http://www.joeydevilla.com/2007/09/22/simpsons-scenes-and-their-reference-movies/
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Make money while surfing...
http://www.agloco.com/r/BBDH8099
So far this site hasn't worked for me...Maybe it will work for you...But don't keep your hopes too high !
There are a few juicy stories of big bucks made from this site...Authenticity is yet to be proved...
So its up to you to take a risk !
So far this site hasn't worked for me...Maybe it will work for you...But don't keep your hopes too high !
There are a few juicy stories of big bucks made from this site...Authenticity is yet to be proved...
So its up to you to take a risk !
9 Reasons Why Men Don’t Need Women
9 Reasons Why Men Don’t Need Women
1. Internet porn / Masturbation
We have too much readily available porn to worry about women anymore. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, they are all here. Good luck finding a woman who will dye her hair and fuck a donkey for your amusement every odd Thursday night. Also remember this; your hand will never, (Unless you are into some sick shit that none of us ever want to know about) cheat on you.
2. We can feel bad about our lives all by ourselves
Yes, we all know exactly how long we have been on the computer or playing that new video game we just bought. We know because the woman next to us won’t shut the fuck up about it. We also know that we probably need a new job and should start giving thought to our future soon. Telling us constantly will not make us give any more of a shit.
3. We don’t need anymore reasons to drink
Our sporting teams give us enough of those. If they aren’t around, our friends are there for backup. A drunk who is drinking over a woman is the saddest kind of creature. Seeing that is like watching the twin towers fall; it hurts the heart. It is never fun being around those guys either. How many parties have been ruined by the sad drunk, I ask? And how long we allow this douchebaggery to continue?!
4. Feelings are fucking stupid
Don’t give me shit for this; I’m just stating what every other man is thinking. Does anyone ever wonder why it is so hard for a man to get in touch with his feminine side? Because it is not fucking natural. Men are meant to be unthinking, unfeeling, brutish bastards. Embrace your destiny. Go pee on something and claim it as yours.
5. You can’t trust a woman
If anyone ever told you that you could, it was probably a woman and she was lying to you. Don’t believe me? Check your mouth for a hook and a piece of meat, because you have been reeled in buddy. Free yourselves, brothers, before you end up as shark chum on the end of some stupid whore’s rich-man fishing line.
6. Female logic is not scientific
It is downright absurd in most cases. I mean, seriously, from a race of humanoids that carry around tiny dogs in pink purses, everything must be taken with a grain of salt. The questions they ask are foolish and often leave the men who are subjected to it dumbfounded. We don’t refrain from answering because we don’t know, we don’t answer because idiocy is contagious.
7. Women worry about the stupidest shit
“Don’t go outside, it’s cold!” Fuck that, not as cold as your iced-over heart. It never ceases to amaze me the way a woman will drag a man’s very soul through the depths of hell then still worry about his physical well-being. What the fuck? Leave us alone to die if we want to, bitch. No, wait… I get it now. You would rather have us suffer until were old. Devious indeed.
8. Domestication = cutting off your balls
Just like a horse that has been beaten everyday for years; a man too can have his spirit broken. We all know men who were once wild party animals that have now become lame house husbands. I have many friends like this. It is almost like they have died. I’ll miss you guys.
9. You’re better off alone anyways
No one needs a girlfriend. In the words of Foamy, our great lord and master, “Having a girlfriend does not make you cool.” If you are one of those people who need a significant other to make you feel “complete”, kill yourself now. It is a far less cruel fate than the one you are walking blindly into right now.
Note to women; this is all a big joke.
1. Internet porn / Masturbation
We have too much readily available porn to worry about women anymore. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, they are all here. Good luck finding a woman who will dye her hair and fuck a donkey for your amusement every odd Thursday night. Also remember this; your hand will never, (Unless you are into some sick shit that none of us ever want to know about) cheat on you.
2. We can feel bad about our lives all by ourselves
Yes, we all know exactly how long we have been on the computer or playing that new video game we just bought. We know because the woman next to us won’t shut the fuck up about it. We also know that we probably need a new job and should start giving thought to our future soon. Telling us constantly will not make us give any more of a shit.
3. We don’t need anymore reasons to drink
Our sporting teams give us enough of those. If they aren’t around, our friends are there for backup. A drunk who is drinking over a woman is the saddest kind of creature. Seeing that is like watching the twin towers fall; it hurts the heart. It is never fun being around those guys either. How many parties have been ruined by the sad drunk, I ask? And how long we allow this douchebaggery to continue?!
4. Feelings are fucking stupid
Don’t give me shit for this; I’m just stating what every other man is thinking. Does anyone ever wonder why it is so hard for a man to get in touch with his feminine side? Because it is not fucking natural. Men are meant to be unthinking, unfeeling, brutish bastards. Embrace your destiny. Go pee on something and claim it as yours.
5. You can’t trust a woman
If anyone ever told you that you could, it was probably a woman and she was lying to you. Don’t believe me? Check your mouth for a hook and a piece of meat, because you have been reeled in buddy. Free yourselves, brothers, before you end up as shark chum on the end of some stupid whore’s rich-man fishing line.
6. Female logic is not scientific
It is downright absurd in most cases. I mean, seriously, from a race of humanoids that carry around tiny dogs in pink purses, everything must be taken with a grain of salt. The questions they ask are foolish and often leave the men who are subjected to it dumbfounded. We don’t refrain from answering because we don’t know, we don’t answer because idiocy is contagious.
7. Women worry about the stupidest shit
“Don’t go outside, it’s cold!” Fuck that, not as cold as your iced-over heart. It never ceases to amaze me the way a woman will drag a man’s very soul through the depths of hell then still worry about his physical well-being. What the fuck? Leave us alone to die if we want to, bitch. No, wait… I get it now. You would rather have us suffer until were old. Devious indeed.
8. Domestication = cutting off your balls
Just like a horse that has been beaten everyday for years; a man too can have his spirit broken. We all know men who were once wild party animals that have now become lame house husbands. I have many friends like this. It is almost like they have died. I’ll miss you guys.
9. You’re better off alone anyways
No one needs a girlfriend. In the words of Foamy, our great lord and master, “Having a girlfriend does not make you cool.” If you are one of those people who need a significant other to make you feel “complete”, kill yourself now. It is a far less cruel fate than the one you are walking blindly into right now.
Note to women; this is all a big joke.
A snake in hand is worth two in bush !
My pet peeves are : anything with more than four legs,
creepy crawly things
and cold slimy things.
Often when you claim to be an animal lover , people ask you to prove yourself.The first time I had to prove myself was when a chameleon wandered into our hostel .Soon a few boys were ready to squish it under their boots, but not if I had my way first.....
Reptiles are cold-blooded.
It feels unnatural to touch them.
So cold and clammy...and surprisingly smelly !
And I'm a man enough to accept it that I don't like to touch cold and clammy things...
So on that day , to save the chameleon , I had to move beyond my comfort barriers and
touch the chameleon...
I had no plan at hand at that moment...
The boys had surrounded the chameleon and it was darting around afraid , holding onto its dear life...
One of them started taunting me to save it...
Boys will be boys .They still follow a crude tribal hierarchy.
This brat pack which tormenting the chameleon had a leader and he for some reason left (probably to get a stick or something) the scene.
As the alpha male of the group left , the rest of the brat pack left too.
This was it .
It was now or never.
With no pre-conceived plan in my mind , I lunged forward with the intent of rescuing the chameleon.
It was a mad dash and lunge , totally spontaneous , which is probably why it worked and
I caught the chameleon by its long and scaly tail.
With one swift motion I threw it out of an open window , into a bush nearby(We were in
the ground floor of our hostel).
Mission Accomplished !
WhooHoo !
After that incident I realized that I didn't know a thing about reptiles.I had once briefly considered switching careers and becoming a snake-catcher.But I never did learn to catch and handle snakes.I could identify a few local snakes, but thats it.
A few days ago , I had asked the local snake-catcher, Mr.Charles ,to teach me how to
catch snakes .
I haven't gotten any response yet.
But yesterday's circumstances led me towards handling a snake without having ever done so before.
Lets get back to the cuckoo for a moment.
Originally the plan was to teach the cuckoo to be self-sufficient ,and then once it was
old enough to fend for itself , release it .
(The cuckoo and my mom)
That plan never materialized !
Our cuckoo is one lazy bastard(But we all love it dearly)who will not even pick up its food from its plate.It has grown big but still acts like a baby and constantly demands attention , love and huge amounts of food.
We never wanted to keep the cuckoo in a cage.Inspired by the Singapore Zoo, We made a
large net cage that was draped around a low lying chickoo tree.In this way the cuckoo would get used to being outdoors in a natural setting and ultimately help it when we released it.
The cuckoo loved the new netted cage that gave it limited freedom combined with safety and our supervision.
The net cage worked fine for three weeks.Yesterday though , as mom went to feed the cuckoo, she noticed something odd that made her cry out in fear.
There was a snake in the net, which had succeeded in breaching the net .The snake had
made it halfway through towards the blissfully unaware bird.
Mom's shouting alerted dad , who called me to extract the bird to a more secure location(we have a standby metal cage which we never use).
Mom was in shock...
"Get the Bird out , Save the Bird, do anything , but first save the bird" shouted mom.
Luckily for me , the bird was hungry and had come down to a lower branch , just within my reach.I grabbed the bird and stuffed it in the metal cage.
Now there was another problem...The Snake.
The snake had somehow made a hole in the net and entered.But it didn't take into
account the fact that its body is wider than its head.(Snakes are not too smart).
Our Bird-Eater was stuck in the net !
This snake was a Rat Snake (Ptyas Mucosas) , or what we locals call "Kere Hawu ".The
snake was a young one , olivaceous yellow in colour about a metre long.
Rat snakes are quite agile and can climb trees easily.They also have long and prehensile
tails which they use to tie a knot and exert a pull on their victim.These snakes also emit a
foul odour on touch and secrete a black liquid from the anal glands.
We wanted to release the snake , without hurting it.The only way to do that was to cut
the net.I climbed on the compound wall , and stood on the edge precariously balanced
and armed with only a pair of scissors , started cutting the net.
The snake , naturally scared , started panicking and rolling , getting itself more and
more entangled into the net.I had to hold on to its tail to steady it.
Yuck !
Rat Snakes are strong despite their slender appearance.They are muscular
Snakes are not slimy .They are simply cold and leathery.
It feels like touching a dead fish.
Also Rat snakes emit foul odours !
So it was like touching a dead rotten fish !
I held on to a thrashing rat snake's tail with one hand while extending my other to cut the net with the scissors.Finally the snake was free and I threw it down.
Now came the second problem.A part of the net was still stuck on the snake , choking it slowly.
Mom wouldn't let me handle the snake anymore.(I'm the only child , so she is naturally a bit protective.)So we decided to call the snake-handler's (Mr.Charles) apprentice, a close family friend of ours.
The apprentice agreed to come soon , but the snake was fading .After a bit of haranguing I convinced my mom to let me handle the snake.
Although non-venomous ,rat snakes have very sharp teeth.So I wore thick leather gloves just in case it decided to bite me.
I went close to the snake and carefully held its head.In an instant , its entire body was wrapped around my right arm and its tail thrashing.I had to hold the rest of the body lightly.
The trick to handling snakes is confidence.Shaky hands can make a snake nervous or simply infuriate them.Also , when holding the head , hold it as gently as possible, or else they risk death by suffocation.
I held the snake and steadied its body.Although the entire neighbourhood was present , no one dared to come forward.So mom came with the scissors and began slowly cutting away the net that had been suffocating our snake.
(Dad's not a good photographer , so dont focus on my facial expression .And Yes .I was scared shitless)
Once the net was off , I let the snake go into a stream nearby.
I scurried off and then swam away without as much as a thanks .
The show was over for now.
My arms stank and were covered with a black slimy liquid and I went back inside to wash my hands.
The apprentice arrived as soon as I released the snake, making his appearance completely useless.
But it was a happy ending .No One Got Hurt and everyone went home happy.(The snake went home hungry !)
And the show was truly over for now.
creepy crawly things
and cold slimy things.
Often when you claim to be an animal lover , people ask you to prove yourself.The first time I had to prove myself was when a chameleon wandered into our hostel .Soon a few boys were ready to squish it under their boots, but not if I had my way first.....
Reptiles are cold-blooded.
It feels unnatural to touch them.
So cold and clammy...and surprisingly smelly !
And I'm a man enough to accept it that I don't like to touch cold and clammy things...
So on that day , to save the chameleon , I had to move beyond my comfort barriers and
touch the chameleon...
I had no plan at hand at that moment...
The boys had surrounded the chameleon and it was darting around afraid , holding onto its dear life...
One of them started taunting me to save it...
Boys will be boys .They still follow a crude tribal hierarchy.
This brat pack which tormenting the chameleon had a leader and he for some reason left (probably to get a stick or something) the scene.
As the alpha male of the group left , the rest of the brat pack left too.
This was it .
It was now or never.
With no pre-conceived plan in my mind , I lunged forward with the intent of rescuing the chameleon.
It was a mad dash and lunge , totally spontaneous , which is probably why it worked and
I caught the chameleon by its long and scaly tail.
With one swift motion I threw it out of an open window , into a bush nearby(We were in
the ground floor of our hostel).
Mission Accomplished !
WhooHoo !
After that incident I realized that I didn't know a thing about reptiles.I had once briefly considered switching careers and becoming a snake-catcher.But I never did learn to catch and handle snakes.I could identify a few local snakes, but thats it.
A few days ago , I had asked the local snake-catcher, Mr.Charles ,to teach me how to
catch snakes .
I haven't gotten any response yet.
But yesterday's circumstances led me towards handling a snake without having ever done so before.
Lets get back to the cuckoo for a moment.
Originally the plan was to teach the cuckoo to be self-sufficient ,and then once it was
old enough to fend for itself , release it .
(The cuckoo and my mom)
That plan never materialized !
Our cuckoo is one lazy bastard(But we all love it dearly)who will not even pick up its food from its plate.It has grown big but still acts like a baby and constantly demands attention , love and huge amounts of food.
We never wanted to keep the cuckoo in a cage.Inspired by the Singapore Zoo, We made a
large net cage that was draped around a low lying chickoo tree.In this way the cuckoo would get used to being outdoors in a natural setting and ultimately help it when we released it.
The cuckoo loved the new netted cage that gave it limited freedom combined with safety and our supervision.
The net cage worked fine for three weeks.Yesterday though , as mom went to feed the cuckoo, she noticed something odd that made her cry out in fear.
There was a snake in the net, which had succeeded in breaching the net .The snake had
made it halfway through towards the blissfully unaware bird.
Mom's shouting alerted dad , who called me to extract the bird to a more secure location(we have a standby metal cage which we never use).
Mom was in shock...
"Get the Bird out , Save the Bird, do anything , but first save the bird" shouted mom.
Luckily for me , the bird was hungry and had come down to a lower branch , just within my reach.I grabbed the bird and stuffed it in the metal cage.
Now there was another problem...The Snake.
The snake had somehow made a hole in the net and entered.But it didn't take into
account the fact that its body is wider than its head.(Snakes are not too smart).
Our Bird-Eater was stuck in the net !
This snake was a Rat Snake (Ptyas Mucosas) , or what we locals call "Kere Hawu ".The
snake was a young one , olivaceous yellow in colour about a metre long.
Rat snakes are quite agile and can climb trees easily.They also have long and prehensile
tails which they use to tie a knot and exert a pull on their victim.These snakes also emit a
foul odour on touch and secrete a black liquid from the anal glands.
We wanted to release the snake , without hurting it.The only way to do that was to cut
the net.I climbed on the compound wall , and stood on the edge precariously balanced
and armed with only a pair of scissors , started cutting the net.
The snake , naturally scared , started panicking and rolling , getting itself more and
more entangled into the net.I had to hold on to its tail to steady it.
Yuck !
Rat Snakes are strong despite their slender appearance.They are muscular
Snakes are not slimy .They are simply cold and leathery.
It feels like touching a dead fish.
Also Rat snakes emit foul odours !
So it was like touching a dead rotten fish !
I held on to a thrashing rat snake's tail with one hand while extending my other to cut the net with the scissors.Finally the snake was free and I threw it down.
Now came the second problem.A part of the net was still stuck on the snake , choking it slowly.
Mom wouldn't let me handle the snake anymore.(I'm the only child , so she is naturally a bit protective.)So we decided to call the snake-handler's (Mr.Charles) apprentice, a close family friend of ours.
The apprentice agreed to come soon , but the snake was fading .After a bit of haranguing I convinced my mom to let me handle the snake.
Although non-venomous ,rat snakes have very sharp teeth.So I wore thick leather gloves just in case it decided to bite me.
I went close to the snake and carefully held its head.In an instant , its entire body was wrapped around my right arm and its tail thrashing.I had to hold the rest of the body lightly.
The trick to handling snakes is confidence.Shaky hands can make a snake nervous or simply infuriate them.Also , when holding the head , hold it as gently as possible, or else they risk death by suffocation.
I held the snake and steadied its body.Although the entire neighbourhood was present , no one dared to come forward.So mom came with the scissors and began slowly cutting away the net that had been suffocating our snake.
(Dad's not a good photographer , so dont focus on my facial expression .And Yes .I was scared shitless)
Once the net was off , I let the snake go into a stream nearby.
I scurried off and then swam away without as much as a thanks .
The show was over for now.
My arms stank and were covered with a black slimy liquid and I went back inside to wash my hands.
The apprentice arrived as soon as I released the snake, making his appearance completely useless.
But it was a happy ending .No One Got Hurt and everyone went home happy.(The snake went home hungry !)
And the show was truly over for now.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Peta Kills Animals
http://www.petakillsanimals.com/petasdirtysecret.cfm
Well I just dont know what to say !
Well I just dont know what to say !
Men are smarter than women - but they're more stupid too
Men are smarter than women - but they're more stupid too
Men have always believed that they are smarter than women. Now, a study has found that while this is certainly true, men also have to deal with the fact that they are also more stupid than the fairer sex.
In the study, scientists measured the IQ of 2500 brothers and sisters and they found an uneven number of men not only in the top two per cent, but also in the bottom two per cent.
The study's participants were tested on science, maths, English and mechanical abilities.
Though there were twice as many men as women in the smartest group, there were also twice as many men among the dolts.
The aggregate scores of men and women were similar.
One of the study's authors, psychology professor Timothy Bates, said that the phenomenon may be because men have always been expected to be high achievers and women have been restricted to spend time taking care of their home.
"The female developmental programme may be tilted more towards ensuring survival and the safety of the middle ground," the Daily Mail quoted Professor Bates, of Edinburgh University, as saying.
The research tallies with past results that men were more likely than women to receive first class University degrees or thirds and women secured the seconds.
It has been said that men are more ready to take risk when it comes to academics while women have been found to be more steady in their learning.
A past study has shown that women are securing more firsts and seconds, while men are continuing to receive more thirds.
The argument for the change is that the increase of coursework at the cost of exams favours women's steady approach.
Men have always believed that they are smarter than women. Now, a study has found that while this is certainly true, men also have to deal with the fact that they are also more stupid than the fairer sex.
In the study, scientists measured the IQ of 2500 brothers and sisters and they found an uneven number of men not only in the top two per cent, but also in the bottom two per cent.
The study's participants were tested on science, maths, English and mechanical abilities.
Though there were twice as many men as women in the smartest group, there were also twice as many men among the dolts.
The aggregate scores of men and women were similar.
One of the study's authors, psychology professor Timothy Bates, said that the phenomenon may be because men have always been expected to be high achievers and women have been restricted to spend time taking care of their home.
"The female developmental programme may be tilted more towards ensuring survival and the safety of the middle ground," the Daily Mail quoted Professor Bates, of Edinburgh University, as saying.
The research tallies with past results that men were more likely than women to receive first class University degrees or thirds and women secured the seconds.
It has been said that men are more ready to take risk when it comes to academics while women have been found to be more steady in their learning.
A past study has shown that women are securing more firsts and seconds, while men are continuing to receive more thirds.
The argument for the change is that the increase of coursework at the cost of exams favours women's steady approach.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
FriendsForever
"There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other."
- Bing Crosby
Its late to celebrate friendship day...but I'm really tired that you've never kept any of your promises.
Not honouring your promises is as good as breaking them.
Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.
I see the cracks now...
Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.
It doesn't matter whether you kick it or mollycoddle it now...the cracks are real.Everything's eventual ...even this.
"Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other."
- Honore Debalazac
I wasn't superior ...You weren't either .
We were equals.
Or
So
I
Thought...
When I needed you most
when I needed a friend,
you let me down now like
I let you down then
If so...it wasn't intentional... Forgive me.
- Bing Crosby
Its late to celebrate friendship day...but I'm really tired that you've never kept any of your promises.
Not honouring your promises is as good as breaking them.
Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.
I see the cracks now...
Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.
It doesn't matter whether you kick it or mollycoddle it now...the cracks are real.Everything's eventual ...even this.
"Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other."
- Honore Debalazac
I wasn't superior ...You weren't either .
We were equals.
Or
So
I
Thought...
When I needed you most
when I needed a friend,
you let me down now like
I let you down then
If so...it wasn't intentional... Forgive me.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Download Music Legally For Free (Only In canada and USA)
http://www.spiralfrog.com/membership/default.aspx?c=1
SpiralFrog is a Web-based, ad-supported music experience, combining music discovery with the free acquisition of audio and music video files, licensed from major and independent record labels and publishers.
We are a market-driven solution to illicit pirate file-sharing sites, with an easy to use Web interface that allows music lovers to discover artists, songs, music videos and artist information.
SpiralFrog is a Web-based, ad-supported music experience, combining music discovery with the free acquisition of audio and music video files, licensed from major and independent record labels and publishers.
We are a market-driven solution to illicit pirate file-sharing sites, with an easy to use Web interface that allows music lovers to discover artists, songs, music videos and artist information.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Whatta Match-3 (We Are The Champions)
Whatta Match !
Finals:
INDIA v/s PAKISTAN
INDIA WIN BY 5 RUNS !
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS !
WHOOHOO !
India v/s Pakistan ...The rivalry is as old as ...well as time itself !
The match always brings out the best in both the teams.
The Atmosphere of the match was electric...crackling with tension .My Dad was literally jumping out of the sofa and shouting at the Indian bowlers whenever they bowled badly.Mom , who never watches cricket was shouting and screaming and cheering India.
We literally jumped off our seats and started dancing and Hi-fiveing when Shreesanth took the catch of Misbah.
Misbah-ul-haq , a great batsman in times of extreme pressure played brilliantly .He can be credited for singlehandedly turning around the match to Pakistan's favour like he did it once before in the previous India v/s Pakistan match.
Misbah , My hear goes out for your lion-hearted performance ...But I guess it wasn't meant to be your day yet.
Dhoni , you lucky bastard ...you will be hailed as the new cricketing genius .With only 7 matches of experience as a captain , you have pulled off the biggest win so far.
I hope this is not your last !
Chak de India ...Chak De !
Finals:
INDIA v/s PAKISTAN
INDIA WIN BY 5 RUNS !
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS !
WHOOHOO !
India v/s Pakistan ...The rivalry is as old as ...well as time itself !
The match always brings out the best in both the teams.
The Atmosphere of the match was electric...crackling with tension .My Dad was literally jumping out of the sofa and shouting at the Indian bowlers whenever they bowled badly.Mom , who never watches cricket was shouting and screaming and cheering India.
We literally jumped off our seats and started dancing and Hi-fiveing when Shreesanth took the catch of Misbah.
Misbah-ul-haq , a great batsman in times of extreme pressure played brilliantly .He can be credited for singlehandedly turning around the match to Pakistan's favour like he did it once before in the previous India v/s Pakistan match.
Misbah , My hear goes out for your lion-hearted performance ...But I guess it wasn't meant to be your day yet.
Dhoni , you lucky bastard ...you will be hailed as the new cricketing genius .With only 7 matches of experience as a captain , you have pulled off the biggest win so far.
I hope this is not your last !
Chak de India ...Chak De !
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Whatta Match -2
Whoo Hoo !
An absolute firecracker !
India defeated the mighty Aussies...and are now through to the finals !
Also , In the last few days...
Sensex crossed 16000
The Rupee gained over the UsDollar(and USD went below 40 )
India also beat the mighty Proteas !
Finals
India V/s Pakistan...
Folks , It doesn't get any bigger than this .Believe me it doesn't !
An absolute firecracker !
India defeated the mighty Aussies...and are now through to the finals !
Also , In the last few days...
Sensex crossed 16000
The Rupee gained over the UsDollar(and USD went below 40 )
India also beat the mighty Proteas !
Finals
India V/s Pakistan...
Folks , It doesn't get any bigger than this .Believe me it doesn't !
Friday, September 21, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Arrrgh !
Arrgh !
I've lost everything !
My bloody-fricking-dang-nashed-madrepore-clucking harddrive just crashed...
All my work (All my fiction and non-fiction)is lost , all my illegally downloaded music and all my illegal e-books are lost...
I guess loss of memory is inevitable be it your hard disk, cd , dvd , floppy(What the hell is that ?), or your own liquefying brain...
Its just so unfair that I have to begin all over again...
Wait ...I see an upside to it...
Its a fresh start...with the faint and fading memories of your past ...
I've lost everything !
My bloody-fricking-dang-nashed-madrepore-clucking harddrive just crashed...
All my work (All my fiction and non-fiction)is lost , all my illegally downloaded music and all my illegal e-books are lost...
I guess loss of memory is inevitable be it your hard disk, cd , dvd , floppy(What the hell is that ?), or your own liquefying brain...
Its just so unfair that I have to begin all over again...
Wait ...I see an upside to it...
Its a fresh start...with the faint and fading memories of your past ...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
13 Biggest Lies
13. The check is in the mail.
12. You get this one, I'll pay next time.
11. You look great.
10. Of course I love you.
9. It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
8. ...but we can still be good friends.
7. She means nothing to me.
6. Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."
5. Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
4. I'll call you later.
3. I've never done anything like this before.
2. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.
1. I DO.
12. You get this one, I'll pay next time.
11. You look great.
10. Of course I love you.
9. It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
8. ...but we can still be good friends.
7. She means nothing to me.
6. Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."
5. Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
4. I'll call you later.
3. I've never done anything like this before.
2. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.
1. I DO.
And do you want fries with that coke sir ?
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!(actually its a piece written by bulmash...visit his site, its great !)
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Kids these days !
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."
Friday, September 14, 2007
Whatta Match !
WOOO HOOO , India won !
Whatta match , whatta match...
A totally nail-biting finish...
First we had bad batting (can be attributed to difficult conditions) , a great bowling and fielding comeback...then agarkar screws up giving 17 runs off his last over.
Shreesanth held his cool.
Next thing you know , we had a tie ! (The very first in this format of the game!)
Then we have a Bowl out (Which India surprisingly did well and pakistan surprisingly did bad )
India Win 3-0
WhooHoo !
WHOO_HOOO!
Whatta match , whatta match...
A totally nail-biting finish...
First we had bad batting (can be attributed to difficult conditions) , a great bowling and fielding comeback...then agarkar screws up giving 17 runs off his last over.
Shreesanth held his cool.
Next thing you know , we had a tie ! (The very first in this format of the game!)
Then we have a Bowl out (Which India surprisingly did well and pakistan surprisingly did bad )
India Win 3-0
WhooHoo !
WHOO_HOOO!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Real Life
No canned laughter,
No one-liners,
no gags, no punch-lines...
Wake Up !
No Wonder
This is Real Life,
Real Life is not a sitcom
No Drama ,
No lengthy monologues,
Hardly any dialogues
No scandals,
Hardly any sex
Wake Up !
No Wonder
This is Real Life
Real Life is not a Soap Opera
Swearsaurus Swear Words: Swearing, Cursing, Cussing and Insulting!(WARNING NSFW!)
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Tall Tales
You can ask any man his height and you will be safe to assume that he will add a few inches to his height before telling it to you.
A man's self esteem hinges a lot on factors like his social status , wealth , power and physical size.
Height is very important.
The taller a man is , (or feels) the better he feels about himself.
I've seen many men who were shorter than me claiming to be a lot taller .
"Hey , I'm six feet tall " says my friend ...(while being an inch shorter than me) "and gets into an argument with me when I tell my actual height , which is Five Foot Nine Inches or 176 cm.Strangely he will start arguing that I am taller than what I've stated. I dont usually argue back with them.I agree with them and say "Six feet ?, Oh you are lot taller than me !".
Its worth it , because you see a smile of satisfaction on their faces.They feel like I've conceded to them by acknowledging their superior height.
Height is important. If parents had a choice they would want their children to have a height advantage. The reasons are obvious, a bigger body means confidence, higher wages, and more attention.
In many countries height is a predictor of social economic background. Malnourished individuals do not grow taller in certain countries and only the well-to-do can afford to obtain height through a plentiful diet that includes lots of protein.
It seems to make sense both biologically and socially to be taller. Throughout evolution, the ‘human’ species has been getting taller. Granted, this fact is due to spinal columns becoming more erect. But, perhaps humans associate greater height with being better because higher intelligence, as was height, a result of evolution.
On the average, males tend to be larger than females, and in most societies, men hold the power. Height is therefore associated with power. Accordingly, because women are shorter, they are seen as inferior and are therefore not given the power.(An extremely unfair and unethical practice)
In our society, many men and women still hold to the traditional ideals that men should be dominant and aggressive, and women should be passive and unaggressive. These people (assuming they’re heterosexual) would tend to look for a mate with the according height; men look for women who are shorter than them because society says they should be more powerful than their mate.
Secord and Jourard performed a study on male attitudes toward body size. Their studies showed that body characteristics pertaining to “masculinity” is related to the size of body parts. Because masculinity was desired, large body size was therefore also the ideal. The presence or absence of large size resulted in positive or negative feelings about the self. Obviously, large size was correlated with positive feelings, vice-versa for small size. Other studies have corroborated these findings (Ablon, 27).
One final approach to looking at positive and negative societal correlations with height are idioms. Common phrases such as “looking up” to someone, holding in “high” regard, “big” man on campus, etc. are all positives traits and expressions in our society. On the other hand, “looking down” on someone, talking “down,” possessing “short-comings,” etc. are all negatives traits whose origins are associated with height. All the aspects of height we have discussed here can be looked at evolutionarily and societally. If height yields power, money and status, then it makes sense that the trait which causes a person to receive these rewards would be passed on evolutionarily.
So the next time you see a guy fibbing about his height, Just Let It Be .
Do Not try to disprove him.(Unless you want to hurt him intentionally)
Let him feel superior in his own way.
Interesting Links :
Wikipedia gives you a list of average height of people all over the world.
(Also read the Dinar story of how they have misrepresented their heights.I think this is a global phenomena)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height
For all the answers about tallness and its advantages , go to
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=263337
For short people, here is a wonderful book that helps them deal with and overcome this biased world.
http://www.powells.com/biblio/0618470409?&PID=30608
Envy-Not Me !
"Whenever a friend suceeds, a little something in me dies."
- Gore Vidal
I have to disagree.
When my friend told me she had gotten a job I was happy for her.
In fact , I was overjoyed.
I wanted to hug and congratulate her.
Realizing that such a gesture would not be appropriate and may not be tolerated (I might actually get slapped !) , I settled for a vigorous handshake sprinkled profusely with blabbering words of congratulations.
But I was so happy for her, that it wasn't enough for me...So I had to satisfy myself with another round of vigorous handshake-ala-congrats.
( She didn't share my enthusiasm though...for her it was a mixture of fear , nervousness apprehension, uncertainity and elation which is normal for a first timer like her )
I've got another friend who I consider one of best friends who I think is already very successful.He will soon be out of India's most prestigious institution , and he will be big as they all predict, even bigger I hope.
I'm damn proud to be his friend.
To me , both are successful in their own rights...equally so , even though they might be far apart by a more worldly standard of measuring success.
Strangely I've never felt jealous of them...Their success hasn't come in between our friendship.
In fact I admire them and respect them in my own small and insignificant way.
There are other people who I'm proud to be associated with too(including you ,my dear reader )...but today I'd like to end here , saying that envy was never a problem, never will be.
Rather , I'm strutting proudly even though I had no part in their success.
Indian Gods, As Explained by a Computer Engineer
Technology Mythology
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup Hanuman Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup Hanuman Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
Monday, September 3, 2007
My Scam
Pamistry done here !...
The ancient art of chierosophy and chieromancy
This world renowned palmist is highly trained by chiero and non-chiero methodology , bringing to you the best of both worlds !
He has apprenticed under three world famous palmists !
He is the Practitioner of secret diving methods handed down (No Pun intended ) by the first generation Atlanteans and second generation Lemurians.
He will give you a scientific reading of event markings (on the life line , heart line , and head lines and brilliance , success and fate lines ) and character markings along with accurate chronological time line of event occurences.
Rates :
Regular : 10 min : 5 $
Super saver Pack :30 min : 12 $
(Hurry ! Hurry ! Offer valid for a limited period only !)
With Mysterious Gypsy accent : 10 min : 8 $
Super Saver Gypsy Pack : 30 min :20 $
With Indian Fakir Accent :10 min : 9 $
Super Saver Indian Pack :30 min : 22 $
(All super saver schemes valid only for a limited period of time !)
Disclaimer : This palmist is not affilitaed with *IPA or **iPA.
* Indian Palmistry Association
** International Palmists Association
The ancient art of chierosophy and chieromancy
This world renowned palmist is highly trained by chiero and non-chiero methodology , bringing to you the best of both worlds !
He has apprenticed under three world famous palmists !
He is the Practitioner of secret diving methods handed down (No Pun intended ) by the first generation Atlanteans and second generation Lemurians.
He will give you a scientific reading of event markings (on the life line , heart line , and head lines and brilliance , success and fate lines ) and character markings along with accurate chronological time line of event occurences.
Rates :
Regular : 10 min : 5 $
Super saver Pack :30 min : 12 $
(Hurry ! Hurry ! Offer valid for a limited period only !)
With Mysterious Gypsy accent : 10 min : 8 $
Super Saver Gypsy Pack : 30 min :20 $
With Indian Fakir Accent :10 min : 9 $
Super Saver Indian Pack :30 min : 22 $
(All super saver schemes valid only for a limited period of time !)
Disclaimer : This palmist is not affilitaed with *IPA or **iPA.
* Indian Palmistry Association
** International Palmists Association
Sunday, September 2, 2007
How to make money by pulling scams
ired of slogging it out for a living? Why not make some real cash by pulling a scam? Let me tell you, there are plenty to choose from. Here’s a selection:
1 Clone a Porn Site Scam
It’s incredibly easy to set up a porn site. Step-by-step:
- Register a website in Estonia or Bermuda or Kazakhstan. You know, somewhere where they don’t ask questions about this kind of stuff.
- Visit some existing porn sites and copy all their pictures. You’ll probably need about 100. (Don’t worry about these sites complaining – where do you think they got their pictures?)
- Post these pictures on your own site and charge five bucks to look at them. (Don’t worry about people complaining that you only have 100 pictures. Do you think they’ll go to the Better Business Bureau? And anyway, your site is hosted in Estonia.)
2 Write a ‘How to Get Rich’ Book Scam
What? You don’t know how to get rich quick? That doesn’t matter, do you think the authors of all these other books know how to get rich? They get rich by writing these crappy books, and so can you!
Don’t know what to write? It’s easy. Let’s see, Chapter 1 How to think like a winner. Chapter 2 Take command of your destiny. Chapter 3 Cultivating the dream. See, you can knock this stuff out in no time. And if you’re too lazy to spend three days doing this, you can sell it as an e-book on the Internet. That way you only need to write about ten pages!
3 Identity Theft Scam
If a bunch of Nigerians with bad English and email accounts can do it, you can do it, too! The premise is simple: if one in a thousand people will fall for it, send out a million emails. Like they say, a sucker logs on every minute.
What kind of emails am I talking about? Easy, pick a popular bank, clone their website and send out junk mail asking people to update their personal details.
Don’t have the tehnical skills? Go to your nearest college and find an Eastern European IT student. And don’t forget to host your clone website in Estonia.
4 The Well-Dressed Beggar Scam
Time to go low-tech for a while. Some time ago a sociologist did an experiment at a busy train station in London. First he posed as a beggar dressed in filthy rags to see how much money he could collect. Not much! But the next day, he returned to the station and posed as a businessman who had lost his wallet and needed to buy a ticket to return home.
“I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I’m in a bit of a predicament…”
The old ladies fell over themselves to help out the ‘nice young man’ who had gotten into a ‘spot of bother’. And train tickets in London are not cheap!
Get the idea? We’ll make a scam artist out of you yet.
5 The Expiry-Date-Approaching Scam
An oldie but still a goodie. The premise is simple. If you are a young and attractive lady, hang out somewhere where you will meet rich old men with their ‘expiry date’ approaching soon. It worked for Anna Nicole Smith.
Hell, even if you’re unattractive, it’ll still work. Just pick one whose eyesight is failing! And guys, you’ve got a chance, too. Remember that women usually outlive their husbands (I wonder why!), so there are plenty of rich widows out there.
6 The Psychic Scam
The great thing about pretending to be a psychic is that nobody really expects you to prove it. If someone were to say, “If you’re really psychic, what’s my mother’s middle name?”, you could just answer, “The powers don’t work that way,” and continue to babble on about auras and voices from the other world.
The key here is to never give any concrete information. Talk in vague terms and tell people what they want to hear. “You will find Mr. Right soon!”
It’s simple; you buy a crystal ball and the Dummies Guide to Tarot Cards and you’re all set to scam.
7 The E-Bay Scam
Another oldie but goodie. Remember the toast on E-Bay with the image of Mary on it. Well, it seems that Catholics are willing to part with large sums of money for crap as long as it’s got that miraculous image on it. So open that fridge and get to painting those images.
Hell, you can sell anything on E-Bay. Even air (if you claim it’s for ‘charity’).
8 The Pyramid Scheme Scam
Why oh why do chumps invest their money in these things? Statistics show that in many of these pyramids, less than one percent of the members make any money.
Unless, that is, you start the pyramid scheme yourself. That’s right; the guy at the top of the pyramid makes plenty of cash from his ‘downlines’ of suckers. After all, once you start your pyramid, anyone else who joins has to pay some money to you!
Of course, you should never use the phrase ‘pyramid scheme’ on your marks. Refer to it as a ‘multi-level business opportunity’.
9 Start a Cult
If you’re really hardcore, there’s no better scam to pull than starting up a cult. After all, what could be better than having hundreds of ‘disciples’ catering to your every whim because you’ve persuaded them that you’re Zahesh the Messenger of the Apocalypse (or something like that). Within no time, they’ll be emptying their bank accounts to fill up yours.
And don’t think you need to have a magnetic personality and good looks to pull this scam – just look at Kim Jong Il!
10 The Military Industrial Complex Scam
This one is really a scam for the rich to get richer. But anyway, here goes:
You need to be able to enter politics and make friends with the neocons (those are the Republicans that are gathered around the White House having secret discussions with each other). At the same time, you maintain your links with shady arms manufacturers.
You use your influence to lobby congress to send even more aid to Israel. No, not money, silly, we’re talking about military aid, here. After all, these pesky Palestinians teenagers are throwing rocks at the Israeli tanks again.
Now where oh where can we source some military hardware from. Lucky you have plenty of contacts in the arms industry. The best thing is that it’s not even called a kickback. It’s a ‘consultancy fee’.
So there we are. All in all, we’ve learned that whether you’re an average joe, an Eastern European or a white house insider, there’s a scam for you!
1 Clone a Porn Site Scam
It’s incredibly easy to set up a porn site. Step-by-step:
- Register a website in Estonia or Bermuda or Kazakhstan. You know, somewhere where they don’t ask questions about this kind of stuff.
- Visit some existing porn sites and copy all their pictures. You’ll probably need about 100. (Don’t worry about these sites complaining – where do you think they got their pictures?)
- Post these pictures on your own site and charge five bucks to look at them. (Don’t worry about people complaining that you only have 100 pictures. Do you think they’ll go to the Better Business Bureau? And anyway, your site is hosted in Estonia.)
2 Write a ‘How to Get Rich’ Book Scam
What? You don’t know how to get rich quick? That doesn’t matter, do you think the authors of all these other books know how to get rich? They get rich by writing these crappy books, and so can you!
Don’t know what to write? It’s easy. Let’s see, Chapter 1 How to think like a winner. Chapter 2 Take command of your destiny. Chapter 3 Cultivating the dream. See, you can knock this stuff out in no time. And if you’re too lazy to spend three days doing this, you can sell it as an e-book on the Internet. That way you only need to write about ten pages!
3 Identity Theft Scam
If a bunch of Nigerians with bad English and email accounts can do it, you can do it, too! The premise is simple: if one in a thousand people will fall for it, send out a million emails. Like they say, a sucker logs on every minute.
What kind of emails am I talking about? Easy, pick a popular bank, clone their website and send out junk mail asking people to update their personal details.
Don’t have the tehnical skills? Go to your nearest college and find an Eastern European IT student. And don’t forget to host your clone website in Estonia.
4 The Well-Dressed Beggar Scam
Time to go low-tech for a while. Some time ago a sociologist did an experiment at a busy train station in London. First he posed as a beggar dressed in filthy rags to see how much money he could collect. Not much! But the next day, he returned to the station and posed as a businessman who had lost his wallet and needed to buy a ticket to return home.
“I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I’m in a bit of a predicament…”
The old ladies fell over themselves to help out the ‘nice young man’ who had gotten into a ‘spot of bother’. And train tickets in London are not cheap!
Get the idea? We’ll make a scam artist out of you yet.
5 The Expiry-Date-Approaching Scam
An oldie but still a goodie. The premise is simple. If you are a young and attractive lady, hang out somewhere where you will meet rich old men with their ‘expiry date’ approaching soon. It worked for Anna Nicole Smith.
Hell, even if you’re unattractive, it’ll still work. Just pick one whose eyesight is failing! And guys, you’ve got a chance, too. Remember that women usually outlive their husbands (I wonder why!), so there are plenty of rich widows out there.
6 The Psychic Scam
The great thing about pretending to be a psychic is that nobody really expects you to prove it. If someone were to say, “If you’re really psychic, what’s my mother’s middle name?”, you could just answer, “The powers don’t work that way,” and continue to babble on about auras and voices from the other world.
The key here is to never give any concrete information. Talk in vague terms and tell people what they want to hear. “You will find Mr. Right soon!”
It’s simple; you buy a crystal ball and the Dummies Guide to Tarot Cards and you’re all set to scam.
7 The E-Bay Scam
Another oldie but goodie. Remember the toast on E-Bay with the image of Mary on it. Well, it seems that Catholics are willing to part with large sums of money for crap as long as it’s got that miraculous image on it. So open that fridge and get to painting those images.
Hell, you can sell anything on E-Bay. Even air (if you claim it’s for ‘charity’).
8 The Pyramid Scheme Scam
Why oh why do chumps invest their money in these things? Statistics show that in many of these pyramids, less than one percent of the members make any money.
Unless, that is, you start the pyramid scheme yourself. That’s right; the guy at the top of the pyramid makes plenty of cash from his ‘downlines’ of suckers. After all, once you start your pyramid, anyone else who joins has to pay some money to you!
Of course, you should never use the phrase ‘pyramid scheme’ on your marks. Refer to it as a ‘multi-level business opportunity’.
9 Start a Cult
If you’re really hardcore, there’s no better scam to pull than starting up a cult. After all, what could be better than having hundreds of ‘disciples’ catering to your every whim because you’ve persuaded them that you’re Zahesh the Messenger of the Apocalypse (or something like that). Within no time, they’ll be emptying their bank accounts to fill up yours.
And don’t think you need to have a magnetic personality and good looks to pull this scam – just look at Kim Jong Il!
10 The Military Industrial Complex Scam
This one is really a scam for the rich to get richer. But anyway, here goes:
You need to be able to enter politics and make friends with the neocons (those are the Republicans that are gathered around the White House having secret discussions with each other). At the same time, you maintain your links with shady arms manufacturers.
You use your influence to lobby congress to send even more aid to Israel. No, not money, silly, we’re talking about military aid, here. After all, these pesky Palestinians teenagers are throwing rocks at the Israeli tanks again.
Now where oh where can we source some military hardware from. Lucky you have plenty of contacts in the arms industry. The best thing is that it’s not even called a kickback. It’s a ‘consultancy fee’.
So there we are. All in all, we’ve learned that whether you’re an average joe, an Eastern European or a white house insider, there’s a scam for you!
The cuckoo story
This is its favourite pose !
As soon as it sees any one of us , it starts chirping and opening its mouth and flapping its wings .
It stops only once it is fed and satiated.
A follow up on the cuckoo.
http://keshavarao2001.multiply.com/journal/item/300/The_Sparrow_and_the_CuckooGuilt_and_Redemption
As you can see , the bird is doing fine.
Eats papayas , pomegranates and bananas.
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