Long Live Frogs(Valentine's Day Special)

“You never see it coming.” said my  friend Steve,when I questioned him about his surprise breakup with Patty.
“One minute you're going along like everything's fine, andthe next minute she says, “It's the last straw. It's over.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean women always pretend like men are the silent ones, the ones who never communicate-- when really
it's the other way around. Things were going great. I called her every night. As usual, we went out together every few
days in spite of my heavy work schedule. Sure, we had some minor disagreements but they came and they passed, and the situations didn't seem to be connected. As for me, I always forgave her. I was the one who apologized every time,
whether it was my fault or not.”
“How did it end?” I asked.
“Normally I work in San Diego, but I got assigned to a work site up nearSan Francisco for six months. It was a six-hour drive, but I drove back down every weekend to see Patty. The assignment ended, and I returned to San Diego.
Things went smoothly for about two months. Then, after we argued about a movie (of all things!), she sent me an email letter saying that in her view, each argument of our arguments had gotten worse and worse and this was the last straw and she wasn't going to take me back. I didn’t know what she was talking about. Sure, we had some arguments over the course of the five years that I’d known her, but they were nothing. I mean, like, we were arguing over stupid stuff like which restaurant we were going to. I didn’t think it meant any big deal.

She sent me the email on my birthday. The email message said 'do not read until after your birthday.’ Maybe she didn’t want to spoil my birthday. But I was too curious,so I read it. In so many words, the letter announced she was breaking up with me. It really spoiled my birthday.
After that I tried to call her-- I practically laid siege to her apartment, but Patty wouldn't speak to me. Later, one of her friends told me she had been hanging around with this other guy while I was away working those six months in San Francisco. And about a month after the breakup Patty comes up and says to me, 'I just want you to know I still think of you as a friend.
Let's just be friends.’ But it's all bull. The thing is, she never told me anything about how she felt. I thought each disagreement was forgiven and forgotten. Then she hits me with the bomb. Plus, she was seeing this guy Bill behind my back.”

Steve’s story was interesting, but his girlfriend Patty also happened to be a friend of mine. I asked Patty about the  same events and got her version of the story.
In Patty's view:
“Steve and I were having arguments. Each argument seemed to get worse and worse. After each argument we
broke up, but Steve always begged for forgiveness and I always took him back. But both of us silently knew the really big breakup was coming and it was just a matter of time.”
“Did you ever talk to him about it?” I asked.
“I never talked about it with him because I didn't want to aggravate the situation. Then Steve left for a six month project. I thought it would give both of us a little fresh air. But I was depressed a lot, so I spent a lot of time with an old friend, Bill. Bill really cheered me up; he was a really nice guy. Do you think it’s possible for a woman to be in love with two guys at the same time? Anyway, then one day the big break-up happened. Later I started going out withBill.”

I asked Patty, “How were you able to cope with the break up?”

“Getting a new boyfriend was the best medicine for me. Getting a new boyfriend helped me forget about Steve. But I still think about him sometimes, when I'm alone.”

I asked Steve how he managed to keep from getting depressed after the breakup.

“At first I was angry. But I wasn't angry at Patty. And I wanted to punch this scum Bill. Then I was depressed. I
started driving a lot. I figured if I drove far enough or fast enough the angry thoughts would leave me.”

“Did it work?”

“Yeah, it worked okay. But I got into a car wreck; you can't really drive too well when you're wrapped up in
your thoughts. Anyway, the insurance paid for the accident, but now my insurance rates have gone up.”

“Yeah.” I agreed. “Those insurance guys make a lot of money. So what finally happened?”

“While I was in the hospital my friends visited me and I talked to them a lot, to get things off my chest. In the
hospital I also saw a lot of people worse off than myself and I started to feel like my problems weren't as big as theirs. Like this one guy had cancer. And another guy had a lung problem. Too much smoking, I think. So I figured if I joined a volunteer group, I'd see lots of people with terrible problems, and I'd stop feeling sorry for myself because everyone else was even worse off. So I joined the ‘Amigos De Las Americas’ as a medical volunteer. You practice Spanish, giving first aid, and inoculations, and they send you to poor countries in the summer. It worked great.”

“You mean the volunteer work really took your mind off your problems?”

“Yeah. Even better than that, not only did I keep my mind off my problems, but I also helped a lot of people, and I met a lot of nice girls at Amigos. Really cheerful and adventurous types. I mean, it should be obvious that people who do volunteer work have good personalities and a lot of energy, but I never figured it would be a great place to meet
women. Yeah, I made a lot of good friends.”

“That's great, Steve,” I said. “Did you find any other ways of getting over your depression?”

“Well, the turning point of my depression was when I did something really crazy.”

“What?”

“There was this science professor who used to keep live frogs in an aquarium at the biology tab. He intended to
tie the frogs-- while they were still alive and awake-- towooden chopping boards, so that his biology students could dissect the frogs the next day, to see what was inside their bodies.
 I thought it was cruel, so that night I sneaked into the lab and stole all the frogs. Around midnight, I went down to a nearby river and let each frog go free, one by one. As I held each frog, I named each one after an old girlfriend before I let it go.

Goodbye, Geena. Goodbye Mary Anne. And so on.
The last frog was the largest and I held it the longest before letting it go. I named it Patty. It was very therapeutic. I felt a kind of catharsis come over me. A feeling of letting go.”
“Do you still miss Patty?” I asked him.
Steve said, “Oh man, Don't ask me that. Well, I'll live"
 
And I muttered  "Long live Frogs ...Long live Frogs...We don't need any princesses to rescue us "