Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Horoscope ?
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures, and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you'll never get rid of that irritating wobble.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will have the eerie sensation that either you are going crazy or you are being watched by something indescribably evil. Luckily for you, you're in fine shape, mentally.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to go out and play in the mud. Or at least, find some way of making squishy sounds.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich today, and a bowl of tomato soup. When nobody is looking you will secretly dunk your sandwich. You never tire of the wild life, do you?
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will join the political action group "Whiners For Peace", and will call up your senator's office and whine at them. Don't forget to sign up for the big "Pout Out" next month!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you'll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that'll hurt.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will see a free floating full torso vaporous apparition! It'll turn out that your glasses are smudged.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
In a daring intellectual coup, you will translate a collection of Zen koans from Chinese directly into Jive, in an attempt to combine the best elements of philosophical thought and emotion. You will title the collection "Yo Mama By The River."
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be buffeted by hordes of people, who will all simultaneously show up in your office "just to chat." Eventually, you will make your escape by locking yourself in the bathroom.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to correct the situation.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will be visited by missionaries today, and will finally have an excellent opportunity to slip into your demon costume before opening the door.
Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures, and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you'll never get rid of that irritating wobble.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will have the eerie sensation that either you are going crazy or you are being watched by something indescribably evil. Luckily for you, you're in fine shape, mentally.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to go out and play in the mud. Or at least, find some way of making squishy sounds.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich today, and a bowl of tomato soup. When nobody is looking you will secretly dunk your sandwich. You never tire of the wild life, do you?
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will join the political action group "Whiners For Peace", and will call up your senator's office and whine at them. Don't forget to sign up for the big "Pout Out" next month!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you'll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that'll hurt.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will see a free floating full torso vaporous apparition! It'll turn out that your glasses are smudged.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
In a daring intellectual coup, you will translate a collection of Zen koans from Chinese directly into Jive, in an attempt to combine the best elements of philosophical thought and emotion. You will title the collection "Yo Mama By The River."
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be buffeted by hordes of people, who will all simultaneously show up in your office "just to chat." Eventually, you will make your escape by locking yourself in the bathroom.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to correct the situation.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will be visited by missionaries today, and will finally have an excellent opportunity to slip into your demon costume before opening the door.
Do Men Like Naked Ladies? DUH !
Do Men Like Naked Ladies?
This is not a scientific study. It’s merely an account of discussions we men heard among soldiers in barracks, at work, at parties, and in taverns, but mostly barracks. Soldiers discuss women more than anything else, and that’s what this is about.
On the old Benny Hill Show, there was once a skit where two guys are lying in front of a beach change house. A woman, fully dressed, is lying in a deck chair in front of the beach house, and the two men are looking “up her dress.” Presently the woman gets up, goes in the change house, comes out in a very skimpy bikini, and gets back into the deck chair. The men frown, snap their fingers in disappointment, and move on.
Benny Hill had it right. Many (maybe most) men would rather get a peek at something they’re not supposed to see than to get a full view of same when it’s on public display. (This is not to say that men don’t appreciate a pretty girl in a bikini--they do indeed.)
Everyone knows that men like to ogle naked females. There are, however, a great number of men that aren’t turned on by the form of a naked female. They’d much rather see a gal in tight jeans, a revealing gown, short shorts, or a mini skirt. In a strip show, most guys are excited more by the act of stripping than the finish--when the gal is stripped.
But the average guy will show a “wow!” reaction, to a naked female. Why? Simply because it’s expected of him (see the first sentence in the preceding paragraph.) This can be likened to the reaction of an asexual male in a group of normal males when a pretty girl strolls by. The asexual male will show a “wow!” reaction to the girl--simply because it’s expected of him.
Same goes for big boobs. Many--maybe most-- men are not turned on by big boobs. But here again, they will show a “wow!” reaction because it’s expected of them (everybody knows that men like big boobs.) From what I’ve gathered, at least as many guys like small, firm boobs better than big floppy ones. In addition, a significant number of guys simply are not “boob men.” You have “butt men” and “leg men” as well.
It seems that women are more concerned about boobs than men are. Women are concerned about their boob size perhaps because of the “wow!” reaction of men, many of whom are “wowing” because it’s expected of them. Also, boobs get a lot of hype in movies and on TV. Of course, there are guys who like humongous boobs, just as there are some guys who like to ogle naked ladies.
A group of men who work together and live together, as soldiers in a barracks, are more honest with each other about their feelings. Particularly when they’re drinking. They are more apt to admit their true likes and dislikes about gals.
Other things that turn guys on: VPL (visible panty line), slit skirts, or undies of just about any description.
On one of the sitcoms, there was a skit where a guy was introduced to a sexy girl wearing very revealing clothes. After the girl leaves, someone remarks that the girl had beautiful eyes, and the guy said something like “Oh, did she have eyes?”
Actually, the one part of a woman that is most attractive to most men is...the face. Believe it or not. Time and again guys say things like “from the neck down she was a knockout, but her face was just so so.”
What’s the first thing about a gal that attracts a guy? I think I’ll get very little argument that it’s the gal’s looks. There are exceptions, but to most guys looks are most important--at first. But later, other things will begin to take on more importance, such as personality, temperament, and sex appeal. After a guy gets to know two gals, he may well choose the shy one over the outgoing one who is prettier. Or the outgoing gal over the pretty but shy gal.
Compatibility also will come into play later. Does she like sports? What kind of music? Animals? And so on.
Of course, guys come in all types, and there are types to whom nothing else matters or ever will matter but looks and boobs and willingness to hop in bed. If I were a gal, I’d go out of my way to avoid this guy.
What is sex appeal? It’s something you can’t describe. No way. Looks have nothing to do with it. Merely looking sexy is not sex appeal. I’ve heard guys say over and over that they don’t know what it is about a plain looking gal that turns them on. I’ve been affected that way, and so have most men, I guess. Gals can make themselves prettier. And more sexy looking. But they can’t do anything about sex appeal. It’s there or it isn’t.
Many women like to say that “all men are alike.” Far from true.
All men are different. In fact, I don’t think that there are any two men exactly alike. It has been said that nothing is true of all men. So true.
Finally, I’d like to reiterate: This is not a scientific study. It’s merely an account of discussions I heard (for twenty years) among soldiers in barracks, at work, at parties, and in taverns. Soldiers discuss women more than anything else, and that’s what this was about.
This is not a scientific study. It’s merely an account of discussions we men heard among soldiers in barracks, at work, at parties, and in taverns, but mostly barracks. Soldiers discuss women more than anything else, and that’s what this is about.
On the old Benny Hill Show, there was once a skit where two guys are lying in front of a beach change house. A woman, fully dressed, is lying in a deck chair in front of the beach house, and the two men are looking “up her dress.” Presently the woman gets up, goes in the change house, comes out in a very skimpy bikini, and gets back into the deck chair. The men frown, snap their fingers in disappointment, and move on.
Benny Hill had it right. Many (maybe most) men would rather get a peek at something they’re not supposed to see than to get a full view of same when it’s on public display. (This is not to say that men don’t appreciate a pretty girl in a bikini--they do indeed.)
Everyone knows that men like to ogle naked females. There are, however, a great number of men that aren’t turned on by the form of a naked female. They’d much rather see a gal in tight jeans, a revealing gown, short shorts, or a mini skirt. In a strip show, most guys are excited more by the act of stripping than the finish--when the gal is stripped.
But the average guy will show a “wow!” reaction, to a naked female. Why? Simply because it’s expected of him (see the first sentence in the preceding paragraph.) This can be likened to the reaction of an asexual male in a group of normal males when a pretty girl strolls by. The asexual male will show a “wow!” reaction to the girl--simply because it’s expected of him.
Same goes for big boobs. Many--maybe most-- men are not turned on by big boobs. But here again, they will show a “wow!” reaction because it’s expected of them (everybody knows that men like big boobs.) From what I’ve gathered, at least as many guys like small, firm boobs better than big floppy ones. In addition, a significant number of guys simply are not “boob men.” You have “butt men” and “leg men” as well.
It seems that women are more concerned about boobs than men are. Women are concerned about their boob size perhaps because of the “wow!” reaction of men, many of whom are “wowing” because it’s expected of them. Also, boobs get a lot of hype in movies and on TV. Of course, there are guys who like humongous boobs, just as there are some guys who like to ogle naked ladies.
A group of men who work together and live together, as soldiers in a barracks, are more honest with each other about their feelings. Particularly when they’re drinking. They are more apt to admit their true likes and dislikes about gals.
Other things that turn guys on: VPL (visible panty line), slit skirts, or undies of just about any description.
On one of the sitcoms, there was a skit where a guy was introduced to a sexy girl wearing very revealing clothes. After the girl leaves, someone remarks that the girl had beautiful eyes, and the guy said something like “Oh, did she have eyes?”
Actually, the one part of a woman that is most attractive to most men is...the face. Believe it or not. Time and again guys say things like “from the neck down she was a knockout, but her face was just so so.”
What’s the first thing about a gal that attracts a guy? I think I’ll get very little argument that it’s the gal’s looks. There are exceptions, but to most guys looks are most important--at first. But later, other things will begin to take on more importance, such as personality, temperament, and sex appeal. After a guy gets to know two gals, he may well choose the shy one over the outgoing one who is prettier. Or the outgoing gal over the pretty but shy gal.
Compatibility also will come into play later. Does she like sports? What kind of music? Animals? And so on.
Of course, guys come in all types, and there are types to whom nothing else matters or ever will matter but looks and boobs and willingness to hop in bed. If I were a gal, I’d go out of my way to avoid this guy.
What is sex appeal? It’s something you can’t describe. No way. Looks have nothing to do with it. Merely looking sexy is not sex appeal. I’ve heard guys say over and over that they don’t know what it is about a plain looking gal that turns them on. I’ve been affected that way, and so have most men, I guess. Gals can make themselves prettier. And more sexy looking. But they can’t do anything about sex appeal. It’s there or it isn’t.
Many women like to say that “all men are alike.” Far from true.
All men are different. In fact, I don’t think that there are any two men exactly alike. It has been said that nothing is true of all men. So true.
Finally, I’d like to reiterate: This is not a scientific study. It’s merely an account of discussions I heard (for twenty years) among soldiers in barracks, at work, at parties, and in taverns. Soldiers discuss women more than anything else, and that’s what this was about.
How to tell your friend his cat's dead
How to tell your friend his cat's dead
let me start by saying, i own a cat, love my pet, and wouldn't ever do anything to hurt it. With that said....
My friend was watching a mutual friend's cat while he was on vacation. Before he left, he warned that the cat was old (21 years old), and not doing so hot. He suspected that he was ready to die. Sure enough, the cat died on the last day of vacation. My friend asked me how he should tell him. I gave him these options to break the news.
1) "i've got good news and i've got bad news. bad news is, your cat's dead. the good news is that i saved a lot on my car insurance."
2) "hey, you're out of milk, the chips are stale, your cats dead, and the light bulb in the bathroom needs to be changed."
3) (when they walk into the apartment) *sniff* *sniff* "you smell dead cat??"
4) Leave a suicide note next to the cat with a finished bag of catnip mentioning how boring the sitter was.
5) "Are you still interested in those taxidermy classes?"
6) Get rid of the cat, draw a chalk out line, put up police tape all over the place, and act stupid.
7) "Will everyone with a live cat please step forward.....not so fast buddy."
8) "you have a couple messages: your mom called, she wants you to call her back; your landlord said the rent is late; your cat said 'bye'."
9) (when he picks him up from the airport)
sitter: Let's play a game....Dead or human?
owner: huh? ok.
sitter: you ?
owner: human
sitter: me ?
owner: human
sitter: your cat?
owner: huh ?!?!?
10) owner: thanks for watching the place. where are my keys ?
sitter: oh, they're under your dead cat.
let me start by saying, i own a cat, love my pet, and wouldn't ever do anything to hurt it. With that said....
My friend was watching a mutual friend's cat while he was on vacation. Before he left, he warned that the cat was old (21 years old), and not doing so hot. He suspected that he was ready to die. Sure enough, the cat died on the last day of vacation. My friend asked me how he should tell him. I gave him these options to break the news.
1) "i've got good news and i've got bad news. bad news is, your cat's dead. the good news is that i saved a lot on my car insurance."
2) "hey, you're out of milk, the chips are stale, your cats dead, and the light bulb in the bathroom needs to be changed."
3) (when they walk into the apartment) *sniff* *sniff* "you smell dead cat??"
4) Leave a suicide note next to the cat with a finished bag of catnip mentioning how boring the sitter was.
5) "Are you still interested in those taxidermy classes?"
6) Get rid of the cat, draw a chalk out line, put up police tape all over the place, and act stupid.
7) "Will everyone with a live cat please step forward.....not so fast buddy."
8) "you have a couple messages: your mom called, she wants you to call her back; your landlord said the rent is late; your cat said 'bye'."
9) (when he picks him up from the airport)
sitter: Let's play a game....Dead or human?
owner: huh? ok.
sitter: you ?
owner: human
sitter: me ?
owner: human
sitter: your cat?
owner: huh ?!?!?
10) owner: thanks for watching the place. where are my keys ?
sitter: oh, they're under your dead cat.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
How to seduce your boss !
First . a disclaimer :Seducing your boss is an ill advised activity. But if you are intent on picking up your boss, here's our guide to seducing them. This is for all you people who want to improve your in office relationships and take it to the next level...Also for the bored !
VideoJug: How To Seduce Your Boss
VideoJug: How To Seduce Your Boss
Straight Is the New Gay
Straight Is the New Gay
In a world where metrosexuals--stylish, well-groomed, and sharply dressed men--have taken the center stage in defining the new masculinity, small pockets of men are starting to emerge, rebelling against the status quo. This new breed of man has rejected a lifestyle of wine tasting, pedicures, and excessive cultural awareness (i.e., any cultural awareness). This newly born response to metrosexuality is gaining momentum like never before, calling back to a day when men proudly wore plaid, ate liver and onions, and smelled like motor oil by choice. This modern man has come to be known simply as: the hetrosexual.
Hetrosexual men aren't afraid embrace their masculinity. They eat, drink, and sleep like real men: fully engorged. There's no such thing as a "fashion faux-pas" in the world of hetrosexuality. In fact, even the use of the phrase "faux-pas" draws the ire of the hetrosexual man in the form of beatings and social isolation (preferably both). These are men who refuse to be pigeonholed into the constraints of sexual ambiguity, and gladly welcome every opportunity to crotch-wrestle a hot babe. Hetrosexuals are making it cool to be straight again; straight is the new gay.
Think you might be a hetrosexual? Take the following quiz to find out:
1. How much should you tip a hairstylist?
A) 10%
B) 15%
C) 20%
If you answered, you're wrong. Hetrosexuals don't go to hair stylists.
2. Cologne?
A) Yes
B) No
The correct answer is B) No. Acceptable fragrances for men are: sweat, grease, rum, or some combination thereof.
3. Which language do you speak?
A) French
B) English
C) Both
D) Neither
The answer is B) English. French is the language of love, and men don't love anything. At best, there are varying degrees of "like," and even then, men don't like anything that much.
4. When dining at restaurant, you should
A) Push aside your friends and wrestle over the best seat
B) Wait until the maitre d' seats you
C) What's a maitre d'?
The correct answer is A and C. A, because if you don't secure the best spot at the table, you may find yourself in the position of having to engage in small talk with your guest. And C, because of the answer to question 3 above.
If you answered all of the questions correctly, congratulations: you are the winner. The important thing to keep in mind is that you are a man (unless you are not), and nobody can take that away from you.
by Maddox
In a world where metrosexuals--stylish, well-groomed, and sharply dressed men--have taken the center stage in defining the new masculinity, small pockets of men are starting to emerge, rebelling against the status quo. This new breed of man has rejected a lifestyle of wine tasting, pedicures, and excessive cultural awareness (i.e., any cultural awareness). This newly born response to metrosexuality is gaining momentum like never before, calling back to a day when men proudly wore plaid, ate liver and onions, and smelled like motor oil by choice. This modern man has come to be known simply as: the hetrosexual.
Hetrosexual men aren't afraid embrace their masculinity. They eat, drink, and sleep like real men: fully engorged. There's no such thing as a "fashion faux-pas" in the world of hetrosexuality. In fact, even the use of the phrase "faux-pas" draws the ire of the hetrosexual man in the form of beatings and social isolation (preferably both). These are men who refuse to be pigeonholed into the constraints of sexual ambiguity, and gladly welcome every opportunity to crotch-wrestle a hot babe. Hetrosexuals are making it cool to be straight again; straight is the new gay.
Think you might be a hetrosexual? Take the following quiz to find out:
1. How much should you tip a hairstylist?
A) 10%
B) 15%
C) 20%
If you answered, you're wrong. Hetrosexuals don't go to hair stylists.
2. Cologne?
A) Yes
B) No
The correct answer is B) No. Acceptable fragrances for men are: sweat, grease, rum, or some combination thereof.
3. Which language do you speak?
A) French
B) English
C) Both
D) Neither
The answer is B) English. French is the language of love, and men don't love anything. At best, there are varying degrees of "like," and even then, men don't like anything that much.
4. When dining at restaurant, you should
A) Push aside your friends and wrestle over the best seat
B) Wait until the maitre d' seats you
C) What's a maitre d'?
The correct answer is A and C. A, because if you don't secure the best spot at the table, you may find yourself in the position of having to engage in small talk with your guest. And C, because of the answer to question 3 above.
If you answered all of the questions correctly, congratulations: you are the winner. The important thing to keep in mind is that you are a man (unless you are not), and nobody can take that away from you.
by Maddox
Monday, October 29, 2007
A woman's guide to looking good in the buff
There isn't a man's guide , because it simply isn't possible.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
96% of women are liars, honest
NINETEEN out of 20 women admit lying to their partners or husbands, a survey on attitudes to truth and relationships has found.
Eighty-three per cent owned up to telling "big, life-changing lies", with 13 per cent saying they did so frequently.
Half said that if they became pregnant by another man but wanted to stay with their partner, they would lie about the baby’s real father.
Forty-two per cent would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, no matter the wishes of their partner.
And an alarming 31 per cent said they would not tell a future partner if they had a sexual disease: this rises to 65 per cent among single women.
In the poll of 5,000 women for That’s Life! magazine, 45 per cent said they told "little white lies" most days. The favourite untruth was "of course you don’t look fat", with "these shoes were only £10" in second place.
Jo Checkley, the editor of That’s Life! , said that while many women now lied to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings, covering up the truth about a baby could have far more damaging consequences.
She said: "Modern women just can’t stop lying, but they do it to stop hurting other people’s feelings. It could be argued that these little white lies simply make the world go round a little more smoothly. But to tell a man a baby is his when it’s not, or to deliberately get pregnant when your partner doesn’t want a baby, is playing Russian roulette with other people’s lives."
The National Scruples and Lies Survey 2004 found plenty of untruths were told over the Christmas period. A total of 78 per cent said they would pass off a second-hand gift as a brand new present, while half have lied about a Christmas card being "lost in the post".
Women will also lie to save people’s feelings, with only 27 per cent saying they would tell a man if he was hopeless in bed (although a third would tell their friends all about it).
Just over half would flatter a man if he asked them about his looks and only 46 per cent would give the "brutal truth". However, 61 per cent of women would want their partners to be "brutally honest" if they asked them "do I look fat?" or "do you think my best friend’s attractive?"
Elsewhere, 54 per cent admitted stealing sweets or chocolates; 23 per cent would "sneak a bottle or two" home if they were invited to a party by a well-off friend; 49 per cent would "kiss and tell" to the media for £25,000 if they had a one-night stand with a celebrity; and 38 per cent say they would marry purely for money.
Nearly half said they had faked orgasms and 55 per cent admitted claiming they were tired, had a headache, or felt ill to "get out of lovemaking".
Nineteen per cent of women with a long-term partner said they had cheated on him, while 30 per cent of all women have had an affair with a married man. Sixty-eight per cent said they did not trust their partner.
As far as trustworthy personalities are concerned, the woman with "the most honest face" was Fern Britton, the This Morning host. She was followed by the singer Kerry Katona (formerly McFadden), Sharon Osbourne of The X Factor and the Queen.
The "most honest male face" jointly went to Ant and Dec, the presenters of I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here!, with Prince William second.
The results come in the wake of the controversy surrounding David Blunkett, the Home Secretary, and his former lover, the publisher Kimberly Quinn. They had a child, but she kept details of the affair secret from her husband Stephen, even taking her son to Corfu for a week’s holiday to bond with him this year.
Mr Quinn accepted his wife’s story, but she had covered up the fact she was accompanied by Mr Blunkett.
• The survey questioned 5,000 women, average age 38, across Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Top ten porkies
That’s Life! magazine has carried out its National Scruples and Lies Survey 2004 to find out the top ten lies told by women. They are:
1. "Of course you don’t look fat!"
2. "These shoes were only £10."
3. "The bus/train was late."
4. "I’ve got a headache."
5. "I’ve only had one drink."
6. "That dress looks good on you."
7. "The cheque’s in the post."
8. "You look ten years younger."
9. "You’re wonderful in bed."
10. "I love you."
Finally , to all Women: Thank You for Lying .
Eighty-three per cent owned up to telling "big, life-changing lies", with 13 per cent saying they did so frequently.
Half said that if they became pregnant by another man but wanted to stay with their partner, they would lie about the baby’s real father.
Forty-two per cent would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, no matter the wishes of their partner.
And an alarming 31 per cent said they would not tell a future partner if they had a sexual disease: this rises to 65 per cent among single women.
In the poll of 5,000 women for That’s Life! magazine, 45 per cent said they told "little white lies" most days. The favourite untruth was "of course you don’t look fat", with "these shoes were only £10" in second place.
Jo Checkley, the editor of That’s Life! , said that while many women now lied to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings, covering up the truth about a baby could have far more damaging consequences.
She said: "Modern women just can’t stop lying, but they do it to stop hurting other people’s feelings. It could be argued that these little white lies simply make the world go round a little more smoothly. But to tell a man a baby is his when it’s not, or to deliberately get pregnant when your partner doesn’t want a baby, is playing Russian roulette with other people’s lives."
The National Scruples and Lies Survey 2004 found plenty of untruths were told over the Christmas period. A total of 78 per cent said they would pass off a second-hand gift as a brand new present, while half have lied about a Christmas card being "lost in the post".
Women will also lie to save people’s feelings, with only 27 per cent saying they would tell a man if he was hopeless in bed (although a third would tell their friends all about it).
Just over half would flatter a man if he asked them about his looks and only 46 per cent would give the "brutal truth". However, 61 per cent of women would want their partners to be "brutally honest" if they asked them "do I look fat?" or "do you think my best friend’s attractive?"
Elsewhere, 54 per cent admitted stealing sweets or chocolates; 23 per cent would "sneak a bottle or two" home if they were invited to a party by a well-off friend; 49 per cent would "kiss and tell" to the media for £25,000 if they had a one-night stand with a celebrity; and 38 per cent say they would marry purely for money.
Nearly half said they had faked orgasms and 55 per cent admitted claiming they were tired, had a headache, or felt ill to "get out of lovemaking".
Nineteen per cent of women with a long-term partner said they had cheated on him, while 30 per cent of all women have had an affair with a married man. Sixty-eight per cent said they did not trust their partner.
As far as trustworthy personalities are concerned, the woman with "the most honest face" was Fern Britton, the This Morning host. She was followed by the singer Kerry Katona (formerly McFadden), Sharon Osbourne of The X Factor and the Queen.
The "most honest male face" jointly went to Ant and Dec, the presenters of I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here!, with Prince William second.
The results come in the wake of the controversy surrounding David Blunkett, the Home Secretary, and his former lover, the publisher Kimberly Quinn. They had a child, but she kept details of the affair secret from her husband Stephen, even taking her son to Corfu for a week’s holiday to bond with him this year.
Mr Quinn accepted his wife’s story, but she had covered up the fact she was accompanied by Mr Blunkett.
• The survey questioned 5,000 women, average age 38, across Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Top ten porkies
That’s Life! magazine has carried out its National Scruples and Lies Survey 2004 to find out the top ten lies told by women. They are:
1. "Of course you don’t look fat!"
2. "These shoes were only £10."
3. "The bus/train was late."
4. "I’ve got a headache."
5. "I’ve only had one drink."
6. "That dress looks good on you."
7. "The cheque’s in the post."
8. "You look ten years younger."
9. "You’re wonderful in bed."
10. "I love you."
Finally , to all Women: Thank You for Lying .
No Smoking
| Rating: | ★★ |
| Category: | Movies |
| Genre: | Other |
Wasn't he good in his last movie?
He's Baaaaack !
No Smoking is a surreal comedy/psychological thriller/horror movie.Thats the best way to categorize this movie.
Lets move onto the story...K (and only K) , our protagonist(John Abraham) is a chain smoker.
His wife Anjali , who leads a dual life as his sultry secretary Annie, wants him to quit .
He resists and frowns.
She pouts an ultimatum ...and K finally relents.
Bad Move K, BAAAD MOVE !
K is sucked into "Prayogshala" , a de-addiction centre run by Baba Guru Ghantal Baba Bengali and he faces the harsh consequenvces of deviating from the path of redemption.
I don't smoke...Its my personal opinion that all smokers are selectively stupid.The next time you see a smoker smoking , take my advice , do not lecture or rant , simply give him another cigar , light it up , and get the fuck out of there...Let the bastard kill himself.
The storyline of this movie is extremely visual , surreal and filled with long pauses and metaphors.We have tinnitus's , finger amputations , kidnap , torture and even a bunch of santas roaming in mumbai.
Q: If a bunch of eleves are called "Subordinate Clauses " , what are a bunch of santas called?
Acting:
John is perfectly suited for this movie , just the way Arnold was for "Terminator".
John has no acting skills and luckily for him , the movie does not need them.
I'm wondering if John being K and his brother being J , and john's penchant for wearing suits in sweltering mumbai might be a sly tribute to MIB.
Ayesha...lose some weight ...puhleeeeze !
Ranvir Shorey is crazy as intended.
Paresh rawal is not as menacing as he could have been.
Viewers are suggested to watch Stephen King's "Quitter's Inc." before actually watching this movie.Also recommended:Tales from the Crypt
As for the commercial success...this movie is too surreal and the Aam Junta is too stupid to make this movie a box office hit.
Do you want proof that Aam Junta is stupid?
Proof: Partner is this year's biggest hit.
Nuf said !
When the movie ended , most of the Aam Junta walked out feeling disoriented.Me on the other hand ...I ended up laughing hard at the absurdity !
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Daddies' Girls Choose Men Just Like Their Fathers
Daddies' Girls Choose Men Just Like Their Fathers
Women who enjoy good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners who resemble their dads research suggests. In contrast, the team of psychologists from Durham University and two Polish institutions revealed that women who have negative or less positive relationships were not attracted to men who looked like their male parents.
The researchers used facial measurements [right] to give a clear view of how fathers' facial features relate directly to the features of faces their daughters find attractive.
Due to be published in the July issue of Evolution and Human Behaviour, the study investigated evidence of parental sexual imprinting, the sexual preference for individuals possessing parental characteristics, in women. The team used facial measurements to give a clear view of how fathers' facial features relate directly to the features of faces their daughters find attractive.
The study, supported in part by the Economic and Social Research Council and The Royal Society, helps shed further light on how we choose partners and the impact of a parent's role in this process, which until recently researchers believed to be a passive one. It adds to growing theories that suggest sexual imprinting is an active process which involves the relationship between the child and the adult upon whom they imprint. This reveals the importance of parental relationships in partner selection, which could move studies in areas like evolutionary biology, fertility and genetics a step forward and offer new insights in areas such as relationship counselling and psychology.
Author Dr Lynda Boothroyd of Durham University explains: "While previous research has suggested this to be the case, these controlled results show for certain that the quality of a daughter's relationship with her father has an impact on whom she finds attractive. It shows our human brains don't simply build prototypes of the ideal face based on those we see around us, rather they build them based on those to whom we have a strongly positive relationship. We can now say that daughters who have very positive childhood relationships with their fathers choose men with similar central facial characteristics to their fathers."
Well known 'daddies' girls' such as Nigella Lawson and Zoe Ball back up these findings. A comparison of pictures of Charles Saatchi with Nigel Lawson and Norman Cook with Johnny Ball reveals some close correlations, especially in the central facial area, including the nose, chin and eyes.
The study used a sample of 49 Polish eldest daughters. Each chose the most attractive face from 15 distinct faces, whose ears, hair, neck, shoulders and clothing were not visible, removing any external influences which could potentially skew results. The male stimuli's facial measurements were taken and compared with each daughter's father's measurements, so that the researchers knew which faces correlated most closely with the fathers' faces.
The daughters were asked to rate their paternal relationships looking at areas such as how much a father engaged in bringing up his daughter, how much leisure time he spent with her and how much emotional investment she received from him. These scores then made up an overall 'positivity' score. As a group as a whole there was no correlation between fathers' and male stumuli's faces, however, when the daughters were split into two groups based on positivity, those in the higher positivity group showed significant positive correlations between fathers' and the male stimuli's faces that they found most attractive.
Article: Wiszewska, A, Department of Anthropology, University of Wroclaw, Pawlowski, B, Institute of Anthropology, Polish Academy of Sciences, Boothroyd, L, Department of Psychology, Durham University, "Father--daughter relationship as a moderator of sexual imprinting: a facialmetric study", Evolution and Human Behaviour, published online by Elsevier, 2007.
Bottomline:Remember "Father Figure" by George Michael ?
Women who enjoy good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners who resemble their dads research suggests. In contrast, the team of psychologists from Durham University and two Polish institutions revealed that women who have negative or less positive relationships were not attracted to men who looked like their male parents.The researchers used facial measurements [right] to give a clear view of how fathers' facial features relate directly to the features of faces their daughters find attractive.
Due to be published in the July issue of Evolution and Human Behaviour, the study investigated evidence of parental sexual imprinting, the sexual preference for individuals possessing parental characteristics, in women. The team used facial measurements to give a clear view of how fathers' facial features relate directly to the features of faces their daughters find attractive.
The study, supported in part by the Economic and Social Research Council and The Royal Society, helps shed further light on how we choose partners and the impact of a parent's role in this process, which until recently researchers believed to be a passive one. It adds to growing theories that suggest sexual imprinting is an active process which involves the relationship between the child and the adult upon whom they imprint. This reveals the importance of parental relationships in partner selection, which could move studies in areas like evolutionary biology, fertility and genetics a step forward and offer new insights in areas such as relationship counselling and psychology.
Author Dr Lynda Boothroyd of Durham University explains: "While previous research has suggested this to be the case, these controlled results show for certain that the quality of a daughter's relationship with her father has an impact on whom she finds attractive. It shows our human brains don't simply build prototypes of the ideal face based on those we see around us, rather they build them based on those to whom we have a strongly positive relationship. We can now say that daughters who have very positive childhood relationships with their fathers choose men with similar central facial characteristics to their fathers."
Well known 'daddies' girls' such as Nigella Lawson and Zoe Ball back up these findings. A comparison of pictures of Charles Saatchi with Nigel Lawson and Norman Cook with Johnny Ball reveals some close correlations, especially in the central facial area, including the nose, chin and eyes.
The study used a sample of 49 Polish eldest daughters. Each chose the most attractive face from 15 distinct faces, whose ears, hair, neck, shoulders and clothing were not visible, removing any external influences which could potentially skew results. The male stimuli's facial measurements were taken and compared with each daughter's father's measurements, so that the researchers knew which faces correlated most closely with the fathers' faces.
The daughters were asked to rate their paternal relationships looking at areas such as how much a father engaged in bringing up his daughter, how much leisure time he spent with her and how much emotional investment she received from him. These scores then made up an overall 'positivity' score. As a group as a whole there was no correlation between fathers' and male stumuli's faces, however, when the daughters were split into two groups based on positivity, those in the higher positivity group showed significant positive correlations between fathers' and the male stimuli's faces that they found most attractive.
Article: Wiszewska, A, Department of Anthropology, University of Wroclaw, Pawlowski, B, Institute of Anthropology, Polish Academy of Sciences, Boothroyd, L, Department of Psychology, Durham University, "Father--daughter relationship as a moderator of sexual imprinting: a facialmetric study", Evolution and Human Behaviour, published online by Elsevier, 2007.
Bottomline:Remember "Father Figure" by George Michael ?
Men Go for Good Looks
"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think". ~Author Unknown
WASHINGTON — Science is confirming what most women know: When given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks.
And guys won't be surprised to learn that women are much choosier about partners than they are.
"Just because people say they're looking for a particular set of characteristics in a mate, someone like themselves, doesn't mean that is what they'll end up choosing," Peter M. Todd, of the cognitive science program at Indiana University, Bloomington, said in a telephone interview.
Researchers led by Todd report in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that their study found humans were similar to most other mammals, "following Darwin's principle of choosy females and competitive males, even if humans say something different."
Their study involved 26 men and 20 women in Munich, Germany.
Participants ranged in age from 26 to their early 40s and took part in "speed dating," short meetings of three to seven minutes in which people chat, then move on to meet another dater. Afterward, participants check off the people they'd like to meet again, and dates can be arranged between pairs who select one another.
Speed dating let researchers look at a lot of mate choices in a short time, Todd said.
In the study, participants were asked before the session to fill out a questionnaire about what they were looking for in a mate, listing such categories as wealth and status, family commitment, physical appearance, healthiness and attractiveness.
After the session, the researchers compared what the participants said they were looking for with the people they actually chose to ask for another date.
Men's choices did not reflect their stated preferences, the researchers concluded. Instead, men appeared to base their decisions mostly on the women's physical attractiveness.
The men also appeared to be much less choosy. Men tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold, Todd said.
Women's actual choices, like men's, did not reflect their stated preferences, but they made more discriminating choices, the researchers found.
The scientists said women were aware of the importance of their own attractiveness to men, and adjusted their expectations to select the more desirable guys.
"Women made offers to men who had overall qualities that were on a par with the women's self-rated attractiveness. They didn't greatly overshoot their attractiveness," Todd said, "because part of the goal for women is to choose men who would stay with them"
But, he added, "they didn't go lower. They knew what they could get and aimed for that level."
So, it turns out, the women's attractiveness influenced the choices of the men and the women.
WASHINGTON — Science is confirming what most women know: When given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks.And guys won't be surprised to learn that women are much choosier about partners than they are.
"Just because people say they're looking for a particular set of characteristics in a mate, someone like themselves, doesn't mean that is what they'll end up choosing," Peter M. Todd, of the cognitive science program at Indiana University, Bloomington, said in a telephone interview.
Researchers led by Todd report in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that their study found humans were similar to most other mammals, "following Darwin's principle of choosy females and competitive males, even if humans say something different."
Their study involved 26 men and 20 women in Munich, Germany.
Participants ranged in age from 26 to their early 40s and took part in "speed dating," short meetings of three to seven minutes in which people chat, then move on to meet another dater. Afterward, participants check off the people they'd like to meet again, and dates can be arranged between pairs who select one another.
Speed dating let researchers look at a lot of mate choices in a short time, Todd said.
In the study, participants were asked before the session to fill out a questionnaire about what they were looking for in a mate, listing such categories as wealth and status, family commitment, physical appearance, healthiness and attractiveness.
After the session, the researchers compared what the participants said they were looking for with the people they actually chose to ask for another date.
Men's choices did not reflect their stated preferences, the researchers concluded. Instead, men appeared to base their decisions mostly on the women's physical attractiveness.
The men also appeared to be much less choosy. Men tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold, Todd said.
Women's actual choices, like men's, did not reflect their stated preferences, but they made more discriminating choices, the researchers found.
The scientists said women were aware of the importance of their own attractiveness to men, and adjusted their expectations to select the more desirable guys.
"Women made offers to men who had overall qualities that were on a par with the women's self-rated attractiveness. They didn't greatly overshoot their attractiveness," Todd said, "because part of the goal for women is to choose men who would stay with them"
But, he added, "they didn't go lower. They knew what they could get and aimed for that level."
So, it turns out, the women's attractiveness influenced the choices of the men and the women.
Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone
Verse 1:
G D/F# Em
i always needed time on my own
C D
i never thought i need you there when i cry
G D/F# Em
and the days feel like years when im alone
C D
and the bed where you lie its made up on your side
Refrain:
Am G/B
when you walk away i count the steps that you take
C D
do you see how much i need you right now
Chorus:
C Em D
when you're gone the pieces of my heart
are missing you
C Em D
when you're gone the face that came to know is missing to
Am C
when you're gone the words i need to hear
G D/F# C D
to always get me through the day and make it okay
i miss you
(Repeat Intro)
Verse 2:
G D/F# Em
I've never felt this way before
C D
Everything that I do, reminds me of you
G D/F# Em
And the clothes you left that lied on the floor
C D
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
(Repeat Refrain and Chorus)
Bridge:
Bm C G
We were made for each other, Out here forever
D B7
I know we were yeahh!!!
Em
I know I ever wanted was for you to know
C
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
A/C# D
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me yeahh!!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Nine phrases that women use!
http://view.break.com/382591 - Watch more free videos1. Fine:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1 above).
4. Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh:
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying F@!# YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
9 Tips for Women to Save Themselves
In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation….This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, please copy them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do:
The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans .
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. SO RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat, they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a.) Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
b.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her “Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.” The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, we already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT opens the door.”
He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.
Please ask your belove or people that you love to read this and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby!
This article should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America’s Most Wanted before when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana .I’d like you to let all the women you know about this, so please copy and send this to their email or ask them to read this article. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. Guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to print this out or pass it onto them, as well.
1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do:
The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans .
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. SO RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat, they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a.) Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
b.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her “Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.” The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, we already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT opens the door.”
He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.
Please ask your belove or people that you love to read this and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby!
This article should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America’s Most Wanted before when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana .I’d like you to let all the women you know about this, so please copy and send this to their email or ask them to read this article. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. Guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to print this out or pass it onto them, as well.
For Women:How to unlock a car with just a Tennis Ball !
An unique way for women to recover keys they forgot in a locked car.Well, I'm still a skeptic...
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Tagged :Hypermobility
Hypermobility:
Hypermobility (also called double-jointedness, hypermobility syndrome or hyperlaxity) describes joints that stretch farther than is normal. For example, some hypermobile people can bend their thumbs backwards to their wrists, or bend their knee joints backwards. It can affect a single joint or multiple joints throughout the body.
The condition tends to run in families, suggesting that there may be a genetic basis for at least some forms of hypermobility. The term double jointed is often used to describe hypermobility, however the name is a misnomer and is not to be taken literally, as an individual with hypermobility in a joint does not actually have two separate joints where others would have just the one.
Watch the jump rope section.I can do it...(I usually do it to freak my baby cousins out !)
Hypermobility can be dangerous if you are trying to lift heavy weights.(A bone might dislocate while you are lifting something heavy and cause untold damages)
So , I exercise frequently.
I aim to gain muscle mass, so that my musculature can compensate for my loose ligaments.
Now with years of exercise , I have gained enough muscle to lift heavy objects safely.On the other hand , If I was as thin as the guy in the video , I'd be able to do all the stuff he was doing.
No Kidding !
Monday, October 15, 2007
Tagged :Dog Whisperer
Its a common sight to see me walk on the streets and to have dogs coming to me ,
wagging their tails , jumping on me and licking my hands.I've never seen these dogs
before...we are practically strangers, yet there is familiarity.
Oh ! If you think I feed these dogs , you'd be dead wrong.Dogs need not be bribed for a
friendship.A pat on the head is all they get.
When I take Moti (My dog) on walks, it is a familiar sight to see many of moti's
friends coming up to me and chatting me up.The locals have gotten used to the sight of
a boy surrounded by 8-9 dogs at a time , all clamoring to get his attention.
I once thought that this was a local phenomenon, restricted to my local city of
mangalore...but when I saw it repeat at different locations of the country I realized what I had become.A Dog Whisperer.
We, as a family might seem strange to others.
We incessantly talk with animals.
Though what people find strange is that the animals actually respond to us , as if they understand us.Similarly , to an outsider , we seem to talk their language, because dogs actually talk to us (they have a low growl/howl mix)
The credit goes to Moti.A lifetime spent observing and interpreting Moti .Every action, expression , nuance had some meaning.It was just a matter of getting it right.And with time , we did get most of it right.Now Moti and I could talk.
Right from the time I was a kid , I was obsessed with dogs.
I was never allowed to have one, so I would play for hours with my neighbour's dog.
In fact , it was the exasperated neighbours who not so mildly asked my mom to get me a
dog.(I was spending too much time at his house !)
Moti almost never made it home.
In 7th grade , on a holiday , I picked up a pup from a small nest where 2 bitches had
had 13 pups.They were street mongrels , not thoroughbreds.
I picked a pup at random and ran back home , excited, only to find that the pup had a
bent tail(a tail bent the other way).Mom wanted me to return the pup.She didn't want
any pets at home.
But it was love at first sight...I would not let go of this 22 day old angel of a puppy
that had tiny floppy ears , a stubby mouth , white stockinged feet and a bent tail.
I christened him Moti (Literally meaning "Pearl"), his full name being "Moti
Vajradanthi " (or "Pearly Teeth strong as diamonds") and he has been with us ever
since then.
The Tao of Steve
I have a friend, AB, who is a ladykiller, despite the fact that he's pretty much an average guy. He's cute and a bit overweight, but not what most women would call "hot", so his skills with women have me really impressed. I mean, if he can do it, then I should be able to, right? I find myself seeking out his counsel when it comes to girls, and one of the things I love about him is he's the right balance of encouraging and advising. Plus he lets me tell him all the reasons why I think a girl might or might not be interested, and then tailors his advice toward my own personal brand of romantic ineptitude.
So AB and I were talking last night about this girl I just met, and I was filling him in on the evening she and I spent together. This girl is pretty hot and wicked smart, and I really like her, though I've been trying to reign myself in and be patient because I totally have the potential to screw it up. The problem at this point is I have no idea if she just wants to hang out platonically, or if there's a possibility for more. AB listened and advised, as he does so well, and then asked if I'd ever seen the movie Tao of Steve.
I hadn't heard of it, so AB explained the premise of the movie and the three principles. I don't want to tout it as an absolute truth, but it makes a lot of sense. So I thought I'd pass it along..
Rule 1 of the Tao of Steve:
Eliminate your desires. If you're out with a girl and you're thinking about getting laid, you're finished. A woman can smell an agenda.
Rule 2 of the Tao of Steve:
You have to do something excellent in her presence, therefore proving your sexual worthiness.
Rule 3 of the Tao of Steve:
After you eliminate desire, and after you've proved your excellence, you must retreat.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Peanuts(Art of Suffering )
Is suffering necessary for one to become a Great artist/writer/anything ?
Yes
No
A simple yes or no wont do justice to the particular question.I'll write about it in my blog.
Yes
4
No
2
A simple yes or no wont do justice to the particular question.I'll write about it in my blog.
0
By RANDY KENNEDY
THE cult of the suffering artist, that gaunt, rheumy-eyed creation of Romanticism, was all about introspection and isolation, so it didn’t exactly bequeath a handbook.
If it had, a few artists probably would have been cited as examples to emulate. Van Gogh, of course, as the depressive in chief. “The more I am spent, ill, a broken pitcher,” he wrote shortly before the earlobe incident, “so much more am I an artist.” Rimbaud, with his description of the artist as he who “exhausts all poisons in himself and keeps only their quintessences,” would have been included. And even such late entries as the novelist Ford Madox Ford, who wore his artistic hair shirt extra scratchy, piling up miseries and misdeeds: bankruptcy, depression, incarceration, agoraphobia and infidelity (with his wife’s sister, no less). He described his youth as a period of “moral torture.”
To make room on this list for Charles M. Schulz, hugely wealthy and long famous creator of a beloved bunch of cartoon kids and their zany beagle, might seem like a stretch, or a gag from “Peanuts” itself. But since Mr. Schulz’s death seven years ago — in fact even while he was alive — the image of him as an unhappy, lonely and bitter man who drew deeply on his discontent to create his comic strips has gained ground. And with the publication this week of a highly anticipated biography by David Michaelis, “Schulz and Peanuts,” that examines seemingly every disappointment and slight (real or perceived) in Mr. Schulz’s 77 years, his reputation as tormented creative soul seems poised only to grow.
The book was written with the cooperation of Mr. Schulz’s family, but in the weeks leading up to its release, some family members have criticized it, saying that it overemphasizes his melancholy and chilly side at the expense of other aspects of his personality — his generosity, his sense of humor, his love of family and, in many ways, his resolute normalness.
“It’s not a full portrait,” Jean Schulz, his second wife, told The New York Times last week. Monte Schulz, his son, called it “preposterous.” Mr. Michaelis has defended himself, saying that after years of research and hundreds of interviews with those who knew the cartoonist best, “this was the man I found.”
Such arguments are nothing particularly new in the world of biography. Writers and loved ones often end up staring each other down across a big chasm separating substantially different versions of a subject both claim to know intimately. But in the case of Mr. Schulz, the dispute seems to bring up a more fundamental question, whether almost two centuries after outlaws like Byron and Chateaubriand linked suffering and creativity, a connection that probably would have baffled Shakespeare or Swift, we still have a deep-seated need to believe in the idea of the tortured artist, to think that the only enduring ones are the really unhappy ones, even if we’re talking about syndicated cartoon-strip artists.
While Mr. Schulz took pains to say that he did not see his cartoons as serious art, critics and writers have tended to disagree, some comparing his career to that of Balzac in scope. The short-story writer George Saunders has said that “Peanuts” prepared him for Beckett. But it doesn’t necessarily follow that the man behind that work was a Balzac or a Beckett, or more than a very talented and insightful popular entertainer. And this is the ground in which Mr. Michaelis has gone to work, depicting Mr. Schulz as a much more self-aware and autobiographical artist than has been understood previously, a conduit for his times and the timeless subjects of art: longing, love, heartbreak, disappointment, distrust. (One strip, drawn when Mr. Schulz’s first marriage was breaking up and his wife, suspicious of an affair, was questioning his phone bills, shows Charlie Brown yelling at a lovesick Snoopy: “And stop making those long-distance phone calls!”)
Looked at simply as a narrative problem, it is not hard to see why any biographer would want a strong framing device in trying to tell the story of Mr. Schulz. He was a homebody workaholic whose passions, other than his strips, were golf and hockey. He was a Sunday school teacher who was not only a teetotaler but disdainful of drinking and those who did it. His favorite ice cream was vanilla. A woman who knew him at the height of his early fame described him as a “genius at becoming invisible.”
In trying to mine the sources of a lifelong gloom it’s not easy to figure out where his demons might have come from — except a naturally oversensitive and crabby personality.
He had, by conventional measures, what George Plimpton (speaking of himself) called a “non-unhappy childhood.” His father, an industrious barber in St. Paul, had work throughout the Depression. His mother could be aloof and withholding and died when he was 20. But it was she who took him to his first comics show; she knew he was smitten.
Stacked up against the sundry misfortunes that were courted by or fell on the heads of history’s best-known tortured artists — prostitute mothers (Jean Genet); drug addictions (Coleridge); physical deformities (Toulouse-Lautrec) — those that Mr. Michaelis describes in Mr. Schulz’s youth sound tame and sometimes a little silly. His father used to give him funny haircuts; he had to sleep in a room with his grandmother, who snored; he was afraid of girls and had a crushing Norwegian sense of humility; he was terrorized by schoolyard bullies, though those who knew him at the time can’t remember an instance of him actually being walloped by any.
Patricia Hampl, a memoirist and poet who grew up in St. Paul and teaches at the University of Minnesota, suggested that our desire to think of good artists as fundamentally troubled stems from a need even now — perhaps particularly now, in the age of entertainment’s dominance — for art to be something separate from our quotidian lives, something almost spiritual.
“People don’t want to believe that someone like them could just sit down at a typewriter or a desk and create something great or timeless,” she said. “It’s got to be the product of a lot of misery and angst.” She compared the impulse to that of conspiracy theorists and their reluctance to believe in the banality of evil: “It’s hard to accept that a guy could just go up into a building and shoot the president.”
Morris Dickstein, a professor of English at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York, said he believed that despite the cliché of the suffering artist, pain still deserved a whole lot of credit as a catalyst for creativity. “People who have always had a happy life and lived on an even keel and haven’t had a lot of misfortune really don’t tend to be creative people,” he said. (Though of course there are many contemporary examples of successful writers and artists who seem to have gotten by with fairly contented lives: John Updike? Jeff Koons?)
Perhaps in today’s era of acute awareness of our depressions and neuroses, Mr. Schulz’s, as mild as they might have been, were simply enough to qualify him for membership in the modern miserable artists’ club. Or, as Mr. Dickstein suggested, maybe there wasn’t a need for a monumental amount of misery but for just enough to fit the funny pages.
“It got filtered into a medium that we don’t think of as deep,” Mr. Dickstein said, “and certainly not as being dark.”
And yet in its own way “Peanuts” could make a bit of newsprint as forlorn as a set for “Waiting for Godot” (with a kite, of course, caught in the naked tree and a doghouse somewhere in the distance). As Mr. Schulz himself summed it up: “All the loves in the strip are unrequited; all the baseball games are lost; all the test scores are D-minuses; the Great Pumpkin never comes; and the football is always pulled away.”
Eeeek ! I've been Tagged (Who are You ?)
Eeeek I've been tagged...That was my first reaction.
There were skeletons waiting in my closet waiting for just such an occasion .
In writing this , one question dogged me for a while...
Who are you ?
One might be tempted to go overboard with philosophical answers...but here is a version of the answer .
You are what you convey (to others)
If you have noticed the title of my blog "If you think you know me , then you haven't read my blog" ,
it is pretty narcissisitic and suggests that most of my blog posts are about me .
So the challenge was to write more about me without boring myself or you .
Even though I'm terribly busy at the moment , I'll try my best to write a bit about myself...
Here's a teaser of what you can expect in the near future
(But keep in mind my notorious unpredictibility)
1)Dog Whisperer
2)Cat String Theory
3)Synesthesia
4)Crook cook
5)Hypermobility
6)Ecto-Meso
7)Double Standards
8)Baby Talk
9)Misanthrope
Obviously these are titles of my future posts...and given my track record you should
not take any of these titles too literally like I do...Please try to fathom the inner
meaning of my posts , and if you do succeed in doing so , please educate me , because
any inner meaning was purely unintentional .
There were skeletons waiting in my closet waiting for just such an occasion .
In writing this , one question dogged me for a while...
Who are you ?
One might be tempted to go overboard with philosophical answers...but here is a version of the answer .
You are what you convey (to others)
If you have noticed the title of my blog "If you think you know me , then you haven't read my blog" ,
it is pretty narcissisitic and suggests that most of my blog posts are about me .
So the challenge was to write more about me without boring myself or you .
Even though I'm terribly busy at the moment , I'll try my best to write a bit about myself...
Here's a teaser of what you can expect in the near future
(But keep in mind my notorious unpredictibility)
1)Dog Whisperer
2)Cat String Theory
3)Synesthesia
4)Crook cook
5)Hypermobility
6)Ecto-Meso
7)Double Standards
8)Baby Talk
9)Misanthrope
Obviously these are titles of my future posts...and given my track record you should
not take any of these titles too literally like I do...Please try to fathom the inner
meaning of my posts , and if you do succeed in doing so , please educate me , because
any inner meaning was purely unintentional .
Saturday, October 13, 2007
The Ethics of Being an Evil Villain
The first thing you need to do is be informed of any and all activity going on in the evil villain community. You can’t threaten the earth with a laser if Doctor No-good and his band of illegal underpaid Mexican midget henchmen have already delivered their demands to the UN and have a request pending. Not only does it show no consideration at all towards your fellow bad guys it also makes you look like an ass in the hero community as well. To them it is a waste of time dealing with copycats, and when Batman feels you have wasted his time he makes you pay for it with broken teeth.
Another important point to being an ethical villain is equal opportunity employment. This week you may have a tribe of toothless illiterate South American farm migrants to do your bidding. Next week you may want to try out a gang of drunken Irish thugs. The key here is diversity. Remember, everyone is equally worthless and expendable in the eyes of the ethical villain.
Also, don’t even think of getting married. Other villains have tried this and failed… miserably. Trust me, your wife WILL call and embarrass you in the middle of a life and death battle with Captain Super Justice Asshole by insisting that you leave early to pick up the kids because her hair appointment went long. This is NOT a legitimate excuse and don’t be surprised if heroes everywhere stop taking you seriously, make jokes about you behind your back, point, laugh, and begin to send the regular cops to deal with your shenanigans instead of getting out of bed themselves.
One area where many villains fall short when it comes to ethics is personal hygiene. If you are going to choose fangs as part of your gimmick please be sure to brush them three times a day. Even the rottenest of bastards should be good to his teeth. You also shouldn’t have empty Wendy’s bags lying all over your lair. It only takes five minutes to clean up and projects an air of comfortable cleanliness to any captives unfortunate enough to be taken back to your hideout and chopped up for shark food. Besides, if you are going to try to take over the world, at least make sure you got all your shit off the floor first.
Grammar is another big concern in many circles of evil. If you know you are a little shoddy with the kidnap notes, hire a proofreader to go over it for you. No one takes demands seriously when they look like they were written by a third grader. And for fucks sake, don’t get angry and kill the damn proofreader because he constantly points out the fact that you don’t know how to spell the word “millennium”. Unless you have a lava pit. Burning people in a lava pit is always great fun for all involved except the one getting burned, but fuck that guys feelings…
The final piece of advice for those who strive to be ethical in their villainous endeavors is this: always flush when in another villain’s lair. Or even when in the heroes’ secret hideout. Never leave a log floating beneath another man’s throne. Not only is it unhygienic, foul-smelling, and quite frankly rude to the next person in line for the shitter, it shows no class on your part. Skeletor flushed in Castle Grey Skull without fail no matter how much he hated He Man’s Naziness. Sometimes he even lit a match out of courtesy. However, there is no rule against using the last bit of toilet paper and keeping quiet about it. That’s just good villainy right there.
Since it doesn’t get any better than the image of He Man cursing Skeletor at the top of his lungs while sitting on the old poop wagon with an ass full of yesterdays chimichangas and an empty roll of toilet paper crumpled up in his outstretched fist… I leave you with that
Friday, October 12, 2007
21 Grams...Violence and evaporation.
The Ultimate Purpose of Life
Survive
Without survival, there is no life.
All life on Earth has been designed by evolutionary processes to replicate.
This is nature's long-established engine of survival.
The Penultimate Purpose of Life
Replicate
While the primary purpose of your life is to survive, your secondary purpose is to replicate.
You are a biological machine.
Your motives in this life are simple, but not simplistic:
To live and love.
I regret to say that Mala Jr. was not half the cat his father was.
This is not how you would want to remember the dead.
But Mala Jr.was like his father .They died for the same cause.
They died trying to survive and replicate...mostly trying to replicate.
Mala Sr. however chose not to involve us in his death.When he was sick and mortally wounded by an attack by other cats , he simply left, never to return again.It took him every
ounce of energy his battered body was left with , but he did not want to die with us.
Mala Jr. was like his father, except for the hitler moustache.His father had one and he didn't.
To give you a better picture, he looked like Sylvester
, except for the red bulbous nose.He didn't have one.
He acted exactly like Pepe-le-phew...
In other words , he was a consummate seducer and an ardent rake.The rake faces the most danger from members of his own sex , who are far less indulgent than women are of his
constant and relentless ways.
Mala Jr. Like his father was a delicate creature, not known for his strength..And in a true darwinian dog-eat-dog world (pardon the wrong animal comparision ), physical strength was truly a trump card Mala wished to possess .
Whenever a cat went to estrus , we would expect Mala Jr. to return home wounded.We were used to his father returning back with week old deep gashes all over his body festering
with pus.
It was no different with his son.
As they say , the apple does not fall from the tree...
Mala Jr. was hurt badly.The skin on his face opened up like a flap , like it was sliced open with surgical accuracy.He was shivering with fever.An unbearable stench of putrid
pus from all his open wounds assailed our senses .
This was deadly serious.
We rushed him to the vet.The prognosis was bad.All the vet could do was to clean him up , give him an antibiotic shot and stitch him up for good.
Mala Jr.'s fever never subsided.It grew worse over time.
We kept him in a warm room , in a box , with soft cloth padding.His body was emaciated...there was nothing save a few bones sticking out and fur , all damp , sticky and hot.
All organisms have ingrained in them , a basic instinct to live and survive.Nobody in their right minds wants to die.(Emphasis on 'right minds').We want to survive at any costs...
Even when on the brink of death , an organism strives to survive.One can see desperation in the final throes of death.We do not want to let go of our mortal coil.
Such was the case with Mala Jr.
On the day he died , during his last moments , he thrashed around with senseless abandon.Perhaps it was a last ditch attempt to recapture the losing essence of life.
During his last moments, all I could do was comfort him and try to give him some water to drink.
As I was giving him water , his body suddenly relaxed and his eyes lost their glint.His eyes
unlike his father's, were fierce and cruel , like that of a snake's , deep and hypnotic , giving you chills down your spine when he stared at you.
But now , they were dull...lifeless.His violent outburst was now replaced with stiff rigidity of rigor mortis.
The violence was no longer there.
The life was no longer there.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
x-0-x
21 grams.
They say we all lose 21 grams at the exact moment of our death...
everyone.
The weight of a stack of nickels.
The weight of a chocolate bar.
The weight of a humming bird.
In pure contrast, was my grandmother's death.
Age often brings the ultimate indignity ,and that in the form of extreme helplessness.
At 89 , she was bedridden for the past six months.
An active woman throughout her life , now was reduced to being confined to her bed.The ultimate indignity was that she was evaporating right before our eyes.
Physically , mentally , spiritually...she was evaporating.
The purpose of her life , dare I say , had been completed for she had had offspring and she had led a good life , loved by one and all.
Advances in modern medicine are a bane in a way that they unnecessarily prolong life and therefore suffering.
A life can be stretched only so much before it snaps .
Perhaps we are all guilty of prolonging suffering.
She held on till she could but eight days ago , what was left of her simply evaporated away.There was no violence, no hesitation , no desperation...only acceptance .
Her departure was so undramatic that a sense of unreality crept in and we checked and rechecked for signs of life until the doctor had pronounced the truth.
To pay homage,I'm reprinting my entry from an old diary about my grandma.(It was written when she first moved into our home , about 10 years ago)
"Look at ma grandma.She eats like a bird and sleeps like a log.When she is sleeping, she breathes like Darth Vader !(Chortle, chortle!)
Well , she is kinda old , 85+ years at least, frail looking but very intelligent and sharp for her age.(God bless her soul)
She is the best example for life itself.
So Fragile , yet so strong.
I'd like to know what goes on in her head.
I want to know how her perceptions differ from mine , or for that matter from any one else's.
I wish I knew her better..."
These were my final thoughts running in my mind as Grandma's corporeal body was consumed by angry flames :"Grandma...I hope its not too late to say I'm sorry for all the things I would've , could've ,should've done.
I'm sorry "
Survive
Without survival, there is no life.
All life on Earth has been designed by evolutionary processes to replicate.
This is nature's long-established engine of survival.
The Penultimate Purpose of Life
Replicate
While the primary purpose of your life is to survive, your secondary purpose is to replicate.
You are a biological machine.
Your motives in this life are simple, but not simplistic:
To live and love.
I regret to say that Mala Jr. was not half the cat his father was.
This is not how you would want to remember the dead.
But Mala Jr.was like his father .They died for the same cause.
They died trying to survive and replicate...mostly trying to replicate.
Mala Sr. however chose not to involve us in his death.When he was sick and mortally wounded by an attack by other cats , he simply left, never to return again.It took him every
ounce of energy his battered body was left with , but he did not want to die with us.
Mala Jr. was like his father, except for the hitler moustache.His father had one and he didn't.
To give you a better picture, he looked like Sylvester
, except for the red bulbous nose.He didn't have one.He acted exactly like Pepe-le-phew...
In other words , he was a consummate seducer and an ardent rake.The rake faces the most danger from members of his own sex , who are far less indulgent than women are of his
constant and relentless ways.
Mala Jr. Like his father was a delicate creature, not known for his strength..And in a true darwinian dog-eat-dog world (pardon the wrong animal comparision ), physical strength was truly a trump card Mala wished to possess .
Whenever a cat went to estrus , we would expect Mala Jr. to return home wounded.We were used to his father returning back with week old deep gashes all over his body festering
with pus.
It was no different with his son.
As they say , the apple does not fall from the tree...
Mala Jr. was hurt badly.The skin on his face opened up like a flap , like it was sliced open with surgical accuracy.He was shivering with fever.An unbearable stench of putrid
pus from all his open wounds assailed our senses .
This was deadly serious.
We rushed him to the vet.The prognosis was bad.All the vet could do was to clean him up , give him an antibiotic shot and stitch him up for good.
Mala Jr.'s fever never subsided.It grew worse over time.
We kept him in a warm room , in a box , with soft cloth padding.His body was emaciated...there was nothing save a few bones sticking out and fur , all damp , sticky and hot.
All organisms have ingrained in them , a basic instinct to live and survive.Nobody in their right minds wants to die.(Emphasis on 'right minds').We want to survive at any costs...
Even when on the brink of death , an organism strives to survive.One can see desperation in the final throes of death.We do not want to let go of our mortal coil.
Such was the case with Mala Jr.
On the day he died , during his last moments , he thrashed around with senseless abandon.Perhaps it was a last ditch attempt to recapture the losing essence of life.
During his last moments, all I could do was comfort him and try to give him some water to drink.
As I was giving him water , his body suddenly relaxed and his eyes lost their glint.His eyes
unlike his father's, were fierce and cruel , like that of a snake's , deep and hypnotic , giving you chills down your spine when he stared at you.
But now , they were dull...lifeless.His violent outburst was now replaced with stiff rigidity of rigor mortis.
The violence was no longer there.
The life was no longer there.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
x-0-x
21 grams.
They say we all lose 21 grams at the exact moment of our death...
everyone.
The weight of a stack of nickels.
The weight of a chocolate bar.
The weight of a humming bird.
In pure contrast, was my grandmother's death.
Age often brings the ultimate indignity ,and that in the form of extreme helplessness.
At 89 , she was bedridden for the past six months.
An active woman throughout her life , now was reduced to being confined to her bed.The ultimate indignity was that she was evaporating right before our eyes.
Physically , mentally , spiritually...she was evaporating.
The purpose of her life , dare I say , had been completed for she had had offspring and she had led a good life , loved by one and all.
Advances in modern medicine are a bane in a way that they unnecessarily prolong life and therefore suffering.
A life can be stretched only so much before it snaps .
Perhaps we are all guilty of prolonging suffering.
She held on till she could but eight days ago , what was left of her simply evaporated away.There was no violence, no hesitation , no desperation...only acceptance .
Her departure was so undramatic that a sense of unreality crept in and we checked and rechecked for signs of life until the doctor had pronounced the truth.
To pay homage,I'm reprinting my entry from an old diary about my grandma.(It was written when she first moved into our home , about 10 years ago)
"Look at ma grandma.She eats like a bird and sleeps like a log.When she is sleeping, she breathes like Darth Vader !(Chortle, chortle!)
Well , she is kinda old , 85+ years at least, frail looking but very intelligent and sharp for her age.(God bless her soul)
She is the best example for life itself.
So Fragile , yet so strong.
I'd like to know what goes on in her head.
I want to know how her perceptions differ from mine , or for that matter from any one else's.
I wish I knew her better..."
These were my final thoughts running in my mind as Grandma's corporeal body was consumed by angry flames :"Grandma...I hope its not too late to say I'm sorry for all the things I would've , could've ,should've done.
I'm sorry "
The 2007 Winners of Ig Nobel Prize Who Made us Laugh and Think
The 2007 Winners of Ig Nobel Prize Who Made us Laugh and Think
Scientists of the research projects that "first make people laugh, and then make them think" were awarded with Ig Nobel Prize.
The 17th ceremony of Ig Nobel Prize or also called Improbable Research took place at Harvard's Sanders Theatre on Thursday night, October 4. The Ig Nobel Prizes that are parodies of the real Nobel Prizes, are awarded annually to celebrate unusual, creative and improbable achievements in science, medicine and technology. Some of these inventions may seem weird and hilarious nevertheless they are truly breakthroughs in science.
Medicine
Brian Witcombe of Gloucester, UK, and Dan Meyer of Antioch, Tennessee, USA, was awarded for the in-depth report that analyzed "Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects".
Biology
Dutch researchers Prof. Dr. Johanna E.M.H. van Bronswijk of Eindhoven University of Technology, The Netherlands was applauded for the study of all the insects, bacteria, fungi, shellfish, mites, ferns and other living things that sleep with us each night.
Physics
L. Mahadevan of Harvard University, USA, and Enrique Cerda Villablanca of Universidad de Santiago de Chile, were awarded for finding the key to how sheets become wrinkled.
Chemistry
Japanese scientist Mayu Yamamoto of the International Medical Center of Japan managed to extract a vanilla fragrance and flavor from cow dung.
Nutrition
Brian Wansink of Cornell University, once questioned the limits of human appetite and studied the topic by feeding people with a self-refilling, bottomless bowl of soup.
Literature
Australian woman scientist Glenda Browne of Blaxland, Blue Mountains made a significant contribution studying the word "the" and resolving many resolve issues regarding it, such as when you try to put things into alphabetical order.
Linguistics
Juan Manuel Toro, Josep B. Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, of Universitat de Barcelona won international recognition by demonstrating that rats sometimes cannot distinguish if person is speaking Japanese backwards Dutch backwards.
Peace
The team from The Air Force Wright Laboratory, Dayton, Ohio developed a "gay bomb" -the chemical weapon that is aimed at enemy soldiers who will become sexually attracted to each other after the attack of this weapon.
Aviation
Three scientist from Argentina Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano and Diego A. Golombek of Universidad Nacional de Quilmes found that Viagra is useful to hamsters helping them recover from jetlag.
Economics
A researcher from Taiwan who didn't appear on the ceremony, was awarded for inventing a tool able to catch robbers by putting a net over them.
Scientists of the research projects that "first make people laugh, and then make them think" were awarded with Ig Nobel Prize.
The 17th ceremony of Ig Nobel Prize or also called Improbable Research took place at Harvard's Sanders Theatre on Thursday night, October 4. The Ig Nobel Prizes that are parodies of the real Nobel Prizes, are awarded annually to celebrate unusual, creative and improbable achievements in science, medicine and technology. Some of these inventions may seem weird and hilarious nevertheless they are truly breakthroughs in science.
Medicine
Brian Witcombe of Gloucester, UK, and Dan Meyer of Antioch, Tennessee, USA, was awarded for the in-depth report that analyzed "Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects".
Biology
Dutch researchers Prof. Dr. Johanna E.M.H. van Bronswijk of Eindhoven University of Technology, The Netherlands was applauded for the study of all the insects, bacteria, fungi, shellfish, mites, ferns and other living things that sleep with us each night.
Physics
L. Mahadevan of Harvard University, USA, and Enrique Cerda Villablanca of Universidad de Santiago de Chile, were awarded for finding the key to how sheets become wrinkled.
Chemistry
Japanese scientist Mayu Yamamoto of the International Medical Center of Japan managed to extract a vanilla fragrance and flavor from cow dung.
Nutrition
Brian Wansink of Cornell University, once questioned the limits of human appetite and studied the topic by feeding people with a self-refilling, bottomless bowl of soup.
Literature
Australian woman scientist Glenda Browne of Blaxland, Blue Mountains made a significant contribution studying the word "the" and resolving many resolve issues regarding it, such as when you try to put things into alphabetical order.
Linguistics
Juan Manuel Toro, Josep B. Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, of Universitat de Barcelona won international recognition by demonstrating that rats sometimes cannot distinguish if person is speaking Japanese backwards Dutch backwards.
Peace
The team from The Air Force Wright Laboratory, Dayton, Ohio developed a "gay bomb" -the chemical weapon that is aimed at enemy soldiers who will become sexually attracted to each other after the attack of this weapon.
Aviation
Three scientist from Argentina Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano and Diego A. Golombek of Universidad Nacional de Quilmes found that Viagra is useful to hamsters helping them recover from jetlag.
Economics
A researcher from Taiwan who didn't appear on the ceremony, was awarded for inventing a tool able to catch robbers by putting a net over them.
Tips to improve your writing
Tips to improve your writing
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Be more or less specific.
3. Proofread carefully to see if you words out or mispeld something.
4. A writer must not shift your point of view.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
7. Contractions aren't necessary.
8. Foreign words and phrases are not a propos.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
13. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
14. Understatement is always best.
15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
17. The passive voice is to be avoided.
18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
22. Don't use no double negatives.
23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point 24. Do not put statements in the negative form.
25. Avoid alliteration. Always.
26. Employ the vernacular.
27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
28. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) 30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Be more or less specific.
3. Proofread carefully to see if you words out or mispeld something.
4. A writer must not shift your point of view.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
7. Contractions aren't necessary.
8. Foreign words and phrases are not a propos.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
13. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
14. Understatement is always best.
15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
17. The passive voice is to be avoided.
18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
22. Don't use no double negatives.
23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point 24. Do not put statements in the negative form.
25. Avoid alliteration. Always.
26. Employ the vernacular.
27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
28. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) 30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Daily Exercise For writers
Daily Exercise For writers
Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise.
Exercise_____________________ Calories burned per hour
Beating around the bush.......................75
Jumping to conclusions.......................100
Climbing the walls...........................150
Swallowing your pride.........................50
Passing the buck..............................25
Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight)....................50-300
Dragging your heels..........................100
Pushing your luck............................250
Making mountains out of molehills............500
Hitting the nail on the head..................50
Wading through paperwork.....................300
Bending over backwards........................75
Jumping on the bandwagon.....................200
Balancing the books...........................25
Running around in circles....................350
Eating crow..................................225
Tooting your own horn.........................25
Climbing the ladder of success...............750
Pulling out the stops.........................75
Adding fuel to the fire......................160
Wrapping it up at the day's end...............12
To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:
Opening a can of worms .......................50
Putting your foot in your mouth..............300
Starting the ball rolling.....................90
Going over the edge...........................25
Picking up the pieces after..................350
Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise.
Exercise_____________________ Calories burned per hour
Beating around the bush.......................75
Jumping to conclusions.......................100
Climbing the walls...........................150
Swallowing your pride.........................50
Passing the buck..............................25
Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight)....................50-300
Dragging your heels..........................100
Pushing your luck............................250
Making mountains out of molehills............500
Hitting the nail on the head..................50
Wading through paperwork.....................300
Bending over backwards........................75
Jumping on the bandwagon.....................200
Balancing the books...........................25
Running around in circles....................350
Eating crow..................................225
Tooting your own horn.........................25
Climbing the ladder of success...............750
Pulling out the stops.........................75
Adding fuel to the fire......................160
Wrapping it up at the day's end...............12
To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:
Opening a can of worms .......................50
Putting your foot in your mouth..............300
Starting the ball rolling.....................90
Going over the edge...........................25
Picking up the pieces after..................350
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Disney's Twisted Morality
Walt Disney created some of the greatest children’s films in cinematic history, only the main thing Disney did was put in terribly frightening images and premises to scare the shit out of children so they grew up all moral. Below is a reinvention of some of the favourite Disney films with the actual positive and negative outcomes of doing, what Disney makes out we should or shouldn’t do.
Snow White
Moral of The Story: If you become prettier than your mother she will kill you
Negative Reality: It is pretty much impossible not to become prettier than your mother and if you piss her off with it she won’t order a hit on you at all. The more likely scenario is that your mother will kick you out of your house; you will then become a junkie and be forced into prostitution to pay for your habit. The end of your life will come when you find yourself in a drug den shooting up, only to OD and slump in a heap on the floor; something akin to a certain Rammstein video.
Positive Reality: Your mother will understand that her looks were never going to last forever and she nurtures your own beauty and is proud of it. You are encouraged to look how you want and end up with a great relationship ending up in a happy marriage with kids.
Beauty and the Beast
Moral of The Story: If you’re a narcissist an evil witch will come along and curse you so that only someone who can look past your furry looks will be able to love you.
Negative Reality: Well it’s obvious that no witch is going to come along and turn you into a beefcake version of a werewolf. If you are a narcissist you will only end up being self obsessed only attracting like self obsessed people. Your relationships will simply consist of two people saying how beautiful they are meaning you never really connect, and are looked down upon by everyone around you that has a sense of self decency. Your life will end alone in a bed-sit with no friends due to the fact that when your looks abandoned you, so did all of your so called ‘friends’.
Positive Reality: You are in such the realms of narcissism that you end up in Hollywood acting in blockbuster movies getting paid ridiculous amounts of money. You marry an absolutely gorgeous spouse and have equally as gorgeous children, solidifying your family’s history in the entertainment business and setting up future generations for simple lives in the same business.
A Bugs Life
Moral of The Story: If you are being used by others then standing up to them will turn out ok even though you have no fighting skills.
Negative Reality: Ok these people picked you for the reason that they wish to take advantage of your fear of physical pain. If you stand up to them with no viable muscle whatsoever you will simply ended up pounded into the mud and be made to look even more like a bitch. You will spend the rest of your life being walked over by anyone that comes across you, especially those that know your history. Your relationships will consist of being made a bitch and you will die sad and used like a condom after a five hour sex session.
Positive Reality: The bullies underestimated that you would stand up to them, and through fear of having it repeated again just dump using you for the next joke that will be easier prey. This gives you an explosion of self confidence so you know when people will be using you in future, enabling you to settle down into a secure trusting relationship and your children do not have the same self confidence problems you had when young, due to your nurturing and understanding nature created by your past.
Pinocchio
Moral of The Story: If you lie and don’t listen to your parents you will end up with a dildo on your face and your parents will end up swallowed by a whale. Fear not though as admission to all of your foibles will make everything fine, and your deepest wishes will come true.
Negative Reality: Every kid lies and doesn’t listen to their parents and a lot of them turn out absolutely ok. The ones that go to the extremes like binge drinking and lying as shown in Pinocchio though will end up losing their virginity at twelve in a park drunk on cider, have an ASBO by the time they are 18, and only be able to get gopher jobs while living in council house accommodation with regular confrontations with the neighbours
Positive Reality: The binge drinking and virginity losing are the same except this gives you such a sense of self loathing that you vow never to do such naïve acts again. You build yourself up a respectable life and reputation and pass on the wisdom of binge drinking and lying to your children in the hope that they don’t make the same stupid mistakes that you did.
Dumbo
Moral of The Story: If you have a laughable physical disfigurement, after taking all the shit you can you attack all the people around you. This causes them to all become your friends and everything to stay happily ever after. Pink elephants are also fucking scary.
Negative Reality: If you have a laughable physical disfigurement people are going to laugh and ridicule you all they want, especially among the less intelligent population. You will take shit for as long as possible until it either results in you going postal killing everyone around you and then yourself, or you end up with such psychological trauma that you end up committed and living in a padded room for the rest of your life. Pink elephants are also fucking scary.
Positive Reality: You ignore everyone’s joking at your physical appearance and only surround yourself with those that see people for their inner personality. In turn you find someone with the same respect for personality as yourself and you live happily ever after, creating children with various physical deformities, who you never look down upon due to you living your whole life looking like the elephant man yourself.
So there we have it, in response to Disney’s extremist propaganda we have the more correct facts put before us. What the hell happened to fluffy bunnies and happy goings on in kids movies eh? More importantly, what the fuck was Walt Disney on when he came up with the pink elephants scene in Dumbo?
Snow White
Moral of The Story: If you become prettier than your mother she will kill you
Negative Reality: It is pretty much impossible not to become prettier than your mother and if you piss her off with it she won’t order a hit on you at all. The more likely scenario is that your mother will kick you out of your house; you will then become a junkie and be forced into prostitution to pay for your habit. The end of your life will come when you find yourself in a drug den shooting up, only to OD and slump in a heap on the floor; something akin to a certain Rammstein video.
Positive Reality: Your mother will understand that her looks were never going to last forever and she nurtures your own beauty and is proud of it. You are encouraged to look how you want and end up with a great relationship ending up in a happy marriage with kids.
Beauty and the Beast
Moral of The Story: If you’re a narcissist an evil witch will come along and curse you so that only someone who can look past your furry looks will be able to love you.
Negative Reality: Well it’s obvious that no witch is going to come along and turn you into a beefcake version of a werewolf. If you are a narcissist you will only end up being self obsessed only attracting like self obsessed people. Your relationships will simply consist of two people saying how beautiful they are meaning you never really connect, and are looked down upon by everyone around you that has a sense of self decency. Your life will end alone in a bed-sit with no friends due to the fact that when your looks abandoned you, so did all of your so called ‘friends’.
Positive Reality: You are in such the realms of narcissism that you end up in Hollywood acting in blockbuster movies getting paid ridiculous amounts of money. You marry an absolutely gorgeous spouse and have equally as gorgeous children, solidifying your family’s history in the entertainment business and setting up future generations for simple lives in the same business.
A Bugs Life
Moral of The Story: If you are being used by others then standing up to them will turn out ok even though you have no fighting skills.
Negative Reality: Ok these people picked you for the reason that they wish to take advantage of your fear of physical pain. If you stand up to them with no viable muscle whatsoever you will simply ended up pounded into the mud and be made to look even more like a bitch. You will spend the rest of your life being walked over by anyone that comes across you, especially those that know your history. Your relationships will consist of being made a bitch and you will die sad and used like a condom after a five hour sex session.
Positive Reality: The bullies underestimated that you would stand up to them, and through fear of having it repeated again just dump using you for the next joke that will be easier prey. This gives you an explosion of self confidence so you know when people will be using you in future, enabling you to settle down into a secure trusting relationship and your children do not have the same self confidence problems you had when young, due to your nurturing and understanding nature created by your past.
Pinocchio
Moral of The Story: If you lie and don’t listen to your parents you will end up with a dildo on your face and your parents will end up swallowed by a whale. Fear not though as admission to all of your foibles will make everything fine, and your deepest wishes will come true.
Negative Reality: Every kid lies and doesn’t listen to their parents and a lot of them turn out absolutely ok. The ones that go to the extremes like binge drinking and lying as shown in Pinocchio though will end up losing their virginity at twelve in a park drunk on cider, have an ASBO by the time they are 18, and only be able to get gopher jobs while living in council house accommodation with regular confrontations with the neighbours
Positive Reality: The binge drinking and virginity losing are the same except this gives you such a sense of self loathing that you vow never to do such naïve acts again. You build yourself up a respectable life and reputation and pass on the wisdom of binge drinking and lying to your children in the hope that they don’t make the same stupid mistakes that you did.
Dumbo
Moral of The Story: If you have a laughable physical disfigurement, after taking all the shit you can you attack all the people around you. This causes them to all become your friends and everything to stay happily ever after. Pink elephants are also fucking scary.
Negative Reality: If you have a laughable physical disfigurement people are going to laugh and ridicule you all they want, especially among the less intelligent population. You will take shit for as long as possible until it either results in you going postal killing everyone around you and then yourself, or you end up with such psychological trauma that you end up committed and living in a padded room for the rest of your life. Pink elephants are also fucking scary.
Positive Reality: You ignore everyone’s joking at your physical appearance and only surround yourself with those that see people for their inner personality. In turn you find someone with the same respect for personality as yourself and you live happily ever after, creating children with various physical deformities, who you never look down upon due to you living your whole life looking like the elephant man yourself.
So there we have it, in response to Disney’s extremist propaganda we have the more correct facts put before us. What the hell happened to fluffy bunnies and happy goings on in kids movies eh? More importantly, what the fuck was Walt Disney on when he came up with the pink elephants scene in Dumbo?
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The
following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast
resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as
informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -
Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
October 2002
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The
following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast
resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as
informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -
Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
Trivial Pursuit
Ass-kicking words of the day :
callipygian: having beautifully proportioned buttocks
steatopygic: an extreme accumulation of fat on the buttocks
DOES URINATING ON A JELLYFISH STING
STOP THE BURN?
We all saw thatFriends episode (c’mon, you watch it, too) when Monica gets stung by a
jellyfish. Joey remembers that peeing on a jellyfish sting takes the pain away, Monica “can’t
bend that way,” and Joey gets “stage fright,” leaving Chandler to save the day. Don’t believe
everything you see on TV.
Most jellyfish stings cause only pain and numbness. The Australian box jellyfish is the
most venomous and deadly of all stinging marine creatures. Approximately 20 percent of
those stung by the box jellyfish will die. Portuguese man-of-war is also dangerous but nothing
compared to the box jellyfish.
The following guideline can be applied to most jellyfish stings: The patient should remove
any visible tentacles, using gloves if possible. The area of the sting should be rinsed with
household vinegar. The acetic acid of the vinegar can block discharge of the remaining
nematocysts (stinging cells) on the skin and should be applied liberally. If vinegar is not
available, salt water can be used to wash off the nematocysts.
In laboratory tests, urine, ammonia, and alcohol can cause active stinging cells to fire,
which means applying them has the potential to make a minor sting worse, so urinating on a
jellyfish sting is both gross and painful.
WHERE DOES GAS GO WHEN YOU CANÌT
FART?
Some people like to think of their lower gastrointestinal tract as a one-way street. One time
during a rectal examination during a trauma, a frightened young man screamed out as the
doctor was placing his finger in the man’s rectum, “Whoa, that’s an exit!”
Flatulence follows that same rule. Gas goes out or it simply goes away.
callipygian: having beautifully proportioned buttocks
steatopygic: an extreme accumulation of fat on the buttocks
DOES URINATING ON A JELLYFISH STING
STOP THE BURN?
We all saw thatFriends episode (c’mon, you watch it, too) when Monica gets stung by a
jellyfish. Joey remembers that peeing on a jellyfish sting takes the pain away, Monica “can’t
bend that way,” and Joey gets “stage fright,” leaving Chandler to save the day. Don’t believe
everything you see on TV.
Most jellyfish stings cause only pain and numbness. The Australian box jellyfish is the
most venomous and deadly of all stinging marine creatures. Approximately 20 percent of
those stung by the box jellyfish will die. Portuguese man-of-war is also dangerous but nothing
compared to the box jellyfish.
The following guideline can be applied to most jellyfish stings: The patient should remove
any visible tentacles, using gloves if possible. The area of the sting should be rinsed with
household vinegar. The acetic acid of the vinegar can block discharge of the remaining
nematocysts (stinging cells) on the skin and should be applied liberally. If vinegar is not
available, salt water can be used to wash off the nematocysts.
In laboratory tests, urine, ammonia, and alcohol can cause active stinging cells to fire,
which means applying them has the potential to make a minor sting worse, so urinating on a
jellyfish sting is both gross and painful.
WHERE DOES GAS GO WHEN YOU CANÌT
FART?
Some people like to think of their lower gastrointestinal tract as a one-way street. One time
during a rectal examination during a trauma, a frightened young man screamed out as the
doctor was placing his finger in the man’s rectum, “Whoa, that’s an exit!”
Flatulence follows that same rule. Gas goes out or it simply goes away.
Monday, October 1, 2007
The trouble with being a 'Nice Guy'
"You are beautiful , did you know that ?"
"Ok , what do you want ? I'm not going to sleep with you ...You're not my type, I never thought of you in that way, you are like my brother,lets just be friends "
"Hey , Hey ! I just told you that you were beautiful , thats all...I didn't want anything in return "
Why are women are distrustful of "Nice Guys." ?
Ans :How does she know he isn't just pretending to be nice in order to get into her pants? Sure, he's buying dinner and telling her she's pretty.. .but is that what he's really
like? Or is that just what he's like when he wants something?
To women , nice guys are normal guys who lack the balls to take the first step and actually do something manly like ask her out.
Instead they remain forever in the "friend" zone, and constantly compliment them and be there when they need them and do all other things that basically emasculate them every other day !
Therefore this lack of trust is a natural defense mechanism that ensures that only strong men(men who have enough balls to make the right moves ) get any chance .
Nice guys are losers...nobody wants to mate with a loser !
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Trust me ; She is not a Princess.
Love , infatuation or obsession makes us wear those rose tinted glasses which make all imperfections disappear like celebrity cellulite under a photoshop knife .(filter)
Trust me ...even if you think a woman is a goddess or a princess , she doesn't think so.
Even though she may look like a goddess or act like a princess she knows she’s no goddess. Her self-image is one of imperfection and incompleteness.
That’s normal.
Only insane people think they’re perfect. She knows deep down that no one deserves instant adoration. Adoration has to be worked for. She respects you for not telegraphing sexual or romantic intent when she has made little effort.
Remember : She is not perfect and it simply drives her crazy when you act like she is.
Oh yeah, If she is perfect , then what is she doing with you in the first place , huh ?
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I recently asked a friend "How would you like to be wooed ?" or alternately "How would you like to be seduced ?"
And I did get an honest answer for my question.(Which will not be discussed here)
But here's the problem...
Women will continually tell you what they want(not just about how to woo them ), and a lot of them are very good people, but break through the mask of who they consciously are, and they want the opposite of everything they just told you.
Think you can break through the mask? Think again. That’s six layers of a specialized reinforced concrete known as mental makeup (cosmetics for personality). You’re not getting through anything, because she will not let you .
So here's the answer...Women have no idea what they want...well... they do have a vague idea...but nothing concrete really.
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Love, let us also talk about love :
We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever .But love isn't like that.It's a free flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases .Sometimes it stays for life , other times it stays for a second , a day , a month , or a year.So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable.But don't be surprised when it leaves ,either.Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.
It’s often said that love is self-hypnosis; a beautiful psychosis that takes hold and prompts us to act in ways that we would otherwise not even consider.
Love cannot be forced or enforced nor can it be demanded.
When you demand or force or enforce it , all you get is fear and hatred.
Because the idea of love can also be destructive for some people,it can be a self-deception that they can focus on as a way to avoid facing their shortcomings.
There are people who will fall in love with anyone who will have them.People with no standards.
I'm one of them.
I fall in love too easily !
Why, just yesterday I fell in love with Betty Soares , because her character had the ability to make me laugh.
A Good sense of Humour is very attractive in a woman .
And beauty is truly overrated.
Like me, There are people eager in love with the idea of being in love.
There are other people who fear falling in love. They are jaded, and create emotional barriers to prevent themselves from being hurt in the future.Ultimately, people process their experiences through a fog of emotions, and create and intensify these occurrences in their own minds.
Is it possible, that it is only when you don’t need love that you will find it?
Well , here's an experiment well worth a try...
I declare that I don't need love anymore !
"Ok , what do you want ? I'm not going to sleep with you ...You're not my type, I never thought of you in that way, you are like my brother,lets just be friends "
"Hey , Hey ! I just told you that you were beautiful , thats all...I didn't want anything in return "
Why are women are distrustful of "Nice Guys." ?
Ans :How does she know he isn't just pretending to be nice in order to get into her pants? Sure, he's buying dinner and telling her she's pretty.. .but is that what he's really
like? Or is that just what he's like when he wants something?
To women , nice guys are normal guys who lack the balls to take the first step and actually do something manly like ask her out.
Instead they remain forever in the "friend" zone, and constantly compliment them and be there when they need them and do all other things that basically emasculate them every other day !
Therefore this lack of trust is a natural defense mechanism that ensures that only strong men(men who have enough balls to make the right moves ) get any chance .
Nice guys are losers...nobody wants to mate with a loser !
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trust me ; She is not a Princess.
Love , infatuation or obsession makes us wear those rose tinted glasses which make all imperfections disappear like celebrity cellulite under a photoshop knife .(filter)
Trust me ...even if you think a woman is a goddess or a princess , she doesn't think so.
Even though she may look like a goddess or act like a princess she knows she’s no goddess. Her self-image is one of imperfection and incompleteness.
That’s normal.
Only insane people think they’re perfect. She knows deep down that no one deserves instant adoration. Adoration has to be worked for. She respects you for not telegraphing sexual or romantic intent when she has made little effort.
Remember : She is not perfect and it simply drives her crazy when you act like she is.
Oh yeah, If she is perfect , then what is she doing with you in the first place , huh ?
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I recently asked a friend "How would you like to be wooed ?" or alternately "How would you like to be seduced ?"
And I did get an honest answer for my question.(Which will not be discussed here)
But here's the problem...
Women will continually tell you what they want(not just about how to woo them ), and a lot of them are very good people, but break through the mask of who they consciously are, and they want the opposite of everything they just told you.
Think you can break through the mask? Think again. That’s six layers of a specialized reinforced concrete known as mental makeup (cosmetics for personality). You’re not getting through anything, because she will not let you .
So here's the answer...Women have no idea what they want...well... they do have a vague idea...but nothing concrete really.
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Love, let us also talk about love :
We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever .But love isn't like that.It's a free flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases .Sometimes it stays for life , other times it stays for a second , a day , a month , or a year.So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable.But don't be surprised when it leaves ,either.Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.
It’s often said that love is self-hypnosis; a beautiful psychosis that takes hold and prompts us to act in ways that we would otherwise not even consider.
Love cannot be forced or enforced nor can it be demanded.
When you demand or force or enforce it , all you get is fear and hatred.
Because the idea of love can also be destructive for some people,it can be a self-deception that they can focus on as a way to avoid facing their shortcomings.
There are people who will fall in love with anyone who will have them.People with no standards.
I'm one of them.
I fall in love too easily !
Why, just yesterday I fell in love with Betty Soares , because her character had the ability to make me laugh.
A Good sense of Humour is very attractive in a woman .
And beauty is truly overrated.
Like me, There are people eager in love with the idea of being in love.
There are other people who fear falling in love. They are jaded, and create emotional barriers to prevent themselves from being hurt in the future.Ultimately, people process their experiences through a fog of emotions, and create and intensify these occurrences in their own minds.
Is it possible, that it is only when you don’t need love that you will find it?
Well , here's an experiment well worth a try...
I declare that I don't need love anymore !
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