Kappe Chronicles

Once upon a time there existed in the small city of mangalore ,a group of friends :Kappe the frog, Pendulum,Gunny Sack,Madfartingcow,Madhubala,Mashi the buffalo,Alien rich guy(from mars), Alien Bully (from jupiter),and the unintended twins.
        I was one of the unintended twins.
We were unintended twins because we were born of two different sets of parents , on different days and were in no way genetically similar.
But after a quick glance anyone would  almost always asked the much hated question ...

"Hey , Are you both twins? "
No...

NO...

NOOOOOOOOOOO !

                       But this is not the story of the unintended twins nor it is of the Pendulum who was also Gadha the ass, or Gunny Sack a timid introvert who went on to become the greatest seducer of the world or Madfartingcow who was mad about Madhuri Dixit , or Madhubala who always tailed madfartingcow or Mashi the buffalo(so many ruminants !) or the interplanetary rivalry between aliens or the non-sexual S/M relationship between the other unintended twin and the Alien Rich Guy(from mars)

                                          This is, as requested , a story about Kappe the frog.Kappe the frog was my friend, neighbour and classmate.Kappe was the middle child with two brothers , one older and one younger.I met Kappe recently.He is still the same, slightly taller , but otherwise the same.Cancer had claimed his mother a year ago, and that was all I knew about him.

                          I  must add that this is not a story about  Boofsie, who thought the word 'Boofsie' was the ultimate swear word , but never realized that what he was repeating over and over again was a corruption of the word 'Boobs', which could mean either a certain variety of birds, or a couple of idiots or the usual breasts.Alas, unfortunately his efforts to popularise it as the de facto swear word got him his nick name "Boofsie"
                               I must add that Boofsie had an unhealthy male body builder fixation.When not talking about lats and pecs and triceps and biceps , he would draw extremely muscular men and drool over them.Boofsie sat next to me.I was terrified of him.But fortunately he believed that brahmins(a priestly class caste)  like me had the power to curse and make those curses come true.So I was safe due to a superstition.
                                                         This is not the story of Moojikaas,or Threepenny who was Boofsie's friend, who would just before lunch time stick a spoon up his crotch and then sniff it languorously, while inviting us to join .
Urrrk!...I just lost my appetite.Moojikaas kept his distance from me because he too believed in my ability to inflict curses.In a way it is strange for people to believe that I have psychic abilities, or that I have had an out of body experience.It ain't true fellas ! I'm just making  monkeys out of ya !

Some other day I'll tell you about the splendid fights between Kappe the frog and Pregnant boy, who got his moniker in grade six after he went on saying that he was 3 months pregnant and had a cat in his stomach.
That was just an excuse.
In reality he was just  fat and had a spare gut tyre.

Pregnant Boy got another moniker which was really popular-Hipgenda -a mythical chimera , formed due to the unholy union of a hippo and a Genda or a Rhino.This nickname was also becase of his corpulent body.
                              These verbal sparring duels went on for hours and we would egg each of them, and the help them come up with creative yet obscene insults that each would deliver and outdo each other.The verbal duels kept us  entertained for hours , during free periods ,lunch hours and toilet breaks.

                                            There are simply too many stories to be told.Kappe and the building episode, Kappe and the bunking, Kappe comes up with BBC,The song of Neskappe to name a few.
                                                                   Memories are strange in that way.As I take a look around, back into the past, I find that everything is illuminated, an ethereal luminescence affects everything I see.Things are clear and fuzzy at the same time.Its clear to me now that Boofsie would become gay later in life(unverified) or that Alien Rich Guy got his pleasure from repeatedly rejecting friendship offers from my unintended twin the same way my unintended twin got his pleasure from begging Alien Rich Guy for a morsel of his friendship.It was definitely S/M but in a non-sexual way, but it is hard for me to remember my own nickname-was it Tricky Vicky, or WeakAss, or pickass ?

When does a story really end or Where does a a story end ?Does it end with the protagonist living happily ever after , or does it end with his eventual death , or simply when there is nothing more left to say?
I think the story ends when the chronicler gives up, because without the storyteller there is no story.So as a chronicler , it is my duty to inform you that memories are fallible.So are men(and women).

Intangibles areo fragile things that are as strong as their creators and have that strange malleable quality with which one can marginalize events that he deems not so important or embellish ones that he likes, or to bend events with sheer will and recreate  past.
                           Thus Kappe chronicles exist solely in the hearts and minds of the chroniclers of past,and are in every sense fallible and prone to error.This is my disclaimer , my narrative exigency because events may or may not have occured in the same way I remember them.

So let us end this chronicle with the Birth of a Kappe or  frog.
Kappe the frog , who is now a med rep among other things was my neighbour and my friend.

It was on an endless summer,when we were playing cricket till dusk ,that Kappe the frog was born.I remember the precise moment as though it happened yesterday.(so cliched don't you think ?)
The bowler lobbed a lazy ball up to a very determined batsman.
The batsman attacked hungrily and lofted the ball high above into the now dying sun.
Kappe who was not yet Kappe , stood underneath , anticipating the parabolic path of the ball as it accelerated towards the earth.
Kappe who was not yet Kappe , in total concentration, had cupped his palms like a yawning reptile and at the same time kept his mouth open as if he could catch it in his mouth instead of his hands.
The ball accelerated downwards at a rate of 9.8 metres per second squared not knowing that it had a major role to play in the history of making of a Kappe who was not yet Kappe.
Plop fell the ball into Kappe's who was not yet Kappe's hands, and as he caught it , his wide open mouth shut as if he had caught the ball in his mouth and his fingers curled around the ball, securing it , and the batsman left the field cursing the jubilant Kappe who was not yet Kappe.
His teammates congratulated him and they celebrated as the smell of sweat,mud and victory was in  the air.

All this was marred by a single voice.
It said "Shit ! he looked like a Kappe, like a frog when he caught that ball"

Thus Kappe the frog was born.