Some girls are born to be anorexic

I have a cousin who eats like a horse,and is yet reed thin...All the other girls are jealous of her.

London, March 30: A new study has busted decades of belief that anorexia is mainly caused by social factors, after researchers have found some girls are born to be anorexic.

Researchers have carried out the study and found that most sufferers are predisposed to the eating disorder because of the way their brains developed in the womb, a finding they claim could revolutionise treatment of the eating disorder.

"Our research shows that certain kids' brains develop in such a way that makes them more vulnerable to commonly known risk factors for eating disorders -- such as the size zero debate, media representations of very skinny women and bad parents," lead researcher Dr Ian Frampton said.

For their study, the researchers at London's Great Ormond Street Hospital tested more than 200 anorexia sufferers from Britain, the US and Norway. All were females aged between 12 and 25 and were being treated in private hospitals.

The researchers found around 70 per cent had suffered damage to neurotransmitters, that help brain cells communicate or had undergone other subtle changes in the structure of their brains, the 'Daily Mail' reported.

One in every few hundred girls may be affected in this way, according to Dr Frampton. He said the condition is caused by random conditions, not poor maternal diet or environmental.

The "imperfect wiring" of the brain is similar to that seen in people with dyslexia, depression or hyperactivity.

"These findings could help us to understand a disease we don't know how to treat. Arguments that social factors, such as girls feeling under pressure to lose weight to look like high-profile women in the media, contain logical flaws because almost everyone is exposed to them yet only a small percentage of young people get anorexia.

"Those things are important but there must be other factors, involving  genetics and science, that make some young people much more vulnerable than others," Dr Frampton said.

Simplicity

Simplicity...something we, as self perceived intellectuals abhor wholeheartedly must be looked upon once again.

Occam's Razor does not mean that the simplest solution is always true...Moreover true reductionism is not always possible.

In the preface to the second edition of 'The Story Of Philosophy', author Will Durant writes 'The worst sin of all-though the critics do not seem to have noticed it-was the omission of Chinese and Hindu Philosophy...'

The aversion seems to have sprung from the banal intelligibility of Confucius,Buddha and Shankara et al.

He writes further'...But we "moderns" have become so accustomed to windy verbiage that when philosophy is presented without the verbiage we can with difficulty recognize it.'

"...he is disreputably intelligible; and nothing could be so damaging to a philosopher...' he adds.

But if you haven't noticed before...the best things in life are simple.

The best things in life are simple,but only in a reductionist sense of view, for even a superficially simple phenomenon may have a complex mechanisms behind it and revealing the apparent complexity will simply make it ...well ...simply no longer the best.

Yes...one must not confuse topicality with simplicity.

Years later, I once again climbed on my mango tree.

Back then, things were simple.We spent endless summer days playing under the hot sun,without a worry or a drop of sunscreen.We never wore helmets,knee-guards,elbow pads while cycling.There was no safety net when we swung from a rope tied  atop the guava tree on my neighbours backyard.

We didn't have computers,internet or cellphones...I took the cycle to my school, parked it with the rest of the cycles.We played in the mud, got dirty,bruised and tired.A cold glass of lemonade awaited us at the end of the day.

So as I used to do, once upon a time, as a kid(was it that long ago?), I climbed on my mango tree.I'm not as nimble as I used to be, and I had to struggle and heave myself to get up...also, the branches groaned unkindly now that I weighed much more in my adulthood.

I plucked a few tender mangoes...green and pungent in aroma...an aroma such that it would render you to salivate as you imagined the taste of the delicious yet sour flesh of the tender mango.

Tender mango diced into small cubes,a generous helping of salt and chili powder and a tablespoon of coconut oil to tamp down the fiery heat of the chillipowder...My exquisitely delicious Mango Pacchadi was ready...which was the staple diet of kids everywhere in our city in the summers.

Each bite of the fiery salty sourness took me back to places I  had not been for a long time...Memories made me nostalgic once again, as I saw a fresh bunch of kids spend their summer vacations in our otherwise sleepy neighbourhood.

But I refrained myself from repeating the old lies that 'those days were better than what you have now'.

Those days were different.

I'm not the Ben 10,Bey blade,Pokemon generation.

I'll never be it no matter how much I try to immerse myself or understand.

For all practical purposes, there exists a threshold of understanding, which we have conveniently termed as 'Generation gap'...because what appears simple to these kids is confoundedly complex to us...and the chasm of understanding is widening as we speak.

The mango pacchadi tasted the best when it had no more than 3 ingredients...But Why So? is another question, something not to be pondered upon.

But...things are neither better nor worse...they are simply different and as the french say

C'est la vie...

texts from last night

http://textsfromlastnight.blogspot.com/

FAKE Blog

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Contact for everyone on Earth….almost |

http://www.dailypaul.com/node/64011

When in Doubt, Seek Opinion of Others

                    ( Stumbling Upon Happiness-Daniel Gilbert -is one of my favourite non-fiction books, eventhough his first chapter titled 'Prospection' was recently proven to be wrong by an ape in a zoo. and in other places.)

When in Doubt Seek Other's Opinion

Other People's Experiences Help You Predict Your Own Happiness, Study Says

 

 

The next time you’re having trouble deciding whether this or that will make you happy, don’t fret too long - just go ask a stranger.

His or her experience may be more informative than your own best guess, says a new Harvard University study.

“If you want to know how much you will enjoy an experience, you are better off knowing how much someone else enjoyed it than knowing anything about the experience itself,” Daniel Gilbert, PhD, a professor of psychology at Harvard, says in a news release.

The study, which appears in the journal Science, notes that previous research has shown that people often have trouble predicting what they’ll like and how much they’ll like it.

Gilbert and a team of researchers set out to eliminate that kind of fickleness from the calculus of the question by asking people to predict how much they’d enjoy a future event that they knew nothing about -- except how much a total stranger had enjoyed it.

Those people, it turns out, made extremely accurate predictions, say the researchers, who included Matthew Killingsworth and Rebecca Eyre, also of Harvard, and Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia.

Do strangers know the best?

Undergraduate women in one experiment predicted how much they would enjoy a “speed date” with a male student.

Some women read the man’s personal profile and saw his photograph; others knew nothing about the guy. But those who didn’t see a picture or read a guy’s profile did find out how much another woman they’d never met had enjoyed meeting him on a speed date. Women who learned about another woman’s experience did a much better job of predicting their own enjoyment of the speed date than women who reviewed the man’s written personality profile and picture.

Both groups of women mistakenly expected the profile and photo to lead to greater accuracy. They also said they’d strongly prefer to have the profile and photograph of their next date.

In another part of the study, two groups of participants were asked to predict how they would feel if they received negative personality feedback from a peer.

Some were given negative personality feedback presumably from a peer, and others received a stranger's report of how it felt to have personally received a negative report. Again, participants who were given information from a stranger describing their own feelings about receiving a negative report more accurately predicted their own reactions to negative feedback, the researchers say.

Gateway to Happiness:Learning From Other's Experiences

“People do not realize what a powerful source of information another person’s experience can be because they mistakenly believe that everyone is remarkably different from everyone else,” Gilbert says.

But the truth is, “an alien who knew all the likes and dislikes of a single human being would know a great deal about the species,” he says in the article.

Gilbert says people “believe that the best way to predict how happy they will be in the future is to know what their future holds, but what they should really want to know is how happy those who’ve been to the future actually turned out to be.”

What Do You Say After You Say Hello?

One more marriage!

This was hilarious because I've never seen the bride before in my life.She is supposedly a distant cousin...which brings me to a philosophical question"Aren't we all distant cousins to each other ?"

This time I followed KCG's trick and surprised quite a few of my relatives!

"Of course I remember You, Uncle...How can I ever forget you?"

Usually I carry  a lifeline(more like a boreline) to weddings...like a book,my iPod or even a newspaper.This is to ensure that I'm not bored even for a minute.But this time, I went commando (No, I always wear boxers), with no lifelines in hand.

This is a brave new phase for me.

Things you notice:

There is an insidious and nefarious nexus of people in a marriage who come there for totally different reasons:Schmoozing, networking, matchmaking,flaunting,information exchange(gossip) and last but not the least...the saddest variety of  people  come here to have a grand wedding feast.

We had a few caucasians...they were from Netherlands.They were simply curious about all the weird and colurful and noisy rituals and wonderfully arcane customs of the wedding.They asked what it all meant.I simply shook my head and said "F#%$ knows"

Mom, as ever ,forced me to meet a few girls...and then surreptiously asked me if I liked any of them.The girls acted coy.I acted confident and charming.We exchanged perfunctory pleasantries.

It was all over within a minute.

Next!

As I've said before, I don't enjoy family gatherings.Once I go there, I meet people who I've categorized into these groups.

1)People I vaguely know.

2)People I don't know, but who know me (and ask me inane questions like "Hey , Remember Me?"

3)People who I am mutually strangers with.

4)People who I know but will avoid at all costs.(like that creepy old lady who likes to be touchy feely a lot)

5)Lastly...the Invisibles (these are people who are there but are not of any concern to you.For all practical purposes, they are invisible)

Group 1) and 2) pose the most problem.The problem being...What do you say after you say Hello?

Hello Aunty...nice seeing you here...Umm...er...excuse me, I've left my defibrillator in the parking lot!

Hello uncle! ...How are you...I'm fine...Hot day isn't it?...Umm...er...excuse me, my cat is getting a divorce, and I'm her lawyer...

What do you say after you say Hello? There's dead air between us...no history,no chemistry,and absolutely no interest in keeping the conversation alive...and that's when you come up with some brilliant excuses!

In any marriage you see, the females are there with a purpose, and men are there clutching their female's purse.

                                           Look at the females...aren't they social creatures?                      They are there for a reason...the old aunties are there to revive the 'Old Girls Network' .The young aunties are there to flaunt their new jewellry and saris.Mothers are on the lookout for eligible bachelors.Unmarried Daughters are there to be noticed.

I'm there because mom dragged me.Her greatest thrill these days is to show me to other people.Predictable reactions ensue "WHAT! DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG SON! YOU LOOK SO YOUNG!"

I'm adopted...I grumble.

In looking at women's clothes in a wedding, one can always tell who's next in line, who's ready to be married off, by the degree of well dressedness.The bride is by default the best dressed female in the wedding.I think that's her only incentive to get married...to be princess for a day, and be envied by all others.

The second best dressed girl is usually next in line for marriage.She's there for a reason.It's her interview with all the people.She's smiling,nodding, and graciously answering everyone's questions.All this for a boy? Honey, he ain't worth all that effort.(But I am)

I met the second best dressed girl today...What do you say after you say Hello?

Apparently we knew each other once upon a time.I apologised and confessed that I didn't know who the hell she was, but spoke to her on the assumption of past chemistry(I used to pull at her pigtails and she used to beat me up when we were six)

What do you say after you say Hello?  Its no longer a problem.I talk about everything as if I've known them for years.

I found out that Me and M/s Pig Tail had a lot to talk about...

赳olcats

http://rolcats.com/
From Russia With LOL !

Floodgates

She was beautiful once.

You knew that by the way she acted around other men...sometimes even you.

Such sense of entitlement...that her actions seemed ridiculous, her demands preposterous, now that her glory days were well past her.

We were friends who gradually drifted away.Sometimes people just do that for no apparent reason.

In writing this, I was searching for a quote by Salman Rushdie that went something like "Why are men so interested in women than women in men".

He might have said that, by almighty Google could not find anything remotely close enough.As they say GIGO, or Garbage In , Garbage Out.

The aforementioned quote existed somewhere in this infinite inky vastness called the universe, but my search methods were simply too sloppy to find it.

The general rule of the universe was that men found women very interesting and women found women interseting too.The oppsites simply did not attract each other equally. 

She was interesting because of her strange sense of entitlement, becuase of her unflappable belief.Because of the inherent tragedy that was her life(as she made it sound)

What is the strongest part of a man (also woman)?

His belief.At times ,his belief is also his weakest part.

This girl believed stronglyabout certain certainities and events in her life.She believed that deserved the best in life, and that she always got it but with a good fight.

She was vaguely interested in me because I was a man with a forked tongue...silvery lies dripping easily and rolling with mercurial ease.

Here is a genuine Salman Rushdie quote "How come we don’t always know when love begins, but we always know when it ends?”

The man with a forked tongue...I could lie on the fly...outlie everybody with the delicateness and precision of a sushi chef.

                       The greatest thrill of lying is when you get away with it.The essence of a lie is to believe in it yourself, even if for a fraction of a second, so that the beilef itself is firmly embedded in your psyche.

The effectiveness of my silvery-slithery-slippery untruth was fully realized when she asked me to marry her...well she did not do it in a direct manner as you and I would have done it, but she proposed that we run away somewhere.Always a Drama Queen , her life was full of people who had hurt her, tragedies and traumas that had befallen her and she was always the victim.But a triumphant Victim nonetheless.

Her proposal left me speechless.My forked tongue was all of a sudden impotent and ineffective.

                           Was it desperation?

                                                      She was engaged to someone she did not like.

She was forced into the relationship by her parents,as a  price to pay for her past indiscretions.Her assent was the price for her freedom, her emancipation.

My prose might seem overflowing with vacous rhetoric, but this is the only way I can protect her and yet tell my story(which was her story with me in bit roles)

We met yesterday.She seemed distant yet friendly.Her behavior did not indicate any ugly reaction to my sudden disappearance.She asked me if I could drop her someplace.I agreed reluctantly.We had many things to talk about, and things would turn ugly.

She was quiet for a while.Then she said that I had changed.So had she, I told her.She asked me a few dry perfunctory questions about my life.I accused her of avoiding me, while fully knowing it was the other way around.

This opened the floodgates.An outpour that confirmed another one of Salman Rushdie's quotes"The only feeling of real loss is when you love someone more than you love your self.”

                                           It would take time...

I took a wrong turn, and went on the other way.The floodgates had just been opened...the seiches and undulations would take some time to calm down, so I took another wrong turn and headed the opposite way.

As I sensed the tide of anger ebbing away, I headed towards the right direction.I needed to see the seabed uncovered beneath the floodgates that were so deep and held so much.

So I lied once again.

And I let them open.

It was the least I could do.

Oh! The fun they must have!

(Rejected Title:Scenes from a Torture Rack Too!)

Oh ! The fun they must have!

Dentists must get the funniest patients.Their patients are always lying prone in weird facial postures, and they always start the babbling-baby talk after the anaesthetic...

WhooHoo! A barrel full of monkeys!

The only other doctors who can possibly have more fun than dentists are Gay Proctologists and Foot Fethisist-Podiatrists.I bet these guys are permanently stationed on the seventh heaven!

Of course, psychiatrists get their fair share of crazy-funny -loonies, but we've all seen 'Sixth Sense' to know that it ain't always a barrel full of monkeys.

My dentist is a nice guy, but not really known for his gentleness.I mean, he made me wear these ridiculously bright white temporary crowns for a week.These crowns were so white , so humongous, that it looked like piano keys instead of teeth.And worst of it all, I was required to go in the public, and make a few speeches to students!

The busiest social week in my life with piano keys stuck in my mouth! Talk about social awkwardness! Now don't ask me why I don't flirt these days!

But that wasn't really it either.It was the way he removed those temporary crowns that revealed his lack of gentleness.He used a hammer and a drill! My mouth felt like a kitchen sink being repaired by a plumber!

But that was not it either.Whenever he drilled in my mouth, he would pry my jaws open(even though I could keep them open myself)...and also place his palm squarely on my nose.I couldn't breathe.Ha Ha...I had to stop him many times in between so that I could breathe.

But the results were excellent.He matched the shades of the fake to the natural teeth precisely.My slight overbite is gone, and my smile has improved.Today, after the restorationI just saw a girl swoon after I smiled at her! I'm Baaaaack ! He he he!

I am no longer  a Gap Toothed Idiot.Alfred E Neuman can take his rightful place at any time.I humbly relinquish my throne to its rightful heir.

As I was nearing the end of my Dental-Restoration saga, a sense of foreboding overcame me.

I would soon be normal again.

No more excuses.No more privileged treatment.No more sense of entitlement.

I'd have to own up to my actions.

And tomorrow, I have another speech to give...to nearly 300 students, and I'm not a bit prepared!

Scenes from a Torture Rack

(Rejected Title:Blood,Pain and Random thoughts on a dentist's chair)

Pain is good.It reassures you that you are alive.

I'm not afraid of pain.I've inherited the thick-buffalo-skinned high pain threshold gene from my dad's side.Me and my dad are often unfazed after a session of bumping and banging into things.As a kid, I used to poke needles into my skin just to show off!

Whirrrr!    The dental drill drones menacingly.

The masked dentist stops and tells" I'll have to go deeper into your gums.This might pain a little.Do you want an anaesthetic?"

"Not necessary Doc! " I reply

But you could've told this to me earlier when you were actually drilling into my tender and sensitive gums!

"Nope! I can bear it"

Whirrrrrr!    He continues.

This is the final stage of my dental restoration saga.Going against my friend's advice, I chose to have a Dental Bridge instead of a Dental Implant.Reason? Time Constraints.I simply could not wait for another two months.

Also, another friend had told me that the upper jaw has more porous bone structure than the lower jaw making it an un-viable and unreliable site for an implant.

Whirrrrrr! The drill drones.

My dentist is supposed to reduce my teeth by a millimeter...Now that doesn't seem like much, but believe me, the end result was that my pearly whites were reduced to mere stubs!

What you don't know cannot hurt you.

While sitting on the chair, I just realized that I had disproved the above saying.

While the dentist was cutting into my gums without informing me, it hurt a lot.

He then asked me to choose between numbness and pain, between feeling and un-feeling.The choice was obvious.Numbness would lose again.I'd always choose to feel.

But the pain was not as intense when I knew it would hurt.My mouth was open and a steady stream of blood,saliva & water dribbled on the apron, and all I could think was that the anticipation of pain had somehow numbed it down.

In life, it was only the pain that came out of nowhere and blindsided you that hurt you the most.For everything else,the coping mechanisms inside your head had ways of making you 'Comfortably Numb"

(The included picture is for humorous purposes only and does not intend to undermine my dentist's expertise or professionalism.BTW, my dentist's drill is much smaller, but equally effective in inflicting pain! Ha ha)

Is currently writing a story about...

A ladies man, who has the power to seduce any women he wants.

He was born on March 8th.

He has a secret technique up his sleeve called the 'soul gaze of seduction', wherein he can look into your soul and make it stir deep within and hold you in a thrall.

Obviously, the story is a fantasy targeting male readers who have had the same level of success with women as the author.

The story is not autobiographical in any way.(but the author wishes it was)

(The picture of Homer Simpson is for illustrative purposes only.Niether Matt Groening nor Fox Broadcasting Company are affiliated with the aforementioned fictional story)

 

How far would you go for love?(and other random observations)

Only thoughts can be random...the very act of penning down your thoughts destroys the randomness that was originally present...thus making this title a lie.

Holy Shit!

How would you react if I told you that somewhere in this world, shit is holy,

You'd go (quite predictably) 'Holy Shit!'

But in India, cows are holy, and most things from a cow are equally holy.Thus we have the holy cow, the holy cow's holy milk (and all other milk derivatives like holy butter,holy ghee,holy paneer), holy cow's holy piss, holy cow's holy shit (which we like to call cowdung).

But elsewhere, holy cows make tasty hamburgers!

I wish you all a Happy Holy.(coming soon to a store near you on march 11th)

How far would you go for love?

A: 48 +- 5 km.

God requires topless men!

             There are a few temples in india, where if you are a man, you have to go topless to gain entrance(I find it sexist that women are exempted).As a shy boy once upon a time, I had refused to risrobe in front of total strangers.I wanted a valid reason for stripping myself.Mom told me that it was so that god could know that you were literally pure.I bet she didn't know the real reason.

Without a shirt, in India, anyone can know your religion and caste and your general heirarchy in matters of divinity.Brahmins and Kshatriyas wear a holy thread called janiwu and it denotes their upper ranks to the rest of the world.

On that fateful day, I steadfastly refused to take off my shirt.I was no longer shy...rather simply too stubborn.

Disinhibition

I spoke to my ex-neighbour today...we were chatting via IM.

In alll the years we were next to each other, I don't remember talking to her for more than five minutes.Those talks were filled with awkward pauses and silences.Today though, we spoke for two whole hours, and shared things we never would dream of sharing when facing each other.We now know more about each other more than what we knew from the past eleven years that we lived next to each other.

It was possible because we weren't actually talking to each other.We were staring at the monitor and responding to a string of sentences and coded textual information instead of flesh and blood.

Complic8ed

Trying to simplify certain actions tend to over-complicate it...take for instance the act of shaving and break it down into minute steps.(I'll keep it simple)

1)Apply a detergent based foam on face and aerate it with a shaving brush or fingers.

2)Let an approximate time interval pass by so that hair follicles are sufficiently softened and the skin well lubricated.

3)Take a very sharp blade and ritualistically drag it across the skin in an attempt to cut hair follicles and abrade the skin.

4)Rinse and Repeat if necessary (or if required results are not obtained)

5)Your instruments sometimes resemble heat seeking missiles with multiple projectiles.

Lofty claims such as 'The best a man can get' are made.Other lofty claims include cavorting suprmodels who are attracted to a follicularly challenged man.

Sick men are big babies.

Moti bit me.

I took full advantage of it by telling it to anyone who cared to listen and gathered as much sympathy as I could.I also shamelessly let mom pamper me for the last 3 days.

Social Value

I've noticed that it is very easy to approach other girls if you are already with a girl.If you go alone, there is a chance that you'll be labeled a creep.A girl on your side gives you full access to shameless flirting without any negative repercussions.

The presence of a woman by your side also softens up other men...makes them more suggestible and compliant.

Ok...Now I need a girl by my side (preferably smart and beautiful) to rule the world.First , we get all the women to follow us, and then the men will automatically follow.

Practice your BWAHAHAHA well.It'll come in handy.

Different Tastes

I didn't get to watch dilli 6.Now I don't know if it is a bad movie, because I don't believe in what others say.I neither listen to critics nor to the masses.

Tomorrow, I have to go to a movie with a Abhishek Bacchan hating Anglophobe who also hates horror movies and Anurag Kashyap.

The only choice as of now...Dhoondte Reh Jaaoge!

Let me ask you again...

How far would you go for love?

A: Reviews will be posted soon!

Losing Your Virginity - Guide for Male Virgins

http://www.virgins-guide.com/
Bwa-ahahahahahahaha!

Internet...there's something for everyone.

So how much do you really know about anyone?

Moti my dog bit me today.

He panicked.

He was always afraid of those big trucks...and one was parked right around the corner near the place we go every evening for our daily walk.

A car came and was about to run over moti.I stopped the car and tried to pull moti towards my side.My hand went to his collar and the truck revved its engine.

He panicked.He bit my right hand ...he literally gnawed on it.

I had to hold my cool and calmly lead moti to safety, which I did, in spite of the throbbing pain and profuse bleeding in my right palm.

Of course, I had to rush to get an anti-rabies shot.With my hand still hurting, mom had to drive.If you seen mom drive, you'll think she's speed racer on a scooter.

She rushed to the store where she knows they are stored in refrigerated conditions(+2  to +8 deg c) and then broke a red light and took me to the clinic.She justified it by telling me that the traffic cop was looking the other way,and that my treatment was first priority.

The nurses couldn't teasing me.

They insisted that they give the intra-muscular injection to the buttocks.Their reason was that it hurt a lot less.

Sure! Gluteus Maximus is the largest muscle but hey! I'm in pain! And I'm in no mood to strip!

I told them that my shoulder would have to do...

Finally they complied and jabbed it deep into my left shoulder.

Wow! More than the pain, I'm hurt that Moti would actually bite me so hard.Oh Yes...My hand has a few deep punctures, and it is throbbing like a  (insert appropriate simile).

I don't know , but I'm feeling really low after getting bitten.Its a combination of physical pain and mental, I guess.

Things You Notice

I was very frustrated the day before yesterday.

Me and my friends had made plans to go out, and it got cancelled the last minute.

(that's another post in itself)

As soon as it was cancelled I was forced to attend a Threading Ceremony(Brahmopadesham) of a distant cousin.

I don't like family get togethers.You have to meet a bunch of people you don't know and then renew acquaintances with them.

Son, I'd like you to meet Mr.Chandrashekar...He is your aunt's second cousin and that his long lost step sister found in the Kumbh Mela.

Hello Uncle! (In India everyone is an uncle or an aunty to someone)

Son, this is Saroja...we are related to her in a slightly more complicated manner.Let me get out the Venn Diagrams and the scientific calculator to explain it to you.

Hello Aunty!

This is Veena,Damodar,Prabhakar and Lalitha...Remember Anu's wedding? Well they are all Anu's relatives.This will require more than just a venn diagram, a family tree chart and a logarithm table.By the way, do you still remember fundamental quantum physics?

Sure Mom, introduce them all...Five minutes later I'll have forgotten most of it!

Ah! The joys of a family get together!

On top of it, these get-togethers have a hidden agenda.People come there with ulterior motives.Match-Making is one of them.The sea of relatives have hidden in them Match-makers and other sharks and killer whales.

Have you noticed that when you have some self-perceived flaw you tend to notice other people with the same flaw?

I mean, a bald guy in a group will always know the follicular status of every other person, like hairlines(receding or not),follicular density,scalp condition etc.

I see dead people.

Ever since I'm wearing dentures , I've acquired a sixth sense about other people wearing dentures.I can spot these people a mile away.

Ok...I see a sign...I see the light...I see that your first 4 teeth are fake!

It is scary, but I see people with dentures everywhere.

Now, since I've kept it a secret that I had an accident and lost my teeth, I'm worried that other denture wearing people have the same psychic powers and can see through my fake removable teeth.

Coming back to the subject of family get-togethers and match-making...a shark approaches my mom and tells her 'Hey! Your son is ready to get married isn't he?...Why else would you bring him to family-get-togethers?'

'No! He can't get married! He's too young...He's just a baby!'

'Mom! I'm not a baby!'

'So, does that mean you want to get married?'

'No! That's not what I meant...I don't want to get married either...I'm too young!'

'You are just a baby!'

'No I'm not! No I'm not! No I'm not! ...Now If you'll excuse me ...I seem to be missing my pacifier'

It's true...Mom is trying to find a girl for me.

Me? Why?

But she didn't think anyone in that group was suitable for me.

'Mom! Why didn't you tell me about this before?'

'Then you wouldn't have come'

I explain to mom that I'm not on the market.I have zero market value...

Now someone like my friend KCG will have a huge market value.

One word.

IIM Graduate.(ok... make that two words)

IIM Grad sums it all.

Smart (make that frighteningly smart...he'll literally blow you away),

handsome (not all IIM grads are handsome, but believe me...this dude is),

funny (hey! He is funnier than me...nuff said),

all round good boy( we were bonafide good boys in our childhood...we would self-censor all expletives by adding a bleep to it...we thought it was funny...we'd say you bleeping bleep...bleep off!)

In short, a good catch.I'm sure his parents have been approached a million times by match makers and other sharks and dangerous creatures.

I imagine girls throwing themselves on him everywhere he goes.( I have a wild imagination, sorry dude)

Of course...I've had a few crushes to contend with too.

As soon as I entered the get-together, I noticed a few stares.Mostly from parents and a few match makers and a few sharks.

There was an orbiter too.She was too shy to actually come up to me, so she wound up showing up conspicuously wherever I went.It was kinda cute!

She was in seventh grade.

I didn't have to do the math to know that she was jail-bait.

Of course, I wanted to have nothing to do with it, so I pulled out my iPod Touch and started playing games in it.This creted its own unique problems.A group of young boys became my orbiters because no one else had an iPod touch.

That wasn't the problem.

These kids were calling me Uncle.

That was the problem,