My kinda woman

I've been searching for the
daughter of the devil himself
I've been searching for an angel in white
I've been waiting for a woman
who's a little of both
And I can feel her but she's nowhere in sight

-Eagles (One of these Nights)

Here's my one 5 line verse for better or worse:

My kinda woman ,
wonder where she is
A beauty with brains
A wonder woman , who
needs no wonder bra !


I always wondered where my kinda woman was.Did she exist ?
Someone told me that she had already been born .She was out there somewhere !

The notion of my kinda woman lurking around , crouching in a bush just around the corner is not a comforting one.What if she turns out to be a vampire ? or worse , an umpire ? (Ok , Bad joke )

My kinda woman , would be smart and beautiful in her own way.
Notice how I've put smartness ahead of beauty.

Have you seen The Queen ? Doesn't Helen Mirren make the queen look hot ? Don't get me wrong now , I'm not trying to become the second Aston Kutcher , but older women are certainly emerging out as powerhouses.Look at Gwenyth Paltrow and chris martin .Chris martin is five years younger.
More than that he is the pioneer of geek rock.
He's a geek , why ?
He's a tee-totaler , no drugs , no rock star antics and seems to be genuine nice guy and one hell of an artist.
Thats a geek folks.
And thats geek rock folks !

But this is not about chris martin , but about my kinda woman !
Amongst sitcom moms , its Jamie Gertz , who's in still standing .she'd be my kinda woman , if she were a twenty-something !

Hey hey , "Save the cheerleader , save the world " Isn't she sexy ?
Hayden panettieri >http://img.redu.us/x/xg1df_031_hayden.panettiere_hollywoodlifeawards05.jpg">

How about contortionists ?Bendy legs , twisty body , WHOOoo... Just imagine the possibilities ! Mindboggling !>http://www.tribal-fusion.biz/performance-pics/solo-contortionists.jpg">
Or for that matter , ballerinas in their sexy little tutu's .

Figure skaters are sexy.

Writers are sexy (They have sexy brains , but there are exceptions.
>http://www.nndb.com/people/355/000045220/lahiri.jpg">

Just looking at JHumpa Lahiri , you'd think she's a model , but she has written The Namesake (Playing at a theatre near you )

One of my friends had a thing for chinese women.
For him they were the cutest in the whole wide world .We chided him for being so unpatriotic, choosing china over India .
But sadly for him , most of them ate pork , which was a big NO-NO for him and his religion.


My other favourites:
Just look at Debra messing.The plumper she gets , the sexier she looks ! (she's the only reason I watch Will and Grace )>http://z.about.com/d/tvcomedies/1/0/4/0/-/-/grace_adler.jpg">

Katherine Heigl ; I fell in love ever since Roswell The series happened.>http://www.celebritytidbits.com/c/KatherineHeigl/images/Katherine%2520Heigel.jpg">

Sandra Oh , sexy sense of humour.>http://www.greysanatomyonline.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/sandra-oh-sag-nom-06.jpg">


Vidya balan ; of course , would be great with a smaller beak than what she has now.
Kangana Ranaut ; demure yet sexy , but they say she has a head on her shoulders that is not empty .


My kinda woman, need not be a super model .In fact , I'd like a little meat on them.Rail thin girls scare me.They might snap if handled too roughly !


Watching Shallow Hal tells you that Fat people have more of this elusive thing called Inner Beauty.

Ironic for me to believe in that , considering that I have had less than 8% body fat all my life ! Am I ugly as sin ?

Call me crazy but my first crush was a leeeeetle bit on the heavy side , but that didn't get in the way of her buoyant spirit .It was that bubbly-ness that caught me , hook, line and sinker .Man was I a sucker for inner beauty !

But No 300 lb women for me.I've got a weak back !
Chubby is acceptable.Morbidly obese is not !


My kinda woman , wonder where she is ...

To find my kinda woman , if acceptable , I'd place an ad in the newspaper;

SEEKING AN ANGEL
Twenty words can't describe how wonderful she is. Give this successful, above average, romantic male, your consideration.

Go2Web20.net - The complete Web 2.0 directory

http://go2web20.net

AutoInsult - the free random insult generator

http://www.coruscant.ltd.uk/Products/AutoInsult/

for the on-line version , click on to
http://www.webinsult.com/

My Place - Where Everything is FREE!

http://www.david-pye.com/
David-pye , great guy , great stuffin his site !

The Man Dictionary

The Man Dictionary


"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."


"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"


"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.


"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."


"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST
THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the
corner is a real babe."


"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."


"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"


"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the
address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
identification numbers of every car I've ever
owned, but I forgot your birthday."


"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the
corner was a real babe."


"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF,
IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb,
but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."


"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched
hands, so I'm completely clueless."


"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"


"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what
you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it
well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."


"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."


"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one
more outfit, I'm starving."


"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

100 reasons it's great to be a guy:

100 reasons it's great to be a guy:
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2. No need to sit when you pee.

3. You know stuff about tanks.

4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

5. Monday Night Football.

6. Tools.

7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

8. You can open all your own jars.

9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

10. Dry cleaners and hair cutter's don't rob you blind.

11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

13. All your orgasms are real.

14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

17. You understand why Stripes is funny.

18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.

19. Your last name stays put.

20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

22. You can kill your own food.

23. The garage is all yours.

24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

26. Nobody secretly wonders if it's silicon.

27. You never have to clean the toilet.

28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

29. Bodybuilding is natural.

30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

33. The National College Cheerleading Championship

34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

35. You don't have to shave below your neck.

36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy man every night.

37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

38. You can write your name in the snow.

39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

40. Everything on your face stays its original color.

41. Chocolate is just another snack.

42. You can be president.

43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

44. Flowers fix everything.

45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

48. Three pair of shoes is more than enough.

49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

51. No need for hand lotion.

52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

53. You don't have to eat quiche.

54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

56. You don't have to 'Stayfree'.

57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking "He must be mad at me".

60. The world is your urinal.

61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

64. One mood, all the time.

65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.

67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

69. Same work...more pay.

70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.

76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

77. The remote is yours and yours alone.

78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

79. ESPN's sports center.

80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.

82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

86. When you get old you have 'Rugged' good looks.

87. If you grow a beard you don't have to work in a side show.

88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

95. You can wear your underwear until it denigrates.

96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

97. You think Richard Simmons is a fruitcake.

98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

99. Baywatch

100. There is always a game on somewhere.

The Perfect Joke

http://www.joke-central.com/Misc/perfect.html
I have often stolen jokes from here.So why not give this link to you ...