We now know that 'writing makes you smart' , but there is a dark side to writing called Hypergraphia too which writers sometimes knowingly exploit to get their job done.
Hypergraphia , the unstoppable and overpowering desire to write , is commonly known as 'The Midnight Disease' , as this itch to put pen to paper becomes unbearable when sleep hormone melatonin starts pumping , post midnight.(I've personally woken up at 2 AM and have started writing at times !)
Words nag hypergraphics till they reluctantly get out of bed and compulsively jot down the phrases or sentences that are waiting
to be written and if this urge is ignored , then the words taunt their victimised host and the person can forget about a sound sleep.
While on one hand , hypergraphia can be a tormenting condition , on the other , aspiring writers take drugs to induce hypergraphia , but this does not always succeed because the fact is , hypergraphia does not promise talent.Not all hypergraphic writers are skilled and some produce senseless volumes like one word or sentence written over and over again , indicating an abnormal repetition of thoughts.
There are many criteria that have to be considered before calling someone hypergrhaic , but if you feel the unstoppable urge to jot down a well-framed phrase as soon as you hear it , if you underline and make countless notes in novels you read , if you write in margins and if at any time , a bag check reveals bits of paper on which you have scribbled words that are more precious than the money in your wallet(Guilty :) ) , then you just might be a hypergraphic.Another fact is that hypergrahic writers never edit
(Phew ! what a relief ! I edit a lot !)
They write and are unable to part with even those lines and words that they , themselves
agree are unimportant or unnecessary.This yearning to preserve every literary piece of work that
one has ever produced is a symptom of 'Manic Writing'.
Writer's Block
The much talked about and often romanticised Writer's Block is the polar opposite of hypergraphia.The block is loosely correlated anxiety and its span varies along a continuum ranging from a few hours to several decades !This could account for author-typicality's like gaps between one book and the next or mysteriously giving up writing altogether.However the prevalence of the block is overestimated due to the desire of people to come across as 'talented but on a tentative creative low' .So , don't miss the difference between blocked and talentless writers.Also , if an individual hates his assignment topic and thus cannot produce anything worth reading , it not indicate a block , because there is a possibility of words flowing if he's given a topic he likes .
The Muse Theory
The muse theory purports that an artist is at his creative best only when allowed to select his own topic.Thus every dip in creativity is not necessarily an indication of the block and could in fact , signal lack of talent or a need to change in topic.
Some additional facts.
1)Some hypergraphics write because they do not trust their memory and feel like important facts are slipping away.
2)Both hypergraphia and Writer's Block , by virtue of being linked with creativity , are allied with brain wiring and hormonal regulation .Both conditions are known to arise from abnormalities in the basic biological drive to communicate and hypergraphia in particular is coupled with alterations in the frontal lobe , temporal lobe and the limbic system.
3)Artists who hover on the brink of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) tend to be blocked only during certain months of the year.
4) Famous hypergrahics include R.L.Stevenson , Isaac Asimov , Van Gogh , Leonardo Da Vin ci , Henry Miller and sometimes even me !
5)Remedial measures include cognitive behavioural therapy and contemporary treatment involving 'attention deficit ' areas of the brain.
But on the other hand , both these conditions are also looked upon cynically and there exist people who feel terms like 'Hypergraphia' and 'Writer's Block' just serve to intellectualise and categorise phenomena that might be harmless and transient non-issues faced by anyone liked with writing as a hobby or vocation.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Ghosts are Real
Excerpts from "Ask The Barber "
I like her. She doesn't like me.Please help me...
If this is the case, either one of you has made a mistake in assessing your
intuition, or she is a neurotic mess who doesn't understand her feelings.
If you have ever found yourself drawn to someone who felt nothing for you, it is
most likely because you were hung up on her universal appeal, or you had an
experiential bias, or she had personal appeal but there was no biological connection. A
woman has fewer distractions so she is more in touch with the lacking biological
connection than your average man, so this type of relationship is unfortunately common
between a man and a woman.
And you must learn how to avoid this.
Experiential Bias
The concept is simple: Human beings cannot experience things properly without
an appropriate frame of context. So in any given situation, we are drawing on our past
experiences in order to understand the current one.
As a result, it's no wonder we find ourselves drawn to people who remind us of our
biggest heart-break, or attracted to people on television who resemble a painful crush.
Though this type of attraction may feel very emotional, it is only our memory at
work, and sometimes our logical mind as well. It is the part of our mind which searches
for context in order to experience.
In general, it is probably best to avoid people who remind us of former loves and
even to avoid developing types. This is a chaotic world filled with billions of individuals.
Once you start oversimplifying and categorizing the people to whom you are attracted,
your logical mind will begin interfering with your instincts. Do not trust your attraction to
people who resemble your ghosts. That is most likely a ghost issue, not an attraction
issue.
Conversely, you may decide for many reasons that you refuse to date women who
are taller than you, or who are white or black—or whatever. It is just as important to let
go of these negative preconceptions as well.
The "woman of your dreams" may look nothing like you expect her to look, nor
anything like the homeroom crush whom you always thought you deserved to marry.
Read this guy's story...
Beware of Ghosts
A number of years ago, I dated a crazy woman with
amazing sex-appeal. To make a very long story short,
it didn't work out and we had to break up. But the great
sex and the intensity of the thing left its mark because
our affair ended before any of the passion died down.
Since then, I have to watch myself because if I see
anyone who looks like her, I am immediately drawn.
A few years after she and I split, I met a much younger
woman who resembled that crazy, sexy ex-lover. I had
to work with the younger woman on a project, and felt
myself incredibly drawn to her. I couldn't get over the
resemblance—when I was around her, I had a really
difficult time maintaining my cool.
After a few weeks of working closely with her (and
luckily maintaining my cool), I finally noticed that this
woman was actually pretty uninteresting, nothing like
my crazy ex-, devoutly religious (and even a virgin),
and I'm sad to say she was as dumb as sack of
hammers. Beyond some of the physical characterised
this younger woman shared with my ex-, there was
absolutely nothing about her that interested me.
My brain was playing tricks.
I like her. She doesn't like me.Please help me...
If this is the case, either one of you has made a mistake in assessing your
intuition, or she is a neurotic mess who doesn't understand her feelings.
If you have ever found yourself drawn to someone who felt nothing for you, it is
most likely because you were hung up on her universal appeal, or you had an
experiential bias, or she had personal appeal but there was no biological connection. A
woman has fewer distractions so she is more in touch with the lacking biological
connection than your average man, so this type of relationship is unfortunately common
between a man and a woman.
And you must learn how to avoid this.
Experiential Bias
The concept is simple: Human beings cannot experience things properly without
an appropriate frame of context. So in any given situation, we are drawing on our past
experiences in order to understand the current one.
As a result, it's no wonder we find ourselves drawn to people who remind us of our
biggest heart-break, or attracted to people on television who resemble a painful crush.
Though this type of attraction may feel very emotional, it is only our memory at
work, and sometimes our logical mind as well. It is the part of our mind which searches
for context in order to experience.
In general, it is probably best to avoid people who remind us of former loves and
even to avoid developing types. This is a chaotic world filled with billions of individuals.
Once you start oversimplifying and categorizing the people to whom you are attracted,
your logical mind will begin interfering with your instincts. Do not trust your attraction to
people who resemble your ghosts. That is most likely a ghost issue, not an attraction
issue.
Conversely, you may decide for many reasons that you refuse to date women who
are taller than you, or who are white or black—or whatever. It is just as important to let
go of these negative preconceptions as well.
The "woman of your dreams" may look nothing like you expect her to look, nor
anything like the homeroom crush whom you always thought you deserved to marry.
Read this guy's story...
Beware of Ghosts
A number of years ago, I dated a crazy woman with
amazing sex-appeal. To make a very long story short,
it didn't work out and we had to break up. But the great
sex and the intensity of the thing left its mark because
our affair ended before any of the passion died down.
Since then, I have to watch myself because if I see
anyone who looks like her, I am immediately drawn.
A few years after she and I split, I met a much younger
woman who resembled that crazy, sexy ex-lover. I had
to work with the younger woman on a project, and felt
myself incredibly drawn to her. I couldn't get over the
resemblance—when I was around her, I had a really
difficult time maintaining my cool.
After a few weeks of working closely with her (and
luckily maintaining my cool), I finally noticed that this
woman was actually pretty uninteresting, nothing like
my crazy ex-, devoutly religious (and even a virgin),
and I'm sad to say she was as dumb as sack of
hammers. Beyond some of the physical characterised
this younger woman shared with my ex-, there was
absolutely nothing about her that interested me.
My brain was playing tricks.
Counter fetishism: For every fetishist there is an equal and opposite !
Fetishism is a special kind of turn on , where the man gets the impact from a particular part of the female body or from some feminine personal possession: hair or scarves , hands or gloves , feet or shoes .These parts of the body or feminine objects are said by some to be "symbolic substitutes for the loved person".It is much more likely that they are imprintings from early childhood , due to events which happened just at the right time and under the right circumstances to make a permanent hookup.Fetishism is difficult to cure, partly or mainly because few fetishists want to be cured.Many of them get the same bang from the sight or touch or smell of their fetish as a drug addict does from his heroin or Methadone.The prospect of giving up these thrills for square passion has little appeal for them unless their fetish is so far out that it gets them into serious trouble.
A dedicated fetishist does not usually make a good husband unless he happens to find exactly the right wife.
Since to some extent all men have their preferences , and a great many have at least mild fetishes , one of the easiest ways for a woman to p;ease and hang on to a man is to find out covertly what his fetishes are and indulge or even cater to them secretly .This is certainly what makes (and has made throughout history ) successful Mistresses.Many a war has been fought and many a kingdom made or lost because of a bit of ribbon or lace worn in the proper fetching place.But the matter can be handled more honestly , and perhaps even more effectively , by asking him outright what his fetishes are, and then indulging him.(Much like Bree in Desperate Housewives)
Which brings us to a much neglected subject : the counter fetishist, what Dr.Berne would like to call the fetishera.Nearly all fetishists are men.But for every man who is hung up on shoes , there is a woman ready to cater to and groove with him , and for every man who gets his thrills from hair , there is a woman who gets hers from having her locks raped.
The groundwork laid for a fetish turn on , depends on the things his family empathized, particularly his mother .In fact the basic rule for fetishes is that the man's fetish is the same as the fetish of his mother's.For example , if the mother took a childlike fascination in collecting a closet full of shoes , he may have a childlike fascination with women's shoes.and her daughter may too.He becomes a shoe fetishist and his sister a fetishera, although it does not work out that neatly.But in general , when a fetishist meets his fetishera and says , "My mother had a closet full of shoes ", fetishera says " "So did mine "
He means :"Mother loved her shoes and so did I ; that's why I'm hung up on your shoes "
She means : "father loved mother's shoes , and thats why I'm hung up on shoes , so i'm glad you love mine "The same applies to large breasts or buttocks , long hair , tight slacks , ruffled skirts , petticoats , furs , or hiking books .the combination of imprinting and sexy secrets in the family becomes irresistible.
A dedicated fetishist does not usually make a good husband unless he happens to find exactly the right wife.
Since to some extent all men have their preferences , and a great many have at least mild fetishes , one of the easiest ways for a woman to p;ease and hang on to a man is to find out covertly what his fetishes are and indulge or even cater to them secretly .This is certainly what makes (and has made throughout history ) successful Mistresses.Many a war has been fought and many a kingdom made or lost because of a bit of ribbon or lace worn in the proper fetching place.But the matter can be handled more honestly , and perhaps even more effectively , by asking him outright what his fetishes are, and then indulging him.(Much like Bree in Desperate Housewives)
Which brings us to a much neglected subject : the counter fetishist, what Dr.Berne would like to call the fetishera.Nearly all fetishists are men.But for every man who is hung up on shoes , there is a woman ready to cater to and groove with him , and for every man who gets his thrills from hair , there is a woman who gets hers from having her locks raped.
The groundwork laid for a fetish turn on , depends on the things his family empathized, particularly his mother .In fact the basic rule for fetishes is that the man's fetish is the same as the fetish of his mother's.For example , if the mother took a childlike fascination in collecting a closet full of shoes , he may have a childlike fascination with women's shoes.and her daughter may too.He becomes a shoe fetishist and his sister a fetishera, although it does not work out that neatly.But in general , when a fetishist meets his fetishera and says , "My mother had a closet full of shoes ", fetishera says " "So did mine "
He means :"Mother loved her shoes and so did I ; that's why I'm hung up on your shoes "
She means : "father loved mother's shoes , and thats why I'm hung up on shoes , so i'm glad you love mine "The same applies to large breasts or buttocks , long hair , tight slacks , ruffled skirts , petticoats , furs , or hiking books .the combination of imprinting and sexy secrets in the family becomes irresistible.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls
What do Douglas MacArthur , Franklin D Roosevelt , Harry Truman and Frank Lloyd Wright all have in common?
They were all 'mama's boys'(technically called "mammothrepts")
Throughout their lifetimes , these men maintained exceptionally close contact with their mothers .While they led their country's military , presided in the land's highest office , and created architectural masterpieces , they sustained an unusually tight allegiance to their mothers.
At the turn of the 20th century , Freudian psychoanalysts warned that overprotective mothers could cause seriuous developmental problems in their sons.In 1942 , novelist and social critic Philip Wylie published "Generation Of vipers" , the book that derided and ridiculed the role of mothers and coined the term 'momism'.Because of Wylie'swork , the expression "mama's boy" took on an even more derogatory connotation.To this day , many people believe that a mama's boy is overprotected , spoiled and unable to think for himself.Consequently , women tend to fear getting involved with a mama's boy.
We could also ask what Pinky MacArthur , Sara Roosevelt ,Martha Truman , and Anna Wright have in common .Yes , they were the mothers of the famous mama's boys listed earlier, but they were also daddy's girls , women who had extraordinarily close relationships with their fathers.In an age when women weren't allowed to excel in most fields , these strong women had to sublimate their ambitions ; they succeeded vicariously through their famous sons.
The study of "daddy's girls" is a relatively new area of research .Studies indicate that many females who use Dad as a mentor have learned the culturally masculine stereotypes associated with achievement and may have a "leg up " in fields traditionally reserved for men.Perhaps because of this , marrying a daddy's girl can be a threatening event for many men.
We all fear the prospect of getting into a relationship with mama's boys and daddy's girls.
But all in all , let us consider the positive points of your relationships with mama's boys or daddy's girls.
1) Mama's boys tend to revere their wives more than men who aren't close to their mothers.If he remembers her birthday and calls her regularly , then you too will be the recipient of similar benefits.
2) When men are accustomed to talking things over with their moms , their communication lines will probably be more open to other women in their lives , and that includes you.
3) Mama's Boys are lovers of tradition .His mother will go out of her way to keep those traditions alive .As a result , there will be less work for you over th eholidays because his mama will do the most of it.
4) Daddy's girls are used to a relationship of equals.In identifying with their fathers , they have learned many of stereotypical masculine traits and can more easily see things from a male point of view.
5) Many daddy's girls are flexible.They 're into convenience , ease and simplicity , just like a man.
6) Daddy's girls aren't likely to crumble under pressure .they generally know what they want and they're willing to compete for it.They'll manage you ina way that makes sense to you, so why not sit back and enjoy it ?
7) Finally , the fact that a daddy's girl chooses you suggests that you have many of the qualities she admires in her father.
So here's what you can do ,if you have fallen for a mama's boy or a daddy's girl , don't try to compete .Your best bet is to make friends with your mate's mom or dad.It is to your benefit to work with this bond rater than opposing it.Your relationship with your mate will be stronger if you learn to accommodate these people who are so special in your lover's eyes.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Doppelganger
We are strange creatures - both of us.Our destinies are joined but never entwined.
Our lives run in parallel.
Think about it-- Haven't we both had a major upheaval in life in the recent history ?
Isn't there a self realization of our unresolved potential?
And a strange restlessness, as pangs of hunger remind us of our unfulfilled destinies ?
It has been a wonderful journey so far...
We have sensed the exhilaration - the sheer joy that comes with the treading upon a new and uncharted path.
It seems we have a deeper connection-which supersedes all physical , mental and intellectual barriers - giving us the power to strip each other to bare essence - to gaze upon the purity of the soul and see in it nothing but the divine truth.
I now know; what you are to me...
You are my anchor ,
My witness ,my muse,
You are my doppelganger,
a welcome imbiber,
of my heart and soul.
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