The year 2008-09 has been very bad for the family.
We lost a lot.
I lost my teeth.The car had a major breakdown.Then there was that accident.
Then kappachi died (moti's live-in girlfriend), then Chinni died,Moti died,and yesterday chubby died.
Within the span of a few months all our long time pets died.
They are no more.
Emptiness echoes in the hallways.
The unused bag of cat food mocks at us.
Mom found chubby dead and decomposing in the neighbours backyard.
Just a day ago she was fine,doing what all spoiled house cats do...and now ,in an unmarked grave lies chubby's body.
And she is gone.
We humans have lied to ourselves for too long.
Sanctity of life is bullshit.
Nature,world,life,universe - call it what you may , but it does not give a farting rat's ass about the value of
life - or of all the lives intertwined with that life.
All it cares about is perpetuity...or maybe it is uncaring as it seems.
What? What is the point of investigating how and why a healthy cat was found dead just like that?
All the more grief.
Grief is natural...we grieve for all the future possibilities and the lost potential that the being had,we grieve
because we know we can never recreate the magic that we once took for granted and we grieve for the sudden vacuum
that now exists and has replaced the constant to and fro- flow of love.
Life was never fair,we knew that...but did it have to be so cruel?
I hate to see mom cry...and she broke down even as she tried to convey the news.
Moti died right in front of my eyes...I couldn't believe moti was gone.His body lay there still warm,his fur still
soft,but moti was gone.
I was still stroking his now lifeless body,my fingers running through his thick and soft fur, and I could still
grab his jowls and all the loose folds of his neck.
Moti was gone.
This was the last time I would ever do it- feel his soft body , something I enjoyed doing everyday,something we
all did everyday - he was so soft -it was always a pleasure to feel him,touch him,hold him.
This was the last time I would smell him.
Did he have to die?
Don't be stupid...everybody dies...if you live long enough you'll have the privilege of seeing all your loved ones
die around you.
At some point your conversations will be only about all the dead ones you've surpassed.
"Did you know X...He died last fortnight...and Y, well they say cancer, but I'm not so sure..."
Beware of the long life...
Also I've noticed that cell phones and all these new gadgets have become adult pacifiers...but in a weird way...people go WAAAAH! when their gadgets get taken away from them.
Just like me.
I lost my cell phone today...
What that means is I lost all my contact details...
And I had to make a call tomorrow, which I probably cannot.
WAAAAH!
And thus the losing streak continues.
<
there, there.
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