Intelligence and Unhappiness: Likely, But Not Inevitably Linked

What began with a quote from Ernest Hemingway about a relationship between intelligence and unhappiness turned into a torrent of people commenting on the connection within their own lives. Some enhancement and clarification is in order.



“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”

- Ernest Hemingway, author and journalist, Nobel laureate (1899-1961)



The original of Why Intelligent People Tend To Be Unhappy may be read at



Link


We have little reason to believe that unhappiness has a genetic component or that people with above average intelligence—or anyone else—will necessarily be unhappy.

Intelligence is not only difficult to define, some people claim that it is a construct with no validity in nature. Albert Einstein himself claimed that all babies are born geniuses, then we overcome that potential in the following years of childhood (paraphrased).

Given the confusion over the meaning of intelligence, we might conclude that intelligent people are those who are smart or unusually skilled in one or more fields, though not necessarily brighter or more talented than the average person in most human activities. In Hemingway’s quote, he likely meant people he considered to be smart in the activities that were important to him.

Happiness is even more difficult to define. It’s so individual that we can conclude that happiness is self-defined and self-imposed. That is, a happy person is happy if he believes he is happy.

Like the concept of romantic love that was invented by the French in the 13th or 14th century CE, happiness too seems to have been invented as a concept as opposed to being a natural instinct or imprint. That may partly explain why happiness is so elusive for some people today, as different people have different explanations for what it means. You can only be happy by your own definition of happiness.

To a drug addict, happiness may be a hit of his favourite narcotic. To a gambler, playing his favourite game of chance. To one person it might be personal fulfillment, to another security and satisfaction within a relationship.

More intelligent people (however you define intelligence) are no more vulnerable to unhappiness naturally than anyone else. However, the circumstances of their lives may make it easier for them to adopt unhappiness as a way of life.

All children progress along four main streams of development: intellectual, physical, social and emotional/psychological. Schools are designed to promote intellectual development. When parents of many young children are asked what they want for their kids when they grow up, some will be specific about a profession or taking over the family business, both of which show a preference for developing the child intellectually.

Some will say they just want their children to be happy. Since that word is so hard to define, those parents may be turning their kids loose to be influenced by whatever powerful forces outside the family influence their small world, such as television, video games, music or the drug dealer outside their school.

Many parents, a growing number in this world of pandemic obesity, direct their children into sports and athletic activities to advance their physical development.

Only a small minority of parents understand the importance of social and emotional development in their children. For many kids, these progress in conjunction with other activities of an intellectual or physical nature. But not in all children. Some kids don’t receive enough exposure to the right social and emotional influences at the times they need them.

As “giftedness” has a genetic component—smart parents have a good chance of having smart kids—we can expect children with a bent toward intellectual interests to develop along this stream comfortably, perhaps surpassing their peers in their knowledge and intellectual skills.

More often than not, these intellectual pursuits tend to be fairly individual in nature as all development is individual. If they are enjoyed in the company of other children, the others may be similarly underdeveloped socially and emotionally. We tend to go with our strengths, so if we are strong in intellectual ability we will tend to follow that path, perhaps to the detriment of our other streams of development.

Social maturity may be defined not just as being able to function comfortably in dialogue with one other person, in small groups of two to six or in larger groups such as at a party, but also to have the ability to build a strong and mutually beneficial relationship with one or more others, such as friends or a spouse.

Emotional maturity could be defined as the ability to cope with whatever detours and downturns life may throw at us and to know where to turn for support when it is needed. These events destroy the lives of some people.

Think of the four streams of development (intellectual, physical, social and emotional) as the base lines for a pyramid which is the growing child. The interior of the pyramid would be the environment and support systems available to the child.

If any one side of the pyramid takes strong precedence in growth over the others, the pyramid may not only not grow straight, it may collapse due to insufficient strength in its weaker sides. A person can have the same strengths and weaknesses. And the same potential for collapse.

A smart child who does not develop the skills and knowledge that form the part of him that is his physical, social and emotional sides will have the same potential for problems as a teen or an adult as an average child who is underdeveloped physically, socially or emotionally.

What we need to understand is that social and emotional skills can be taught. If all children do not receive these lessons from their parents, they can be taught by teachers in schools. Universal needs lend themselves well to universal support systems, such as schools.

Of course all of this does not take place in a vacuum. Parents must know the full range of parenting skills and provide good role models for their children. Everyone a child comes in contact with has the potential to influence him in some way for the future. The person a child respects or idolizes most should be the kind of role model that parents want their child to follow