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Women Decoded !

Read your woman like a book!
Lol!

Dyscalculia

Dyscalculia is a specific learning disability in mathematics. Dyscalculia is a word you use to describe when people have significant problems with numbers - but still have a normal or above normal IQ. It seems that no dyscalculic has problems with math alone, but also struggle with problems being able to learn to tell time, left/right orientation, rules in games and much more. See the list of symptoms. Also, there are more types of dyscalculia, and all types demand specific learning methods aimed at the specific problem.

Is Dyscalculia Real?
Dyscalculics say it is. Teachers say it is. WHO and DSM say it is.

Dammit, I was not lazy or stupid...I simply couldn't.


How Common Is Dyscalculia?
According to UK studies done by Gross-Tsur, Manor and Shalev in 1996, 6.5% are dyscalculic. According to studies done by Lewis, Hitch and Walker in 1994, 1.3% are dyscalculic while 2.3% are dyscalculic AND dyslexic - that means that according to this study 3.6% of the World's population are dyscalculic.

That gives a total of between 3.6 and 6.5% of the World's population. And again: That means, according to these two studies, that between 216.000.000 (two hundred and sixteen million) and 390.000.000 (three hundred and ninety million) people are dyscalculic - if we say that there are 600.000.000.000 (six billion) people in the world. No international study has been done on how common it is.

I'm glad I know now.

I need others to know it too.

For more info visit: http://dyscalculiaforum.com/news.php

Incisors are your Friends

Hello kiddies!

Let me tell you a story.It's about incisors.Yours,mine and everyone Else's.

Incisors are your friends.Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I realized it once I lost them.

Without my incisors, life was suddenly not so colourful, not so wonderful.

I could no longer bite onto an apple,flash my 1000 watt smile or even talk properly.

Yes,Incisors help you enunciate clearly.Without them I can no longer speak clearly.My sibilants suck and my fricatives are all f*cked up.

I was never afraid of dentists.In fact many dentists are my good friends.

There is a good reason for that.My dad had more stringent rules than Willy Wonka's.

I never got to eat chocolates till I was five.These days I have to ask for his permission before I eat one.No I didn't end up running away or befriending oompa-loompas or building a psychedelic chocolate factory.

I ended up never visiting a dentist.

Now things have changed.I have to go to the dentist regularly, and get painful procedures done such as root canals and what-nots.I'm still not afraid.

But kiddies, I'm now a social pariah.Or at least I feel that way.

I feel embarassed to go out.I feel embarassed to talk to people, to smile, to look them in the eye.

I'm so embarrassed that no one knows I'm back home.

I don't have the courage to face my friends.

I have good friends.I know that.

I also know that they will not judge me solely based on my looks.(Boy! If they ever did, I'd end up with no friends at all)

I've got great friends.One of them called up just to ask me how I was doing.She was concerned.

It felt real nice, because she didn't know that I was back, but she still tried.

Hey , who needs incisors when you've got friends like these!

 

Have You Told Her How You Feel?

Have you told her how you feel ?

I hate this question.
The answer is
No.

I haven't told her how I feel.

I don't trust my feelings.

Why is it so important that I have to tell her my feelings ?
Isn't it  too early ?
Or Is it too late ?

Will somebody tell me?

I dont trust the volatility of my feelings(or hers).

Sometimes I'm a lusty animal,
and sometimes I feel like worshipping her.
Sometimes I hate her,
and sometimes I just don't care.

There's a constant circus in my pants.
but that's just my head playing mind games with me.

So , have I told her how I feel ?

No.

Not really.

Frankly speaking, I don't know how I feel.

 

Don't ask me why I don't smile or talk these days.

I'm coming home.

I think.



I had a nasty fall today.

I fell face first.

I think.


A total blackout after which I realized that.

I had broken both my incisors.

Had to be rushed to the doctor.

Who shook his head and sent me to the dentist.

Who yanked out both my front teeth.

She had exceptionally strong forearms.

Her kids were inside the clinic hovering around the chair and peering curiously.

My driver told me that I looked like Dracula.

I hissed at him and said 'I weel dreenk your blaad'

He laughed and clapped his hands in glee.

I look hideous.

I took my extracted teeth in a plastic bag  to be kept as mementos.

I guess my new year's resolution of getting a girlfriend will not be unfulfilled this year.

But I'm coming home.

With a few missing teeth.

Now Don't ask me why I don't smile or talk these days.

This is why.

Valentine Rant

I hate februarys...

Just like garfield hates mondays,like calvin hates rosalyn...Well you get
the picture.

It's good to be on the ship.

There's no pressure on me to express my feelings...

I thought I'll begin feb by watching Rab De Banadi Jodi...

I sucks.

I don't know how you even liked it!

Or why?



This is a movie that I watched entirely in fast forward.

Lets get out the rant.



What The Fuchsia ?



Is the scriptwriter braindead? Is the audience stupid?



Is the heroine blind?

Can't she even recognise her own husband when he shaves off his mushtache?

Is the hero a masochist?



Are we the audience Masochists?



Story:(with a finger firmly placed on the FF button)



The hero apologises to the guests for his wife's absence...



SKIPFASTFORWARD...



The hero gets his mush shaved and screams like Macaulay Culkin ...AAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAH!...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



The hero looks like sharuck khan with a KKHH hangover...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



The hero miraculously becomes the dance partner of the heroine, who does not
recognise that it is actually her dorky husband with no facial hair and very
very tight garish clothes.How in the world did they meet again as strangers?
Perhaps it was fate,destiny...even love.At this point I control my urge to
puke...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Bike ride in the rain.

'Aapka dil chahta hain ki uska dard kam ho jaaye'

BARF!...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Golgappa competition...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Bike race...WTF??? Why is Yashraj trying to claim lost glory with Dhoom
Spoofs?...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP



Yeh Maacho Kya hain Ji?...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Ek ladki aakhir chahti kya hain?...I'm glued to the seat, I don't dare to
skip, and what do I get? Pure BullShit.



Ek ladki sirf itna hi chahti hain ke woh usse itna pyaar kare jitna kisine
kisise na kiya ho'



Dude, girls are selfish!She wants to hog all your love...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP..



Song sequence in a bike in a mustard  field...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP x 10



Raj uses entire Amritsar to express his love to Dhaani, and then tells her
that he loves her like a friend only...STUPIDIDIOTNINCOMPOOP...if you are
just a friend, don't ever ever do that mistake...she'll suspect you
forever(even if you were telling the truth)...Trust me.



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Silly sumo fight and a sardar wearing a kimono...Yes , now this is
confirmed to be a bollywood movie!

Mr.Dork wins against the sumo, but makes dhaani cry.Waaah!...My friend is
right.All women are crazy.



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Aap kuch chahen bina mujhe pyaar kaise kar sakte hain?...



SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



Baagh jayiye mere saath....Aaj raat hamari amritsar mein aakhri raat
hogi.Tan Tana!



Grand Finale!

Yes, it ends with a dance!But the dork comes instead of Raj! Yay !Its a
dance of where all secrets are revealed! It has Flashbacks!It has unfocussed visuals and
voiceovers!It has flashy moves!And I hate it!...

SKIPFASTFORWARDSKIP...



It's a happy ending ! Yay !

I'm barfing all the way!



Rab ne banadi hogi yeh jodi, but kis gadhe ne yeh banayi yeh movie?



Also watched Aryan,Jodhaa Akbar and namastey london which crammed into 49
min in a DVD.

Viva La pirated dvd !