Thatch, and Haircock, Enemy of the Hair and all other badly punned Will
Smith movies and sitcoms.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Hair lost out to 'In pursuit of Hirsuteness' by a hair's
breadth!
Sorry, No more Hairy jokes...I mean Bad jokes...
In pursuit of hirsuteness...is nothing new.
If you've watched the Russell Peters sketch, you'll know that we Indians are
hairy.
Scary Hairy!
Hairy Scary!
Even wimmen...if they get lazy.
I even had to post a 'how to ' video for underarm hair removal for a
clueless gal with an inclination towards sleeveless tops once.
I'm also the guy who asks you things that no one else thought about...
A friend told me I ask the most outrageous questions...they are, and they
come right out of the blue!``
But what I asked her was pretty tame.
I asked,' Why Don't You like me?' when it was really the opposite.
I mean she's the girl who broke up with her BF after meeting me!
Not conceding so easily to my question, she said that my basic line of
questioning was wrong, and that I had to ask her a slightly different
question...Hey! I know that...But really, can I ask her the opposite without
sounding like I am fishing desperately for compliments?
As I said, I ask weird questions...and once for fun, I asked a bunch of
girls about their opinion of chest hair in general...
The smart girls never give you the truth...their answers are veiled in
political correctness...they hem and haw...backtracks and change sides...
"Chest Hair? It all depends on the guy...whether he can carry it nicely or
not"...
"Chest Hair? Sometimes it looks good, sometimes bad" and other ambivalent
politically correct answers.
But really, c'mon, I mean, I'm the guy who can put Austin Powers to shame
with my man thatch...
Groovy Baby....
I put the 'rrr' in the hairrry baby...
Oh Behave!
It's actually the stupid girls, the bimbos and the socially inept girls that
give you the true answers...
"EWW!"
"Yuck!"
And other one word answers that pretty much sum it all up!
Here I do a small test...I tell them that I have wall to wall shag carpeting
on my chest that is softer than cashmere and angora.
Indifferent girls stick to their original answers.
"EWW!"
"Yuck!"
And sometimes 'STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK"
Other Girls suddenly backtrack...they hem and haw...they suddenly become
politically correct!
"Chest Hair? It all depends on the guy...whether he can carry it nicely or
not"
"Chest Hair? Sometimes it looks good, sometimes bad"
And other ambivalent bullshit answers.
But so far, only one girl has asked me if she could touch it...
I said, "Quid Pro Quo, Clarice, Quid Pro Quo"
Hirsuteness is a sign of intelligence, according to some research by some
Prof.Aikarudy...I've put that somewhere in my posts before to validate my
inflated ego.
It seems that scientists and doctors are much more hairy when compared to
manual laborers and other blue collar workers.
It was found that Mensa members are the hairiest of the lot!
It's always confusing in far east, where both men and women are relatively
hairless...I mean , I've stared at shapely smooth slick legs, only to
realize a bit too late that they belonged to a man...but have you noticed?
Most of the Far East population has no problems with baldness, whereas I've
always had a high forehead (like my dad), which is susceptible to premature
balding. (Not to worry my friend, stem cells will make baldness obsolete! If
not buy a rug)
I've never tried to shave my man thatch...too much work...can you imagine,
it takes ten minutes to drag a very sharp blade across my face, or as you
call it, for shaving , but my torso is at least 5 times larger in terms of
surface area, so shaving it might take a very long time!
Also I don't like the shaving blade going anywhere near my nipples...it
scares me (What??? They are sensitive)
The research also reveals that men with hairy backs (sexy backs?) are far
more intelligent...top surgeons and chess champions have always had hairy
chests and hairy backs. (Surprisingly not Einstein)
Recently on one of my narcissistic binges, I noticed that I had begun
sprouting back hair...right below the collar.
As these back hairs grow, I can feel additional neurons and axons and
dendrites connecting together in my brain and my brain getting denser in
grey matter...
Hey Stephen Hawking...you better watch out now.
There's a new kid in town and he's gonna blow your Grand Unified Theory out
of the solar system!
(Not my photo...just some hairy dude!)
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