What do you get for a boy who has everything ?

20/11/2007

19:57

(It is a surreal scene.A father and son -trying out skirts and then arguing about tastes , styles and complimenting colours.Loudly.)

Then I say "Dad, did you know today's my birthday ?"

"Are you sure?" Dad asks , clearly alarmed "Isn't it the day after tomorrow ?"

(Meet dad.

Absent minded but sweet .He usually confuses his wedding day of december 22nd with my birthday of Nov 20th.

As a result , we get an amalgamation ...Nov 22nd is usually my birthday in his mind .)

"Mom !" I say , with whom we are simultaneously having a conversation on phone "Ask Dad why he doesn't know when his only child was born !...ASK HIM ! ASK HIM NOW !"

"Ok , Ok ...I'm sorry  I forgot...Er...All the best son...."Says dad , feebly shaking my hand.

"Dad !"I say"You are supposed to say something like 'Many happy returns of the day ' or simply 'happy B'day son ' or something like that, and NOT All the best son "

"Doh !" says Dad.

"MEN !" Mom and I say in unison !

"Son , " says dad"let me buy you something for your b'day...what do you want ?"

"Dad ....I want nothing...really...And if you really want to get me something, try surprising me sometime okay ?"

"There lies the problem son" says dad "There's one thing we , as your parents never figured out.What do you get for a boy who has everything ?"

In retrospect , I must have been a strange kid.Completely self contained and content.

Unfathomable.... the way I derived pleasure from the simplest of the things.

Often as a kid, soap bars and cereal boxes kept me entertained for hours.I would weave stories around imaginary characters in far off lands.Although there was no drought of toys , I was satisfied with whatever simple toys  I had or invented.

My growth must have seemed strange too.Strangely adiabatic...independent of the outside world.

In my parents defence, I must admit that they have atleast tried.I loved to sing right from my childhood.So one b'day , dad got me a wireless microphone.

As with all things , dad tried cost cutting with the microphone.As a result , I ended up with an inferior product of questionable origins which hissed and crackled incessantly.My singing was constantly interspersed with white noise and static.

I hated it and I wasn't very subtle about expressing my hatred and disappointment.

That was the last present I ever got !

My countless relatives , whose children who were showered with gifts by my parents didn't even try to reciprocate.....

..........because.......

.....What do you get for a boy who has everything ?

They didn't know and didn't bother to try.

Post B'day Blues

21/11/2007

20:22

"So what do you want for your b'day ?" sweetly asked my best friend.

"Nothing " I said laconically and added "Nothing at all "

"But let me make it easier for you.I'll tell you what I want for my next b'day and it wont even cost you a penny !"

"Its so hard buying gifts for guys you know ?" she said....

"Yeah , I know ...especially guys like me....What do you get for a boy who has everything ?"I muttered under my breath.

But then she bit her lip , started frowning while looking down.

That , from all the years I have known her , was a sign that she was thinking furiously.

And , she looked so damn cute while doing that !

Sure enough , she said "I'm thinking Yaar....for something Hatke....you know something different...."

For Once I had no doubt that she would truly surprize me.

 

P.s

Surely , there must be a logical explanation for two men trying out skirts and arguing about them.

We weren't exactly trying them out, you see...we merely held them against our waists to ascertain their length.

But Why ?

Elementary , my dear watson ....We were buying it for mom , while she was giving us instructions via phone.

Dad and I are poorly compatible as shopping mates.

We had so many differences that instead of buying one skirt and one top , we ended up buying 3 skirts and 2 tops !

Lucky Mom !(Or unlucky )