Acne Away !

Oh my God ! You've got acne ! she says.

I've not only got acne, it makes me look so ugly that right now I'd rather
be the inbred love child of frankenstein and a sasquatch, I say.

A standard garden variety comeback.

Nothing fancy.

Why don't you do something about it ? she asks.

I know where this is going and don't like it one bit, but I'm not exempt
from following social convention...so I ask.

Like what?

More water , one suggests. At least two litres a day.

Lady , I once got the units wrong to this particular piece of
advice, and was drinking two gallons a day. It didn't do one bit good. But
my days were endlessly fascinating as a result. I'd never know when my
bladder would burst and whether I could reach the restroom in time or not.

How about roughage ? Are you getting enough ? another chimes in.

Roughage madam? I practically live on recycled cardboard and
linen. The fibres from my excrement are harvested to make fake currency
that fund a third world country dictator.

Finally the most authoritative figure gives her view.

It's body heat, she says gravely.

The movie ? I ask puzzled.


No , too much of it.


Yes, I particularly enjoyed Kathleen Turner's portrayal of...


She cuts me off with a dismissive wave...She has something more important to
say.


You've got what they call in ayurveda as ushna. All you need is to lower
your body heat...


All you need is an enema, she says as she goes for her enema kit.


I immediately go into 'fight or flight ' mode...


The lady is brandishing an enema kit at my face while asking me
if I'd like a saltwater enema or a soapwater one.

Er, I prefer soap. Its cleaner, and smells nice too...hey , I'm just kidding!


She's not. She goes for the soap solution...Would you like lavender or
chamomile ?

Yikes ! I prepare to scream like a girl and run for my life.


But madam, I'm a homeotherm...I like my body heat.

Ah ,So you know what it feels like to get an enema don't you ? she says
winking at me...

No madam, You're mistaken...ho-meooo-ther-rrm not a homo...

Let me explain...I'm a homeotherm madam, like the
rest of the mammals. Unlike some reptile that has crawled out of a burrow, I
can independently regulate my body temperature. That's what homeotherms do.


And No madam, I do not want anything forced inside my rectum.
Its a one way route. Things go out , not in. That's how things will stay as
far as I'm concerned, I say hotly.

(I still remember my doctor ramming in a rectal thermometer in my tushy when
I was little. It was very traumatic.)

And madam, acne is a sign of extreme masculinity. Let me
explain. You see, with higher levels of testosterone production, one's sebum
production goes haywire. It is the increased sebum that causes acne. So I
carry my acne proudly , for it declares the elevated levels of testosterone,
ergo extreme masculinity.What you see in front of you , madam, is someone
who is more than a man !

Excuse me but have you tried medicated soaps ?...


ARRGGHHHH !


In the end ,after much heated debate and argument, we decide to call it the
quits.


I buy an expensive miracle cream from her to remove acne, and
she agrees not to threaten me anymore with enemas. And though we both are at
odds, we both decide to call it even.

Optimistic Liver(Art of incomplete writing)

Unbelongingness plagues me out at sea as well as ashore.

The master told me I do not belong to this generation of kids for someone
who is so deep into philosophy.

He called me a kid !

I quickly reminded him that I'd be twenty four soon .

To that he retorted I was still a fucking kid , and that was that .

I agreed .That was that.



I'm a loner and I'm running away(don't know from what).

Here, on long lonely nights, under the starry skies, with galaxies,
constellations and minotaurs and other mythical beasts as my witness, under
the tutelage of an endlessly uncompromising sea ,I think... I create
syllabic symphonies and construct lofty wordcastles and toil as a wordsmith
who forges new thought instruments. At least I'd like to think so.



"He had a pessimistic heart combined with an optimistic liver"



I didn't get it. The line simply popped up from nowhere.



And at first I ignored it , like I do most of the times. But the line kept
popping up every now and then, increasingly agitating me.



There was a second line buried deep within the mind, and was waiting to
germinate.



So I rolled around the first sentence and tasted it like a kid would taste a
jaw breaker. No Luck !

It would take me two more days of chewing on the sentence to finally get the
second line.



"His heart wanted to drown itself in the lows of alcohol and the optimism
laden liver happily agreed to break down alcohol into simple sugars no
matter what quantity was imbibed"



Now this was exciting. We were finally going somewhere.



Soon came the next bunch of lines "He had seen death .Death was simply refusing
to entertain him. Death had its own problems. Death was too busy facing
itself ~ Death"



I have a morbid obsession of death. No, I'm not suicidal...I'm not emo ,
nor goth , no vampire fetish either. If you met me, you'd say that I'm a
very happy person. And funny.



Which is true.



Which is why I cannot understand my obsession with death. In most of my
unpublished stories , I plan to kill the protagonist in the end of the
story. In a way its the only true way a story can end. In a way I'm solving
my most feared problem of getting the right ending for a story.

There can be no story once there is no protagonist, isn't it ?(Please say yes)



So this story would end in death too. A man would conquer death by embracing
it.(Is there any other way ?)And perhaps Death would also conquer
death.(whichever way you looked at it)


Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Sat, 27 Sep 2008 03:16 UTC
Message-id: 388086968S173

Get the world Infected !

Smiling is infectious; you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin
And when he smiled I realized I’d passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile and then I realized its worth,
A single smile, one just like mine, could travel round the earth.
So if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected:
Let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!

Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:26 UTC
Message-id: 387775920S172

You are never ready

You'll never know how much you'll miss someone until you
actually miss them. No matter how much you anticipate and mentally prepare,
their absence proves too much sometimes.



Dressed in the garb of experience, life teaches you many
things.But life's lessons are not easily understood.Our human tragedy is
that we are unable to comprehend our experience as it slips through our
fingers, we can't hold on to it,and the more time passes,the harder it gets.



I feel guilty to admit that I once owned a pair of parrots as
pets.They were white beaked parrots bought at a fair for a mere 600
rupees.Can we ever buy or own lives ?Is life so cheap that it can be bought
in a market ?Apparently yes.



But I was just a kid.



They were the happiest days of my
life...I would spend long a long and lazy summer with my new caged
companions. I would fuss over them, and try to keep them entertained by
taking the cage out into the garden , or feeding them with their favorite
snacks. I was overjoyed as spent my time with my new found friends.



But my happiness did not last long.

The male parrot fell seriously ill. We
rushed him to the vet , who after one wary glance pronounced that the parrot
would not live to see the end of the week. The parrot had stopped eating and
drinking completely as if he had accepted his fate and his inevitability.



I was devastated.



A few days later I heard the female parrot screeching frantically and as I
ran towards the cage I saw what I had feared the most.

The male parrot was lying dead and cold on the floor of the
cage.



Death is a difficult concept for a ten year old to understand but we all
seem to understand it's implications.



I too had realized somewhere in my ten year old mind that I would never
see my dear friend again.



I felt this heavy sadness weighing me down and unknown to me tears ran down
my eyes as I ran to tell my mother .I was so embarrassed that I was crying
that I tried to present a brave dry face when giving mom the bad news ,but
then helplessly burst into sobbing fits of tears.





What was more painful was the plight of the surviving parrot. Day in and day
out, she would screech and scream and scurry about the cage mindlessly,
overcome and overwhelmed by grief. She was inconsolable. Her grief and
anguish were unbearable.



We had to take a hard decision.



Now correct me if I'm wrong but .

It is said that if you love someone, then you must set them free.

If they come back, it is because they love you.

If they don't , then it is because their love was never yours to begin with.



So we opened the cage and set her free.

She stepped out tentatively, and cautiously tasted her new found freedom.

Though she found her freedom frightening and exhilarating at the same time
she stepped out bravely and never looked back.



She flew away and never came back.



I never found out what happened to her.



But from that moment on , I promised myself that I'd never imprison anyone
with my expectations.

After all, if you love someone, won't you set them free ?

(And If you love me , won't you let me go ?)


Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:59 UTC
Message-id: 387758287S173

Hang in There

(Posted without Mr.Teh's permission , and with a thousand apologies )

Subject: Hang on there, third officer Vikas





Yo,



Blogging by email isn't bad...at least you still get to shoot. Are there

more? We see only one other blog about you being colored.

Being 'semi-retired', I get plenty of time to write. Only our

half-hanging political situation creates so much tension that I find it

hard to write.



Hang on in there, mate. I don't know what it's like out there bobbing

around in the ocean, but I can imagine.

I only know my one week without internet connection was horrifying enough

for me. I only got it back 2 days ago.



Suggested solutions for your stopover in desert lands: Go for dates (haha

the food type lah, not females)



Oh, another milk joke: next time in China, drink only milk from the

natural sources. (Look for buxom ones for greater supply) hahaha.



cheers,

LC



Hey guys !

This is Vikas from Clipper Sun, currently anchored off Assaluyeh (Iran).

Thanks to Mr.Teh's emails I'm fully cheered up !(Thank You )

As usual , I have plenty to say, but I will not post something that is not
yet polished.

Some of them will be oneliners, some cryptic, some that you won't get.

Business as usual , right ?



Sometimes I feel that having no internet is good.Having no TV is good.Having
no cable is good.



I once asked my second mate why we are paid such good wages.

Only recently married, he said that the only reason we were paid such good
wages was because of our willingness to be alone, away from our loved ones.



For me , I think its like detox.

Routinely cutting off from the rest of the world and going into an exile is
therapeutical.Its like going to a retreat.

It is like detox.

Detox for too much internet, detox for too much TV, detox for too much
dependency and too much attachment .

I think of it as a detox from the rest of the world.



Here onboard , we have 21 crew members.We are all that we have.We make do
with it.The rest of the world is cut off.Only in ports , we get to see other
people.We are still going on in a very sane and efficient way .

So , in reply Mr.Teh , I'm hanging in here pretty good.

Of course, I'll be searching for dates in the desert...ones that don't wear
a burqa though, and ones that grow on trees !(for they are cheap here)



Got Milk ? Well, I'm not into milk fetish so I'll give buxom lactating
ladies a pass !



Cheers !

Will be writing more soon,

Vikas


Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:59 UTC
Message-id: 387758271S173

The Trouble with Shooting in the Dark...

Beggars can't be choosers.
Right now , apart from e-mailing my stuff, I don't have any other option left.

This ship touches a port once in every 30 days and stays in that port for roughly 15-20 hours.Out of those ports , more than half of them have threatening names like Bandar Imam Khomeni or Khawr Fakkan where if you go out, all you
get to see is sand for thousands of miles.

So I don't go out much.

And...And , posting via email is very unsatisfying.There are size restrictions .For example , globeemail allows me to send only upto 40 kb of text files , and no attachments are allowed, so all my excessive verbosity has to be cut down and all the
matter condensed to 40 kb !I cannot post pics with my blog or post music or pretty much anything else apart from text.

Whaaaaaaat ! No WAY !

Sounds like a challenge doesn't it ?


But that's not the worst part.
The worst part is not getting to know what you guys thought of my latest piece of art (or crap,as I swing both ways).I miss the feedback.
Its like shooting in the dark in a shooting range and then not getting to know your score.
It's frustrating.
And you guys...Bah ! I still cannot coax you to write to me.Only Mr.Teh writes every time(thank you !).All others maintain strict radio silence.I know ...I know...you have your reasons...but still...no feedback is scary .Without feedback , it feels
like my work might as well not exist at all.

So I'm trying something different today...it is called reverse psychology...So Listen to me carefully ...

I Don't Want You Guys To Write To Me About Anything...Ok ?

Did it work ?

Let me know :)
Bye
Vikas

Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:58 UTC
Message-id: 387491595S89

Call me colored

Written by an...?

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me colored?

Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Wed, 24 Sep 2008 07:52 UTC
Message-id: 387366555S351

Vikas from Clipper Sun

Hi guys !
This is Vikas writing from 'Clipper Sun' .
This is a brand new liquefied gas carrier, which was commissioned this may .
Right now we are going towards Iran , where we will be loading propane and butane from assayeuleh and bandar imam khomiemi .
We will unload the cargo in japan and china.Hopefully we'll get to out in china and experience the aftermath of the olympics !
That's all for now
Bye
Vikas

p.s. my email id is

shipoff.c6xb2@globeemail.com

Received: from C6XB2 at Globe Wireless; Mon, 22 Sep 2008 06:41 UTC
Message-id: 386814544S310

Onward Ho Sailor ! (Woes,Worries and a Vada Pav)

This is yet another "I'm-so-bored-I-don't-know-what-to-do-post".

                          Our flight to singapore was delayed by 5 hours.We cursed everyone and everything seemingly responsible under the stars.Because otherwise we would have reached singapore by 1945 on 13th and had plenty of time to rest and have some fun on the side too.

    Instead , we reached singapore at 0030 on 14th and were put in Furuma Riverfront and asked to be ready by 1000 the same day.Sure ,Sure... We are the 'Can Do' guys.

                       The journey so far has been nothing but draining.Mangalore to Mumbai on 12th...and then Mumbai to Singapore on 13th...And now we'll shortly be joining the vessel in singapore, which is one of the busiest ports in the world...The rest of the crew thinks that we have rested enough.So they'll want us to work our asses off.They don't really know that we've had less than 5 hours of sleep and 25 hours of travelling.

                                                                                       I seem to be making friends at the unlikeliest of the places.In mumbai, a taxi driver shared his woes and worries and a vada pav with me.I thought of all the robbery victims who were drugged and robbed in the same fashion .But He offered me the whole vada pav and then I tore half of it and gave it to him , which he happily ate , dispelling my fear .We also shared a mangola...and he helped me with the luggage for no extra cost ! All this for a sympathetic ear !

     Mumbai , it seems is no more fun to live.It's too crowded, too dirty, too stressful, too polluted...but he too tries his hand at Romancing Mumbai , just like most of us forced to be there.Given a choice , he too would like to return to his native village (Incidentally 10 km away from Amitabh Bacchan's ancestral village)He too finds the recent trend of victimisation of Non-Marathi Manoos by local political parties very alarming and distressing.

That got me thinking.Should I ever return to mumbai ?

But right now that's not even remotely important.There's a guy waiting on 'Clipper Sun ' , a brand new LPG carrier (yard delivery :Jan 2008) who wants to go home badly because he hasn't seen them for nearly six months and misses them badly.

I miss my friends and family already.This is the curse that comes along with being a sailor.Mama told me not to get too attached to anything ashore.Its hard though.

But this is what pioneers shouted out in the face of adversity ...

Onward Ho Sailor !

That's just what I'm going to do.

 

The Best Romances.

 "The best romances are the ones you never had"

I'm not your personal trainer !

I'm sick of all you bozos coming up to me for weight loss advice.
Weight loss isn't initiated simply by a flick of a switch, if that's what you've come to expect.
All you dieters deserve your yo-yoing weights.Studies have confirmed what I've been saying all my life , that dieting for the sake of weight loss is the worst method for weight loss.Eating well should be incorporated in your lifestyle, and not so that you can drop 20 lbs for your favourite cousin's  wedding next month.

                          All you pill poppers, know this:your kidneys are going to hell ! and so is your gastrointestinal system, and they are going to drag you with them.Remember ; this is still not the age of magic pills and miracle cures.The last disease to be eradicated was small pox, not obesity.(and small pox made a comeback recently !)

And to all you people who want to staple your guts:
WHY?

WHY?

WHY would you want to staple your innards?

Bariatric surgery reduces absorption of vital nutrients in the long run.
Eat all you want.
You are still going to die malnourished .(albeit thin)

And lastly , don't come to me asking for exercise tips and expect them to work overnight.You don't like to sweat?Fine !

Don't ask me about Pilate's.It's the gayest exercise I've ever come across.

In fact , I've stopped giving out exercise advice completely.You'll have to pay me for it, because free advice is usually ignored.
The last time someone listened to my advice, she was totally transformed.She lost so much weight  that people failed to recognize her.

Oh yeah, I'm not your agony aunt either.Its bad enough that you come to me for dieting and exercise tips that you wont and don't follow , but you expect me to be your friend, philosopher guide and counselor too !(I can be your friend, if you stop being so clingy)

NO ! I don't care that your loans are killing you.
NO ! I don't care the magic has gone out your marriage.
NO ! I don't care that your son is a bad seed.
NO ! I don't care that you have an overbearing father figure.
I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
I'm not old enough to counsel you,not wise enough, not experienced enough.I'm not even a good listener.I just fake it.

Realize this:I'm not your personal sounding board nor am I your personal Oracle.

One more thing.

I Don't Care.

BTW, this is my current exercise regime:

Warm up :Brisk walking on treadmill (@ 7 km/hr) for half a kilometer.

Cardio:Continue walking, increase speed to 12 km/hr and jog for two kilometers.
         :Kickboxing for 15 min.(I use a punching bag)

Strength training

                 :Wide Grip Chin ups (5 sets of 5 reps each for 5 days in a week ...i.e 5 x 5x 5)
                 :Single leg squats  (5 x 5 x 5)
                 :Dead lifts @ 40 kg   (5 x 5 x 5)
                 :Calf Raises (20 reps x 2 sets)
                 :Elevated push ups(10 reps x 3 sets)

The entire routine takes about 45 mins.
Enjoy the pain ! 

My Diet :

A lacto-vegetarian who loves eating plenty of fruits and raw vegetables.I usually shun away from fried food,sweets (except chocolates),processed food.

I eat a lot.People who see me eat are always astounded.But I eat throughout the day in small portions.I do use a protein supplement when exercising.It is white oats mixed with flax seed and a local protein shake.That's it.Its so simple.

Well I hope you can get the muscles you've always wanted .

The Obligatory Goodbye Post

Hi guys

This is the obligatory Goodbye post.

I'll be joining tomorrow in singapore.

This time , I'm sure I'll not be able to post or read your stuff or generally interact with you for almost six month.(I can see a few of you are letting go a sigh of relief )

You know what my biggest fear is ?

It's that I'll be forgotten when I come back.

It happens.I'm guilty of forgetting too.But I don't want to be forgotten.

So do keep in touch...

I'll ask KCG to post my ship's email Id...

I'd be happy to read your stuff on board too.

Goodbye.

Vikas

Waiting

                       (NOT !)

Its been a running gag for almost a month now...I've told all my friends that I'll be leaving soon... sailing soon.
We've exchanged goodbyes and forget-me-nots and we-will-meets-agains and so on and so forth...

But I'm still here.

Waiting...waiting to be called.

My documents are with my office.I'm half packed and mentally fully prepared.

I'm waiting.

They have changed three ships so far...Lavender Passage, Oriental Queen, and now I'm supposed to go to Mill Reef.Formalities and paper work will take a few hours.Mandatory medical testing will take half a day.

But I'm still waiting.

I feel the same as I felt the first two weeks after signing off and coming ashore.

Un moored.

Afloat without direction and purpose.

An idle mind is the devil's workshop , they say. (Don't ask me who!)

I feel the same...I shy away from human contact, don't make calls, don't interact

too much with people...It's begun again...

I want to go .I hate living in uncertainty .I hate living in a suitcase.
What I hate the most is the waiting.

I'm not able to make any long term plans.I don't know when I'm leaving.

I'm sorry I couldn't , but I wanted to spend some more time with you.

You are a very interesting person.

Yes, this is how I communicate...

I don't know if this a goodbye now or another extension of the current running gag.

Goodbye !

Women go for better looking men !

Times have changed !

              A gradual role reversal is happening.Women are now choosing mates more based on their looks than intelligence and men prioritize intelligence in the women that they want.(Well, at least men like Me !)

                   This was proven in a BBC TV programme called Tomorrow's World, where in an experiment devised by noted British psychiatrist Dr.Raj Persaud, the viewing public was presented with two pictures of members of the opposite sex who definitely varied in terms of physical attractiveness- one was obviously prettier or more handsome than the other.Beneath each picture was a kind of lonely hearts column Dr.Raj Persaud had composed in which the person in the photograph was inviting the viewer of the programme to accompany them on a romantic weekend in the Caribbean.The wording was more or less the same, but there were subtle differences which should have been so minor as to operate below conscious awareness.

                     In one script , for instance , the person invited you to swim in the shimmering blue sea;in the other you were invited to swim in the shimmering azure sea.The viewers were then asked to choose the person they would prefer to go away with.Complex vocabulary was used as a proxy for education or intelligence.

              The surprising finding was that women went more for looks in their choice of men, while the men prioritzed intelligence in their choice of women.Just the use of words like 'azure' significantly swung the audience towards the lesser physically attractive person, indicating that the public generally were voting for intelligence over looks, yet amazingly this was more marked in the voting of men.

           This would be good news to all women who think they are not pretty enough and really bad news to all men who think they are not !

Jon Stewart is my hero !

Rock On

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Drama

Rock On is a mature movie with dollops of bollywood magic in it.We Indians need Bollywood magic in all our movies.The masses cannot digest a movie with no movie magic.So , in the end infusing a bit of bollywood magic makes good business sense.

Moving on with the review...(we'll come back to the bollywood magic later)

Let me digress a bit.What can I do .It's a force of habit...Being forced to watch a scene where Farhan Akthar is in the shower , or the cameraman's close up of Purab Kohli's buttocks in the scene where he sings 'I will survive' and by watching Ranbir Kapoor in his shorts and Six pack Sharuk and all other bollywood leading men with chiseled bodies ,

I realised something ...

Times have changed !

A gradual role reversal is happening.Women are now choosing mates more based on their looks than intelligence and men prioritize intelligence in the women that they want.(Well, at least men like Me !)

This was proven in a BBC TV programme called Tomorrow's World, where in an experiment devised by noted British psychiatrist Dr.Raj Persaud, the viewing public was presented with two pictures of members of the opposite sex who definitely varied in terms of physical attractiveness- one was obviously prettier or more handsome than the other.Beneath each picture was a kind of lonely hearts column Dr.Raj Persaud had composed in which the person in the photograph was inviting the viewer of the programme to accompany them on a romantic weekend in the Caribbean.The wording was more or less the same, but there were subtle differences which should have been so minor as to operate
below conscious awareness.

In one script , for instance , the person invited you to swim in the shimmering blue sea;in the other you were invited to swim in the shimmering azure sea.The viewers were then asked to choose the person they would prefer to go away with.Complex vocabulary was used as a proxy for education or intelligence.(I agree)

The surprising finding was that women went more for looks in their choice of men, while the men prioritzed intelligence in their choice of women.Just the use of words like 'azure' significantly swung the audience towards the lesser physically attractive person, indicating that the public generally were voting for intelligence over looks, yet amazingly this was more marked in the voting of men.

This would be good news to all women who think they are not pretty enough and really bad news to all men who think they are not !

Now back to the review that we had originally intended to write...

Rock On is a movie about rock.No , not the one that you threw at that dog that chased you.Its about Rock...Its about distortion effects,electric guitars,huge amplifiers that would scare the bejeesus out of your deaf granny, the drums,the chord progressions,the electrifying solos and riffs, the mangled vocals...its about the fame, the fortune,sex booze and drugs and loving adoration of millions of fans...its about the whole Rock lifestyle itself.


In the story the past and the present are interlaced together, with Sakshi the lonely wife of Adithya is trying to get closer to her husband by trying to reunite the band members of her husband's past.


'Live your Dream , says the tag line.Flashback reveals that the foursome...Adithya,Joe,KD,Rob just do that when their band,'Magik' wins a talent hunt and lands a contract for an album and music video.

They seemingly have everything now...rock music, each other,drugs,girls and then fame and fortune soon enough.But trouble arises between band members, and a once powerful friendship breaks apart and ends up disbanding Magik.

Questions posed to the viewers are ...

1)Will the band members of Magik come back together resolving their past differences ?
2)Will Magik prove to be magical enough to solve all their problems?
3)Will Rob Nancy die right after the Grand Finale ?

Let me spoil your fun ...

1) Yes.After initial reluctance from Adithya and Joe,the band members reunite and make magik together.(Pun intended !)
2) Yes.Magik brings Adi and his wife closer.KD gets a new girlfriend ! Rob Nancy fulfills his dying wish, and hopefully Joe will benefit from all the publicity the band got, although one never finds out.
3) I would have really hated the movie if they killed Rob Nancy right after the Grand Finale.But they don't ! C'mon , if they killed him right there, it would be very filmy and melodramatic.(something I'm very familiar with !).Instead the story writers decided to kill Rob Nancy two months later.

Let me just add...India is not ready for pure Rock.At least not the masses.We still miss the tablas and dholaks and sitars and guitars mixing together and making beautiful music together which is truly unique in all respects and truly Indian in flavour.So ,in the beginning I did not like the soundtrack of the movie very much.But the songs fit seamlessly in the movie and grow on you...it simply takes time.I still don't like Zahreeley (Too noisy !), but Tum Ho Toh and Sindbad the sailor are my favourite.(hmm...I wonder why ?)


In the acting department we found that Farhan can act , but should refrain from singing in the future ! Let it be done by professionals (Himesh should also be banned from singing and also from making movies),Arjun rampal is perfect as the ageing rocker (hats off to the director for not focusing on arjun rampal's fingers during his solos and hats off to arjun for at least learning basic and barre chord shapes), Purab Kohli and Luke Kenny are equally good.Prachi looks cute throughout , Shahana Goswami is great , and I find her sexy as hell ! (go figure!), and koel purie's role is miniscule and forgettable.

Now for the Bollywood magic I promised you...
1)It happens only in bollywood.The crowd goes wild and ecstatic to an unknown song played by an unknown band.Hey , the crowd even sings along although it has never heard the lyrics before !

2)It happens only in bollywood.You can buy top class equipment (including a wireless amp transmitter) after one gig at a dandiya !

3)It happens only in bollywood.There's a huge traffic jam, and Joe walks out of his stranded taxi and onto the stage within the brief time frame of a single song and a short drum solo ! Did he get Scotty to beam him up onto the stage ?

All in all, Rock On a good movie with good performances.A courageous attempt at introducing Rock to Indian masses, which by initial reports are proving successful.

Guess What ! This is a complete waste of time !

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

4- the Individualist

you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR (aka "The Romantic")

"I am unique"

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a FOUR

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
• my ability to establish warm connections with people
• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
• being unique and being seen as unique by others
• having aesthetic sensibilities
• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a FOUR

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
• feeling guilty when I disappoint people
• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
• expecting too much from myself and life
• fearing being abandoned
• obsessing over resentments
• longing for what I don't have

FOURs as Children Often

• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
• are very sensitive
• feel that they don't fit in
• believe they are missing something that other people have
• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
• become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

FOURs as Parents

• help their children become who they really are
• support their children's creativity and originality
• are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
• are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
• are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?
so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!! (use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...

...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

---

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose BY

Would you rather have chosen:

AY (EIGHT)

CY (SIX)

BX (NINE)

BZ (FIVE)

Take The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test at HelloQuizzy

Lets just be friends !

Unbelongingness

                               "I belong to you " is the biggest lie I've ever told...I belong to everyone and no one.

                Unbelongingness has long plagued me,and often I have  ended up questioning my purpose and existence , with no satisfactory answers forthcoming.

              I'd walk with my people if I could find them.There have been so many false starts, so many crushed expectations, so many false hopes that I'm discouraged to find them anymore.

 

                 If you don't belong anywhere...my friend...then we belong to each other because we share that common thread of unbelongingness.

I understand.

(Artwork by by Franco Paisio)

Don't Look at The Moon Tonight !

              Legend has it that on this day , Ganesha , the hindu god with the elephant head and an obese human body and one extra set of hands was returning home after a grand feast on his behalf.
            Ganesha , our mythological gourmand and our favourite Deity, the destroyer of all obstacles had had more than his fill and his belly was bursting from its seams (though literally impossible)

 As Ganesha was walking back home late at night , he tripped and fell down and his belly which  was impossibly full and nearly bursting , burst open !  Embarrassed  , Ganesha hastily tied his stomach with a snake and resumed on his way.The sight of ganesha falling down and then using a snake as his belt was so comical that Chandra , the moon  burst out laughing !

            Laughter , they say ,when it comes and plops down and sits on your favourite  chair, you are at its mercy until it decides to go by itself.

       Chandra, the moon too was held captive by laughter and Chandra had fits of laughter that later degenerated into sobbing giggles that hurt his tummy.

          Infuriated by the lack of tact on the part of Chandra , the moon, and feeling very insulted and humiliated , Ganesha twisted and broke a part of his tusk and flung it towards the celestial Chandra, the moon forever scarring him.To add insult to injury , Ganesha cursed the scarred Chandra that whoever looked at Chandra on that particular day henceforth would be cursed with being falsely accused of something.

                    Of course, Hindu Gods always gave loopholes on the curses they inflicted.If you happened to watch Chandra on that particular day and did not want to be falsely blamed or accused of something , then you would have to pray to Ganesha and look at Ganesha's reflection in a plate filled with vermilion and water.       Voila ! No more curse !
 
Today was that day.

The day of Ganesh Chaturthi.

I saw the moon tonight.Click here for more.

But I'm not afraid.

Because I saw things that made me sad,angry and mad.

              I saw kids tormenting a tired and weary bitch with her newborn litter of puppies.It confirmed my belief that Humans are the worst kind of animals that God has created (if there is a god ).

            It made me mad that a gang of eight year old hoodlums could inflict such pain and suffering to a helpless creature and its defenseless children.The bitch chased the kids in a desperate attempt to save its litter....The kids were armed with bricks, stones and sticks and were expecting the bitch to retaliate.

            But they did not expect me.

           I chased the kids to protect the mother of the blameless litter of puppies which had barely opened their eyes.

           A bunch of eight year old kids can take on a single emaciated and weakened bitch, but they sure couldn't take on a 23 year old male determined to fight for what he thought was right.

So they ran.

The bitch barked at me once the kids were gone...just as a precaution.After all I was human too.

               I saw the futility in my act .These kids would be back soon.They were poor.They did not even go to school.They had neglecting parents.The kids would be back.And sadly it was not entirely their fault.  I hoped that the bitch saw the futility of its actions too and that it would move away to a more suitable place.

As I left , I prayed for the safety of its family.

         Unbelongingness has long plagued me,and often I have  ended up questioning my purpose and existence , with no satisfactory answers forthcoming.

              I'd walk with my people if I could find them.There were so many false starts, so many crushed expectations, so many false hopes that I'm discouraged to find them anymore.

            "I belong to you " is the biggest lie I've ever told.(Apart from the size of my penis - yes its actually 2 inches longer than what I've told you )
I belong to everyone and no one.

I later went to an old age home and orphanage.It confirmed my belief about humans once again.The old age home was filled with old and the dying and the abandoned and the neglected and the abused and the forgotten and the uncared for.The orphanage was filled with the same...unwanted girls, kids born out of wedlock, abandoned due to poverty and discarded due to mental instability .

It was not their fault.They simply did not belong anymore.

But here they seemed occupied. They seemed happy .Here they belonged somewhere.

      If you don't belong anywhere...my friend...then we belong to each other because we share that common thread of unbelongingness.

I understand.

                   I felt really small when I wrote that cheque to the caretaker.She assured me that she would send me the tax exemption forms along with the receipt for my donation.

Was this all I could do ?  Just give them money ?  Was there anything more?

They assured me that my donation would help educate a girl child for a year.
I felt ashamed because I could afford to give more but did not. But I noticed that all the people at that place who formerly did not belong were happy.It was a festive occasion.It was Ganesh Chaturthi ,the birthday of Lord Ganesha , India's most popular God , who on his birthday had overeaten and fallen down and cursed Chandra the moon.

Seeing their happiness, I was happy to find one instance that humans were not the worst of Gods creations.

Back at home, I remembered that I had inadvertently seen Chandra, the moon.He was waxing slowly. I then went and saw Ganesha's reflection in a bowl filled with vermilion and water , and prayed to him to make this world a better place.