Hazed , Dazed but Unfazed.

"OK .NOW WITH YOUR RIGHT HAND , YOU WILL CUP YOUR BALLS.FIRMLY ! LIKE THIS !"He showed us grabbing his own scrotum pulling it impossibly high and waving it around, "AND , EXTEND THE MIDDLE FINGER OF YOUR LEFT HAND AND STICK IT IN , LIKE THIS !"


Whaaaat ! Stick it in where ?.... Oh No ! Not there !

This was going to be a very looong night.

YOU ! " He shouted , brow knotted and nose flaring."ALL YOU JUNIORS , LISTEN UP ! THIS IS YOUR FIRST DAY IN THIS ACADEMY AND WE , AS YOUR SUPER-SENIORS WILL TEACH YOU WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE AN OFFICER"

His last name was Wagh , which meant Tiger.I heard a collective gulp of fear from my batchmatess.We felt like lambs up for slaughter!

"WE HERE IN THIS GRAND OLD INSTITUTION HAVE TO FOLLOW TRADITIONS! " Wagh kept hollering "Traditions are important for a sailor , and doubly important for an officer."

"LETS BEGIN THE INITIATION "Wagh shouted once again.

Out of nowhere two burly guys came and took two of us on to the podium.

We were in a dazed state of mind.
It was the middle of the night.

We had come to our training institute that very morning after a very long and tiring journey.Once in the isolated campus , we underwent registration and collecting our study material and going to our hostels.
Man , we were bushed .We were supposed to wake up at five AM , but some guys came up and woke all of us up in the middle of the night.Damn , I was pissed.


Wagh , our tiger with flaring nostrils continued..."Now we begin our initiation with our traditional song...repeat after me , while cupping your balls and your finger stuck firmly inside...AATOO MAATOO JHAATOO"

We sang in chorus... "Aato maatoo jhaatoo "

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU ! "

"AATOO MAATOO JHAATOO "

"That's much better !" said Wagh .

"AATOO. MAATOO. JHAATOO."
"L*ND. KA. MAKKHAN. "
"CH@#T. KA. DHAKKAN. "

"MEIN. APNE. SADE. HUE. L*ND. KE
KASAM. KA. KE. KEHTA. HOON .KI....."

It was a dirty limerick (please don't ask me to translate) , which we later found out that had been in existence for merely the last four years instead of the wildly exaggerated one hundred fifty years which our seniors had led us to believe.

I still remember standing there , cupping and fingering.Thank god I didn't know what the limerick meant back then , because back in those days I was one of the goody-goody boys who never swore and said any bad words.

The night was far from over...

"Look at my balls " a senior had just asked a timid looking fresher.When the timid boy would not look , he would be goaded and threatened .No sooner than the boy would look south , the senior would accuse him of being gay and say that he actually wanted the fresher to look into his eyeballs.

Some of us were asked to dance.We were asked to do dirty dancing , to make it as lusty and vulgar as possible , while the rest of us were made to sit and watch.The ones who were sitting were expressly forbidden to laugh at the ones who were dancing.The unfortunate ones that could not contain their laughter would be forced to join and participate in the dance.

I can't help it when there's something funny going on.Imagine watching a bunch of sleepy boys in their pajamas, dirty dancing , shaking their booty , swaying their hips , pouting and heaving non-existant boobs all over .

I laughed.

No .

Not only did I laugh , I guffawed , chortled and snorted like the little piggy that went to the market.I couldn't help it.I simply couldn't help it.

I was caught .In the next few minutes , two burly seniors would be hauling a very reluctant man on to the stage, and I would be , for the first time in my life , dirty dancing on a stage.

Brace yourself as this could turn ugly.

Anyone who knows a little about me , knows that I cannot dance.If there is anything in life at which I've miserably failed in , then that is Dancing.Dancing is greek to me , no it's more like esperanto ! I know how complicated dancing is...Your legs and hands move in unison and in different direction at the same time.The logistics of dancing are simply too mind boggling to a simpleton like me.Bad dancers usually have two left feet , but in my case , I had two left feet and two left hands and two cold un cooperating feet.

I know how complicated dancing is.wHICH IS WHY I RESPECT DANCERS or people who can move their body to the music and do it in a non-disgusting manner.

So there I was , on the stage , petrified and ordered by my seniors to look sexy while dancing.

Whatever that meant !

"DANCE " came a catcall "Shake your Boobs...shake it , shake it baby "

At this point , still frozen on the stage , I considered telling my seniors that as a guy I had no boobs to speak of and therefore would be unable to shake them , but this was not the time to act smart .
And thus I began dancing to a bunch of poker faced classmates.

To be continued...