The Donkey and the Seaman

Once upon a time , in a kingdom far far away, the king had a pet donkey.The royal donkey , which held a title of 'The First Donkey ' ,or 'Your Assness' was a stubborn petulant spoiled pet , as is the case with most members of the royal family.

One day , the king , announced a kingdom wide competition called 'Make the donkey shake his head without touching it and win a million smackeroos*'.The title of the competition was self explanatory.
While no one knew why this particular competition was held , it was generally known that most kings had their way with their whims and fancies.But the citizens of the kingdom were far more motivated by the million smackeroos .Most of these had made plans of cashing in these smackeroos and emigrating to the neighbouring kingdom , where the king was not eccentric enough to hold competitions that required any ass head shaking.

When the competition began , many assumed it to be a walk in the park. Eager participants thought that all they had to do was dangle a carrot in front of the ass, and they would claim the million smackeroos.(most of them got the wrong end of the ass though !)
Thus , many came , many tried and many failed.The stubborn donkey would not even bat an eyelid or occasionally shake its tail to shoo away the flies.

Usually , at the end of such stories , comes the denouement in the form of a character who somehow manages to complete the aforementioned mission impossible in a tottaly novel and implausible way, and win the competition.

At this point in the story, some of you would have glanced at the title and killed the suspense for yourselves...Now tell me ...How does it feel ?Does it feel like spoilt milk or jockstrap itch ?You let me know.
Coming back ...Enter Seaman stage right.
The seaman walked confidently towards the donkey and whispered into its ear.
Lo !Behold ! The First Donkey began shaking its head , vigorously , in fear , till it got a Royal case of Whiplash.
Sadly due to some unforeseen complications,the First Donkey had to be put to sleep.

It was later reported by the local newspaper that king , alarmed by the violent reaction of his royal ass, had the seaman immediately arrested and hanged within a week.

What was not reported was that the seaman was interrogated and tortured by the Kingdom Far Far Away Secret Service in hopes that he would reveal his method of inducing terror in unsophisticated animals like donkeys.

The seaman's last words before getting executed were cryptic, and went something like this "I just asked him if he'd like to join the sea "

Pessimism is all around.Things aren't what they used to be , lament the old salts .All newcomers are derisively asked the same question."Didn't you find anything better ashore that you came here to waste your life ?'
Half of the crew wants to quit this life as soon as possible .They also want to drag the other half along with them.

Everyone has their own reasons.
The master wants to quit because his wife is expecting .The First mate , because he is newly married and misses his wife.The Able seaman wants to quit because this job and the money earned so far has given his family stability and security , but the family has moved on now.
Everybody wants to quit because of their personal reasons along with many general ones.Shorter port stays , increasingly stringent regulations, criminalization of seafarers, rampant commercialization , increase in responsibilities , stress and the wealth of options ashore , where one can spend his nights with his family at least.

This is a strange situation where demand and supply are threatening to become inversely proportional.No one knows how the shipping industry will tackle the twin problems of explosive boom of the industry and acute shortage of manpower together.

The Donkey and the seaman, or many of its variations are making rounds of the seafaring community.Having already heard three versions of this joke , the author would like to present his own.

It is fair to say that a career at sea is not for everyone.He must be able to deal with considerable responsibility right from the start.The officers ensure the safety of their ships, their shipmates and the environment Apart form safety , the officers and crew are also responsible for cargo that can be valued around 100 million USD or more .

The author would like to state that , although this career and lifestyle can be tough and stressful at times , working on board a ship offers a truly unique and stimulating lifestyle, at good wages and leave options.

One just requires the right temperament and attitude and a healthy degree of masochism are required to survive in this field.

So don't let the donkey dishearten you.After all it was just a royal pain in the ass.