Joe is Dead , Long live Melissa :The cockroach saga

Feeding Joe was no easy task.I had to open the jam jar lid , and put something in and quickly close the lid before it got out.Sure , Once or twice joe rogan got out (I named the cockroach Joe Rogan , kind of a revenge on fear factor for making people crunch and munch cockroaches and beetles and other nasty bugs.)

Each time it got out , i'd run to mom and ask her to catch it again.It was then I hit upon the Idea of slipping a mickey to Joe.I'd give him a piece of Rum cake dipped in rum .What I didn't know was that rum vapours would suffocate and ultimately kill Joe.
On monday morning I noticed that Joe was still, very still , not like your average cockroach , you know, not even cleaning his feelers.
I shook the jam jar and found that Joe was no more.He had gone to cockroach heaven ...

(I always imagined the cockroach heaven to be like a giant unending sewer with no sign of bug sprays or those stinky cockroach traps .Heaven would be named "Roach Motel " with 'Hotel california ' being played in the backgraound forever. The roaches would have a fresh supply of delicacies from all over the world , fresh slime , rotting meat, maggots oh..those yummy maggots , shit plenty of shitty shit of all varieties ...hard shit , loose shit , constipated shit , high fibre shit , stinky shit , shit that actually smell good,, well this was heaven , so anything was possible )

I was in a quandary.I was growing attached to Joe, like he was my pet ,most probably an offshoot of the stockholm syndrome , and now he was dead ,just like everybody else in my life,tara (my tarantula ), felix (my cat ) and now Joe.

Moreover, Tomorrow I'd have to get a cockroach for the dissection.

Tomorrow...tomorrow ...tomorrow ...Echoed in my mind.

'Mom...'

'Yes...'

'Mom , Joe passed away ... Its OK , I'm ok , I buried him ...er...Flushed him away...I'm sure he'll go to Roach Motel and be happy there... I think He OD'd on booze... atleast he ....'
I broke off


'Say what ?' Mom was half listening , half watching The Bold and the Beautiful.

'Son , make it quick ..Mommy's watching T.V..'

'Mom , I need you to catch me another cockroach...'

A loud audible sigh later she agreed .


So , thus I got Melissa , It was a she cockroach as she didn't have those horny projections that Joe had at his ass, which was a sure sign of manliness apart from the obvious !

Joe is dead , long live Melissa !

Melissa was mom's Idea, It was the time when millions of servers crashed thanks to The Melissa Virus and pandemonium ensued throughout the world.

Well my mild mannered , somewhat shy and reserved Melissa was a brave volunteer for the advancement of science, though not by her own choice.

Well days rolled on like empty tumbleweed on a hot dry desert, and tuesday snuck up without informing .Tuesday ; the day of reckoning had snuck up like a sniper with the intent to kill .

Melissa was given a treat for this was her last day on earth, a piece of cake in exchange for her life.I bet she'd received better bargains in her life before.

Mom did not believe in the soul or in reincarnation(Once you're dead ...You're DEAD ! mom would always say) , so neither did I .
So this goodbye would be the last goodbye melissa would receive along with a piece of cake for her brave sacrifice.

Melissa you can have your cake and eat it too ! Haw-haw

The lab assistant took melissa away before I asked for forgiveness from her.Melissa was thrown into a huge glass jar along with all the other cockroaches.Here among hundreds of her own kind she had attained anonymity.Thank god for that , for I'd never be able to butcher poor melissa.The glass jar was filled with poison gas so that all the cockroaches would die .It was like the gas chambers of the holocaust , but for cockroaches ...
Death is a sharp medicine , but a sound cure for all diseases and all sorrows.
As the bluish grey mist of death diffused into the gas chamber ,I offered a silent prayer in my mind.
'promise me solemnly , that you will find a world beyond this grave , and find everlasting happiness there'

Would Melissa's soul (which did not exist ) diffuse away from her body as the mist of death entered into it through her pores ?
Or would it be ejected furiously , in protest against this untimely and undignified death?

I wish I had the answers ...

Melissa , along with hundreds of her kind died that day .I hope it was a painless and quick Death.


To be continued