like I always told her. Always.
'The heartbreak was in itself very un dramatic...with a simple sentence ,
she nudged me from a 'Potential Mate' to 'in your dreams , Mate! '.
It was a pre-emptive strike...much before I could do anything stupid and
humiliate myself and her'
'I hopelessly return to the same subject...over and over again. It seems
I'm powerless not to...'
'No. I haven't stopped grieving, and yes I'm still healing'
'I don't love her anymore, I still respect her , but I also have lost my
ability to fall in love with anyone anymore.
I only hope that time proves me wrong'
and this was inspired from a Jagjit singh ghazal .(No , I cannot explain it
any more than that, for I don't understand the mechanics of inspiration
myself)
Why am I saying this?
Well , I realize that you are taking my posts literally and too seriously...
That is good and bad news...The good news is , my writing is effective. The
bad news is, you are making it personal.
Let me confess once again...
like I've done so many times before,
and let this be true ,
(unlike before ?)
I'm like Jack Nicholson's character Melvin Udall in the movie 'As good as it
gets' , where Jack Nicholson plays a OCD patient addled with intimacy
issues...Although never in a relationship, he makes a living writing romance
novels (which are ironically best sellers)
No. I'm not in pain. I don't need help, nor therapy...This is just something
I write, because my brain is hardwired this way.I haven't gone through a
heart break...I've never been in a relationship...
until now.
Now, I keep meeting so many wonderful girls , I feel there are too many to
choose from !
Just kidding !
I'm still a loser ...with no girlfriend .
I'm just a guy in love with his own purple prose.
(Check this out: If you look up a dictionary , you'll find that 'purple
prose' is almost an oxymoron)
I'm not worth wasting your time.
Believe Me.
I have an answer to your question...
What I want is freedom to write anything I want...and for you to be
unaffected by it.
My writings may mean the world to me...but they should be meaningless to
you.
They are in a way meaningless, if you read them carefully. They never add up
!
I'm not insulting your intelligence by writing abstruse posts...
I'm tired of saying this, but believe me.
I'm not worth wasting your time.
My favourite bit in 'Hurt ' is (and always will be)
'I've prepared
Hot words & cold shoulders,
tepid indifference,
deafening silences,
sharp stinging barbs and rebukes honed to a deadly precision,
just waiting for your next mistake'
for no particular reason.
(Ah ! If not for the email size restrictions, this post would have been much
longer)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:22 UTC
Message-id: 705663344S347
If it must
Another dream time message. It says
'If it must ,let it bleed'
But what does it mean ?
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:39 UTC
Message-id: 705653043S207
'If it must ,let it bleed'
But what does it mean ?
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:39 UTC
Message-id: 705653043S207
I can Surf !
I can surf !
Hallelujah !
I can surf the web , but with one caveat .
Since we are anchored off Australia in a remote area called Port Whyalla
(and will be there all month long) , I bought a local sim card, which has 3G
and wap services.
Wap services are virtually free !
SO , you'll see me hunched over my cell phone, trying to surf multiply and
then post via email.
My thumbs are numb
and my fingers hurt.
My eyes are tired of squinting.
But it's all good,
it's all fun !
(I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome.OUCH !)
Stuck Down Under
Vikas
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:39 UTC
Message-id: 705653039S207
Hallelujah !
I can surf the web , but with one caveat .
Since we are anchored off Australia in a remote area called Port Whyalla
(and will be there all month long) , I bought a local sim card, which has 3G
and wap services.
Wap services are virtually free !
SO , you'll see me hunched over my cell phone, trying to surf multiply and
then post via email.
My thumbs are numb
and my fingers hurt.
My eyes are tired of squinting.
But it's all good,
it's all fun !
(I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome.OUCH !)
Stuck Down Under
Vikas
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:39 UTC
Message-id: 705653039S207
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Bell's Theorem
Bell's Theorem is supposed to be highly technical(No, I've not read it),
but in ordinary language it amounts to something like this:
There are no isolated systems: every particle in the universe is
in "instantaneous" (faster-than light)
communication with every other particle. The Whole
System, even the parts that are separated by cosmic distances,
functions as a Whole System.
Now, such faster-than-light communication seems to be
forbidden by Special Relativity, which makes a problem. Bell's
Theorem, however, is inescapable: a theorem in physics is not a
mere "theory"; it is a mathematical demonstration which must be
true, if the mathematics contains no flaw, and if the experiments
on which it is based are replicable. Bell's Theorem contains no
mathematical flaw, and the experiments are replicable and have
been replicated several times.
And yet we cannot dispense with Special Relativity either,
because the mathematics there is equally flawless and the experiments
are legion that confirm it.
Two solutions have been proposed and both assume that the
"communication" involved in Bellian transmissions does not
involve energy, since it is energy that cannot move faster than
light. Dr. Edward Harris Walker suggests that what does move
faster than light, and holds the Whole System together, is "consciousness."
We may eventually be forced to accept this, in
which case physics will have justified pantheism or at least pan psychism !
The other alternative, proposed by Dr. Jack Sarfatti, is
that the medium of Bellian transmissions is information.
Pure information, in the mathematical sense, does not require
energy; it is that which orders energy. It is the negative of
entropy, that which brings disorder to energy systems.
Let us digress a bit and try to understand what 'information' is.
A pattern that it's not random is known mathematically as
information.
Information can also be defined as organization, or as coherence.
Gregory Bateson has defined information as "differences that
make a difference."
Simply put, If you know something already, or can predict it
easily on the basis of what you do know, it is not information for
you. Conversely, if you don't know something, or can't predict
it, it is information.
For example...
Roses are red
Ink is black
Do me a favor
Go sit on a tack !
has more information than
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you !
(Unless the reader has lived in relative isolation from American-
English folk-culture. Otherwise they both would have the same amount of
information assuming that this hypothetical idiot savant can understand
english)
And notice the leap in information as you read...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You think this will rhyme
But it ain't gonna !
The humorous unpredictability of this poem gives it, mathematically,
a higher information level than the predictable Valentine
poem. If this is still obscure, remember
of Bateson's elegant simplification:
"Information is difference that makes a difference."
Information is also known mathematically as negative entropy
or, in a widely used abbreviation, negentropy.
Entropy is a measure of the deadness of a system. Negentropy
or information is a measure of the liveliness of a system.
if you can separate (for the purpose of classification)
the universe as hardware and software, then
Dr. Sarfatti's theory is explained as follows:
Imagine that your brain is a computer, as modern neurology
suggests. Now imagine that the whole universe is a big computer,
a mega-computer, as John Lilly has proposed. Then
imagine that the sub-quantum realm, the realm of what
Dr.David Bohm calls 'hidden variables' is made up of mini-minicomputers.
Now, the hardware of each 'computer'-the universe,
your brain, the sub-quantum mechanisms-is localized.
Each part of it is somewhere in spacetime, here not there, now
not then. But the software-the information-is non-local. It
is here, there and everywhere; now, then and everywhen.
Now I bet you didn't know that ! !
Please reconsider the implications of the interpretations of the Bell's
Theorem and how they affect your understanding of the world.
(source :Prometheus Rising -Robert Anton Wilson)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sun, 07 Dec 2008 00:18 UTC
Message-id: 704787756S35
but in ordinary language it amounts to something like this:
There are no isolated systems: every particle in the universe is
in "instantaneous" (faster-than light)
communication with every other particle. The Whole
System, even the parts that are separated by cosmic distances,
functions as a Whole System.
Now, such faster-than-light communication seems to be
forbidden by Special Relativity, which makes a problem. Bell's
Theorem, however, is inescapable: a theorem in physics is not a
mere "theory"; it is a mathematical demonstration which must be
true, if the mathematics contains no flaw, and if the experiments
on which it is based are replicable. Bell's Theorem contains no
mathematical flaw, and the experiments are replicable and have
been replicated several times.
And yet we cannot dispense with Special Relativity either,
because the mathematics there is equally flawless and the experiments
are legion that confirm it.
Two solutions have been proposed and both assume that the
"communication" involved in Bellian transmissions does not
involve energy, since it is energy that cannot move faster than
light. Dr. Edward Harris Walker suggests that what does move
faster than light, and holds the Whole System together, is "consciousness."
We may eventually be forced to accept this, in
which case physics will have justified pantheism or at least pan psychism !
The other alternative, proposed by Dr. Jack Sarfatti, is
that the medium of Bellian transmissions is information.
Pure information, in the mathematical sense, does not require
energy; it is that which orders energy. It is the negative of
entropy, that which brings disorder to energy systems.
Let us digress a bit and try to understand what 'information' is.
A pattern that it's not random is known mathematically as
information.
Information can also be defined as organization, or as coherence.
Gregory Bateson has defined information as "differences that
make a difference."
Simply put, If you know something already, or can predict it
easily on the basis of what you do know, it is not information for
you. Conversely, if you don't know something, or can't predict
it, it is information.
For example...
Roses are red
Ink is black
Do me a favor
Go sit on a tack !
has more information than
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you !
(Unless the reader has lived in relative isolation from American-
English folk-culture. Otherwise they both would have the same amount of
information assuming that this hypothetical idiot savant can understand
english)
And notice the leap in information as you read...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You think this will rhyme
But it ain't gonna !
The humorous unpredictability of this poem gives it, mathematically,
a higher information level than the predictable Valentine
poem. If this is still obscure, remember
of Bateson's elegant simplification:
"Information is difference that makes a difference."
Information is also known mathematically as negative entropy
or, in a widely used abbreviation, negentropy.
Entropy is a measure of the deadness of a system. Negentropy
or information is a measure of the liveliness of a system.
if you can separate (for the purpose of classification)
the universe as hardware and software, then
Dr. Sarfatti's theory is explained as follows:
Imagine that your brain is a computer, as modern neurology
suggests. Now imagine that the whole universe is a big computer,
a mega-computer, as John Lilly has proposed. Then
imagine that the sub-quantum realm, the realm of what
Dr.David Bohm calls 'hidden variables' is made up of mini-minicomputers.
Now, the hardware of each 'computer'-the universe,
your brain, the sub-quantum mechanisms-is localized.
Each part of it is somewhere in spacetime, here not there, now
not then. But the software-the information-is non-local. It
is here, there and everywhere; now, then and everywhen.
Now I bet you didn't know that ! !
Please reconsider the implications of the interpretations of the Bell's
Theorem and how they affect your understanding of the world.
(source :Prometheus Rising -Robert Anton Wilson)
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sun, 07 Dec 2008 00:18 UTC
Message-id: 704787756S35
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Teacher
A man once said, 'We all begin to die from the moment we are born...some do it faster than the others. All we can do is make the best of what we have'
He had no regrets in life.
He had made love to the most beautiful girl in the world and then held her child, his only son in his hands and then cried in joy. Danced at his son's wedding with the most beautiful bride in the world and years later , had held his
grandson in those very arms which once held his son.
This time though , he did not cry.
He smiled.
He was on his deathbed when he held the baby and thought, 'someone new is going to replace someone old'
Something that 'is' would become 'was', that he would be relegated to the past tense, just as his grandson had come into being from nothingness.
His son gently took the baby off his trembling hands and said,'Thank you for teaching me the difference between knowledge and knowing',and then opened the door to the outside world .There were three hundred morewaiting outside , who had come
to express their gratitude.
He did not die that night .He was too busy receiving the sea of guests whocame in wave after wave to thank him.
Years later people would swear that the man seemed to be lying fast asleep in his casket with a beatific smile on his face.
Perhaps he was.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:58 UTC
Message-id: 704316558S104
He had no regrets in life.
He had made love to the most beautiful girl in the world and then held her child, his only son in his hands and then cried in joy. Danced at his son's wedding with the most beautiful bride in the world and years later , had held his
grandson in those very arms which once held his son.
This time though , he did not cry.
He smiled.
He was on his deathbed when he held the baby and thought, 'someone new is going to replace someone old'
Something that 'is' would become 'was', that he would be relegated to the past tense, just as his grandson had come into being from nothingness.
His son gently took the baby off his trembling hands and said,'Thank you for teaching me the difference between knowledge and knowing',and then opened the door to the outside world .There were three hundred morewaiting outside , who had come
to express their gratitude.
He did not die that night .He was too busy receiving the sea of guests whocame in wave after wave to thank him.
Years later people would swear that the man seemed to be lying fast asleep in his casket with a beatific smile on his face.
Perhaps he was.
Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:58 UTC
Message-id: 704316558S104
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