What is a pregnant goldfish called?

A bubble is round because the air within it presses equally against all its parts, thus causing all surfaces to be equidistant from its centre.
So now you know.

According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg.
So there you have it.


Sahara means desert in Arabic.
So the Sahara Desert is actually Desert x 2.

To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, you should push your thumbs into its eyeballs.
Might work with other animals too, but not with cyborgs and zombies.

Mary, Mary quite contrary was Mary, Queen of Scots.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
Why?
Because she forgot to take her pills on time.

Starfish don't have brains.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only jelly fish in a starfish sanctuary.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
But you can...after you push your thumbs through its eyeballs and escape with your life.
Although the now blind croc might not be able to get affronted by your tongue.

It is illegal to be a prostitue in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary.
On the other hand it's quite ok to be a contrary queen.Even in Italy.

A group of hippopotmuses(or hippopotami) is called a bloat.
When women say they feel bloated, that's how they are feeling.

It takes four hours to hard boil an ostrich egg.
Out of which you spend three hours trying to run away from the ostrich mother.

A group of owls is called a parliament.
I thought the parliament usually had jackasses and hyenas and blood sucking leeches.

Trivial Jokes:Take trivia and add a punchline.
And then add another...everyday.
That's what they taught me at improv class.

I excel at the writing part...churning mediocre jokes that appeal to the lowest common denominator(or so I'm told)...but it's the delivery that's killing me...
instead of my audience.

Maybe I should try Vogon poetry.