Friday, April 6, 2007

Men & Women: The Difference!

Men & Women: The Difference!

MAGAZINES:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and shouldn't be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.

CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

JEWELRY:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Ramone.

RESTROOMS:
Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women use restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will never speak a word to each other. Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, 'Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?'

15 comments:

  1. 'Most naked men elicit laughter from women.'

    that is not true!

    because they haven't seen mine.

    mine elict sympathy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. does it hurt here? how about here? and here? ^_^ LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. One thing that I never understood was , how women fall for us men ?
    C'mon i've seen myself in the mirror....ok I've got ok biceps , nice abs , but ...If I were a woman (I've covered this topic) I wouldn't fall for me !

    ReplyDelete
  4. Naah !

    It wouldn't work !

    I don't have the boobies ! (quoting Raknax )

    ReplyDelete
  5. and that, people, is the proof why men are smarter than women.

    Adam: God, wow, that woman you created, she is sooo beautiful.
    God (smiling): So you will fall in love with her.
    Adam: B-but.. God.. why is she so dumb?
    God (still smiling): So she will fall in love with you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now , for the record Ms.J has posted this joke !

    Angry flaming feminists , please take note ! (and spare this poor fella !)

    ReplyDelete
  7. dude read again, it's not female bashing, it's male bashing...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Whatever ! It pokes fun at both men and women and the whole notion of love !
    Hey , God himself is agreeing that he made women dumb !

    Btw , In the animal kingdom , the male is always the more aesthetically pleasing one.
    I mean , who in their right minds would tell you that a pea-hen is more beautiful than a peacock ?(other than the peacock)
    Or for that matter why a stag has beutiful antlers !
    But , beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.
    Maybe aliens who have no preconcieved notion of human beauty might find Men better looking women .(though I feel otherwise !)

    ReplyDelete
  9. homosexual aliens. interesting...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Alien abductees are always talking about anal probes ...one can only wonder what these aliens are repressing.
    Its time for aliens to come out of the closet !

    ReplyDelete