Dooblay Ontendre

What women say
What women Mean !

I don't think of you in 'that' way.
My goodness, are you ugly and a sexual dud!

 I think of you as a brother! -OR- You remind me of my brother!
 I would consider sex with you to be incest.

The kids were bad today.
Obviously, your genes are defective!

We were both wrong.
 But you were more wrong!

This recipe didn't turn out how I expected.
I burned dinner. Try and complain. I DARE you.

You don't listen to me!
You don't listen to me!

Honey, I HATE to interrupt...
As if you were doing anything more important.

Have you had time to...
Stop what you're doing, get up, and do it RIGHT NOW!

When you get a chance...
Do this immediately!

I hate to nag but...
 I want you to get off the couch now!

Of course I don't mind paying for myself.
Cheap date!

Let's not rush things.
I have other prospects.

I'm not ready to settle down.
 I sure as heck don't want to settle down with YOU!

 I enjoy the single life!
I enjoy not being with YOU!

 I need more space!
 You're becoming undesirable and unattractive.

 I'm focusing on my 'career'.
 My training and studying for my career is extremely boring and tedious yet more exciting then you'll ever be.

Let's just give it some time.
You're not high on my rating list. You're good insurance policy if a better prospect doesn't show up.

I like you, but...
I don't like you at all.

You're not the type of guy I'd date, you're the type of guy I'd marry!
You're sexually a dud. You're not fun to be with. But you are... 'nice'.

Let's Just Be Friends
You'll never see me naked! I'm not attracted to you.

You then say, "No, I have enough friends. Buh-Bye!"

I don't want to ruin our friendship.
 Please continue to remain my girly friend. You make an excellent emotional tampon!

Honesty is very important to me.
Only tell me what I want to hear.

I only like you as a friend.
 I'm not attracted to you.

 You're so manly.
Shave, bathe, discover a thing called S-O-A-P.

Let me check my schedule to see if I'm doing anything.
I have plans. WE do not.

We need...
I want...

Can you call me back? I need to...
I just need an excuse to get off the phone. I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I LIED BLATANTLY TO YOUR FACE. Oh, and have a nice day!

How about you give me YOUR number.
I'll add it to my trophy collection of guy's phone numbers - pathetic guys who want me but I don't want them!

I'm not upset...
I'm upset.

Be romantic and turn out the lights.
I'm not proud of my body.

Do you love me?
I'm going to ask you for something expensive...

Am I fat?
Please tell me I'm beautiful.

I love men who take charge...
Pay the bill, you chump!

 Sure, but I hope you're not disappointed.
 I'm flat chested.

 I'm not that type of girl.
Keep trying. Keep trying.

Don't touch me there!
Touch me there, but I'll stop you a few times first.

Will you respect me in the morning?
You won't tell your friends, right?

 I'm not looking for anyone.
 I'm not looking for anyone LIKE YOU.

We need to talk...
I need to complain!

Do this and you are safe : Nod head, go 'uh huh', smile, repeat.

I need to think about it.
No way.

We have an off and on relationship.
I kept him around until someone BETTER shows up.

Where is this going?
Are we getting married?

No
No

Maybe
No

Let me think about it
No

 I feel like I've known you my entire life!
 Bingo! We have a Bingo! Will someone make sure this prize does not get away from me?

 No
Yes.

Do you have a girlfriend?
You are CUTE! Are you on the market?

Idiot.Thats what all those girls mean when they ask if you have a girlfriend

 You are certainly attentive tonight!
 Is sex ALL you think about?

Do you love me?
Watch me ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
I did something you are NOT going to like.

We need to communicate better.
You need to agree with me more.
Smile, nod head, repeat.

I don’t want to ruin our friendship!
Let me continue to tell you about all the guys I’m sleeping with.

 I want HONESTY. No games!
Tell me what I want to hear.


Do what you want.
You’ll pay for it later.

 I don’t remember how much it costs.
I’ll never tell you it cost a fortune.

 Let’s paint the room!
You paint the room, I’m going shopping. Oh, and don’t make a mess.

 Uh huh
Oh, did you say something? Whatever it was, it must not have been important.

No, take out is fine for dinner.
You cheap bastard!

I want a stable future.
 I need to marry a sugar daddy!

You wouldn’t understand.
I don’t even understand, but I’m not going to tell you that.


 So why did you and your ex break up?
 What is wrong with you?

This guy was STARING at me today. He then came over and asked me out…
She wants YOU to ask her out RIGHT NOW!

(It seems she is talking about other guys, but she is actually trying to convey that she is beautiful and desirable. She wants you to see that because she wants you to ask her out NOW.I used to get irritated when this girl used to do this to me all the time.Only later I realized what she was actually conveying. Well I see girls going  "Well , Duh !")

What do you think of [insert girl’s name]? What do you think about that girl [insert another girl’s name?
Do I have competition?

I don’t want a boyfriend now.
 I don’t want YOU as my boyfriend.

 I don’t know. What do YOU want to do?
I can’t BELIEVE you have nothing planned. !

I’m picky!
There are no dating prospects here!

 I’m VERY picky!
I’m a religious virgin girl, still under the umbrella of her parents, and demand perfection.

 Maybe [insert old woman] thought you were hot!
You are what is hot.

 This apartment is SO inconvenient!
I want a new apartment.

 I want new furniture.
I want new furniture, carpeting, curtains, wallpaper…

I heard a noise!
 I noticed you were asleep.

I’ll be ready in a minute.
Sit back, kick off the shoes, and find a good show.

My ex…
I’m still in love with my ex-boyfriend.

 I like you, but…
I don’t like you.

It is a ‘Girl’s Night’ tonight!
 We’re going to get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

 It’s OK
It’s NOT OK.


 I need space.
…without YOU in it.

I AM NOT YELLING!
This is important.

 Nothing is wrong.
Everything is wrong.

 I DON’T want to talk about it!
I’m still building evidence against you!

I’m an artist!
 I’m unreliable! And I’m poor.

 I’m affectionate!
I’m possessive! And you’ll always be seen as cheating!

I’m an adventurer.
 I’ve had more lovers than you can imagine.



 I’m seeking friends first.
 I’m trying to live down my reputation as a slut.

I’m mature.
 I won’t let you treat me like a farm animal in bed like my last boyfriend.

 I’m open-minded and outgoing.
 I am desperate and loud.

Are you GAY?
Why won’t you go out with me or anyone?