Hey Betty!

Hey Betty!
You know what...

Ah! Chuck it...

Come to think of it,
you are not really a Betty,
even if you think so.

Betty loved Archie,
obsessed over him...

Where is your Archie?

Can you honestly(to yourself and not anyone else)
name one Archie in your life,
for whom you were Betty?

Don't be petty,
Betty was defined by a longing for Archie,
and in all ways you are defined
by his utter lack.

You are not even the girl next door...
who has her feet planted firmly on the ground
and her heads out of the clouds
The girl next door is easy to be around.

Besides,
its dangerous to identify
with Betty,Veronica,Archie,Jughead

or

Monica,Chandler,Ross or Rachel for that matter.

They are characters whose strengths and weaknessess are penned by a
bunch of writers who are out to milk the maximum emotions out the
audience...They are characters with no real control over their
destiny.

The story of your life is written by you (I hope ).
You have more control over your destiny than comic book and sitcom
characters.(I hope)
You have the power to free yourself from your limitations.(I pray)

You have a choice not to be Betty
(or for that matter,to continue whining that
you are Betty)

You have a choice to be yourself.
Your best self.

(Think About it:Being yourself is neither a Multiple Choice Question
nor is it a true/false question.The only choice you have is to be
yourself,so why not be your best self?)

Add.

In my mind Archie would marry Betty,Reggie would marry
Veronica,have affairs with each others spouses and be miserable the
rest of their lives.Jughead would eventually come out of the
closet-declaring his eternal & undying love for Archie, and later
commit suicide by cruising in the public restroom and being beaten to
death by a homophobic undercover cop.Ethel would become a
supermodel-because now...ugly is the new beautiful,and ethel fits the
bill.Dilton would hatch an ambitious plan to overthrow and end the
global tyranny of Google,only to be hunted and killed by
Gooborg-3000(a Google Cyborg that looks like Pamela Anderson
Lee).Dilton dies with a smile on his face as he is crushed between the
breasts of Gooborg-3000(now available in lavender and fuchsia,and
powered by Android).
Moose gets Midge pregnant on senior prom night and they drop their
college plans to take care of the baby...dashing all hopes of a
bright(?) future.Moose joins a construction company-gets laid of in
the recession and comes home everyday drunk and beats his wife.Midge
contemplates having an affair with Reggie to hurt Moose.
Everyone of the Riverdale High faculty dies a lonely death at their
retirement homes where they lie forgotten by the world.

Yeah...I like to spread the happiness.

If you don't like that one...I have one more...Archie marries
Veronica,who dies following complications of childbirth.The child
grows up to be ten,and then reads old letters written by her mom about
a girl named betty,who once was in love with Archie.The ten year old
then hatches an elaborate and complicated plan to bring back Archie
and Betty, and restore their happiness.
Oh...In between everybody sings and dances a lot,and there will be a
lot of rain and a cute kid that likes to count stars.
Be rest assured,Archie marries Betty,they quickly have kids of their
own and Veronica's daughter is ignored into ignominy and treated badly
by her step mother and step sisters who like to constantly step on her
like she was a foot mat outside a bus station.She waits for a prince
charming to rescue her and dies an old maid.
Moral of the story :Everybody dies eventually.

Oh How I love happy endings!

(Karan Johar and SRK are outside with crowbars and hockey
sticks...apparently they didn't like my version of The Archies)

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