What's in a Surname?

It is time we posed a few new questions.
So let me do the honours.

What's in a surname?

(Flashback to when the author was in a hostile hostel...)

"What is your name?"

"Vikas"

"Full name?"

"Vikas"

What?

"It is just Vikas "

"You mean your full name is 'Just Vikas' or is it 'Vikas Just'?"

"I mean my name is only vikas...er, what I mean to say is that I have no middle name or surname"

"Is that so?"

"Yes"

"Yes what ?"

"Huh?"

REPEAT AFTER ME, "YES SIR"

"YES SIR!"

                     "Just vikas...you will address your seniors as Sir.You will not speak unless spoken to first.You will not breathe unless permitted.And most of all, you will treat your seniors with utmost respect"

"SIRYESSIR!"

Good Just Vikas...now join the others for your initiation pledge...(Fading into the present...)

What's in a name?What's in a name?What's in a name?What's in a name?What's in a name?

Every Tom-Dick and Hari  (Harry's job was bangalored and outsourced to Hari from Bhatinda)...

                      So every Tom-Dick and Hari has posed this question and had the temerity to answer it as if he were the first person to have a shakespearean epiphany to the age old question posed by the Bard of Avon in the immortal tragi-romance 'Romeo and Juliet'.

  What every Tom-Dick and Hari forgets is that the great Bard has himself answered the question with the inventive sensory use of a thorny flower by evoking its very familiar olfactory properties.

So lets ask new questions.At least I'm qualified to ask such questions.

What's in a Surname?

I once had only a first name.(This was prior circa 2003)

Vikas.

Short and sweet.Five letters,two syllables,two vowels...unfortunately rife with pun,mispronunciation and obscenity.

What's in a surname?

Why do people ask your surname?
People think it is a subtle way of asking your race,religion,caste and creed (and soceital position)

                      You know Shilpa is a Shetty, Sunita is a D'Souza,Kabir is Khan, Karthik is a Gadiyar...but without their surnames, they are just Shilpa,Sunita,Kabir and Karthik, and now you cannot use your vast knowledge of generalisation to guess who likes seafood,who celebrates Good Friday,who fasts on Ramadan or who likes DaliThoi.

But for all you know, Shilpa is a vegan,Sunita & Kabir atheists and karthik a mashed potatoes and peas  kinda guy.You know that there are always exceptions to general perception, but you can safely hedge your bets.

But Caveat Emptor my friends.There are stumbling blocks on the road to Surname.

My liberal parents did not want my surname(and my caste) to be highlighted anywhere.Thus I had only a first name.

                         For some people, their last name is their father's first name.Most of my cousins are named in this manner.It is challenging to make assumptions based solely on two first names coined together.

           Also think of all the hermaphrodite surnames ;Singh & Kumar in particular...These people can be from anywhere ranging from Kashmir to Timbuktu...

           For example,one is pretty sure that Rajbir Singh is a Punjabi, and there is a high probability that he is Sikh, but what about Deepak Singh...you don't know if this Singh is king .For all you know, he is from Bhilai.

What about all the Kumars ? For starters the Prajwal Kumar I know is from Nepal, while Pavan Kumar is from Karnataka.

Couple these hermaphrodite surnames with hermaphrodite first names and witness the confusion and hilarity that ensues.

Kiran Kumar? Mr ya Miss ?  Male ya Female ?

Hey Bhagwaan!

(a more popular example- Drew carey)

As an end note, I'd like to add that I have legally changed my name as of 2003, because of the mighty US of A, who rejected my visa application on the basis of an  incomplete name.

Now Vikas is no longer Just Vikas.

He is (I Am) Vikas Keshava Rao.