A little bit late for New Year Resolutions

I don't believe in new year resolutions.

If you really wanted to change, you wouldn't wait till the end of the year
and then consciously decide to change.



Repeat after me.



'You will change, and your conscious mind won't have anything to do with it.






I know that you have a vast array of resources available to you that your
conscious mind doesn't even suspect.



You have the ability to surprise yourself, each and every one of you.

Amen '





Also, I'm a bit late, now that so many days have gone by, but if I were to
make a New Year Resolution, It would be me asking to learn the art of
forgiveness and the art of forgetfulness.



But since we are playing the game of 'If I were to', I'd like to add a few
more to the list.

If I were to make a New Year Resolution, it would be to:



Get a girlfriend. (It's about time now.I Know, you and I both believe that I
don't deserve one.but hey, can't I even get half a girlfriend? Hmm.now I
wonder which supermarket has girlfriends in it. Which aisle? What section? I
hope they have something in my size.small or medium.something nice.something
that's right for all occasions and not too expensive)



Learn another Musical instrument, Hmm...I've always wanted to learn the
Piano or the Mouth Organ, whichever my (non-existent) Girl Friend likes. How
about a digiridoo? How about getting thrown out of the house?



Do something really disgusting and totally love it.watch a Hillary Duff
movie...or Sex & the City or both in one sitting (find out your threshold
limit)





Stop wearing Tight Jeans. Being able to wear them is not why you should be
wearing them. Tight jeans are cooking your family jewels.



Stop wearing tight T-shirts.your nipples are poking out plus your bitch tits
are drooping. and it ain't pretty.



Moisturize.



Eat more: Just because you don't like the food is no reason for skipping
dinner and going hungry.



Exercise less: You don't want to end up like a muscular jock. Huge muscles
are ugly.



Wear Bling-Bling. Invest in Gold Teeth Caps.



Let somebody love you.



Repeat after me.



'You will change, and your conscious mind won't have anything to do with it.






I know that you have a vast array of resources available to you that your
conscious mind doesn't even suspect.



You have the ability to surprise yourself, each and every one of you.

Amen '



Never underestimate the usefulness of just saying that to yourself or
others.



If you really congruently act as if you have the resources and are going to
change, you begin to induce impetus in the unconscious.



In other words, 'Just Pretend'


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