Mad Mad World

Its a mad mad world out there.

To be a part of it , you have to be mad as well.We all live in our own reality bubbles.We all suffer from tunnel vision where we see the closest approximation of our own realities.It is not the eyes that see lies but the mind's eye that conjures fantasies.

Its a mad mad world out there.

To function, you have to be insane to a degree as well.

I don't agree with the 'Fake it till you make it' dogma.This new age philosotainment is nothing but wishful thinking...where we are willingly hallucinating .Suppose you are a soldier stationed in Iraq (pronounced Eye-rack by yankees worldwide), and you have a deep gash across your chest thanks to an exploding shell, then thinking that you have no gash will not stop you from dying.Miracle stories abound everywhere tell you otherwise...but somewhere down the line you know that they are lying, that they have lied by omission or distortion.

Everything in this world is distorted by our perceptions.

Its a mad mad world out there and Its a crime not be mad as well.

(To all loners.)

You see the madness as it is.Which is why you choose to distance yourself.But that is madness too.Sometimes you don't understand it.The madness and the general blindness and the conspiratorial complicity bewilder you.

Here is a possible solution.

Immerse yourslef in the madness, if for no other reason but to simply understand it.Don't worry.You will retain your objectivity,You will retain your unfiltered vision.You will retain your loathing for the smoke and mirrors,all the bells and whistles.You will not be swept away by the madness.

But if you are,then who will know better? 

Its a Mirror Neuron Thing.

 I can't watch people kissing.

Especially when someone gets kissed in the neck.

It feels ticklish down my neck.

I immediately close my eyes and recite the multiplication tables of 13.

I'm very ticklish.My achilles heel is stupid.

Its a mirror neuron thing.

Best Intentions

Sometimes best intentions can fail us.

When you try to help someone with the best intentions in your heart, and it fails,then wait for the backlash.

They will blame you for trying to help.

Sometimes it feels like it isn't even worth it.

My relatives had a pet tortoise.In winters it gets really cold there...so I expalined the concept of cold blooded animals and their need to depend on external sources of heat.

They somehow interpreted it as 'Keep the tortoise out of water'

It died due to dehydration.

They blamed it on my advice.

I didn't ask them to abandon common sense.

Every animal needs water, especially aquatic ones.

Now, I'm just worried about another problem and its possible backlash.

I probably won't be asked this question but...

What are you wearing right now?

'Nothing', she said, and a naughty smile crept across her face when she imagined what he was doing as he was talking right now...

A short piece of fiction that makes sense,doesn't it?

I probably won't be asked this question but my answer is the same.

Nothing.

It's so frickin hot in mangalore, it is impossible to function with your clothes on.

Nelly's old song 'It's gettin hot in here' comes to mind.

So I've shed my clothes and my inhibitions, and I'm comfortably numb.(Pink Floyd Rocks!)

 

 

Undue Advantage

You probably ask your friends advice don't you?

But what if that advice pertains to the friends expertise...and usually they get paid for dispensing that advice?

Would you still do it?

Would you still do it in a non-professional setting?

Would you still do it in a casual setting knowing that they will not ask for remuneration?

Would you feel guilty?

I feel very guilty.It feels like I'm taking undue advantage of them.

But as friends who want the best for you and  have no monetary gain...they usually offer the best advice.I think.

What would you do if you saw Buddha today?

 

Clarification

I just want to clarify to my readers that I'm not writing about them...I've decided to keep what I write separate from my readers to whatever extent it is possible.

Although the themes and events might seem to echo with recent events in your life,my blog is not about you.

If it is about you, I will tell you about it.

So don't get pissed off at me.

 

Billu Barbarian

Rating:	★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Comedy

Show me the Funny!

Let me confess...I'm not a fan of Priyadarshan's movies.So this review will be biased.
But tell me what isn't?
Billu Barber...Oh Wait! I might have upset a few hairstylists who charge ridiculous amount of moolah to snip at the hair tips.
Political Correctness has risen to the level of absurdity.
Billu can no longer be called a barber.It is derogatory...Hence the movie is rechristened 'Billu ke bak bak' or in many places simply 'Billu'

Show me the funny Mr.Priyadarshan.I expected a comedy.What I got was a bland movie with pointless sequences.

Yes! I agree.Sharuck Khan/Sahir Khan is a superstar.
He is perfect for the role,
But Mr.Priyadarshan, why do you have to hammer the point so repeatedly that I now suffer from blunt force trauma?
The helicopter sequence,the 3 pointless item songs, the in-your-face-unsubtle-loudness...why oh why do you have to shove sahir khan 's superstardom in our faces so often?I know Bollywood can afford to waste more money, but was that stupid space-man fight sequence really needed?

Billu is a story that is as old as Mahabharat itself , I'm told.
The story of Kuchela and Krishna, two friends -one rich and one poor, both who had the same humble beginnings and a rock solid friendship is being revisited by Billu and Sahir Khan.

Fortuity has no logic.When it shines, it does not decide.Such is movie (il)logic

In the story,Sahir Khan decides on a whim that they will shoot their movie in the sleepy village of Budbuda (U.P), where somehow Billu , his old friend lives now as an impoverished barber too proud (or too smart) for handouts.
Chaos ensues as people find out about the friendship between the humble Hair Artist and the super-duper-mega-star.
And that is the story,my friends.

Show me the funny , Mr.Priyadarshan.I was eagerly waiting for the funnies to roll in, for laughter to flow
...and I waited...

and I waited...

and I waited...

Arrgh!

This is getting frustrating!

The funniest sequence in this sad movie is when the inspector messes up his lines in all permutations and combinations.In all other places one is forced to laugh at people getting slapped in the head or billu's misfortune or billu getting insulted.
Rajpal yadav was nauseating as usual.Om puri was sleepwalking throughout, asrani needs to go back to his Angrezon-ki-zamane-ka-jailer act-Aha!
Lara Dutta is ok..Sharuck Khan and Irrfan Khan are good,especially in the very contrived tear-jerker climax...but the movie itself is so dull and dreary that you wish to run away from it.
Frankly speaking, a few gags and a bit of toilet humour would have done the movie some good.Even the classic all-out- Helter-Skelter Priyadarshan climax with all his cast embroiled in a huge mess is sorely missed.

The movie has no entertainment value and you should not waste your time watching it.(Go Ahead, watch it...Don't trust me!)