Mutant

Some people have rapid healing, others have laser beams shooting out
of their eyes...what do I have?

Nothing useful really.

Well,
I never wanted to be a rockstar-superstar-superhero
that saves the world and flies off with a damsel in his arms
while his arch nemesis swears revenge once again.

I didn't want to save the world,
fight oppression,untruth and injustice,
fight for the weak,malnourished and meek

or

destroy the universe for it's own good or
alter the fabric of space,time and reality.

Some people have rapid healing,others have laser beams shooting out of
their eyes...what did I have?

I could fall in love with anyone rapidly.

That was my ability,my so called superpower.

In fact I was the fastest amongst all of us.
12 fuckin' picoseconds...quicker than you can say Draw! (or
paint,sketch or stencil...Long live Banksy)

It was also the second most useless power to have, right after the guy
with the chicken head and chicken feathers and air filled bones
(pneumatic pbones with 2 silent P's).

Apart from that, I was totally and pathetically normal...no
retractable claws,no telekinesis and no fuckin' shapeshifting
abilities.

In other words; Bo-oo-oring!

Then there was that girl.

Isn't there always one?

For the first time in life I fought against my own powers.
She was so pure and lofty,
so goddesslike,
so angelic...
that I didn't deserve to love her,
or so I thought.

I fought hard.
It lasted exactly 13 fuckin' picoseconds...quicker than you can say
Draw! (or sketch,shade or color)

Later I found out that she was one of us too.

Her power was that she could know about anyone who was in love with her.
She called it

(albeit somewhat naively)

'Woman's Intuition'

She confronted me.
Demanded an explanation...she wanted to " talk about it" (Don't they
all? picture me ,in your minds eye,raising two quotation marks with my
hands while I emphasize 'talk About It')

I told her the truth that I didn't deserve someone like her.

(truth is subjective...everything is relative,everything is
subjective...isn't relative and subjective the same thing?)

She agreed.
She didn't think I deserved to love her either.

I felt miserable for not being able to stop loving her.
Maybe if I stopped loving her,it would make her happy.

Anyways...I tried.

I tried hard.

She never asked me to stop either,
but made it clear that she'd never love me.
She confessed that she had never learnt
what the word 'Love' meant.

Someday,with the right person,
she claimed she would learn 'love'
in all its glory.

Until then she'd have to be be content
with chopping off heads,
and crushing hearts.

I felt miserable,unloved and all alone.

This was the first time in many years that I felt completely normal.

And then you come along,crashing uninvited into my life.

1 picosecond,2 picoseconds,3 pico...Dammit!


Goddamit! I hate being me!


--
<

Luscious

Luscious
--------

Her plump reddening cheeks
invite you,
tempt you,
taunt you...

to squeeze them ripe,
to taste them,
to bite them soft,
and then harder,
and harder,

and harder
to feel alive
to see the pain in her eyes,
brimming tears,a quivering lip
is all you are left with

A warm kiss,you suppose,
to take away the pain
that you gave her
does nothing to cheer
her sullen eyes

A solitary rolling tear
caught as it falls forgotten
a promise made,
but soon,
it too will be forgotten

and all this alas!
fails to bring a smile
on her

The truth, you tell her
is old as the original sin

being luscious, is her fault...
not yours

apples are meant to be tasted
even when on cheeks
and she smiles,
for you are forgiven

hallelujah!
the truth shall set you free

--
<

Bird's Eye View

The bird's-eye view
can decieve you
but Caution! Objects in the mirror
Are closer than they appear.

--
<

Did He Just Say That? : Stache

"Ah...I see you haven't shaved your stache for weeks...Looks cute
though...for a girl!(snicker)"


"You bastard!...


"It's ok , I haven't shaved my stache either...

See!

(I'm cleanly shaven)

I'm thinking of a goatee next week...I think we should trade styles"



You dog!...you sonofabitch!"

(Skip a beat)

(in silent resignation)
"Yeah...it's been a while, you bastard"



"Yeah babe! I like it when you talk dirrrrrrty"



(half shocked half surprised,smiling)

"Asshole!"



"Yeah...I love you too babe"

(Works like a charm,each time,every time.)

--
<

Did He Just Say That? : Chicks

Do women feel like poultry sometimes?

We choose both based on the same criteria,don't we?

"Hey Bob,can I get some chicken?
something not too big,not too small...should be young and have tender
succulent breasts and nice legs...yeah deboned and and skinned as
well...I don't want the fat either and who wants the head anyway?

Hey Bob,check out the tits on those chicks man..."

(of course...these days you get a prepackaged chicken in the aisles of
any supermarket...try reading the adverts on the packages
-tender,juicy breasts and legs...young,wholesome &
fresh...deboned...seems like they aren't even talking about dead
chicken body parts here)
--
<

The Vegetarian Joke

People ask me why I'm a vegetarian.

I have the same answer every time 'I don't eat dead animals'

That's a joke.

Some people get it.
Some don't.
The ones that don't usually take grave offense.
Or pretend to.

The ones that do get the joke, try to top it...

After pondering a while,
they say
'...So do you eat living animals?'

What a brilliantly unoriginal comeback!

I stifle my yawn and say....

'Only the ones that ask too many questions'

Some people get it.
Some don't.

--
<

Did He Just Say That? : Men are Boobs

Women take note.

Men love boobs.(not the stupid kind)

Men love tits.(Again...not the flying kind)

Your boyfriend,lover or husband ,at times wil act like he owns them
even though they are attached to you.

Learn to live with it.


--
<