Just asking...do stories like these make you cry?

In 2001, I met a cute girl named Amanda at my high school. She and I were both pretty quiet but became good friends and hung out together often; eventually, she became the kind of childhood friend you'd sit on the sofa with for hours on a Saturday not really doing anything other than eating lots of Gogurts and unconsciously enjoying the purity and innocence of youth. I was friend-zoned early but in all honesty I didn't mind (and only really realize it now). The emotional connection we shared was different than anything I had ever experienced at the time. On a brisk October Tuesday afternoon, she called to tell me she was diagnosed with Leukemia. She was very relaxed about it, without tears or anxiety. I still believe she didn't know what was going on. I tried to comfort her but she didn't want to focus on that when we spent time together. Months passed and she underwent various treatments. The thought of being there for her and supporting her more than her other "friends" made me feel like I had a purpose, a mission, even an empirically quantifiable model of success: her getting over leukemia. She and I would skip classes together to go to her "doctor's appointments" since she "couldn't really drive and needed a driver for safety". We would stop to get milkshakes on the way back to school, and blue razzberry slushies from the gas station on Fridays. I would be lying if I said I didn't grow to love this girl. As she got worse, I was at the hospital every day by her side. Her other "friends" were mysteriously absent. One day I caught myself thinking "If only she can get over this, she and I can go to college together and maybe even get married - really have a true life together." I had fallen for her. Pinned on her was my future, my desires, and my first sense of deep love for someone else.

On Wednesday at 4:54 PM, March 12th, my birthday, Amanda passed away. Sitting quietly and motionless on my empty sofa, I realized she was the only person I had ever truly loved, as much as a naive 18 year old can love anything, yet it was the one thing I never told her. I try not to blame myself for not telling her what all the movies tell me every young girl wants to hear, but at 18, death is such an unamalgamated idea and death mixed with love is a cancer in itself. Now married with a child on the way, I can't help but sit on the sofa holding my wife whom I dearly love, and thinking guiltily to myself "Amanda, I love you."

I'm sure she knew.

Ta dah!!!

The dark side of Dubai - Johann Hari, Commentators - The Independent

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/johann-hari/the-dark-side-of-dubai-1664368.html
Fascinating read on Dubai...link originally posted by segaman.

Why Do We Demonize Men Who Are Honest About Their Sexual Needs? | Sex & Relationships | AlterNet

http://www.alternet.org/sex/148291/why_do_we_demonize_men_who_are_honest_about_their_sexual_needs?page=1

Halloween's close by

Sandcastles on clouds are just as wispy

DO YOU WANT TO IMPROVE an important aspect of your life?

 

Perhaps lose weight, find your perfect partner, obtain your dream job, or simply be happier? Try this simple exercise. …

Close your eyes and imagine the new you. Think how great you would look in those close-fitting designer jeans, dating Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, sitting in a luxurious leather chair at the top of the corporate ladder, or sipping a piña colada as the warm waves of the Caribbean gently lap at your feet.

The good news is that this type of exercise has been recommended by some in the self-help industry for years. The bad news is that a large body of research now suggests that such exercises are, at best, ineffective and, at worst, harmful. Although imagining your perfect self may make you feel better, engaging in such mental escapism can also have the unfortunate side effect of leaving you unprepared for the difficulties that crop up on the rocky road to success, thus increasing the chances of your faltering at the first hurdle rather than persisting in the face of failure. Fantasizing about heaven on earth may put a smile on your face, but it is unlikely to help transform your dreams into reality.

Other research suggests that the same goes for many popular techniques that claim to improve your life. Attempting to “think yourself happy” by suppressing negative thoughts can make you obsess on the very thing that makes you unhappy. Group brainstorming can produce fewer and less original ideas than individuals working alone. Punching a pillow and screaming out loud can increase, rather than decrease, your anger and stress levels.

Then there is the infamous “Yale Goal Study.” According to some writers, in 1953 a team of researchers interviewed Yale’s graduating seniors, asking them whether they had written down the specific goals that they wanted to achieve in life. Twenty years later the researchers tracked down the same cohort and found that the 3 percent of people who had specific goals all those years before had accumulated more personal wealth than the other 97 percent of their classmates combined. It is a great story, frequently cited in self-help books and seminars to illustrate the power of goal setting. There is just one small problem—as far as anyone can tell, the experiment never actually took place. In 2007 writer Lawrence Tabak, from the magazine Fast Company, attempted to track down the study, contacting several writers who had cited it, the secretary of the Yale Class of 1953, and other researchers who had tried to discover whether the study had actually happened.1 No one could produce any evidence that it had ever been conducted, causing Tabak to conclude that it was almost certainly nothing more than an urban myth. For years, self-help gurus had been happy to describe a study without checking their facts.

Both the public and the business world have bought into modern-day mind myths for years and, in so doing, may have significantly decreased the likelihood of achieving their aims and ambitions. Worse still, such failure often encourages people to believe that they cannot control their lives. This is especially unfortunate, as even the smallest loss of perceived control can have a dramatic effect on people’s confidence, happiness, and life span. In one classic study conducted by Ellen Langer at Harvard University, half of the residents in a nursing home were given a houseplant and asked to look after it, while the other residents were given an identical plant but told that the staff would take responsibility for it.2 Six months later, the residents who had been robbed of even this small amount of control over their lives were significantly less happy, healthy, and active than the others. Even more distressing, 30 percent of the residents who had not looked after their plant had died, compared to 15 percent of those who had been allowed to exercise such control. Similar results have been found in many areas, including education, career, health, relationships, and dieting. The message is clear—those who do not feel in control of their lives are less successful, and less psychologically and physically healthy, than those who do feel in control.

-Richard Wiseman, (59 seconds, Think a Little, Change a Lot)

Do animals masturbate? - By Daniel Engber - Slate Magazine

http://www.slate.com/id/2223013/pagenum/all/#p2
Dont miss the slide show!
Trust me...it's hilarious!