Aspire

What are your hobbies ?
Um...er...well...
                    I can't dance ! I say.

She finds it funny and somewhat expected.Women somehow expect men to be bad at dancing.
Hey ! Glad to fit the stereotype !

                                                 Lets hear what other people have to say about my stellar dancing skills :  People have said that when I dance I look like an armless man with an itch up his crotch .
(Take some time to digest that and visualize an armless man with an itch in the crotch.It is not funny.At least not for the armless guy)

                        I've heard one even saying that I dance with all the grace of a thousand one legged scarecrows, and he claims he was putting it mildly.
                            I can sing though .
                                        I sing and I badly play my guitar.People say I'm okay , that I don't make them run screaming in pain (like when I blinded them with my crotch-itch-one-legged-scarecrow dance) ...and then I've broken my wrist once , punching a punching bag filled with sand...
                                            (try sawdust numbnuts !...its what others fill it with !)

 ...and injured my achilles tendon delivering a spinning heel kick to the same punching bag...and in my defense , I was practising karate , or whatever I knew of it.

...Aaaaaaand sometimes I write.

Her  eyes widen imperceptibly.

You a poet ? she asks.

No No , I'm not a poet, I say vehemently denying such an allegation.

                          I say  I write short stories , try to make them funny , add in experiences that might be unique to some people, and basically write stuff that people would like to read to pass their time, but no , I don't write poetry.

Nosirreebob!

(Its better to lie that you don't write poetry than to admit that you write crappy poetry, atleast that's what I think.)

What do you aspire to be ?

I aspire to be an aspiring writer.

I know , I know , it sounds so smart alecky , but that's the truth.

                                          Hey ,I want to keep my day job honey! It's an honest living , and I make decent money and best of all I get to say "Arrr Matey , down the sails and avast those landlubbers ! "

 Now that's a job worth keeping.

Arrrrrr... matey !

I enjoy writing.
Writing's not the way though.At least for me.

Why ?

What I lack is the discipline to complete.

After the initial burst of inspiration , somewhere down the line, everything goes pfft ! like moisture dampening  a cracker fuse.It is almost impossible for me to  continue and complete after the pfft ! point.

The pfft ! point is not something new.Everyone goes through it , but some see through it by the sheer force of their will.

For me though it is hard to sustain enthusiasm for a long time .

But hey , I'm not strangling my dreams by  choosing this life.I write whenever I want to , I sing whenever I want to and ...well I don't punch and kick whenever I want to, because there was this incident involving the drunk longshoreman and the doberman pinscher and...well , I'll tell the rest of the story some other time.

I guess , if I were a writer , I'd churn out stuff like this , just to keep some bank balance.

"Thank you for choosing _ made only from premium quality fresh milk .
 _ comes from happy healthy prime dairy cows living in the cool highlands of East java on one of Asia's most technologically advanced dairy farms.
This milk is prepared using modern automatic milking technology ensuring the quality , freshness and premium fresh milk taste.'

In other words -A COMPLETE SELLOUT .

What a load of crap.
"Happy Healthy prime dairy cows ?"
 Call no cow happy till it has a milking machine sucking it's udder off.
I know ...what a load of ...but that's the kind of writer I'd be if I wanted monetary gains , but by selling my soul.
I can't do that.
So for the time being , let me aspire to be an aspiring writer.