Devdas Syndrome

Devdas Syndrome (Or the kind of man you must avoid)

Always trust in a woman's intuition to know about your intentions.

Ok let's go by that one more time.This time slo-oo-wly.

Always -trust -in a -woman's intuition -to know -about your -intentions.

You are led to believe that a woman's intuition is infallible.It is not.
Problem is we men are so transparent, we might as well not be wearing
any clothes.

But without pandering to women, it is safe to say that they can sniff
out your intentions a good mile away.
Especially when you're out of deodorant.

They might not know that you have already named the kids after your
grandparents or you have planned what college these kids will attend
to, but they know what you are upto.

Intuition is much more primal and non-specific than that.
Intuition is simple.It gives signals- much like a traffic signal.

Red means - call the police and get a restraining order.

Orange means- He are a pesky creep who will ask her out every chance he gets.

Green means -take a shot at it.He's probably a good guy.

But the problem is most men are also colour blind.You have no idea
what aquamarine or rouge or oxblood mean.
Yes, women's intuition signals cover the entire colour palette/Their
intuition is constantly flashing colours that you have no idea
exist.Peach,teal & butterscotch to name a few.
That's what makes the woman's intuition so darn hard to understand.

Most women know that I suffer from the Devdas syndrome.
It is the inability to fall in love with any other woman but the one
that he is already in love with.
It is also known as 'One-itis', where the idea of that 'One' girl is
cemented so hard that all other women become inconsequential.Sure he
may be a success with other women, but that is because he truly
doesn't care about what they think.At the end of the day, all these
successes feel hollow and empty and pale in comparision to what the
'One' could have given him.

Other symptoms of the Devdas syndrome include:An artistic bent in
seeing the world, widespread cynicism,constant bipolar behaviour -
sometimes he is praising his love, raising her to the heavens, and
sometimes condemning her to the deepest hells possible.
Misery is a constant companion.So is anger.

His love may very well destroy his life, but he does not care.After
all, what is life without the 'One' ?

There is a notion of perverted nobility.He truly believes that he must
suffer for his sins.He does not expect salvation.
But he prays for eternal happiness of his 'One'.Even if he's not the
one to give it.

For example...

I loved you even
now I may confess
Some embers of my love their fire retain
But do not let it cause you more distress-
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tongue-tied, yet, I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous the timid know
So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so

-Alexander Pushkin

But it is reading the history of Soren Kierkegaard, 'The father of
Existentialism' that is more enlightening.

Kierkegaard was in love with Regine Olsen (of no relation to the Olsen
twins),a pretty and intelligent girl whom he also admired.He proposed
to her and was accepted. They were soon engaged.But the day after the
engagement was announced, he knew that he had made a dreadful
mistake.He suspected that Regine had accepted him out of pity.Doubts
and anxieties flooded into his mind.He was not husband material.His
habit of deep thought had made him 'lover with a wooden leg'

Kierkegaard panicked ,and soon broke the engagement and returned Regine's ring.

He writes"Forgive a man, who, even if he was able to achieve
something,yet was unable to make a girl happy"

But Regine was reluctant to let him go.

So Søren Kierkegaard set about humiliating her in public in the hope
that she would then break off the relationship.



Regine finally gave him up and eventually became engaged to
his rival, Johan Frederik Schlegel.

Although, Kierkegaard loved her very much, he did it because he
thought it was the best he could do for her.

With that he escaped to Berlin.
He wrote"I journeyed to Berlin.I suffered a
great deal.I was so profoundly shaken that I understood perfectly well
that I could not possibly succeed in taking the comfortable and secure
middle way in which most people pass their lives.
But it was she who made me a poet."

For the rest of his life, Kierkegaard remained a bachelor, forever in
love with Regine, who now had become his fictionalised and
unattainable muse.

Existentialists say that it is our decisions that
define and create individuals,because the person who takes them does
not exist until after he or she has chosen.Thus they are beyond the
rational judgment of others. Søren applied this approach to Regine,
creating what everyone else perceived as an elaborate series of public
humiliations for the young woman, in order to‘provoke’ her into ending
their engagement. But, for Søren, he was creating the next
Kierkegaard. (But at whose cost, might I ask?)

So the whole sorry episode had helped him into becoming one of the
most remarkable writers and philosophers of the 19th century.

The sufferer of 'Devdas syndrome' is almost always helpless to get out
of his predicament.He can never find another love.He can never find
happiness again.He is never strong enough to let her go completely.
Although Kierkegaard physically distanced himself from Regine, his
soul was never free from her.As a consequence both suffered
immeasurably.

But if the luckless lady detects 'Devdas syndrome' in a man, she
should end it completely and permanently for her own good.
There is no point in suffering as Regine did.

But you , as a woman have to be swift and merciless about it.
Men are dense creatures.Subtelity is a lost art to them.

If she must end it, she has to do it brutally and mercilessly.That's
the only language those savages understand.

But if she is like most women, she will be too nice, too kind, too
compassionate.
Most of the time, like Regine, she will be confused at the
actions,constantly hurt and humiliated.

She does not want to break a heart.
But here, the situation is of self preservation.

She should remember that if she does not do anything, he will
definitely destroy her along with himself.

She should take a stand for herself, and do the right thing.

Am I writing about Devdas Syndrome or about myself or about Soren
Kierkegaard? At this point, it's no longer clear.

I guess I'm writing about what I should never become.

What is the cure for Devdas Syndrome?
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind?

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Here's the quickest way to lose a girl.Trust me on this one.
I've tried it.

You tell her that she's too good for you and that you don't deserve
her.She'll actually believe you!
She'll believe you and treat you like a porcupine that has lost a
battle to a skunk.
Ha ha!
Imagine that!A porcupine and a skunk fighting.
Oh boy, that brings back those old memories!(In my last reincarnation
I was a porcupine who lost to a skunk.Later that day, a truck ran over
me making me the worlds first and only stinky porcupine pancake.Yum !)

But let me tell you the surprising thing.
The converse isn't true.
You won't get a girl by telling her that she doesn't deserve you.
She'll find it amusing.
She'll never believe you, and think that you're an asshole and leave you anyway.






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