I weel dreenk your blaad !

How does one walk against gale force winds at sea ?
Watch and learn.
First , you grit your teeth.(like this)
Then you clench your jaw(like this)
Now muster up the most manly expression on your salt chapped leathery mug ,replete with a masculine grimace of masochistc pleasurepain (like this)
Now you are ready .
The rest is really simple.
Pray to whoever you want to protect you from the gusts of wind that knock you off your feet.Pray that you are not swept crashing  overboard by a giant wave , never to be found again.
Pray once more and hold on to something solid with a rigor mortis grip , and never let go.
And then trudge ahead grudgingly , pushing and fighting against an invisible barrier made out of intangible air, swearing uselessly at the winds for howling past you like screaming banshees out of hell .
It's that easy.
Trust me.
I know.
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WEAK MORTAL FOOL !

HOW DARE YOU EMPTY YOUR INNARDS IN MY PRESENCE ?

Ah ! the perverse pleasure of seeing someone heave and retch and puke his guts out and then gasp for air.

THY WEAKNESS DISGUSTS ME !

I WEEL DREENK YOUR BLAAD ! BWAHAHAHA !

Ah ! the immense feeling of relative superiority you feel at that instant...

Every ship has six degrees of freedom when freely afloat at sea.
They are :- Rolling, pitching , surging, swaying,yawing, heaving.Let us collectively call them rollingpitching for the sake of ease.

A ship undergoes all these six types of motions  when out at sea, in varying degrees of severity depending on the wind , waves and swell.

When the weather goes bad at sea two things happen.
1)The ship rolls and pitches in a degree that is directly proportional to    the inclemency of the weather.
2)People get seasick.

                                              It takes a lot to get a seafarer sick.
Your everyday garden variety rollingpitching will not get him seasick .He is used to that sort of thing.Take the inclemency a notch or two up (Visualise "The Perfect Storm") and then see the fun.

("Sick as a seasick seafarer ,sick as a seasick seafarer".... say that ten times very quickly )

                                     A family of lows(low pressure areas) loom north of us nearly 300 miles away.The resultant effect is huge 20 foot waves and swells relentlessly tossing the ship like a weightless ragdoll.
My colleague, the seasick seafarer, the poor fella , has to keep his navigational watch on bridge for four hours , and the ship is rollingpitching helplessly at the mercy of neptune's fury.
"Vikas , dont talk to me , dont even look at me " he says , looking miserably spent , awfully wasted
"Vikas, dont even look out, I can't ...OOooorrghhh...AAaaaarrgghhh....hwaaaack gaaack"(Thats the best I could capture the sound of retching)
And then he covered his mouth with both his hands and ran towards the nearest toilet to empty out his stomach juices and half digested food .
Poor guy .
I felt pity & revulsion at the same time.

Me ? I thought ...I'm different.
I belong to the sea as she belongs to me.

Forever , made for each other.

I 've been out at sea since I was an infant(I embarked on my maiden voyage was when I was 3 months old , I'm told, where I was yanked onboard by my hair by the boatswain, when  he nearly lost his grip on me as the ship had unexpectedly rolled at anchor).

       The proof of my seaworthiness in my salty bones and rusty blood  & sea chapped leathery skin (Which I moisturize daily ).
                            In fact , my parents like to remind me every once in a while (much to my embarrassment) that I was conceived out at sea , somewhere near Romania.( No wonder I aIways feel like saying I weeel Dreeenk Your Blaaad ! Bwahahaha !)

                                         Romania ... Dad winks at me repeatedly when he tells his version of the story.The wintery chilly romance (wink , wink), the lonely lonely locales(wink, wink)..., the splendidness of sensual isolation (wink, wink, wink)...  
 DAD ! Stop winking ...I GET IT, I GET IT !
You and mom , mom and you , I GET IT !  
(God ,  don't make me visualize it and be traumatized for the rest of my life)
                     Mom has her own version.She goes into nostalgia mode. Mom's eyes go misty and glaze over.They go blind to the present and open the windows to the past.
                          Memories of the first sight of snow, memories of walking on slippery ice , wearing long johns and layers of sweaters, silly snow boots,slipping and falling hard and laughingcrying at the same time, memories of her first snow fight, the taste of snow...the rambunctiousness and the  warm hospitality of the rosy cheeked romanians,how they liked her bindi, and how they all sang their favourite raj kapoor hindi song...

             Although these shoes are japani...
              this pantaloon englishstani...
             this red hat that is roosi...
             My heart remains hindoostani...
             Phir bhi dil hai hindoostani...
             Phir bhi dil hai hindoostani.

Some memories are meant to be forever.

Perhaps it was their stories that  laid the foundation for my untethered life , my quest to find solace in neptune's abode.
I can only surmise...
             
The proof is in the pudding.
Here's some pudding.
 When the weather goes bad , two things hapen to me
1) If the ship rolls I get sleepy.(possibly due to natal memories of the soothing rocking and rolling)
2)If the ship pitches I get ravenously hungry.(I don't know why).I eat a lot. A  LOT !
Its physics actually.
The free surface effect of an empty tank  is large and potentially destructive.When you fill up the tank with ballast or cargo , the free surface effect becomes nil.
So this is what I do. I fill up my tank of a stomach to its bursting limit when the ship begins its danse macabre of rollingpitching and then watch the sea in her various moods .

                                                           So today , when the ship was rollingpitching , like a big bucking bronco out of control , I just made sure that I had a heavy meal (today we had chinese noodles and biryani) so that I can enjoy the ride for the next four hours.
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I up and realized the malleable nature of dreams...the subtle ways in which they are altered by external factors.
The ship was rollingpitching violently , shudderring and groaning and fluttering in the most  unhuman ways, and there I was asleep and dreaming  and knowing that I was dreaming (it's called lucid dreaming dumbo !)
As the ship pitched violently , In my dream our ship had capsized (Much like in the movie posiedon) and I noted sadly that I did not panic.My first reaction as the ship capsized was to grab a lifejacket and head for high ground , in a totally calm and detached manner.
What was weird was , I always thought I'd panic in such situations, maybe even shit in my pants.I don't.I'm surprised .I'm impressed.

I guess I don't really know myself as well as I think I do.
But then , who really does ?